Larry James' BLOG

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Get a Room!

Filed under: PDA (Public Display of Affection),Video — Larry James @ 7:30 am
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A public display of affection is exciting, but it can also project your image in the wrong light and upset other people. Be careful to not push it to the edge of public indecency.

publicAffectionA public display of affection (sometimes abbreviated PDA) is physically demonstrating affection for another person while in the view of others, for example, holding hands, sex (X-rated), sitting on someone’s lap, an arm around your shoulder, or kissing in public. Unless you are a frog or a lizard, your tongue should stay in your mouth while you are in public.

PDA etiquette should always be respected. Holding hands, friends hugging each other when they meet, putting ones head on shoulder, or an innocent peck on the lips (a few casual pecks) when two lovers meet after a while are all forms of public display of affection. Remember to keep it PG. How far you can go? People are entitled to express themselves through actions and words, this is a god-given right that we should proudly embrace at all costs. Don’t scream but whisper the magic words “I Love You,” or other such sweet nothings. It’s not a good idea to get too lovey-dovey. Of course, it depends on how affectionate it gets. It is clear that it may be too much if one has to come up for air, or is connected to the other person for well over ten seconds. To most, it’s cute until the tongue gets involved. 😉

We all crave affection; that very special emotional connection and being softly touched are all part of keeping the romance alive. They are expressions of love, symbols for trustfulness, loyalty and pride.

It is wise to respect the people around you. Always take a good look around and see if you’re in the midst of people who accept public display of affection, certainly no kids. Showing respect of others should be a high priority.

holdinghandsIt’s easy to get caught up in your little love and happiness bubble but be careful that you don’t commit a serious faux pas. Always stay within the boundaries of appropriateness. There is definitely a limit which has to be set in order to avoid obscenity and vulgarity. No one wants to see any flashing of well concealed body parts nor do we want to see anything gross. Probably anything that you wouldn’t be comfortable doing in front of your grandparents should not be done as a PDA.

Etiquette expert Judith Martin, aka Miss Manners, says that being overly affectionate is childish, silly and inconsiderate. But she also says that it’s only offensive when it gets to the point of nearing lovemaking.

Not only will people tend to feel annoyed and uncomfortable because of such actions, but excessive PDA may also cause embarrassment to the couple themselves.

While affection is definitely great and wonderful in a relationship, displaying it excessively in other people’s line of vision usually isn’t that great. It’s okay to share loving glances across the room and to hold each other tightly while dancing. You may be in love and perhaps want to proclaim it to the world, but please don’t be gross about it. A little respect for others is required.

“Public display of affection can be tricky business. If you know how to do it well, it can seem cute and affectionate, but if you cross that thin red line, you can border into repulsive and disgusting.” ~

Larry’s rule: No face-eating or sex in public. No public displays of lust. Groping each other in public is out. If you want to indulge in something raunchier that’s when it’s time to get a room!

What do you think of PDA? Have you witnessed anything inappropriate? Are women more inclined to want it than men? Should it be kept confined to the bedroom? Or can women expect her man to want to kiss/cuddle her in public?

BONUS Article: Dos and Don’ts for Public Displays of Affection

CLoveLOGOCopyright © 2013 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact:, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – and

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