Larry James' CelebrateLove.com BLOG

Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Single and Ready for Love… Caution!

Caution: Don’t fall in love with a broken heart. That would be someone who has just come out of a relationship and hasn’t yet had enough time to heal.

You knew that, right? When your heart has been broken, it takes time for it to heal. You do not want to carry that pain into another relationship until you don’t hurt anymore. Even then, it is important to take some time be see what being alone for awhile feels like. Do not rush. That would be another mistake.

firstdateOkay. So… it’s been enough time. He’s been gone long enough. You’re ready to begin dating. You just want to see what’s out there.

You finally exercised your forgiveness option – both for him and yourself; read relationship and personal growth books, hired a relationship coach; went to a seminar or two and spent lots of time alone, working on you. That’s a great start in the right direction. Not everyone you meet on your dating quest has been doing what you’ve been doing for the last year or so. You know. The stuff that lets you know you are ready for another relationship – or, at least, to see what’s available.

You will probably attend a few singles groups. That will help to be around people again. Maybe even sign up on a “We Help You Get a Hot Date” website. Sometimes that works. Sometimes it doesn’t.

Most single women who come to me for relationship coaching tell me that most of the men they meet just want to get in their pants. Get a clue, guys! They tell me that guys should grow up; that they are the one’s who need coaching about how to talk to and be with a woman. Know anybody like that? They also say that men seem to want to talk about their past relationship. Not good. There may come a time when that could be relevant but certainly not on the first date or two.

You may have to kiss a lot of frogs. You also need to know that there is no perfect man (or woman either, for that matter). No knight on a horse. No “the one.” And you would be wise to show up around people until love finds you. In my opinion, looking for love is like showing up at a single event with a sign on your forehead that reads, “I’m available.” BE love. Be the kind of person that you know someone would love. Celebrate Love wherever you go and with whomever you are with.

Here are a couple of ideas. You have a right to be picky. However, not too picky. You will meet a couple of jerks once in a while. Smile. Say, “No thank you” when he asks to see you again. You need to know the quality of a man’s character, personality type, is he married to his job, “is he married!”, does he have time for a little romance, etc. Make a list. You will probably be adding to it after the first date or three. Or you may even cross off a few things that you have discovered aren’t that important.

slowdownNot everyone you meet is really ready for a relationship, much less a “committed” relationship. Come across that way and you will probably scare away a few good ones as well as the bad ones. Many of the people you will meet – both men and women – still have broken hearts and they are still feeling the pain.

Never settle for the first guy that makes you feel good. When you haven’t had a warm tender hug in a long time, it can be very tempting. Take it slow. I can say don’t do this, but I know you will. You will have an occasion to play the “comparison” game; “He’s just like my ex!” Not a good game to be playing. You only want to look back to see how far you’ve come and the lessons you learned along the way. Don’t make the same mistakes. You know the ones. Take plenty of time to get to know each other. Have great conversations. Take your time. When you have a relevant question, ask it.

Above all… don’t fall in love with a broken heart. That would definitely throw your plan to be happy in a loving relationship totally out of balance and in a downward spiral. If I’m talking to you. I hope you can see that.

BONUS Articles: For Men Only – “How to Attract Women: Stop Making These 10 Body Language Blunders
For Singles Only ~ Not to Worry… Love Will Find You!
More articles for Singles. Click here!

CLoveLOGOCopyright © 2013 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

letsbefriends2

Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com

Advertisements

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

And You Thought That You Had it Bad…

I want you to know the wisdom of a 19 year old boy who survived Katrina. Do you remember the chaos in New Orleans? He and his family lost everything they owned in that storm.

words-of-wisdom2Bernell Taylor is his name. During his audition for American Idol, Ryan Seacrest asked him, “How do you come back from something like that?” he replied, “It happened. Ya just gotta live after that!”

Please go back and read Bernel Taylor’s response again… No. Forget it. Here it is again:

BernellTaylor

Bernell Taylor

“It happened. Ya just gotta live after that!”

What a terrific attitude!

My wife divorced me! ~ “Ya just gotta live after that!”

We just had to file bankruptcy! ~ “Ya just gotta live after that!”

I got fired today! ~ “Ya just gotta live after that!”

My girlfriend dumped me! ~ “Ya just gotta live after that!”

Did you see the numbers today! I lost my butt in the stock market! ~ “Ya just gotta live after that!”

___________________! (fill in the blank!) ~ “Ya just gotta live after that!”

writeyournextchapterI know. It never feels like it’s going to be easy. You know that, don’t you? You’d be right! But at least Bernell’s wisdom gives you hope. It may even cause you to think less of what happened and more about who you are becoming. A brief glimpse into the future… thinking about what might be instead of what has been. HOPE! Does that make better sense to you?

“Ya just gotta live after that!”

You may even discover that there really could be something “after that!”

What’s your banana? What is your “after that?” What is that one thing that you hold on to – that if you could have the courage to let go – would ignite a new spark in you! You finally got it. The fire grows stronger and suddenly “You’ve got the burn!”

When you read that last paragraph, didn’t you feel a little tingle that made you think of what might be? You got to be sick and tired of being sick and tired and you really don’t want to feel that way anymore.

Okay! So stop reading, turn your computer off and begin again. Begin first to count your blessings. You may get more benefit if you would get a note pad and begin to make a “GET ME OUT OF THIS HOLE!!!” bucket list. Come up with a few things that you can do that invites you to look past what got you here, and that will support you in what you’re gonna be up to.

You’re welcome to comment, especially if you’ve never before posted a comment. Tell us 3 benefits that may (or may not) have come from reading and/or being inspired by the article, “And You Thought That You Had it Bad…;” benefits that will assist you in moving on and getting on fire about life again. Very soon you will catch yourself saying, “Watch my SMOKE!!”

American_IdolThat’s all folks! Get busy!

By the way, Bernel Taylor’s audition made me and Mariah Carey cry. Keith Urban was freaking out over Bernell Taylor. It was incredible! One of the best I’ve seen. He sang, “I’m Here,” a song from “The Color Purple” at the Baton Rouge American Idol auditions week (1/25/13). Watch the Burnell Taylor “I’m Here” Video; the video that inspired this article.

CLoveLOGOCopyright © 2013 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

letsbefriends2

Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com

Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.

%d bloggers like this: