Larry James' CelebrateLove.com BLOG

Monday, October 28, 2013

Got Problems? Good!

Filed under: Accountability,Relationships — Larry James @ 7:30 am
Tags: , , ,

Life works. It works in direct proportion to the way you work it. It is working just the way you have planned it. If you are saying to yourself, “This is simply not true!” you most likely do not have a written plan. No plan is a plan to have things happen the way they happen. Consider the fact that your life is the way it is because of the choices you have made up to this point.

Got problems? Good! Why do I say good? Because problems call attention to that which is in need of a fix!

couple_upsetYou must accept responsibility for your choices and for the consequences of your actions. Accept responsibility for the way things are. If you don’t like the way things are, change them. Unless you have a plan for life to be different than it is right now, life will continue to show up the way it always has for you. Be accountable to yourself.

“When things work; take the credit. When things don’t work, take the heat.” ~ Larry James

Accept responsibility that we cause most of the problems that occur in our life. Most of life’s predicaments are predictable. We don’t seem to learn from our difficulties so we get to experience the same predicament again. Not learning from adversity makes your life’s predicaments predictable. Problems by design are repetitive. If we don’t learn the lesson the problem presents the first time, we can predict with a high degree of reliability that it will occur again.

Ever wonder why you make the same mistakes or have the same problems over and over again? Not paying attention may be an answer. Thinking you have no control over what happens to you is another. The measure of a man’s progress is not whether he has a tough problem to deal with, it’s whether it’s the same problem he had last year.

Upsets are prolonged by rehearsing them in your mind. Quit wallowing in your difficulties. If you want quick recovery from your problems, learn to quickly change your mental image of the problem. For things to be different, you must do things differently. How you have been won’t work. If how you have been in the past isn’t working, you must learn to change the way you do things.

My friend, Dr. Michael LeBoeuf, author of Imagineering, says that a mistake only proves someone stopped talking long enough to do something. When you do things, you will make mistakes. The secret is to learn from your mistakes and push forward. Never stay hooked to the past. The past is an energy drain. Focus on what you want, not on what you don’t want. You should only look back to learn from your mistakes and to see how far you’ve come. According to Oscar Wilde, experience is the name we give our mistakes.

It was Charles F. Kettering who said, “You will never stub your toe standing still. The faster you go, the more chance there is of stubbing your toe, but the more chance you have of getting somewhere.”

We all make errors. The miracle of error is the access to opportunity it presents – to learn from your mistakes. Mistakes cause problems. Accept responsibility for your problems. They don’t just happen.

CLoveLOGOCopyright © 2013 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
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Thursday, July 5, 2012

Get Out of Your Own Way!

If you are one who can’t seem to settle down with “the one,” then you might consider doing some soul-searching. If success seems to evade you regardless of what you do, then it’s time to have a talk with yourself. You can blame it on the way you and the rest of us were taught to think. But blame will not reverse the effect unless you make a conscious decision to live your life in a way that supports you in what you are really up to.

GetoutofyourownwayIt’s important to remember that wrong decisions don’t make YOU wrong and as crazy as it may sound, one of the ways we learn is through the mistakes we make. But I have to ask, “Why are so many of us unaware of our own self-defeating behavior?”

“Self-sabotage is not just some cutesy catch-phrase, but rather a state of being that is every bit as real as poverty, obesity, homelessness, and any other world-class problem that you can think of. The human capacity for beating the crap out of our own dreams is, sadly, one of our greatest talents.” ~ Aaron Potts

I have found that being in a relationship is both awesome and scary. Perhaps losing the relationship you’re in might serve as a motivator for you to make some changes – or not. You must learn to change your attitudes, beliefs and behaviors that may be blocking you. Having a “healthy” relationship is about making wise choices. Sometimes just keeping our mouth shut is “very” wise. 😉

Getting out of your own way requires an awareness and self-examination. You must focus your energy in a new direction. Your habits, attitudes, beliefs and expectations, are what are actually holding you back in your relationships.

boulderWhat if you were the boulder in the road that’s stopping you? Are you ready for the truth? To get a clear picture of what is really going on it’s time to face the facts. If what you are currently doing is not working, and if you truly want to move ahead you must change the way you are doing it. And when you can’t get a handle on it, get help.

