Larry James' CelebrateLove.com BLOG

Thursday, October 12, 2017

Pulling Off the Perfect Holiday Proposal

Filed under: Proposal,Relationships — Larry James @ 10:30 am
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HolidayProposalEMMA.png

Copyright 2017 ~ Emma Gibson. Emma Gibson is a daughter, sister, and friend. She enjoys writing about lifestyle topics, combining her professional expertise with her love for pets, weddings, and cooking! She worked along Brilliance.com for the creation of this infographic.

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CLoveLOGOLarry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere.

the-archives2Click for Archives! ~ commentSubscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Monday, October 9, 2017

What Is Retroactive Jealousy?

Filed under: Jealousy,Relationships — Larry James @ 10:30 am
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Jeff Billings, Guest Author

My retroactive jealousy started five years ago… At around 2 a.m. my girlfriend and I were asleep in bed. Her mobile phone rang, waking us up. She took one look at who was calling and tossed it aside. A few moments later it beeped with the arrival of a text. Turned out it was a former “friend-with-benefits” asking if she was available to share some quality benefits. My girlfriend politely declined the request, but for some reason he found it strangely hard to take the hint and continued to pester her over the coming months.

An assortment of other former sex buddies also came out the woodwork and started cropping up on her phone, on Facebook, in conversation, etc. Many people would’ve been able to just shrug off these guys from the past without a second thought, but for some reason I became consumed by what’s known as retroactive jealousy OCD — obsessive anxiety and over-thinking about a partner’s romantic and/or sexual past.

After months of research on how to get over the repetitive images in my mind of my girlfriend’s sexual past, I discovered that certain exercises and mind hacks were able to ease the pain. The foundation for these, though, was built on first working out just what was going on inside my head.

A large part of the problem with retroactive jealousy OCD is not knowing why you’re feeling jealous about the past in the first place. Once the mind has latched onto a problem like, “Why am I feeling jealous of events that happened in the past?” though, it can be extremely difficult to release it.

Below I lay out the three core components of what’s going on in the mind when it comes to retroactive jealousy. Once I learned what these emotions were and how they were fueling my retroactive jealousy, I was finally able to start getting over it.

Fear

Strange as it may sound retroactive jealousy is not really about the past at all. It’s about anxieties you’re harboring about the present. And those are all bound up with a lack of confidence in yourself that you’ll be able to actually hold on to your partner. Retroactive jealousy, therefore, is merely an expression of this fear — that you’ll lose your partner.

The reason why these feelings are so strong is because you feel so strongly toward your partner. If you think back to an ex who you maybe didn’t care about as much, would you say you’d have been as “jealous” of their past if it had been exactly the same as your current partner’s? Probably not. So the thing to remember is that this retroactive jealousy you’re feeling is just your ego’s way of telling you to be careful because it doesn’t want to be hurt.

Judgment

Judgment plays a massive factor in retroactive jealousy. Quite simply, it’s more or less impossible to suffer from retroactive jealousy without being judgmental. This primarily manifests itself in judging a partner’s past actions. Sleeping with many people, one-night-stands, questionable exes, etc., are often very much looked down upon.

However, with retroactive jealousy it’s also not uncommon to be judgmental in some way about how a partner is behaving in the present too. So, keeping in contact with exes either in person or online, refusing to delete photos, reminiscing about the past, etc., are all actions that can inspire judgment.

A good way to overcome judgment of your partner’s past or present actions is to learn to trust them. Once you let go of your anxieties and fears that they may run off with someone else, and actually believe it when they tell you they love you, your feelings of judgment should start to dissipate.

Envy

I began to understand that envy played a part in my retroactive jealousy after comprehending that I wasn’t fearful or judgmental about my girlfriend’s sexual past in general. I didn’t particularly like the fact that she’d slept with five guys in six months, but this wasn’t what kept me awake at night. What really bugged me was one guy in particular — the one who’d woken us up at 2 a.m. in the morning and had continued to pester her for months afterwards.

I recognized that mainly I was envious of just this guy’s relationship with my girlfriend, and this was brought on by the way she seemed to treat him differently from all the other guys. While all the others had long been deleted from her phone and social media accounts, this one remained. Her refusal to remove him from her life, and generally favorable view of him, made me feel envious of their past and present relationship, and this was the final piece of the puzzle I needed to work out what was going on in my head.

