Larry James' CelebrateLove.com BLOG

Thursday, July 31, 2014

Faith and Trust. . . You Must Have Both!

Filed under: Belief,Faith,Relationships,Trust — Larry James @ 7:30 am
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“Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” – The Bible

Dr. Ernest Holmes wrote: “Faith is a mental attitude which is so convinced of its own idea – which so completely accepts it that any contradiction is unthinkable and impossible.”

Faith&TrustHere is Ernest Holmes’ definition of faith in the glossary of the book, “The Science of Mind:” Faith is a mental attitude, so inwardly embodied that the mind can no longer deny it. Faith is complete when it is both a conscious and subjective acceptance. Faith may be consciously generated. In spiritual terminology, faith means a belief in the presence of an invisible principle and law [another word for God] which directly and specifically responds to us. “Thy faith has made thee whole.”

“Our mightiest ally (our indispensable ally) is belief in something we cannot see, hear, touch, taste, or feel. Resistance wants to rattle that faith. Resistance wants to destroy it.” ~ Steven Pressfield

“We trust people because they showed up when it wasn’t convenient, because they told the truth when it was easier to lie and because they kept a promise when they could have gotten away with breaking it.” ~ Seth Godin

faithOkay… thanks for reading this far. I say all that to say this: You must never stop working on building trust in your marriage and have faith that it will work long-term! Be clear about this: faith is trust! Trust continues to build over time and when both partners demonstrate to each other that true “Love” exists and is present in their relationship. Need I mention unconditional Love? Without doubt, the hardest thing to do, is to love unconditionally.

You “will” face challenges in your relationship! Faith and trust is the glue that keeps everything together. Faith must be based on trust, not signs and evidence. Trust is another way of cooperating with each other. Faith in each other requires trusting that people are inherently good. Never betray your partner’s trust! Never. Trust takes time to build and seconds to break. Faith in each other can help rebuild it.

“We all have moments when it seems like everything is going wrong. It’s unavoidable. Its that enormous leap between your lowest moments and the moments that you think will make you happy that faith is required. It’s precisely when things are at their worst that you need “faith” the most.” ~ James Altucher

Trust the creative power within you. Some people call it God. Trust yourself. Trust you partner. Work together. If you need help, ask for it.

How strong is your faith and trust in “your” relationship?

CLoveLOGOCopyright © 2014 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

commentSubscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
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Tuesday, February 25, 2014

So… What About the Power of Prayer?

Filed under: Prayer,Relationships — Larry James @ 7:30 am
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Have you ever had the feeling that you were moving near the edge of desperation and said something like this, “God, am I ever going to find someone to love?” but past that, you never quite expected an answer?

Or have you been brought to your knees, and said fervently, “God, I’m serious this time. It really would be great if you would send me someone to love and who loves me,” and time dragged on, you’re still single and you never got the answer you wanted?

PrayerWithoutBeliefWhat’s happening here? There seems to be a disconnect. Something is missing.

What’s missing is a healthy mixture of faith and belief!

How many of you pray without believing and wonder why your prayers don’t get answered?

When your belief in the benefits of the prayer you pray, is stronger than your fear, equal to your courage, and has a healthy balance of faith and belief, the answer will come.

Dr. Ernest Holmes wrote: “Faith is a mental attitude which is so convinced of its own idea – which so completely accepts it that any contradiction is unthinkable and impossible.”

Oh, by the way… whatever answer comes may not necessarily look like the answer you thought was best for you, however it will be the answer that is in your best interest. That’s the way prayer works.

Prayer has most always been thought to be a religious practice – not necessarily a spiritual practice – so if you don’t subscribe to any religious deities, who or what can you pray to? There are many benefits to prayer, many have nothing to do with religion.

Would you agree a wish is just a hope or desire for something with no outside control and a prayer is a thought, desire, or question offered to a deity or higher power in hopes of that prayer being heard and answered by the deity or higher power? You may want to read that again.

Me too. So, think about this: “Your belief determines your action and your action determines your results, but first you have to believe.” ~ Mark Victor Hansen

Refusing to admit that it even might work, however, nixes it entirely. And, of course, there’s always “God (The Universe, your Higher Power, Guardian Angel, or whatever you call God) helps those who help themselves.”

Positive or negative, prayer or worry, this channeling of thoughts does work. And, as always, the choice is yours. You must believe!

PrayBOOK

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“Prayer slows our mind, calms our spirit, and centers our heart. It removes our mind from the culture of consumption that surrounds us and centers us on something greater and more important. It calls us to identify our desires and articulate our values.” ~ Joshua Becker

Prayer centers your heart and focuses attention on what is most important.

People who do not pray – people who do not believe in prayer – are convinced that they can do everything themselves. They surrender nothing. They have no faith. They worry that there will be no answer.

