Larry James' CelebrateLove.com BLOG

Wednesday, September 16, 2015

30-Day Relationship Challenge

REL-30-Day

Spice up your relationship with this 30-day challenge. There are hundreds of ways to do this. It’s important to keep romance alive. The list below will get you started. Once you have finished this 30-day challenge, make one of your own and keep the romance going on and on, and on, and on. Never stop doing the things that brought you together in the first place.

30DayRelationshipChallenge

BONUS Articles: Make Everyday a FUNday!
“How Do I Love Thee? Let Me Count the Ways…,”
Romantic Ideas to Make it Valentine’s Day All Year Long!
Celebrate Love at Your Very Own “Wonderama!”

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CLoveLOGOLarry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

the-archives2Click for Archives! ~ commentSubscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
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Sunday, January 11, 2015

Make Everyday a FUNday!

Are you just going through the routines of marriage without really enjoying the journey? It’s time to sample the flavor of FUN! You lose your sparkle when you don’t allow yourself to have fun. Do something ridiculously fun – look, if you’re not happy today, the fastest way to cure that is to just go have fun. Don’t feel guilty. Don’t make excuses. When was the last time you kicked back and had an awesome time? Most couples know their marriages are happier when they make time to have fun. It’s time to put more fun in your marriage or relationship.

Virtually every couple wants to keep their romance alive and fresh with fun things to do with one another. However, as life gets busy, fun seems to be one of the first thing to disappear. Never stop doing the things that brought you together in the first place!

FUNdaysNo matter how hard you work, or how much stress you have on your plate, make sure to do something fun every day. Make time for fun. Fun brings on happiness.

Everyone I know is busy, but we should make sure our schedule never gets so crowded that we cannot enjoy time with the love of our life. Many couples plan their fun for the weekends. That’s great. As a couple how do you avoid the struggles of the daily grind? Quick answer: Be passionate about having FUN! Whatever activity you choose, keep in mind that the main objective is to have fun.

Ruts are normal. Nearly all couples face them at one time or another, explains Alisa Bowman, author of Project: Happily Ever After. Most of us don’t evaluate or even notice when our other relationships – friendships, siblings, parents – get into ruts, but we constantly evaluate the health of our romantic relationships. “It’s important to notice a rut, because it’s often the first symptom that you are growing apart,” Bowman says. “But ruts are not terminal, and they can actually be quickly overcome.” Kiss hello before doing anything else when you get home. Kiss good-bye when you leave. Stay out of a rut by having more fun!

Be an everyday FUN activist! Laugh together. Lighten up. Tease each other. It will give the relationship you have with yourself and your partner a big boost.

“We don’t quit playing because we grow older, we grow older because we quit playing.” ~ Oliver Wendell Holmes

Life gets busy and it can be hard to find time together, much less finding time to try new things. If the romance has faded, add both mystery and surprise because they mimic the emotional state of a new romance. I repeat – Never stop doing the things that brought you together in the first place!

To be consistent in doing this, you must make a commitment to you – set a goal to do so. Write your commitment down and pin it somewhere that has you notice it everyday. This will add new dimension, excitement and texture to your relationship.

Be creative in doing this. I’m a big list person and I recommend that you begin making a list. Let your mind run wild. Not just things that might be fun as you navigate through your crazy daily routine but things that you take the time to plan. Create a big vision of fun things to do together. If you haven’t been planning a little fun during your regular “daze” this could be a challenge and take a high degree of intention.

It helps to prioritize your marriage. Plan a weekly date together where the focus is to have fun and enjoy each other’s company. When you first began dating, you likely had many opportunities to fully enjoy each other’s company. We suggest you recreate those possibilities no matter how long you have been together. It’s a fact that couples who anticipate and participate in “exciting” date nights showed a significantly greater increase in marital satisfaction.

Make sure some of your fun include some laughter. Gentle pranks are always fun, but don’t get carried away. Safe is better than sorry.

LoveYourKids2Place an unexpected phone call to your sweetheart just to say, “I love you,” or “I was just thinking about you.” Learn to say “I Love You” in different languages and say it when they least expect it. Those three words never get old.

Create a “Bucket List” of fun things to do! Brainstorm together. Try for 100 new ideas. Stretch yourself. Focus on fun. Make plans to do something so you can look forward to it. Anticipate. Children are basically happy when they are having fun and looking forward to more fun. Be a kid again.

