Larry James' CelebrateLove.com BLOG

Saturday, November 8, 2014

Give Up Living Your Life to Other People’s Expectations

Filed under: Guest Authors,Happiness — Larry James @ 8:30 am
Tags: , ,

Dana Saviuc, Guest Author

Way too many people are living a life that is not theirs to live. They live their lives according to what others think is best for them, they live their lives according to what their parents think is best for them, to what their friends, their enemies and their teachers, their government and the media think is best for them.

OthersExpectationsThey ignore their inner voice, that inner calling.

They are so busy with pleasing everybody, with living up to other people’s expectations, that they lose control over their lives. They forget what makes them happy, what they want, what they need… and eventually they forget about themselves.

You have one life – this one right now – you must live it, own it, and especially don’t let other people’s opinions distract you from your path.

Larry’s Note: Read, “15 Things You Should Give Up To Be Happy” by Dana Saviuc, an enthusiastic student of the arts, economics, psychology and spirituality.

danaCopyright © 2014 – Dana Saviuc. When nobody’s watching, I pretend I’m a moon sprite; transcendent, effervescent, ever curious. Yet my birth certificate says I’m a human born in Romania. Oh well. I’m an enthusiastic student of the arts, economics, psychology and spirituality – and I take great pleasure in shining light on life’s hidden truths, the paradoxes that both stare us in the face and hide from us in unison, as they silently shape our every waking moment. Visit Dana’s Blog and her Facebook page.

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CLoveLOGOLarry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
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Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com

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Monday, December 23, 2013

How to Let Go of People Who You No Longer Need, or Want

Filed under: Letting Go — Larry James @ 7:30 am
Tags: , , , ,

Dana Saviuc, Guest Author

One of the hardest things in life is to let go of the people we love the most.

We hold on to those close to us so tightly, fearing that without them we will be nothing. Fearing that without them the love we feel in our hearts will be forever lost.

LetGO“Some birds are not meant to be caged, that’s all. Their feathers are too bright, their songs too sweet and wild. So you let them go, or when you open the cage to feed them they somehow fly out past you. And the part of you that knows it was wrong to imprison them in the first place rejoices, but still, the place where you live is that much more drab and empty for their departure.” ~ Stephen King

Our attachment interferes with the love we have for them, taking away from the purity and the beauty that love has to offer.

Deepak Chopra says it best with these words: “Love allows your beloved the freedom to be unlike you. Attachment asks for conformity to your needs and desires. Love imposes no demands. Attachment expresses an overwhelming demand – “Make me feel whole.” Love expands beyond the limits of two people. Attachment tries to exclude everything but two people.”

I have been in a relationship with my former long-time boyfriend for almost 10 years, on and off and even though our relationship became very toxic after the first 3 years, I found it impossible to let go simply because I knew that without him I would be very unhappy and the irony is that I was already very unhappy, we both were.

“No matter how much suffering you went through, you never wanted to let go of those memories.” ~ Haruki Murakami

Letting go doesn’t have to be that hard, in fact, it becomes easier and easier as we learn to accept, appreciate and love ourselves for who we are and for who we are not.

Releasing and letting go will help you return to a place of peace and tranquility.

There comes a time in our lives when we have to do what’s right and to honor not only ourselves, but also the people around us. It’s the relationship that you are letting go of but not the love you have for the other person.

If you love something, if you love someone, and if you feel that you need to let go of them, if it’s required to let go, do it. It might hurt at first but once the pain is gone you will feel more alive than you have ever felt. You will start to see things from a totally different perspective and you will understand that letting go is a sign of strength, of courage and of great love.

You let go of someone not because you no longer care, not because you no longer need and want them in your life, but because you understand that they will be happier someplace else. You will be happy someplace else.

This is what true love is all about.

Real love transcends the material plane and no matter if your bodies are apart, your souls will forever be connected.