If you’re struggling to overcome retroactive jealousy, focusing on these three areas of fear, judgment and envy should be your first point of call in learning how to overcome retroactive jealousy OCD. Figuring out what’s going on in your mind is half the battle, but hopefully now you know what you’re up against and are better equipped to fight it.

Copyright © 2017 – Jeff Billings.  Jeff Billings is the author of The Ultimate Retroactive Jealousy Cure and founder of RetroactiveJealousyCrusher.com — a website devoted to helping people get over repetitive thoughts about their partner’s past caused by retroactive jealousy OCD. He lives on the south coast of England with his wife, Emma, and dyslectic cat, Mike.

BONUS Article:
Romantic Jealousy is Scary!
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CLoveLOGOLarry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere.

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Monday, April 24, 2017

Touchy, Feely is a Good Thing!

Filed under: holding hands,Relationships,Romance — Larry James @ 10:00 am
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There’s a reason you reach for your child’s hand in scary moments or interlace fingers with your partner when you’re feeling flirty.

The simple palm-to-palm actions triggers a whole cascade of biological changes! Blood pressure and heart rates drop, which helps calm you, while oxytocin – the cuddle or bonding hormone – is released, says Matthew Hertenstein, Ph.D., director of the Touch and Emotion Lab at DePauw University in Greencastle, IN.

Reaching for your partner’s hand is a big deal. Taking someone’s hand is a sign of wanting to be close to your partner in a nonsexual way. This simple touch conveys an intimacy that is one of the first steps towards forming an intimate relationship.

Remember that horrible scene in the last horror movie you saw that made you want to jump out of your chair? Luckily, your darling was with you to hold your hand and make you feel safe. The human brain responds to sudden stimulation using adrenaline; this stimulation gets our blood pumping and releases high levels of cortisol throughout our body. During these moments, our natural reaction is to hold hands with someone we trust.

Holding hands releases feelings that improve your health, reduce stress, and you can do it anywhere. Holding hands in public is the best (and least nauseating) way of letting people know that you’re proud of the person you’re with. Plus, it doesn’t matter if you get caught!

Do you enjoy the comforting sensation of holding hands? Been too long for you to remember? Perhaps it’s time that you take your partner’s hands and just hold them for a moment or two to see how that feels.

Touchy, feely is a good thing!

CLoveLOGOCopyright © 2017 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

the-archives2Click for Archives! ~ commentSubscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Friday, December 23, 2016

The Daffodill Wine Guide for Christmas

Filed under: Relationships — Larry James @ 8:45 am

 Wine Guide for Christmas
Wine Guide for Christmas by Daffodil Hotel

CLoveLOGOCopyright © 2016 –Daffodil Hotel

Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

the-archives2Click for Archives! ~ commentSubscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Thursday, May 26, 2016

Dream Lover

Filed under: Dreams,I Love You!,Intimacy,Kissing,Love,Relationships — Larry James @ 10:30 am

DreamLover.jpg

CLoveLOGOCopyright © 2013 – 2016 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from a real dream. Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

the-archives2Click for Archives! ~ commentSubscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
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Monday, December 28, 2015

“Thank You, Father for Zero Pain” + A Special Favor From You!

Filed under: Prayer,Relationships — Larry James @ 7:30 am
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Some of you may have noticed that I pretty much stopped posting new articles to my four blogs around the first of November, 2015.

ThankYouFatherAbout that time something happened to my lower back and the pain was almost unbearable. The pain broke my focus and interfered with the concentration required to write. I would sit down to write and the pain said, “No!”

I am a very spiritual person and believe that God does heal.

“Prayer slows our mind, calms our spirit, and centers our heart. It removes our mind from the culture of consumption that surrounds us and centers us on something greater and more important. It calls us to identify our desires and articulate our values.” ~ Joshua Becker

Recently I wrote: “I believe that every prayer is answered when absolute belief is present; one way or another and always for good and for your benefit. It might not be at the time you want, or the way you want it; but it will be answered. Another benefit of prayer? It teaches you patience while you wait for an answer. 😉

A prayer without belief that your prayer will be answered is incapable of producing any useful result. Next time, suspend your disbelief and say a prayer of thanksgiving. A grateful prayer begins the creation process. Let go of the “wanting” of it and focus on what it feels like to have what you desire. Remember that prayer is made powerful by the sincerity of it and the faith and belief that supports it.”