Worry is an enemy to faith. Hope in the human sense is not faith. It is wishful thinking, or wishful praying, or wishful asking. Never pretend you have faith when you really don’t believe it is going to happen. That is praying a lie. That, in fact, is a negative prayer which sometimes gets answered too.

“The beginning of anxiety is the end of faith, and the beginning of true faith is the end of anxiety.” ~ George Mueller

spiritualityWhile praying, and after praying, believe that your request has been granted before you see the answer. Believing that prayer works seems to make it work even better. Believe!

“Only faith can guarantee the blessings that we hope for…”

“To one who has faith, no explanation is necessary. To one without faith, no explanation is possible.” ~ St. Thomas Aquinas

Some say you must be willing to prevail for what you asked for, beg for it, agonize over it, then pray for the same thing over and over again. The length or volume or eloquence of our prayer is not the issue, it is the sincerity of our heart and the confidence we have that there will be an answer. Stop it! God heard you the first time!

I believe that every prayer is answered when absolute belief is present; one way or another and always for good and for your benefit. It might not be at the time you want, or the way you want it; but it will be answered. Another benefit of prayer? It teaches you patience while you wait for an answer. 😉

A prayer without belief that your prayer will be answered is incapable of producing any useful result. Next time, suspend your disbelief and say a prayer of thanksgiving. A grateful prayer begins the creation process. Let go of the “wanting” of it and focus on what it feels like to have what you desire. Remember that prayer is made powerful by the sincerity of it and the faith and belief that supports it.

That makes spiritual sense to me. And you?

BONUS Article: A Prayer of Thanksgiving

CLoveLOGOCopyright © 2014 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com

Monday, January 20, 2014

Faith, Family and Friends

I’ve been a relationship coach since 1995. It seems that more and more couples are struggling to get their priorities right. The three topics that have come up over the past 8 to 10 months have been faith, family and friends. You would be wise to put these three things on your priority.

Maybe it’s just me, however I feel that your faith should always be first in your life. There are so many names for God. When I speak of faith, I invite you to call on whatever name you call your Higher Power. To me, faith in something higher than yourself gives you comfort at you live your life. It’s important to have a sacred purpose.

3FsThere are many religions: Judaism, Catholicism, Christianity, Buddhism, Hinduism and Islamic to name a few. Religion is a specific church’s organized approach to human spirituality which usually encompasses a set of rules, narratives, symbols, beliefs and practices, not unlike a “how-to” guide, that give meaning to the practitioner’s experiences of life through reference to God or a higher power usually within that church’s denomination.

Spirituality has to do with what we make of what religion offers us and what we make of our place in life relative to the Divine, to self and to others. Religion could be thought of, at least in very general terms, as a large shared human activity organized and passed along in time to help individuals in their relationship to the Divine and to one another.

God, a Higher Power – or whatever you choose to call what you believe in – can only inspire you to make the right choices. He alone cannot do it for you. You and your partner must do the work.

Higher spiritual values give meaning and purpose to our relationships. They determine what we will turn away from and what we will move toward. Shared spiritual ideas are the basis for a lasting, fulfilling love relationship.

Putting your family next is hot! There’s nothing thrilling about wiping noses and refilling sippy cups once the children are in the picture, but it’s what you do because it’s part of being a family. It’s great to meet people who would rather enthuse their children than to bring their work home with them every night. Always respect family no matter what. Everyone can tell the difference between someone who gives you true respect and one who offers a show of fake chivalry – or no consideration at all. In todays busy world, many of us have jobs that do not allow for much free time to spend time with our family. I suggest that you make time!

“The number one need in all people is the need for acceptance, the need to experience a sense of belonging to something and someone. The need for acceptance is more powerful in your family than anywhere else.” ~ Dr. Phil McGraw

It’s important to create a sense of security and peace in your home. People who take the family seriously plan family activities together… often. They think, “we” not “me.” They never let anything stand in their way as they stumble through this crazy balancing act of pursuing your dreams while putting family first. Show me someone who is willing to truly cherish their family and I guarantee that’s where you will find happiness. Remember to put the friendship back in your relationship too. It’s important to never exclude, never abandon and never forget about our families!

“When you have a family, you represent them as well as yourself, so always present yourself in the way you want to be known and remembered as. Carry yourself with dignity and respect when you’re around your family, and continue to do the same when you’re not.” ~ Chey B

It’s great to have a spiritual and emotional connection to other human beings, but what’s even more wonderful about having love for others is letting those people know through your actions and your words that you love them. There is no better way to experience your faith than through intimate connections with other people. That’s where friends come in.

Some people when that get married stop hanging out with their friends. Now they are married, some say their single friends don’t fit into the picture. Unless your friends are bad influences, this is a bad idea. Of course you can always and will always make new friends, but it’s important to continue your relationships with some of the friends you already have.

BONUS Articles: Religion vs. Spirituality

CLoveLOGOCopyright © 2014 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

commentSubscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

letsbefriends2

Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com

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