“There is no such thing as a “broken family.” Family is family, and is not determined by marriage certificates, divorce papers, and adoption documents. Families are made in the heart. The only time family becomes null is when those ties in the heart are cut. If you cut those ties, those people are not your family. If you make those ties, those people are your family. And if you hate those ties, those people will still be your family because whatever you hate will always be with you.” ~ C. JoyBell C.

If you haven’t found a way to be at peace with yourself, and if you haven’t found a way to be happy on your own, chances are that you won’t be happy next the person you love either. You can’t expect to get from others what you yourself don’t have to offer.

Love yourself. Be good to yourself.

Change the thoughts you think and the words you speak. Purify your internal dialogue. Learn to talk to, and about, yourself in the same way you would talk to, and about, those you love the most.

Meditate. Spend time alone. Take a walk and explore nature with your senses. Write about your thoughts and feelings. Do something you’re passionate about. Go out with your friends. Laugh, dance, be silly, be weird, be playful, be childlike. Do all the things that bring you joy and laughter.

Treat yourself with kindness, love and compassion and learn to express your gratitude for the many gifts life offered you up until this moment.

More info? Click cover!

Take your focus away from those things that cause you to feel pain, stress, anxiety, fear and unhappiness, on to those things that make your heart sing, on to those things that make you happy.

This too shall pass and the more you learn to enjoy your own company, the more comfortable you will be with this idea of letting go and all of a sudden life will become a lot easier.

“Be like the forces of nature: when it blows, there is only wind; when it rains, there is only rain; when the clouds pass, the sun shines through.” ~ Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching

Let go and trust that maybe life has better plans for you. Go with the flow and not against it.

Why hold on to something good when life wants you to have something better?

“Sometimes you’ve got to let everything go – purge yourself. If you are unhappy with anything… whatever is bringing you down, get rid of it. Because you’ll find that when you’re free, your true creativity, your true self comes out.” ~ Tina Turner

Are you holding on to something or someone you need to let go of? Why? What keep you from letting go? You can share your comment by joining the conversation in the comment section below.

BONUS Articles: There is Peace in Release
The Secret of Letting Go
Letting Go!

danaCopyright © 2013 – Dana Saviuc. When nobody’s watching, I pretend I’m a moon sprite; transcendent, effervescent, ever curious. Yet my birth certificate says I’m a human born in Romania. Oh well. I’m an enthusiastic student of the arts, economics, psychology and spirituality – and I take great pleasure in shining light on life’s hidden truths, the paradoxes that both stare us in the face and hide from us in unison, as they silently shape our every waking moment. Visit Dana’s Blog and her Facebook page.

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CLoveLOGOLarry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com

Sunday, January 13, 2013

7 Things You Should Do to Make Positive Thinking Effective

Filed under: Relationships — Larry James @ 7:30 am
Tags:

Dana Saviuc, Guest Author

“We carry our past with us, to wit, the primitive and inferior man with his desires and emotions, and it is only with an enormous effort that we can detach ourselves from this burden. If it comes to a neurosis, we invariably have to deal with a considerably intensified shadow. And if such a person wants to be cured it is necessary to find a way in which his conscious personality and his shadow can live together.” ~ Carl Jung

the-power-of-positive-thinkingYesterday I wrote a post on “Why Positive Thinking Won’t Guarantee You Positive Results” and just like I promised, today I will go deeper into the topic and talk about the 7 things you should do to make positive thinking effective.

1. Ownership ~ Whenever we get angry or irritated because of something people say or do to us it is so because we project our own shadows and our own darkness on to them.

Next time something negative happens and next time you come in contact with somebody you don’t quite like or maybe hate, ask yourself these questions: What is it about this person, situation that is triggering me? What is it about them that I haven’t yet accepted in me? Do I have some hidden open wounds that they touched?

Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves. ~ Carl Jung

2. Non Resistance ~ If you feel the presence of anger in your life, let it be there, allow yourself to feel its presence but don’t allow it to define you, don’t allow you to become you!

Say to yourself: There is anger, frustration, negativity, etc. in me and I allow it to be there without making it my own. There is anger in me but I am not the anger, I am the observer of this anger.

“Nonresistance is the key to the greatest power in the universe.” ~ Eckhart Tolle

3. Acceptance ~ Accept yourself for who you are and for who you are not. Accept yourself both in the presence of positivity, progress and happiness and their absence. Accept the idea that what you dislike the most in others might be something hidden deep down within yourself, in your unconscious, something you haven’t accepted in yourself.

“The difference between my darkness and your darkness is that I can look at my own badness in the face and accept its existence while you are busy covering your mirror with a white linen sheet.” ~ C. JoyBell C.

Pogo4. Forgiveness ~ Forgive yourself for always believing that the enemy was outside yourself and never within you. Forgive yourself for projecting your own shadows on to the world and making it look cold, scary and frightening.

5. Love and compassion ~ We have to learn to love and accept not only the good, bright side of us but also our dark side. Only by loving and accepting our own darkness without judging and oppressing it, we will help heal it.

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.” ~ Martin Luther King Jr.

6. Visualization ~ Visualization is such a powerful tool that you can use to visualize the person you want to become, the life you want to live and the impact you want to have in the world.

The power of imagination is incredible. Often we see athletes achieving unbelievable results and wonder how they did it. One of the tools they use is visualization or mental imagery… they made the choice to create their destinies and visualized their achievements before they ultimately succeeded. ~George Kohlrieser

7. Detachment From the Outcome ~ Whether things will happen the way you want them to happen or not, should not matter to you that much. You now know that your happiness and your well being is not dependent on how things are on the outside but rather how things are on the inside and if you take good care of yourself and if you heal your darkness, you whole life will be healed and light will always shine on you and through you.

“Detach yourself from the opinions of others; from the habit of judging or controlling others; from the past; from the need to be right and to win; from an obsession with material things. Follow your passion in life, but detach from the outcome and allow the universe to handle the details.” ~ Dr. Wayne Dyer

Positive thinking alone does not work and only by facing our own darkness, by accepting and loving our own shadows we will be able to get the positive results from thinking all those positive thoughts.

BONUS Article: Why Positive Thinking Won’t Guarantee You Positive Results

danaCopyright © 2012 – Dana Saviuc. When nobody’s watching, I pretend I’m a moon sprite; transcendent, effervescent, ever curious. Yet my birth certificate says I’m a human born in Romania. Oh well. I’m an enthusiastic student of the arts, economics, psychology and spirituality – and I take great pleasure in shining light on life’s hidden truths, the paradoxes that both stare us in the face and hide from us in unison, as they silently shape our every waking moment. Visit Dana’s Blog and her Facebook page.

CLoveLOGOLarry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com

Thursday, August 30, 2012

15 Things You Should Give Up To Be Happy

Filed under: Guest Authors,Personal Growth — Larry James @ 7:00 am
Tags: ,

Dana Saviuc, Guest Author

Here is a list of 15 things which, if you give up on them, will make your life a lot easier and much, much happier. We hold on to so many things that cause us a great deal of pain, stress and suffering – and instead of letting them all go, instead of allowing ourselves to be stress free and happy – we cling on to them. Not anymore. Starting today we will give up on all those things that no longer serve us, and we will embrace change. Ready? Here we go:

1. Give up your need to always be right. There are so many of us who can’t stand the idea of being wrong – wanting to always be right – even at the risk of ending great relationships or causing a great deal of stress and pain, for us and for others. It’s just not worth it. Whenever you feel the ‘urgent’ need to jump into a fight over who is right and who is wrong, ask yourself this question: “Would I rather be right, or would I rather be kind?” Wayne Dyer. What difference will that make? Is your ego really that big?

puppet2. Give up your need for control. Be willing to give up your need to always control everything that happens to you and around you – situations, events, people, etc. Whether they are loved ones, coworkers, or just strangers you meet on the street – just allow them to be. Allow everything and everyone to be just as they are and you will see how much better will that make you feel.

“By letting it go it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try. The world is beyond winning.” ~ Lao Tzu

3. Give up on blame. Give up on your need to blame others for what you have or don’t have, for what you feel or don’t feel. Stop giving your powers away and start taking responsibility for your life.

4. Give up your self-defeating self-talk. Oh my. How many people are hurting themselves because of their negative, polluted and repetitive self-defeating mindset? Don’t believe everything that your mind is telling you – especially if it’s negative and self-defeating. You are better than that.

“The mind is a superb instrument if used rightly. Used wrongly, however, it becomes very destructive.” ~ Eckhart Tolle

beingwrong5. Give up your limiting beliefs about what you can or cannot do, about what is possible or impossible. From now on, you are no longer going to allow your limiting beliefs to keep you stuck in the wrong place. Spread your wings and fly!

“A belief is not an idea held by the mind, it is an idea that holds the mind.” ~ Elly Roselle

6. Give up complaining. Give up your constant need to complain about those many, many, maaany things – people, situations, events that make you unhappy, sad and depressed. Nobody can make you unhappy, no situation can make you sad or miserable unless you allow it to. It’s not the situation that triggers those feelings in you, but how you choose to look at it. Never underestimate the power of positive thinking.

7. Give up the luxury of criticism. Give up your need to criticize things, events or people that are different than you. We are all different, yet we are all the same. We all want to be happy, we all want to love and be loved and we all want to be understood. We all want something, and something is wished by us all.

8. Give up your need to impress others. Stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not just to make others like you. It doesn’t work this way. The moment you stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not, the moment you take of all your masks, the moment you accept and embrace the real you, you will find people will be drawn to you, effortlessly.

9. Give up your resistance to change. Change is good. Change will help you move from A to B. Change will help you make improvements in your life and also the lives of those around you. Follow your bliss, embrace change – don’t resist it.
“Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls” Joseph Campbell

10. Give up labels. Stop labeling those things, people or events that you don’t understand as being weird or different and try opening your mind, little by little. Minds only work when open. “The highest form of ignorance is when you reject something you don’t know anything about.” Wayne Dyer

11. Give up on your fears. Fear is just an illusion, it doesn’t exist – you created it. It’s all in your mind. Correct the inside and the outside will fall into place.
“The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself.” Franklin D. Roosevelt

excuses12. Give up your excuses. Send them packing and tell them they’re fired. You no longer need them. A lot of times we limit ourselves because of the many excuses we use. Instead of growing and working on improving ourselves and our lives, we get stuck, lying to ourselves, using all kind of excuses – excuses that 99.9% of the time are not even real.

13. Give up the past. I know, I know. It’s hard. Especially when the past looks so much better than the present and the future looks so frightening, but you have to take into consideration the fact that the present moment is all you have and all you will ever have. The past you are now longing for – the past that you are now dreaming about – was ignored by you when it was present. Stop deluding yourself. Be present in everything you do and enjoy life. After all life is a journey not a destination. Have a clear vision for the future, prepare yourself, but always be present in the now.

14. Give up attachment. This is a concept that, for most of us is so hard to grasp and I have to tell you that it was for me too, (it still is) but it’s not something impossible. You get better and better at with time and practice. The moment you detach yourself from all things, (and that doesn’t mean you give up your love for them – because love and attachment have nothing to do with one another, attachment comes from a place of fear, while love… well, real love is pure, kind, and self less, where there is love there can’t be fear, and because of that, attachment and love cannot coexist) you become so peaceful, so tolerant, so kind, and so serene. You will get to a place where you will be able to understand all things without even trying. A state beyond words.

15. Give up living your life to other people’s expectations. Way too many people are living a life that is not theirs to live. They live their lives according to what others think is best for them, they live their lives according to what their parents think is best for them, to what their friends, their enemies and their teachers, their government and the media think is best for them. They ignore their inner voice, that inner calling. They are so busy with pleasing everybody, with living up to other people’s expectations, that they lose control over their lives. They forget what makes them happy, what they want, what they need….and eventually they forget about themselves. You have one life – this one right now – you must live it, own it, and especially don’t let other people’s opinions distract you from your path.

danaCopyright © 2012 – Dana Saviuc. When nobody’s watching, I pretend I’m a moon sprite; transcendent, effervescent, ever curious. Yet my birth certificate says I’m a human born in Romania. Oh well. I’m an enthusiastic student of the arts, economics, psychology and spirituality – and I take great pleasure in shining light on life’s hidden truths, the paradoxes that both stare us in the face and hide from us in unison, as they silently shape our every waking moment. Visit Dana’s Blog and her Facebook page.

CLoveLOGOLarry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com

Sunday, July 1, 2012

The Power Of Love – Simple Ways To Live A Better Life

Filed under: Guest Authors,Letting Go,Love,Video — Larry James @ 7:00 am
Tags:

Dana Saviuc, Guest Author

“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” ~ Buddha

iLoveYouKnow yourself, accept yourself, appreciate and love yourself for there is no greater gift you can give to yourself than the gift of love, the gift of self love. It may not be always easy but it’s worth your time, it’s worth your energy and it’s definitely worth your effort for that is how you’ll discover how to be happy, that is how you’ll discover what real happiness is all about and that is how you’ll discover really simple and powerful ways to live a better life. This is what I call the power of love, the power of self love and this power is available to you for as long as you’ll live. Make good use of it and don’t let it go to waste.

I will now step back in order for you to enjoy the beauty and the transformational power of these magical, inspiring and empowering words. Enjoy!

“Be sincere with yourself but not harsh,

Acknowledge your feelings in their depth

But also soothe them with the kind touch of compassion

Start your day with gratitude and bless it wholeheartedly,

And at night sink into your being peaceful and relaxed,

Deep within lies a solution to any situation

Walk through life with your head high, but without arrogance,

You are unique but so is everyone else,

There is no high or low

Discover your song, it has been written only for you

And encourage others to hear theirs too,

Your melody is sublime to your heart and when you hear it,

You will also love the songs that others sings

Hurt none wilfully, whether human, animal or plant,

Just as you do they all feel the same pain

And they all aspire to the same happiness

Listen to all and appreciate their advice

But remember that ultimately your heart will guide you

Your heart in harmony with your mind and body is your teacher

And saviour so endeavour to keep it free of dust,

No need to harbour enmity: it will only hurt you in the long run,

If someone has hurt you acknowledge the pain, but, friend remember,

That we are all capable to inflict pain

So forgive if you want to be forgiven

Say no when required, change location if you no longer belong there,

But, when you move on carry with you above all the memory of the love that once was,

If you choose to remember only the hurt,

It will weigh you down and make your new path ever so tiresome

The atoms that make your body are of the same nature of every creation in the universe.

They dance like light waves in infinite empty space,

They are like love without frontiers.

Let your mind be like that empty space,

Serene and unburdened by stagnant memories

And let your heart shine like joyful waves of light

Reaching the whole universe and beyond, beyond, beyond.“

Larry’s Note: Watch the video which is the source of these wonderful words:

the_power_of_love_by_jackcomstock-d3eq5ocdanaCopyright © 2012 – Dana Saviuc. When nobody’s watching, I pretend I’m a moon sprite; transcendent, effervescent, ever curious. Yet my birth certificate says I’m a human born in Romania. Oh well. I’m an enthusiastic student of the arts, economics, psychology and spirituality – and I take great pleasure in shining light on life’s hidden truths, the paradoxes that both stare us in the face and hide from us in unison, as they silently shape our every waking moment. Visit Dana’s Blog and her Facebook page.

CLoveLOGOLarry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

letsbefriends2

Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com

Friday, June 15, 2012

Stop Wasting Time!

Filed under: Procrastination — Larry James @ 7:00 am
Tags: ,

It’s funny how for many of us tomorrow looks better than today for getting things done. For doing the things we know must be done. We put off those things that are so important for us and we lie to ourselves by saying that we will do them later, we will do them tomorrow or the day after tomorrow.

Stop fooling around, it is your life that you’re playing with, your future and the future of the people you love.