The power of prayer is not the result of the person praying. Rather, the power resides in the God who is being prayed to.

Prayer places us in contact with Almighty God, and we should expect almighty results, whether or not He chooses to grant our petitions or deny our requests. Whatever the answer to our prayers, the God to whom we pray is the source of the power of prayer, and He can and will answer us, according to His perfect will and timing.

There is a scripture that says, “Again I say to you, that if two of you agree on earth about anything that they may ask, it shall be done for them by My Father who is in heaven.” (Matthew 18:19).

… And now, the favor I ask of you. If you are a believer, right now… stop and silently remember me in your prayers. I thank you!

BONUS Articles: So… What About the Power of Prayer?
A Prayer of Thanksgiving
Holy! Holy! Holy!
Religion vs. Spirituality

CLoveLOGOCopyright © 2015 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

the-archives2Click for Archives! ~ commentSubscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
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Monday, November 23, 2015

Are You the “Essence of Joy?”

Filed under: Joy,Relationships — Larry James @ 7:30 am
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I’m not suggesting that you go around “joyful” all the time, but that your essence should reflect the fact that you focus on what makes you joyful the biggest percentage of the time. You cannot reflect this joy if you are hanging around others who are duds!

Look at your top 5 friends. Do they reflect joy? No! Then why are you hanging around them. You usually become more like these people the more you hang around them. Me? I like people who are UP most of the time. They are just more fun to be around.

REL-EssenceofJOYIf you focus your attention upon the experience of being joyful as much as you focus upon the absence of it, not only would you begin to enjoy life more, but maintaining your physical well-being and balance would also be easier. Look for people who are happy. The problem is we focus too much on the problems and concerns we have and go about complaining and telling everyone how we feel. (Most don’t really want to hear it – unless they are doing the same thing – then they feel right at home with you). FOCUS!

Most of us are engaged in the here and now about 8 percent of our waking hours – the rest of the time is spent thinking forward or backward, dwelling in worry or regret. Forward thinking works better.

The easiest thing of all to lose is your joy. You receive a disturbing e-mail, the cat knocked over your coffee cup, and on and on. You cannot us be a good witness with your countenance if you live on the other side of joy. How do you get your joy back? The first step you need to do is admit you’ve lost it. Get your joy back! Always thinking, “I’d be more joyful if… or when…” won’t get you there.

Start by taking inventory of what matters to you and what makes you happy. Your own joyfulness is one of the few things you have complete control over and while cultivating joy can be difficult to achieve without intention, it’s work no one else can do for you. Before you get out of bed in the morning, think of something that makes you smile. Smiling more often is one of the keys to finding joy.

Every day, do something that reaffirms the beauty and joy of living. Focus on being more joyful. Intentionally focus. Being intentional clarifies your focus. When you catch yourself complaining about everything, your focus is distorted. What to do?

I made a conscious decision many years ago that I was not going to hang abound people who were negative, unhappy and who complained about things but never did anything different. Boo! Hiss! I found that I was becoming more like them and I didn’t like what I saw.

joyThen the “C” word showed up! I changed. There are consequences for every choice you make. Some good. Some not so good. As I put distance between people who I used to hang out with, I noticed that many other opportunities to meet new people showed up. That was good. How could I tell? They were people who when faced with a situation, immediately began to focus on a solution instead of bitching about it. The more I surrounded myself with people who were joyful, happy and self-confident, the duds began dropping by the wayside. Not everyone, but the ones that were dragging to down. I began to seek more “Wow!” moments. I became more optimistic. Experts agree that optimistic people are happier people, they are more joyful.

My whole attitude changed toward one of joy, fulfillment and more. Truly my whole like changed for the better. It’s important to find joy on your journey.

“Energy follows thought; we move toward but not beyond what we can imagine. What we assume, expect, or believe creates and colors our experience. By expanding our deepest beliefs about what is possible, we change our experience of life.” ~ Dan Millman

If you asked your friends, “Am I the essence of joy?” what would their answer be? First, they would probably think you’ve gone off the deep end, so don’t ask. You already know. And if you are not moving up the “Joy” scale, perhaps you could drop some of the things that are holding you back, focus on finding more things to be joyful about and begin to rain joy and happiness on everyone you meet.

What brings you joy?

Time to do something different. Turn off the news. Eat a cupcake. 😉

Sound like a plan?

BONUS Articles: 40 Ways to Find Joy in Your Everyday Life
Kidding Around With Romance

CLoveLOGOCopyright © 2015 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

the-archives2Click for Archives! ~ commentSubscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
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Sunday, November 15, 2015

Unhappy in Marriage is Bad for Your Heart!

A new study suggests that an unhappy marriage could wreak havoc on your cardiovascular health.

Researchers examined five years of data from married men and women, ages 57 to 85. People with spouses who were negative or critical were more likely to have heart health issues – women suffered more than men – than those supportive partners. This effect worsened with age.

REL-UnhappyMarriageThey then compared heart health to how these adults said they felt about their marriages. Wives and husbands (who were not married to each other) answered questions about how close they felt to their spouses, how happy their marriages were, and how demanding and critical they felt their spouses were.

Theory: Relationship stress intensifies over time, and heart disease is harder to overcome in those who are older and more frail.

It’s one of the first to take a nationally-representative sample of adults and examine the impact of marriage quality on heart health over time.

This from a study of nearly 1,200 married American men and women by researchers at Michigan State University, East Lansing, published in Journal of Health and Social Behavior.

Being in an unhappy marriage can cause stress, which has a direct link with cardiovascular health. And those effects accumulate. “It’s not like you have contact with your spouse and the next day you have heart disease,” Hui Liu, a Michigan State University sociologist, said. “It really takes time. That may explain why it’s stronger for older people. Your body will remember the effect.”

Such marriages can also push you toward unhealthy and harmful habits, like drinking a lot or smoking.

But why is it that women were hurt even more by unhappiness in a marriage? Liu said it’s possible that women are more likely to internalize their feelings, feel depressed and be more sensitive than the men in their relationships. They also found that when women were sick with heart disease, it lowered the quality of a marriage, but not when men were sick. Liu said women are more likely to serve in a caregiver role for their sick husbands and be more sensitive to not exacerbating stress, but husbands may not be as sensitive about the relationship when their wives are sick.

While a lot of marriage counseling may focus on younger couples, the study authors emphasize that older couples would be wise to pay attention to the qualities of their marriages, too. Their hearts may very well depend upon doing so. “But these results show that marital quality is just as important at older ages, even when the couple has been married 40 or 50 years,” Liu said.

A happy marriage, of course, isn’t the only way to a healthy heart. Cardiovascular health begins with your diet. Start by cutting back on your salt-intake. Consuming too much can lead to high blood pressure, which is the leading cause of risk of death for women in the U.S. Most Americans should eat fewer than 2,300 milligrams of salt, which means almost all of us should cut back on sodium, according to the CDC.

You can also change your diet to include more heart-friendly foods like oatmeal, salmon, avocado, and berries. Beefing up your green veggie intake with more spinach and soy beans can help as well. And go ahead and indulge in a glass of wine every now and then. Research suggests the tannins in red wine might help reduce the risk of heart disease and moderate drinkers are less likely to suffer a heart attack.

Another key to a healthy heart is exercise. The American Heart Association recommends 30 minutes of moderate-intensity exercise five days per week. Alternatively, 25 minutes of high-intensity exercise three days per week, in addition to muscle strengthening exercises two days each week can also help to prevent heart disease. So get out there and swim, run, bike, jog, whatever it takes to get your heart healthy and pumping.

Copyright © 2015 – Hui Liu, a Michigan State University sociologist. You can contact her at: http://Sociology.MSU.edu/faculty/profile/liu-hui/.

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CLoveLOGOLarry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

the-archives2Click for Archives! ~ commentSubscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
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Wednesday, November 11, 2015

The Absolute Best Way to Recharge Your Relationship

There’s nothing that recharges a relationship like “getting away.” Putting the pause button on life for a day, a weekend or a week, is vital to remembering why you got together in the first place.

People make all kinds of excuses as to why that can’t “get away.” First and foremost is, “I can’t take time off of work.” Our culture values work productivity over family and relationships. We view relaxation and leisure as lazy. The consequence is stress, burnout, and neglect of our most important relationships.

REL-GettingAwayOften the chronic complaint in couples counseling is that one partner feels the other puts work first. Only at the point where damage has been done to the relationship, does that partner make changes. Suddenly they find a way to finish their day earlier, or “unplug” when home.

Other excuses are lack of money, time, and childcare. Bob and I take a hard line here since we see the result of relationships being neglected: There are no valid excuses for not “getting away.” It doesn’t mean you have to leave town for a week or break the bank. More about that later.

Here’s why “getting away” is so important to your relationship. It:

1. Breaks the routine and let’s you slow down. Our lives tend to become like “Groundhog’s Day.” We focus more on doing than being. Unconsciously, we take our relationships for granted and the result may insidiously be “relational drift.”

2. Makes it easier to unplug and focus. We’ve become so plugged into our computers and cell phones that we don’t often unplug. This has led to less focus on deeper communication and connection with our partners.

3. Increases joy together. Getting away revitalizes our relationships. We remember what it is like to be free, to let down and let go of responsibilities for a short time; to play, to laugh, have fun together.

4. Creates positive memories that will last much longer than the time away. Just the memories and looking at pictures of fun times together can transport us back to that feeling. In this way, times away last much longer than they actually are and give us pleasure after they are over.

5. Provides privacy that you rarely get at home. When our children are in the home, we don’t have much privacy. Being away gives you space to walk around naked, and feel unrestrained.

6. Allows you to relax and have better sex. Sex at home when kids are around is not ideal. When they are little we are exhausted, and when they are not around there is always something that needs to get done. It’s easy to neglect sex. Getting away means you can’t do any cleaning up or home projects. It is forced relaxation. Sex is always best when we are relaxed. And sex in a new place is more exciting!

BONUS Article: It’s Never Too Late to Get Back on Track… S#XUALLY!
Make Everyday a FUNday!

Copyright © 2015 by Lori Hollander, LCSW-C, BCD. Lori Hollander, LCSW-C, BCD, is a licensed counselor and co-founder of Relationships Work, an innovative therapy practice and online resource center. Together with her husband, Bob, they encourage couples to consciously co-create their relationships in order to achieve a deeper, more intimate connection. You can visit Relationships Work online at: http://www.RelationshipsWork.com. Follow them on Facebook.

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CLoveLOGOLarry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

the-archives2Click for Archives! ~ commentSubscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
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Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
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Saturday, November 7, 2015

21 Rules For Living to a Healthy Old Age

Oussama Zinedine, Guest Author

Some of us have reached our golden years, and some of us have not. But these suggestions should be read by everyone. They have been collected from many a senior, each with his or her own piece of advice. Some you know, some may surprise you, and some will remind you of what’s important. So read well, share with your loved ones, and have a great day and a great life!

REL-OldAge11. It’s time to use the money you saved up. Use it and enjoy it. Don’t just keep it for those who may have no notion of the sacrifices you made to get it. Remember there is nothing more dangerous than a son or daughter-in-law with big ideas for your hard earned capital. Warning: This is also a bad time for an investment, even if it seems wonderful or fool-proof. They only bring problems and worries and this is a time for you to enjoy some peace and quiet.

2. Stop worrying about the financial situation of your children and grandchildren, and don’t feel bad spending your money on yourself. You’ve taken care of them for many years, and you’ve taught them what you could. You gave them an education, food, shelter and support. The responsibility is now theirs to earn their own money.

3. Keep a healthy life, without great physical effort. Do moderate exercise (like walking every day), eat well and get your sleep. It’s easy to become sick, and it gets harder to remain healthy. That is why you need to keep yourself in good shape and be aware of your medical and physical needs. Keep in touch with your doctor, get tested even when you’re feeling well. Stay informed.

4. Always buy the best, most beautiful items for your significant other. The key goal is to enjoy your money with your partner. One day one of you will miss the other, and the money will not provide any comfort then, enjoy it together.

5. Don’t stress over the little things. You’ve already overcome so much in your life. You have good memories and bad ones, but the important thing is the present. Don’t let the past drag you down and don’t let the future frighten you. Feel good in the now. Small issues will soon be forgotten.

6. Regardless of age, always keep love alive. Love your partner, love life, love your family, love your neighbor and remember: “A man is not old as long as he has intelligence and affection.”

7. Be proud, both inside and out. Don’t stop going to your hair salon or barber, do your nails, go to the dermatologist and the dentist, keep your perfumes and creams well stocked. When you are well-maintained on the outside, it seeps in, making you feel proud and strong.

REL-OldAge48. Don’t lose sight of fashion trends for your age, but keep your own sense of style. There’s nothing worse than an older person trying to wear the current fashion among youngsters. You’ve developed your own sense of what looks good on you – keep it and be proud of it. It’s part of who you are.

9. ALWAYS stay up-to-date. Read newspapers, watch the news. Go online and read what people are saying. Make sure you have an active email account and try to use some of those social networks. You’ll be surprised which old friends you’ll meet. Keeping in touch with what is going on and with the people you know is important at any age.

10. Respect the younger generation and their opinions. They may not have the same ideals as you, but they are the future, and will take the world in their direction. Give advice, not criticism, and try to remind them of yesterday’s wisdom that still applies today.

REL-AgingWell211. Never use the phrase: “In my time.” Your time is now. As long as you’re alive, you are part of this time. You may have been younger, but you are still you now, having fun and enjoying life.

12. Some people embrace their golden years, while others become bitter and surly. Life is too short to waste your days on the latter. Spend your time with positive, cheerful people, it’ll rub off on you and your days will seem that much better. Spending your time with bitter people will make you older and harder to be around.

13. Do not surrender to the temptation of living with your children or grandchildren (if you have a financial choice, that is). Sure, being surrounded by family sounds great, but we all need our privacy. They need theirs and you need yours. If you’ve lost your partner (our deepest condolences), then find a person to move in with you and help out. Even then, do so only if you feel you really need the help or do not want to live alone.

14. Don’t abandon your hobbies. If you don’t have any, make new ones. You can travel, hike, cook, read, dance. You can adopt a cat or a dog, grow a garden, play cards, checkers, chess, dominoes, golf. You can paint, volunteer at an NGO or just collect certain items. Find something you like and spend some real time having fun with it.

15. Even if you don’t feel like it, try to accept invitations. Baptisms, graduations, birthdays, weddings, conferences. Try to go. Get out of the house, meet people you haven’t seen in a while, experience something new (or something old). But don’t get upset when you’re not invited. Some events are limited by resources, and not everyone can be hosted. The important thing is to leave the house from time to time. Go to museums, go walk through a field. Get out there.

16. Be a conversationalist. Talk less and listen more. Some people go on and on about the past, not caring if their listeners are really interested. That’s a great way of reducing their desire to speak with you. Listen first and answer questions, but don’t go off into long stories unless asked to. Speak in courteous tones and try not to complain or criticize too much unless you really need to. Try to accept situations as they are. Everyone is going through the same things, and people have a low tolerance for hearing complaints. Always find some good things to say as well.

REL-OldAge17. Pain and discomfort go hand in hand with getting older. Try not to dwell on them but accept them as a part of the cycle of life we’re all going through. Try to minimize them in your mind. They are not who you are, they are something that life added to you. If they become your entire focus, you lose sight of the person you used to be.

18. If you’ve been offended by someone – forgive them. If you’ve offended someone – apologize. Don’t drag around resentment with you. It only serves to make you sad and bitter. It doesn’t matter who was right. Someone once said: “Holding a grudge is like taking poison and expecting the other person to die.” Don’t take that poison. Forgive, forget and move on with your life.

SkinnyDipping19. If you have a strong belief, savor it. But don’t waste your time trying to convince others. They will make their own choices no matter what you tell them, and it will only bring you frustration. Live your faith and set an example. Live true to your beliefs and let that memory sway them.

20. Laugh. Laugh A LOT. Laugh at everything. Remember, you are one of the lucky ones. You managed to have a life, a long one. Many never get to this age, never get to experience a full life. But you did. So what’s not to laugh about? Find the humor in your situation.

21. Take no notice of what others say about you and even less notice of what they might be thinking. They’ll do it anyway, and you should have pride in yourself and what you’ve achieved. Let them talk and don’t worry. They have no idea about your history, your memories and the life you’ve lived so far. There’s still much to be written, so get busy writing and don’t waste time thinking about what others might think. Now is the time to be at rest, at peace and as happy as you can be!

BONUS Article: Make Everyday a FUNday!
Romance in a Jar…
Ways to Relight the Flame of Love

Copyright © 2015 – Oussama Zinedine. Oussama Zinedine, is Manager at Assaly & Associates. “Assaly & Associates s.a.r.l ” is specialized in governing and handling the relations of our clients with their Bankers – “Bank Relationship Management.” Visit their Website at: http://www.AssalyGroup.com/

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CLoveLOGOLarry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

the-archives2Click for Archives! ~ commentSubscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s Relationship Pintrest Page at: http://www.pinterest.com/larryjames2012/relationships-blog/

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