Are you shooting yourself in the foot. Does it feel like your foot in nailed to the floor – you’re not moving forward – everything seems to always be the same? No matter how hard you try, you keep thwarting your own efforts. It’s time to break the cycle of self-sabotage and begin the journey of self-discovery and self-love – to take responsibility for and be accountable to YOU for your actions. Taking responsibility is the most critical step toward relationship success that you will ever make in anything you undertake, either personally or professionally.

Happy couple“Do what you said you would do, when you said you would do it, the way you said you would do it. This simple statement is rooted in personal responsibility. It should be at the very core of all your interaction with others. Every time you are tempted to slack off and do less or be less than you could, remind yourself that you are a person of integrity who lives by this simple creed.” ~ Larry Winget

Making your relationship one you can be proud to be in begins with focusing on what you want, not on how you are going to get it – by not holding back. Focus. In your mind, see how you would like it to be. By not holding back, you learn how to navigate and become aware of your dilemmas in life and and next unapologetically remove anyone and anything that does not better you – anything that stands in your way… including yourself. You must give up your self-defeating behavior. In other words, grab hold of new and workable ideas that can change the way you view your relationship, now and forever.

Give up any negative self-talk. Every minute you spend in a negative mindset is a waste of time. It is a poison, preventing you from achieving the love, success and happiness you want in your relationships. Make some new choices. You have to work at being more balanced and secure in the way you think and with the words you speak. What you think about and speak about, you bring about. Remember that.

“If you limit your choices only to what seems possible or reasonable, you disconnect yourself from what you truly want, and all that is left is a compromise.” – Robert Fritz

To get out of your own way, you must simply become aware that you are the cause and the effect. It’s YOU. No one or anything else. It’s you! It took me years to finally be able to look into the mirror and say to me, “You, Larry James, must get out of your own way! It’s you that must choose to do things differently. No one else is to blame but you!” It was then that I began to build a strong foundation for a lasting, satisfying love, first with myself and then with others. I discovered that getting out of my own way began to vastly improve my health, vitality, and moved me toward positive, tolerant, creative ways of learning, loving and living. It can work for you too.

TimeForChange“The moment you understand that you are where you are because of what you have thought and because of what you believed in being possible or impossible, that will be the moment you will also realize that it all lies in your hands. If you want to change your life then I suggest doing something about it right now, in this very moment. If not right now, then when?” ~ Dana Saviuc

Are you ready to change all that is holding you back? Once you commit to action, the worst thing you can do is to stop.

BONUS Articles: Change! “NO! I Don’t Wanna!”
Me Change? Yuk!!
Thoughts about “Change!”
What Is Your Legacy? Living A Meaningful Life

CLoveLOGOCopyright © 2012 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com

Monday, October 26, 2009

LoveNote. . .

As we come to understand our equal share in creating problems, blame, self-doubt, and discord gives way to personal responsibility, accountability, mutual respect and intimacy.

Problems in relationships are never only one persons fault. They are shared problems.

In a healthy love relationship, things are easiest when both love partners take responsibility for the whole, not just their halves.

urloveheart

Copyright © 2009 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and a nondenominational minister. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

letsbefriends2

Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Author and Speakers BLOG” at: http://AuthorsandSpeakersNetwork.wordpress.com

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Confused?

Filed under: Confusion,Relationships — Larry James @ 12:01 am
Tags: , , , ,

It takes a lot of energy to remain confused. If you feel stuck, perhaps it’s time to get clear about confusion.

As long as you remain confused, you will not have to commit to and/or take responsibility for a plan of action such as communicating with your partner or promising to make some positive changes.

Trapped energy causes you to cling to misconceptions about your relationship. This process will help you convert painful emotional energy into powerful energy you can use to move your relationship forward. Let go.

Once the precious energy that was trapped as a painful experience becomes free, it can then be expressed as forgiveness, goodness, beauty and love.

Copyright © 2009 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and a nondenominational minister. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

letsbefriends2

Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Author and Speakers BLOG” at: http://AuthorsandSpeakersNetwork.wordpress.com

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