Larry James' CelebrateLove.com BLOG

Saturday, March 1, 2014

Alone Again?

Filed under: For Singles Only,Relationships — Larry James @ 8:30 am
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Being alone can help you in getting comfortable about being with yourself. When you are comfortable about being with yourself, your feelings of loneliness will gradually disappear. Spend some time learning to be good company with yourself.

Avoid the self-created fear of being alone. Accept that we do this to ourselves. It can bring no good into our lives. We allow fear to cause us to withhold ourselves from others. Fear breeds insecurities.

alone-againIt could be said, for example purposes, that even Tarzan, Lord of the Jungle, was insecure. He would swing from vine to vine, not letting go until the next vine was safely in hand. Does this sound familiar? This may make sense when you are in the jungle. When you are swinging high above the ground, your life depends on it.

Your life does not depend, however, on always being in a relationship. The need to be always swinging from one love partner to another is not in your best interest. If you are coming from a relationship, the last thing you need is another one… right away, that is. In this scenario, there is no safety in numbers.

We are so afraid of finding ourselves hanging in midair, we latch onto the first available vine that happens along. Not a good idea!

Leap into your greatest fear… be by yourself for a while. Take a good look at what “hanging in midair” feels like. You may be surprised! You will be okay. It won’t be the end of the world. Although it may feel like it, that feeling won’t last forever.

It is wise to practice intimacy with “self” during your abstinence from relationships. Try this: Pray to know God better. Thank him for the courage to get serious about the relationship you have with you. Get to know God. Get to know you. Give yourself the gift of solitude. When you are alone… journal. Get in touch with your true feelings.

Work on falling in love with yourself for a change and see how great that feels! Be your own significant other. Practice the art of loving you. Take the precious time out that is necessary to rediscover who you are without a love partner.

You must first learn to be alone and happy before you can be together and happy. Learn that it is possible for you to live alone and not be lonely. Discover how to be self-sufficient. Don’t be dependent on others for your own existence.

Know that when you eventually do connect with someone you can love, your happiness will be enhanced by just knowing that being in the relationship is your choice and not something you need or must have to survive. To have found someone you can share your life with is one of love’s ultimate adventures.

Read this slowly, let it sink in: Not having a relationship doesn’t keep you all warm and cuddly at night; however, getting yourself ready for a really great love relationship must be your highest priority. Be true to yourself first, it is well worth the wait.

CLoveLOGOCopyright © 2014 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
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Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com

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Thursday, August 29, 2013

For Lonely Singles Only

Filed under: For Singles Only — Larry James @ 7:30 am
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If you do not cherish the companionship you find with yourself, then you can never find it with someone else.

It is important to be your own best friend. Doing so gives you knowledge of yourself. You must have a clear understanding of what true friendship is before you can earn the right to share it with someone else.

HEADSupSinglesOnce that status is achieved, the warmth of the friendship you have for yourself will radiate and attract another who has shared a similar experience; someone who will appreciate you for the true friend you really are.

One more thing, never look for a relationship if you are lonely. No one else can make you happy. You have to do that for yourself and you can’t be happy if you are lonely all the time.

Remember, “like attracts like!” Lonely people seem to either choose to remain alone or to hang out with other lonely people. You will not find love there. Lonely people often show up as being very needy. My best advice: Avoid them!

If you have just come from a relationship, you would be wise to not jump back into another relationship too soon. Give yourself some time for the hurt to heal. Take as much time as you need.

The good news is… once you can be okay with being alone and not be lonely… love will find you. However, it will only find you if you make yourself available for love. Mix and mingle with single friends. Live your life. Focus on having fun with other singles. Keep working on you to make yourself ready for Love.

BONUS Articles for Singles: The Three Biggest Mistakes Newly Singles Make
You Date Who You Are!
3 Lies You’re Telling Yourself That Keep You Single
Single and Ready for Love… Caution!

CLoveLOGOCopyright © 2013 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

letsbefriends2

Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com

Thursday, September 24, 2009

For Singles Only

It could be said that one of the signs you may be ready for a committed relationship is when you reach a point where you’ve found someone you love and want to be with, yet you experience a feeling of hesitancy to relinquish the freedom you have also learned to love.

It is the solitude of single life; a place where you learned to love who you are and be comfortable with that. It is proof that you know about discipline.

You must first learn to be alone and not be lonely. Once the lesson is learned, you “may” be ready to take the next step. Never rush into another relationship. Yearning for a relationship when you are lonely is not a good reason to seek it. That only means that you are not yet ready; that you need to spend some more time by yourself.

Important: You must first learn to be alone and not be lonely.

To allow yourself a time of healing, a time to get to know you, is a wonderful gift; the same gift of love that now presents the challenge to step into the future, without holding on to the past. It is the first step you take while you are still afraid.

It requires letting go of the need to be in a relationship and mastering the fear that keeps you from taking the first step to the next relationship; the singles’ rite of passage.

The reluctance to experience this ritual may come from a lack of conversations that construct the mutual commitment necessary to honor each other’s right to be alone while you are together.

A new freedom waits to be discovered; the freedom to be who you really are with the one you love.

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Copyright © 2009 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and a nondenominational minister. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

letsbefriends2

Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Author and Speakers BLOG” at: http://AuthorsandSpeakersNetwork.wordpress.com

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