It’s time to stop putting off until tomorrow what you know you need to do TODAY!

Q&AHave a little Q & A with you! The first question, “What is holding you back?” Give yourself honest answers.

Relationships are passing you by. Time is not on your side. It keeps ticking away regardless of your attitude toward it. If you love someone… tell them. If you’re not quite sure whether you love you… that’s something to work on too. You know what you need to do, so do it.

Your excuses don’t work anymore. Give them up.

?happyfaceI don’t know what it is that you need to do… but you do. Don’t say you don’t know. “I don’t know” is not the right answer.

It’s most likely what you are thinking about right now as you read this.

STOP! What was that thought? Maybe that’s it!

“Take the first step in faith. You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.” ~ Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

You may want to begin by standing alone in front of a mirror, looking at yourself and having a gut level discussion with yourself about what causes you to postpone getting to the good things in your life. Perhaps doing this is something you should have done long ago.

I’ve had that discussion with me several times in my life and each time, what follows is a breakthrough. Are you really ready for a breakthrough or are you afraid of that too?

Don’t be afraid anymore. Fear begone! Fear won’t get you anywhere. You have to take the first step while you are still afraid.

Trust your intuition for a change. Some say that intuition is the voice of God. I say, “It’s time to start listening to it.” It’s that inner knowing. Your intuition is always right, you know.

intutionStop and think! What the hell is he talking about? Don’t pretend you don’t know. It’s that thing you know you should do but haven’t had the guts to do.

Dale Carnegie one said, “Do the think you fear to do the most and the death of fear is certain.”

You deserve the best whether you believe it or not.

Stop wasting time. Get busy. Time is passing you by.

Be brave. It’s time. It could be – “now or never.” Never is rarely ever a good option. Now works best.

Still don’t know what the hell I’m talking about? That’s okay for right now. Your mission, if you choose to accept it, is to take some time to think about what it might be. If you discover that it’s more than one thing – prioritize!

Once you’ve got it – make some new, wise choices and keep moving forward.

Larry’s Note: These thoughts were inspired by the writings of Dana Saviuc.

DoItCLoveLOGOCopyright © 2012 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Wednesday, May 30, 2012

15 Things You Should Give Up To Be Happy

Filed under: Expectations,Guest Authors,Happiness,Personal Growth — Larry James @ 7:00 am
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Dana Saviuc, Guest Author

Here is a list of 15 things which, if you give up on them, will make your life a lot easier and much, much happier. We hold on to so many things that cause us a great deal of pain, stress and suffering – and instead of letting them all go, instead of allowing ourselves to be stress free and happy – we cling on to them. Not anymore. Starting today we will give up on all those things that no longer serve us, and we will embrace change. Ready? Here we go:

Let-Go1. Give up your need to always be right. There are so many of us who can’t stand the idea of being wrong – wanting to always be right – even at the risk of ending great relationships or causing a great deal of stress and pain, for us and for others. It’s just not worth it. Whenever you feel the ‘urgent’ need to jump into a fight over who is right and who is wrong, ask yourself this question: “Would I rather be right, or would I rather be kind?” Wayne Dyer. What difference will that make? Is your ego really that big?

2. Give up your need for control. Be willing to give up your need to always control everything that happens to you and around you – situations, events, people, etc. Whether they are loved ones, coworkers, or just strangers you meet on the street – just allow them to be. Allow everything and everyone to be just as they are and you will see how much better will that make you feel.

“By letting it go it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try. The world is beyond winning.” – Lao Tzu

3. Give up on blame. Give up on your need to blame others for what you have or don’t have, for what you feel or don’t feel. Stop giving your powers away and start taking responsibility for your life.

4. Give up your self-defeating self-talk. Oh my. How many people are hurting themselves because of their negative, polluted and repetitive self-defeating mindset? Don’t believe everything that your mind is telling you – especially if it’s negative and self-defeating. You are better than that.

“The mind is a superb instrument if used rightly. Used wrongly, however, it becomes very destructive.” – Eckhart Tolle

5. Give up your limiting beliefs about what you can or cannot do, about what is possible or impossible. From now on, you are no longer going to allow your limiting beliefs to keep you stuck in the wrong place. Spread your wings and fly!

“A belief is not an idea held by the mind, it is an idea that holds the mind.” – Elly Roselle

6. Give up complaining. Give up your constant need to complain about those many, many, maaany things – people, situations, events that make you unhappy, sad and depressed. Nobody can make you unhappy, no situation can make you sad or miserable unless you allow it to. It’s not the situation that triggers those feelings in you, but how you choose to look at it. Never underestimate the power of positive thinking.

7. Give up the luxury of criticism. Give up your need to criticize things, events or people that are different than you. We are all different, yet we are all the same. We all want to be happy, we all want to love and be loved and we all want to be understood. We all want something, and something is wished by us all.

8. Give up your need to impress others. Stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not just to make others like you. It doesn’t work this way. The moment you stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not, the moment you take off all your masks, the moment you accept and embrace the real you, you will find people will be drawn to you, effortlessly.

campbell9. Give up your resistance to change. Change is good. Change will help you move from A to B. Change will help you make improvements in your life and also the lives of those around you. Follow your bliss, embrace change – don’t resist it.

10. Give up labels. Stop labeling those things, people or events that you don’t understand as being weird or different and try opening your mind, little by little. Minds only work when open. “The highest form of ignorance is when you reject something you don’t know anything about.” Wayne Dyer

11. Give up on your fears. Fear is just an illusion, it doesn’t exist – you created it. It’s all in your mind. Correct the inside and the outside will fall into place.

“The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself.” – Franklin D. Roosevelt

12. Give up your excuses. Send them packing and tell them they’re fired. You no longer need them. A lot of times we limit ourselves because of the many excuses we use. Instead of growing and working on improving ourselves and our lives, we get stuck, lying to ourselves, using all kind of excuses – excuses that 99.9% of the time are not even real.

13. Give up the past. I know, I know. It’s hard. Especially when the past looks so much better than the present and the future looks so frightening, but you have to take into consideration the fact that the present moment is all you have and all you will ever have. The past you are now longing for – the past that you are now dreaming about – was ignored by you when it was present. Stop deluding yourself. Be present in everything you do and enjoy life. After all life is a journey not a destination. Have a clear vision for the future, prepare yourself, but always be present in the now.

attachExpect14. Give up attachment. This is a concept that, for most of us is so hard to grasp and I have to tell you that it was for me too, (it still is) but it’s not something impossible. You get better and better at with time and practice. The moment you detach yourself from all things, (and that doesn’t mean you give up your love for them – because love and attachment have nothing to do with one another, attachment comes from a place of fear, while love… well, real love is pure, kind, and self less, where there is love there can’t be fear, and because of that, attachment and love cannot coexist) you become so peaceful, so tolerant, so kind, and so serene. You will get to a place where you will be able to understand all things without even trying. A state beyond words.

15. Give up living your life to other people’s expectations. Way too many people are living a life that is not theirs to live. They live their lives according to what others think is best for them, they live their lives according to what their parents think is best for them, to what their friends, their enemies and their teachers, their government and the media think is best for them.

They ignore their inner voice, that inner calling. They are so busy with pleasing everybody, with living up to other people’s expectations, that they lose control over their lives. They forget what makes them happy, what they want, what they need….and eventually they forget about themselves. You have one life – this one right now – you must live it, own it, and especially don’t let other people’s opinions distract you from your path.

danaCopyright © 2012 – Dana Saviuc. When nobody’s watching, I pretend I’m a moon sprite; transcendent, effervescent, ever curious. Yet my birth certificate says I’m a human born in Romania. Oh well. I’m an enthusiastic student of the arts, economics, psychology and spirituality – and I take great pleasure in shining light on life’s hidden truths, the paradoxes that both stare us in the face and hide from us in unison, as they silently shape our every waking moment. Visit Dana’s Blog and her Facebook page.

CLoveLOGOLarry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com

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