“Couples who know how to play and have fun together develop a bonding that can carry them through the most difficult of times,” writes Dr. Steve Stephens in his book, ‘Blueprints for a Solid Marriage.’ “When people get older and when they’ve been married longer, they just become boring,” Stephens says. “It’s not that they mean to get boring, it’s just that they haven’t intentionally figured out what would be something fun to do.”

Do yourself a favor. If you have children, allow them to see the two of you having fun. Occasionally make them a part of your funday. Family activities can show children how the parents react with each other. By the way, it’s okay to plan for alone time fun with each other as long as you plan some family fun time too. Loan out the kids. When you and your spouse do want a night alone, you can turn to your friends for your babysitting needs. Then, when they want a night out, you can offer to do the same for them.

Never allow yourself get so caught up in what you do day to day that you forget to have a little fun each and every day. Remember: It takes two people – both totally committed to making the marriage great.

It takes work to reignite the passion in your relationship. So next time you plan a fun date night, think about the elements of newness, novelty and the element of surprise. It’s important to spend quality time with the people you love and cherish. Marriage is supposed to be fun! Allow your marriage to soar!

How do you keep the fun in your marriage or relationship?

By the way… it is also wise to devote a few moments each day to yourself.

Let the fun begin!

BONUS Articles: Fun Things to do as a Couple
Kidding Around With Romance
50 Creative, Cheap Ways to Have Fun
Great Date Ideas

CLoveLOGOCopyright © 2015 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

commentSubscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
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Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com
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Thursday, October 24, 2013

100 Ways to Make Your Marriage Rock

Filed under: Romantic Tips! — Larry James @ 7:30 am
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There are many things that a couple can do to keep the fire of love burning. I encourage you to choose a couple of ideas from the list below and put some new ones into use each week.

This list appeared on Facebook and the author is unknown. To make this list a little more interesting, I have added an occasional link that opens in another browser window. Each link will lead to another article on the topic on the list. Some links have more than one article, so be sure to scroll down. Enjoy! If you do, “SHARE” this list with your friends.

1. Write each other love notes
2. Go on regular date nights
3. Write his name on lipstick on the bathroom mirror
4. Revitalize the romance with intimate dates
5. Pray together
Jumpingonthebed6. Hide notes in secret places
7. Go to bed at the same time
8. Listen to music together-share earbuds
9. Send him on a scavenger hunt in the house
10. Buy him gifts he will love
11. Hide a treat in his glovebox or desk at work
12. Read the Bible together
13. Wear shirts that tell the world you love your spouse
14. Praise your spouse to other people
15. Let them overhear you
16. Read a marriage devotional
17. Porn-proof your home
18. Be best friends
19. Sleep in his t-shirts
20. Look to him to make the big decisions
21. Let her make the small ones
22. Don’t nag him
23. Put the seat down, pick up your socks for her
24. Renew your vows privately with whispers and memories
25. Renew them publicly with cake and bubbly
26. Fight naked
27. Tell him you like him
28. Receive his compliments
29. Pick your battles
30. Show her you love her and tell him you respect him
31. Go away together at least once a year
32. Frame your wedding vows (or call Larry James to preform a “Renewal of Vows” ceremony)
33. Her: Read For Women Only
34. Hang pictures of the two of you around your house
35. Kiss in front of your kids
36. Make his favorite dessert
37. Have pictures of just the two of you made
38. Make sex a priority
39. Spend time apart occasionally
40. Learn to enjoy something he loves
41. Surprise each other
42. Meet him at the door
43. Dreamstorm
44. Text each other from across the room
45. Be accountable to each other
46. Set reminders on your phone to remember him/her throughout the week
47. Call him right now and tell him you appreciate him
48. Be affectionate
49. Hug more
50. Leave work and come home early
51. Wash, vacuum her car. Keep it full of gas.
52. Give each other romantic coupons
53. Engage every day in meaningful conversation
54. Compliment each other
HotLips55. Touch your spouse several times throughout the day
56. Take one day a month to make your spouse your total focus
57. Let each other sleep in
58. Be spontaneous!
59. Argue fair: avoid these words “you always” and “you never”
60. Kiss every day
61. Find tangible ways to serve your mate without complaining
62. Forgive quickly
63. Be honest.
64. But not hurtful
65. Get on the same page: plan your budget together
66. Look your best as often as you can
67. Guard your marriage
68. Get out of debt (and stay out)
69. Laugh together
70. Have a date night in
71. When you’re together – BE TOGETHER (take a break from phones, technology, etc)
72. Talk about your favorite memories together
73. Tell him he’s sexy just because
74. Tell her she’s pretty, especially when she’s not feeling it
75. Make him breakfast in bed
76. Do her chores for her
77. Get a couple’s massage or host your own privately
78. Read a book out loud together
79. Dance together-soft music (alone) or rocking music with the kids
80. Bring her/him a favorite drink during the middle of the day
81. Exercise together-hikes, bike riding, etc
82. Choose not to be annoyed by an irritating behavior/disappointment
83. Tell him a secret he doesn’t know about you
84. Thank your spouse just because, often
85. Sit on the same side of a booth at a restaurant
86. Lay in bed together and stare into each other eyes, without talking
87. Learn something new together – take an art class, cooking lessons, etc
88. Leave a sweet comment on the Facebook wall
89. Teach your kids about marriage
90. Stop what you’re doing, look them in the eye and listen to their answer
91. Create art together
92. Support each other’s goals
93. Know when to talk and when to hush
94. Consider counseling
95. Truly listen
96. Bring her flowers (even when she says they are too expensive)
97. Wear something he loves
98. Share furniture – sit in his lap
99. FIGHT FOR YOUR MARRIAGE
100. Remember your spouse rocks – even when they don’t

Larry’s Note: A special “Thank you!” to Scott Ford for calling this to my attention. Author is unknown.

CLoveLOGOCopyright © 2013 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com

Sunday, June 2, 2013

Renew the “Contact” in Your Relationship

Barbara Joyce Peters, Guest Author

Does it sound a little odd to you to think of a relationship like a contact sport? Yet it is very exciting to touch and be touched.

Couples desire touch. They want it, crave it, and need it, but many times just don’t have it.

Teenage Couple Touching HandsTouch dissipates in many relationships, and this is sad for couples. But when asked, they do say that things used to be very hot in the beginning! How did they become distant physically? Touch is necessary to humans. For example, Dr. Paul Brand, a pioneer in the field of healing through touch, writes: “Skin cells offer a direct path into the deep reservoir of emotion we metaphorically call the human heart.” Whew, that’s something to think about!

Nurses often remark how babies in intensive care units respond to touch. A baby moves affirmatively to a parent’s finger grazing over the tiny body. Just a gentle stroke offers the physical connection of human to human, the connection so needed for survival. Research studies show babies need touch to thrive—as do we all.

If your relationship seems to lack this connection, think about the time in your relationship when casual physical touch quickly led to intensely romantic moments. It can happen again!

Try just holding hands when you talk together. This simple gesture adds so much to the communication that you share when you talk. Especially when you must solve serious problems, it helps to hold hands while you discuss your feelings. It becomes easier this way to reach compromise and resolution.

Want to rekindle your fire? Here are a few suggestions:

• Tell each other how you like to be touched. You can even show your partner how.
• When your partner turns around (not facing you), gently touch your partner’s shoulder, or encircle your arms around your partner’s waist.
• Be generous with your embraces. Research shows that four to eight hugs given over a day will increase bonding and connection between couples.
• Don’t be shy. As soon as you know how your partner likes to be touched, try it!

Remember this song from Lennon and McCartney: “I want to hold your hand! And when I touch you, I feel happy inside, it’s just a feeling that, my love, I can’t hide.”

Wouldn’t we all love to feel this way?

BONUS Articles: How To Keep Your Love Alive
Ways to Relight the Flame of Love
Need Some Romantic Ideas?
Plan Some Romantic Rituals for Your Relationship!

BarbaraPetersCopyright © 2013 – Barbara Peters. Barbara Peters is a gifted communicator with a laser beam ability to cut through the tangle of personal drama to get results and relationships that last a lifetime. As a Licensed Professional Counselor, her counseling style is interactive, respectful, non-judgmental, and supportive. In her first book, “The Gift of A Lifetime: Building a Marriage that Lasts,” Barbara lends insight from her years of experience as a couples’ counselor to give people those essential tools and guide them on successfully using them. Visit Barbara’s Blog. She is also a contributor to The Life Change Network.

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CLoveLOGOLarry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com

Saturday, December 8, 2012

De-Stress… Don’t Think!

Filed under: Listening,Romantic Tips! — Larry James @ 8:30 am
Tags: , ,

How long has it been since you put on a good pair of headphones, dialed up some smooth jazz (any music without words will do) and just listened to the music?

IheartMUSICOr is music something that just plays in the background? You know it’s there because every once in a while your thoughts get tired and they stop working just long enough for you to notice the music – that doesn’t last long either – then it’s back to doing the laundry, taking the car to get gas, or as some people call it, “The same boring job.”

Something you must know about me is that I love jazz, all kinds, and one evening I decided to watch something that I had recorded on my DVR and in my headphones I heard some very energizing smooth jazz show up. My TV starts up with Music Choice. It was a catchy tune so I decided to let it stay on and as soon as it was over I’d watch a movie.

I have always had a good ear for music. I took piano lesson from 5 to 10 years old and my teacher died of cancer. That was the first time that someone I liked very much died. I never took another lesson. My dad taught me 4 chords on his guitar and after hours of practice, my sister, Jean and I placed second in a local talent show. We ended up singing on a weekly local radio program. We were known as Larry and Jeannie.

I played cornet in the high school band until my asthma got the best of me. I switched to snare drums. I had two semesters of “Music Appreciation” while in high school. When I was in the Navy I was in the drum and bugle corp. Practice got me out of nearly all inspections because we practiced while the other sailors had to shine their shoes and look impeccable.

I was stationed in Adak, Alaska for 18 months – by choice, I might add – and volunteered to be a late night DeeJay on AFRS (Armed Services Radio). After the Navy my very first job was at a radio station that was just going on the air. That was in a tiny town called Irvine, Kentucky. I was the very first voice on the air. I stayed in radio broadcasting for a little more than twelve years.

Got the point? Music has always been an important part of my life although I still can’t play the piano, or guitar, or cornet. or drums. 😉

I LOVE jazz! However, it usually is just music in the background while I work. I rarely ever sit down with the intention of just listening to one of the nearly 600 jazz CDs I have. Tonight, I never got around to watching a movie. I settled into my recliner as I thought, “I have so many things I Want to do and so little time.” Even though I was trying to concentrate and relax and just listen to the music my mind took side trips. This time I noticed side trips were happening. It’s easier to just let your mind wander from thought to thought than to know that you need to take a break and just de-stress.

With the music still in my ears I began to wonder if I could actually “listen” to the music and only the music and not have my mind trying to interrupt again and again. I began by taking a few deep breaths (do that now – feels good, right?).

I began focusing on one particular instrument in the band, then another. Deciding to do that kept my interest in the music. For about the first 15 minutes my thoughts would not let me focus totally on the music. I once caught my self thinking, “I really ought to check my e-mail or check in at Facebook.” Another time, I realized that my feet were keeping time with the music. As I kept trying… I got totally into the music. I was beginning to really relax and truly enjoy the music.

All I was thinking about was the music that was causing me to think less about anything else. Everything was okay, until I thought that. 😉 I was really enjoying the music, hearing all the notes, following the drums, then the sax, noting the percussionist, etc. That went on for about 2 hours. In the end I was so relaxed and feeling stress-free that I was beginning to get drowsy. Started to go straight to bed, but instead, here I am putting my thoughts about the experience into words thinking they might help you de-stress.

For me it was a great process that made me stop tapping my feet, thinking about the stack of files on my desk and in the end, I was relaxed and inspired and darn near ready to hit the sack!

When you are feeling stressed your mind goes a little wacky – it’s just a big bundle of thoughts, each trying to get or keep your attention. When I made my self focus on the music, I had a feeling of being in control again. It felt good. Why not try it?

Set aside a time when you know you won’t be interrupted – turn off your cell (and your computer), sit back, put some of your favorite music without words on (words distract you), and prepare to exercise the discipline to not think… just listen, until the practice of being totally aware and present spreads to all areas of your body. I saw this as a musical form of meditation. This process helps you perform tasks more skilfully, makes you emotionally resilient, guides your spiritual paths and improves your relationships. Why wouldn’t you want that?

One more thing. I said all that to say this, “effective listening” is a prerequisite to having a healthy love relationship.

BONUS Article: I’ve Got a Secret! – Wanna Know What it is?

CLoveLOGOCopyright © 2012 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com

Sunday, October 21, 2012

What it Takes to Be a Power Couple!

Filed under: Great Advice!,Relationships,Romantic Tips! — Larry James @ 9:00 am
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I said, “power” couple, not powerful couple! There is a difference. Powerful couples would be Melinda and Bill Gates, Superman and Wonder Woman or Hillary and Bill Clinton.

To me a power couple are people who are willing to totally put aside their differences and have a commitment to do “whatever it takes” to make their relationship something they can both be excited to be in. Here are a few ideas – a short list – that you can plug into your relationship to help you move toward being a power couple. Here is what power couples do:

happilyEverAfter• They create a safe place to talk about difficult things.

• They are aware of and respect the “needs” of their partner.

• They consistently do things together that helps revitalize their relationship.

• They look for creative ways to express love to each other.

• In difficult times they take “time outs” to think before they come together again to find mutually agreeable solutions. They bite their tongues rather than say something they will regret later. They resist raising their voices and see no need to be harsh with one another.

• They innovate to be prepared for what comes next.

* They walk hand-in-hand and often kiss in public.

• They keep romance alive by sending love notes and romantic greeting cards for no reason other than they love each other.

• They help each other with household chores and often volunteer to do things for their partner they know their partner doesn’t like to do.

• They make time for a date night at least once each week and take turns planning something romantic.

• Before they take on the morning, they take a few moments to express love, kiss goodbye and wish each other a productive day.

• They practice random acts of romance.

• They study relationships by sharing great relationship books and attend relationship seminars together. They hire a relationship coach when things get sideways.

ANSlove• They make love often, sometimes when one partner would rather not. Their creativity in the bedroom relights the fire each time they come together.

• They muster courage to talk about things that matter that they know might ruffle some feathers and do it in a loving way.

• They fight fair and avoid total blowouts.

• They redefine their relationship to keep it fresh and exciting, knowing that any change can be positive if you find the tools and skills you need. They know that it takes two!

• They talk “nice” to each other and never talk down to each other of call each other names! NEVER!

• They avoid the fatality of inaction and agree to do what needs to be done when it needs to be done.

The real romance exists in making each other better human beings for each other. They also know that there is power in working together in every way. It’s no coincidence that these people find solace in one another. It takes lot of love to be a power couple. You must be committed to each other. You both must have the determination to be together no matter what. You each have to be willing to give up being right and work together with the thought that you are better together as a couple than you would be alone. They each enhance the happiness of the other.

They share a long-term vision of the future, shared dreams, and plans that represent a commitment to one another They are not only great lovers… they are each others best friend!

CLoveLOGOCopyright © 2012 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Together You Can!

Filed under: Communication,Have FUN Together,Romantic Tips! — Larry James @ 7:00 am
Tags: ,

A relationship with someone else can never be a singular effort. It takes two. Of course you know that. If you are in a relationship, how many times have you fell like you were the only one doing anything to make the relationship work? A lopsided relationship can be a tremendous drain on both partners.

notworkingYou probably also know that one cannot do the work of two. You’ve already gone through the dating process where you did everything as close to “right” as possible to impress your partner. You put your best foot forward. Hmmm. Was that best foot forward of your partner connected to the real person you ended up with. Some of my coaching clients don’t think so.

To have a world class relationship you must be willing to get back to the basics. Are you in? A great relationship is always within your reach. Will you recommit? Together, you can make it work.

How about starting the dating process all over again with your partner. Pretend you just met and don’t know any of the things that annoy you about your partner. It’s not easy and it’s worth it. It will keep your curiosity fired up. Be spontaneous. Develop the vibe that you are willing to have fun with your partner at any given moment. Reconnect with your playful side. Be funny with each other. Laugh. Giggle. Shout for joy! Keep romance alive. Focus on having fun together.

If you really love each other and believe in the relationship and if you are both committed to it you must periodically diagnose it before the symptoms of neglect appear. Take the long view. Imagine a future together where you work together to consistently monitor the relationship’s vital signs. It demonstrates mutual respect and that you are not just along for the ride but for the long haul. Working together builds momentum and generates a new kind of energy.

The discipline to this kind of commitment promotes togetherness. It’s not about individuals. You are partners. Act like it. You must be collaborators; working together. Stay deeply involved with each other. Work with a spirit of investigation into how you can make things continually be better. Work together to get your financial obligations in order. Couples often have disagreements about $$$’s. It will challenge you both to be the best you can be for each other. The importance of what you accomplish together can be celebrated for years to come.

coupleTrue love doesn’t have a happy ending, because true love never ends. Letting go of being right is one way of saying, “I love you.”

Express lots of love. Don’t let anything get in your way. Stay on course. Make an agreement to call each other on their stuff, obviously in the most loving way you can. If one of you begins to drift instead of paying attention to the relationship an agreement gives you permission to say so. Communicate. Remember to be kind. Be sensitive to your partner’s feelings however always feel free to express how “you” feel.

Be part of the solution, not part of the problem. Compromise works. Exercise your good judgement to do what’s right. AND you must be willing to give up being right. Stop taking each other for granted. Relationships are an investment. Make sure you are both making significant contributions.

Become the hottest attraction in your relationship. Determine to keep it hot and sticky. The kind of sticky that holds you together… no matter what. Make time for sex as well. Putting the energy into this aspect of your relationship will pay dividends in the other aspects of your relationship. There are enormous benefits to bonding in this way. Good relationships improve all areas of your life, strengthening your health, your mind, and your connections with others.

Here is a good idea. Make a list of “lessons learned” as you traverse this re-dating process – a kind of a journal of your progress. If you have children, you may want to pass this list along to them when they need to know.

Happily ever after is possible. Couples that work together on their relationship, usually stay together. Together you can!

heart2heartCLoveLOGOCopyright © 2012 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com

Sunday, August 26, 2012

Romance in a Jar…

Filed under: Have FUN Together,Having FUN,Relationships,Romantic Tips! — Larry James @ 7:00 am
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Here is an idea that will keep your relationship from becoming stale and boring. So many couples that call me for relationship coaching have gotten away from doing the things that brought them together in the first place. Many claim that the romance has faded; that there just isn’t the excitement there once was.

coupleasleepOften as a relationship matures, some couples tend to trade that intense feeling of first being together for contentment and security. The utter sameness of the day-in, day-out togetherness can sometimes make you want to run for the hills. You come home from work, eat dinner and watch TV (sometimes falling asleep on the couch), go to bed, wake up and start all over again. Somehow it becomes a habit. Nothing new happening, just the same old thing over and over. Is this the marital bliss you were seeking? How exciting is that?

Some couples become unhappy and start fantasizing about new relationships that might have more to offer. Bad idea! Scratch that thought!

If your relationship isn’t working quite like you would like it to it can be a tremendous drain. Relationships are an investment. The more you put in, the more you can get back. If your relationship is stuck in peaceful coexistence, but not much else going on and you’re not truly relating to each other and working together – it’s time to do something different.

Part of the fun of being together is about doing fun things together; being a little daring and being spontaneous like you were when you first met. Just because you’ve been together a long time doesn’t mean you can’t still have fun being in the relationship. How can you make sure your relationship continues to thrive?

FUNjarIf the sparkle has dimmed or if you are lacking in the romance department here is a great idea. First, find a jar. You and your partner sit down some evening and each come up with at least 15 romantic and fun things to do together. Write each one on a separate note and put them all in a jar. Make it a point to add fun things to the jar whenever you come up with a new idea.

One couple I know called it their “Relationship TIP Jar.” They described it as the “anticipation of the unexpected.” It helps add that element of “new” to your life together.

When you are looking for something to do together, open the jar and randomly select one of the notes and immediately make plans to do it. If you had a great time doing it, put the note back into the jar and shake the jar to keep your next selection new and exciting each time. It’s fun to discover new and exciting things to do together.

OR… begin each year with an empty jar and fill it with notes about good things that you did together in the past. It then becomes a visible time-capsule of fun things that you can do when you need something to do. You can add fun things to do together that didn’t originally come from the jar as you discover new stuff to do. That’s one way to keep the fun and excitement in your relationship.

couplemassageYou could even start a jar of your own that helps you remember to do special things for your partner, like popping into her office to take her out for lunch or just stop by to say hello. You can come up with some of your own ideas and occasionally drop them into the jar.

The novelty of this idea helps you and your partner create new memories and feel more like a team as you try something new. It will help you stay involved with each other. Trying new things with your partner can help prevent boredom, make you feel closer to your partner, happier with your relationship, and more satisfied with life in general. Happy and healthy relationships take a lot of work. You must continue to come up with new things to do that deepen the connection you have with each other.

These are just a few great ideas for making your relationship more special, more loving and more fun.

Now that you’ve found that special someone, always continue searching for something new to converse about and keep that initial feeling alive for the years ahead. This search will continue to revitalize your love and your life together will look a little brighter.

If you are truly committed to making your relationship strong and healthy, with a bit of creativity and effort on the part of both partners, romance can become second nature to both of you.

BONUS Articles: Several articles about having fun together! Several more articles about fun!

heartCLoveLOGOCopyright © 2012 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

How To Keep Your Love Alive

Filed under: Romance,Romantic Tips! — Larry James @ 7:00 am
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Liz Cross, Guest Author

If someone asks you how your relationship is, do you say you think it’s pretty good? That nothing is wrong, but maybe it’s just a little bit boring or stagnant from time to time?

Good, healthy relationships go through times of adjustment, some boredom and even a little bit of negativity from time to time. As human beings we tend to stick to our routines, but sometimes that routine really feels like a rut.

couplesactivitiesThe morning and nighttime routines seem to be the same thing over and over. The conversation at the dinner table may be dull and boring, and sex has even become a bit more of an obligation than it is fun.

When things get boring you tend to say nothing because you don’t want to stir things up. But the truth is that keeping silent about it can be dangerous. Couples need stimulation and if your relationship is not stimulating you may find yourself seeking fun and excitement somewhere else. This can do nothing but damage your relationship.

Below are some great ways to keep your love fresh and alive so you won’t have to look for excitement elsewhere.

New Activities – Try to find some fun things that are new for you and your partner to do together. Sit down and talk about some of the fun things you both have wanted to do other than watching television together. Maybe you can start playing cards one night or taking a bide ride around a park or even a long walk through the subdivision.

Cooking a meal together may be a welcome change or taking some tennis lessons together. Going fishing or golfing together would make for a fun change. Joining some groups or leagues like bowling can be a great way to have some new fun.

Getting Away – Try to plan a nice, romantic getaway with your partner to somewhere new, fun and exciting. Let this be a new beginning that you can both explore together for the first time.

Each of you can take a part in the planning process making sure you both do things you both like. Even if it cannot be a week away, short two-day trips the mountains or camping can be a good change and lots of fun.

intimacyDates – Always take time during the week to make and keep dates with each other. This can be something as simple as meeting for coffee every Tuesday morning at the café or meeting after work for drinks on Friday night. Talk about your workweek and what’s been going on with your lives and make some plans for the next week.

Intimacy – Talk to your partner about your sex life. Tell them what’s working for you and what’s not. Discuss if things need to change, if it’s too routine or not routine enough. Make time for intimacy in your relationship and find a time that the two of you can be alone even if it’s just for fifteen or twenty minutes to just be with each other.

Always hug and kiss your partner and tell them you love them. You can find the way to easily build that intimacy back up by doing small but meaningful things for each other.

Remind your partner that you fell in love with them for the special qualities they had when you first met. Touch base on a daily basis even if it’s just a text message to say, “I love you,” or “I’m thinking about you.” The smallest acts of kindness can make the biggest differences to keep that love alive.

BONUS Articles: Ways to Relight the Flame of Love
Sweet Dreams Are Made of This…
Hide Love Notes for Your Partner to Discover!

Copyright © 2012 – Liz Cross. Liz writes about relationships and family health at www.grouphealthinsurance.org.

CLoveLOGOLarry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Ways to Relight the Flame of Love

Filed under: Have FUN Together,Romance,Romantic Tips! — Larry James @ 7:00 am

Has your relationship flame slowed to a flicker? No spark there anymore? Whatever happened to the passion you used to share, the endless conversations, lingering embraces, laughs and fun times?

According to psychologists, there is a time in a couple’s relationship that either one or both people come to a point when they ask themselves questions such as, “Is this all there is?” What happened to the romance? Reaching this point in a relationship may just be the right time for the couple to take a step back and reflect, really think about where their relationship is going.

reLIGHTtheflameThe first idea is to relearn how to have fun spending time together. Living in a society that’s more and more centered on the individual, it’s easy to explain how the routine of marriage can often be its downfall. Our busy work schedules, daily chores, conflicting agendas and children often get in the way of romance. If you catch yourself losing interest or notice that your relationship seems to be on the back burner, you have some work to do. You must make time for romance. It doesn’t happen all by itself. Never take your partnership for granted. That is the first step in the wrong direction.

“Relationships are not easy. They must be worked on all the time, not only when they are broken and need to be fixed!” ~ Larry James, from the book, “How to Really Love the One You’re With

There is a line in my “romantic” wedding ceremony that says, “Never stop doing the things that brought you together in the first place.” Not doing that comes up a lot when a couple comes to me for relationship coaching. Think about it. What was one thing that you enjoyed doing together when you first met that you no longer do? Each of you should consider making a list of several things, then agree to begin doing them again. You may be surprised what happens. A display of love and affection is at the top of the list of the beginning of a romantic encounter. Never allow your relationship to become routine. Be spontaneous.

By the way, relighting the romantic flame doesn’t have to have anything to do with sex… and it’s okay of it does. However, making love is a better idea. Research shows that couples who can sustain an active sex life, tend to live longer and be happier.

“Love is like a campfire: It may be sparked quickly, and at first the kindling throws out a lot of heat, but it burns out quickly. For long lasting, steady warmth (with delightful bursts of intense heat from time to time), you must carefully tend the fire.” ~ Molleen Matsumura

Here are a few ideas that may rekindle the love you have for each other so that both hearts are again on fire!

Once each day give your partner an unexpected, extended hug. Not a quick hug but one that has the power to express your love without words. It is also important to say, “I love you,” out loud at least once a day… more often is better. Those 3 little words are most important to hear from your partner.

coupledinnerOccasionally surprise your partner with a romantic greeting card. Send it my snail-mail. Keep your ears open for ideas for gifts that they may have talked about.

A meaningful kiss works wonders. Catch them by surprise and instead of a peck on the cheek allow your lips to linger on theirs. In other words, plant one that shows that you mean it.

A surprise date at a new restaurant works too. Reserve time for each other. Plan a weekend getaway. Remember your first date? If you have children you may have to do some advance planning. Go to a movie your partner has expressed a desire to see. Do things for each other that will emphasize how much you care. Do your partner’s chores for one day and let them do something special they’ve wanted to to.

Have a surprise renewal of vows ceremony. Here are some ideas. Recommit your love for each other. Recently the husband of a couple I married nearly 5 years ago called me and scheduled a renewal of vows ceremony as a surprise for his wife on their 5th anniversary. You should have seen the look on her face when, after seeing me sitting at the bar at Sassi’s sipping a diet cola, her husband announced that I was there to help them recommit their wedding vows to each other.

Another husband surprised his wife with a renewal of vows ceremony in a hot air balloon. She thought I was just another passenger along for the ride until we were at about 4,000 feet and her husband suggested that they renew their vows. When she turned around, there I was with my little black book.

takeawalk“Take a walk together: Walking is not only good exercise, but it also allows for you and your partner to be together and reflect on the day’s events. Getting fresh air and exercise is important for maintaining good health, so making this an activity (at least once a week) that you can do with your partner will be beneficial in more ways than one.” ~ Jan Rakoff, LCSW

Be playful. Play a game or put a 5000 piece puzzle together. Hold hands and run through the sprinkler in the back yard. Find ways to flirt with your partner and show them you are interested in connecting with them in a romantic way. Flirting has a way of bringing back the old memories. An unexpected phone call or text message to let them know you are thinking about them is a great idea. Turn off the TV, light some candles, put on some of your favorite romantic music and just talk. Laugh together.

Writing love notes to one another is a very romantic thing to do. A brief letter or poem in your own handwriting is a powerful way to rekindle the sparks. A shoulder rub, back or foot massage, or a back scratching session, for no particular reason makes your partner feel good. Go to bed early and cuddle beneath the sheets – do spoons. The goal is not sex but affection and emotional connection. There is something very special about going to sleep at the same time with each other.

It’s never too late to rekindle love and romance in a stale relationship. You must begin today! Small gestures can leave a big impression. It really comes down to a conscious choice and commitment to start over. Make an effort to connect physically, spiritually, and emotionally with your partner as often as possible. Don’t wait for your partner to make the first move. Go first!

BONUS Articles: Sweet Dreams Are Made of This…
10 Things Women Want Most From Their Man
Yesterday is History! Tomorrow is a Mystery!
Unleash Your Romantic Fervor!

heartonfireCLoveLOGOCopyright © 2012 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

letsbefriends2

Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com

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