Larry James' BLOG

Sunday, April 7, 2013

Perhaps it’s Time to “Sitr Tihngs uP!”

If your relationship is kinda lying dormant… mix it up a little. Begin to do things differently. Don’t get bogged down with the same old boring routine.

“Sitr Tihngs uP!”

I kid you not, when you mix things up in a relationship, all kinds of fun stuff can begin to happen. Breaking things up a bit triggers something in your brain that adds back in that sense of newness and excitement you might be missing from the early days of your relationship. If your relationship is stagnant, stirring things up will add spice to a boring relationship. This is the big secret to spice up a boring relationship.

BEtogetherThere are all kinds of diversions that continually draw your attention elsewhere… children, a miserable job, the car needs new tires, etc. Everyday annoyances that build up over months, years, or even decades. We fret about the past and we worry about the future. We strain toward tomorrow and we struggle against yesterday.

Fuhgeddaboudit! Change your mind. Everyone has the unique ability to do that. Cut out all the crap that you know is a distraction. Focus your thoughts more on your partner and your relationship.

Try this: Out with the old activities, and in with the new! Doing the same old thing forever and ever can negatively affect the romance and intimacy of your relationship. It is time to take action! You need new ideas to help you stir things up a bit.

There is a line in my Wedding ceremony that says, “Never stop doing the things that brought you together in the first place. Often when I am talking with a couple about planning their wedding ceremony, one or the other of them will say, “We need to do that!” It’s easy to slip into an attitude of taking your partner for granted. You know you love each other but fail to say it aloud as much as when you first met. That is a mistake.

BedroomMovesIf passion has subsided… maybe you need a change of scenery. Be determined to beat boredom. Get creative – together. Move the furniture around in the living room. Don’t neglect the master bedroom. Make it a romantic love nest. Remove the television. Use your master bedroom for sleeping and making love… not necessarily in that order.

Challenge your own status quo. Plan some special time to be together – just the two of you. Tease each other with text messages. Leave the children in the care of a responsible adult and go on a date. The kind of date you had when you were first together. It will give the two of you something to anticipate and work toward, together. Having a goal in your sights will help take the edge off what can often feel like monotony in everyday life.

If you are like most couples, you both work, you’re tired and when you get home you want to grab something cold to drink, turn the TV on and crash. Stirring things up triggers the brain to think new thoughts and feel new ways. That is always a winning combination. Pull yourself out of the rut you’re in. Your “tiredness” can turn to excitement and suddenly inspire you to stop being a couch potato and be adventurous.

Go to a park, sit under a tree, spread a blanket, and just talk to each other – not about the kids, not about work, just communicate with each other. BE in the present moment. Breathe! If your partner is the most special person in your life, say so. Words do have power and if said genuinely, they convey your intentions, emotions and feelings in a very special way. Remember sweet talk? Talk like a lover. Don’t hold back. Be a committed listener.

True partners share the good and the bad about their lives and their relationship. It’s really great to have a safe place like your relationship where you can discuss your innermost secrets and desires. Often couples who have been together for a long time forget that being together is not just about loving each other, it’s about expressing that love in a way that demonstrates the love and respect you feel for each other.

I don’t believe that you can ever be together too long to begin again. Someone has to take the first step. Fear of what your partner will say if all of a sudden you begin expressing your love in ways that hasn’t happened for a long time will keep you both stuck! It’s time to super-charge your relationship. If your relationship is in the “drift” mode and you have become distant, reconciliation can be a big step in the right direction. Make some new promises. Recommit to each other. Be together and start over.

There is a scripture in the Bible that reads, “And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works” (Hebrews 10:24 ESV). Work together to inspire, challenge, and encourage each other to “Sitr Tihngs uP!”

CLoveLOGOCopyright © 2013 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact:, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – and

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.


Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page:
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at:
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at:
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at:


Blog at

%d bloggers like this: