Life is short… don’t blink! Your life can change in an instant!
I would like to call attention to those people who – intentionally or not – flat out don’t pay close enough attention to their relationship. They let things slide past them as if their partner were not even in the room. Often a moment’s inattention can cause a lasting resentment from your partner. Guys… just remember, when you are ignoring her, you are teaching her to live without you.
“We can choose to connect to those around us, or we can choose to close ourselves off. Some days we may not feel like reaching out to others, but on days when we can, you never know just what may come of it.” ~ Angie Aker
“It all started out perfectly. We were so in Love, but somewhere along the way the Love ran out!”
How sad to be together and know that some of the best days of your lives haven’t happened yet… and you are not paying attention to your relationship. Perhaps it’s time to stand up for something bigger than you both – your relationship – and make it a priority again. Talk. Communicate. When you have a problem, not communicating with your partner about it sends a message of its own. They get to make up what they think the non-spoken messages convey. So, how can couples divorce-proof their marriages? Sixty-five percent of experts agree the most effective way is by improving communication, followed by decreasing negativity/criticism.
You shouldn’t have to do it alone! One cannot do the work that is required of two. Together you are a team and you must work together if your relationship will survive. It’s important to stay connected. That takes some effort on both sides. Everyone’s adventure together is different. Love is what love is! To everyone it expresses itself differently, and it shouldn’t be a struggle.
How does your relationship feel? Feeling new and alive comes from the inside. It’s time to get back to the life you once loved. If the relationship you are in doesn’t feel like there is a lot of love showing up, it’s time to begin demonstrating a higher commitment to finding that love again. It is difficult to feel good about yourself, when you know you are letting your love partner down by not giving yourself your full attention. You take care of you – your partner does the same. It’s difficult, if not impossible, to pay attention to the overall relationship unless you both know how to focus attention on yourselves first. Two broken people can’t fix each other.
“Why isn’t Love enough? Why isn’t romantic love, followed by commitment or marital vows, able to keep us connected for a lifetime? The answer is “falling in love” or “being in love,” though a powerful emotion, is passive. Our culture naively teaches us to believe the feelings of love will never change. We don’t learn how to actively nurture and grow the emotion of love over our lifetimes.” ~ Bob Hollander, JD, LCSW-C and Lori Hollander, LCSW-C, BCD
Re-examine your relationship! Dump any destructive drama that’s going on in your life. Do you fight, make up, then fight again? Do you feel “not listened to?” You think those kind of people are your friends, but most don’t actually exude any qualities of a true friendship. If you feel stuck, worn down and unsupported or you wonder why your best friend isn’t the person you can count on when you need support, you may be in a toxic relationship.
Begin today to look into the future. Imagine – together – how your relationship can be if you recommit your love for one another and then “do” whatever must be done to have it be the way you imagined it. Love is much more than a basic human need. Power your passion with love. It’s time to reimagine your relationship! Imagination is a powerful thing, only if you use it.
Relationships can be awesome. For them to be awesome… they take work. They take paying close attention to them, nurturing them and expressing lots of love in many different ways.
Rediscover your passion for each other – you do remember the passion that once stirred your soul when you first met? When you fall in love with someone, the infatuation you both experience is exhilarating. You are elated. Everything is just dandy. You are doing the happy dance! You both are sure this will all help hold the relationship together. Power your passion with love. It begins with getting back to being friends again. As best you can, put your differences aside temporarily and do the things that friends do. Do romantic things for each other. This will energize your relationship. Get back to the Love!
NOTE: Some of the articles listed below may help get you started!
BONUS Article: Pay Attention to… Each Other!
Reboot Your Relationship With These 10 Ideas!
Love Yourself FIRST!
Friends and Lovers
Stay With It!
Top Ten Ways to Give Love
When You Stop Paying Attention to Your Marriage…
Everyday You Get to Start Over…
Let Love Change the Course of Your Life
“I Love You” – A to Z!
Got Answers? We’ve Got Questions!
Don’t Let Fear Shut You Down… Use it to Wake You Up!
Copyright © 2015 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.
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