Larry James' CelebrateLove.com BLOG

Thursday, November 21, 2013

Celebrate Love at Your Very Own “Wonderama!”

How long has it been since the two of you really spent some “quality” time together? Does your relationship need a little extra oomph? Whether you’ve been married or together for years, show your partner how much you appreciate them by planning some sexy surprises for a very special night together. I’m talking about a night with absolutely no distractions; no kids, no smart phones, iPads, texting, TV, etc. None! I’m talking a very special evening of Love and romance. The kind of time where you both really let your hair down and genuinely BE together; where you can cuddle, caress and celebrate your Love together in special ways.

Wonderama2Alone time with your partner can sometimes be challenging and hard to arrange because of long hours at work and kids. You have to plan time – or rather “make” time like this to get together. Don’t rush. Take your time planning. Why not make these precious hours you two share extra exciting? Plan a “Wonderama” where you will rediscover the wonder of each other. It’s time for a little hedonistic fun. The pursuit of pleasure is something that many couples let slide when they have been together for a long time.

“My job is to be helpful!” 😉 …To assist you with some ideas that will help you express the love that was strong in the beginning, is still there, and if you’re both on the same page… will manifest itself again in a very special way.

You have to work together to make something like this to work. Creating your “Wonderama” takes some preplanning and may stretch your creative abilities. It’s a romantic break from routine. Decorate a special place. Turn it into your own sensual play space or love nest. It could be a mattress in the living room floor (or move the coffee table off to the side so you have room to lay down layers of soft blankets) or the back yard (pull out your blow-up mattress and sleeping bags), the bedroom, (I prefer the bedroom, but that’s just me), or a hotel room for one night. You can’t get sexier than sharing strawberries (the chocolate-dipped ones – they’re an aphrodisiac) and champagne in bed. Make it up for you. Design the layout together. Forget your age. Never let age be your cage. Consider a blanket-fort with lots of soft pillows. That is childlike but fun. Focus on Love and romance.

Once you set a time and a date, tease your partner with little notes several days in advance that remind them of your special night together. Leave a single strawberry and a note that reads “See you tonight,” or a Post-It® note on the bathroom mirror. Send each other tantalizing text messages during the day of. Something simple and sexy will do. The anticipation will make an ordinary night much more alluring. Think seduction. Get a little edgier by having a blindfold and/or handcuffs which you may or may not use.

TwinMassageYou can do this by yourselves or hire some helpers to help you brainstorm some super romantic ideas. Remember that being romantic is all in the attitude that you bring to this special night. Pamper yourselves. Rent a Masseuse for the evening. Two works nice – one for each of you. Treat yourselves to a sensual twin massage. Before you begin, choose some soothing music to play in the background. The relaxing pressure of the massage helps put you back in touch with your bodies: the ultimate preparation for your late-night “Wonderama!” There’s nothing more romantic and relaxing than a massage. (Tip: My favorite… Coconut-passion-fruit massage oil).

Relax. One couple I know hired a harpist to play their favorite romantic music for a couple of hours in the room next to them while they played together. Surely by now you both have a favorite song or two. Play them and burn a CD with more of your favorite tunes. Dance a verrrry slow, sexy dance.

mood-foodsYou could hire a caterer to bring in snacks to nibble on when you get tired of nibbling on each other. 😉 Feed each other hazelnut truffles or cinnamon-flavored ganache. Chill your favorite beverages. Put a lot of thought into this creative endeavor. Cook up one special surprise for your partner. Write 4 or 5 romantic things to read to your partner when the time is right. Don’t hold back. Say what’s in your heart. A little mystery can go a long way. This will be a night to remember.

A “Wonderama” is a very special time to be together and the purpose is to create a cozy retreat chucked full of Love and romance. It will rekindle the romance that may be missing. The intent is to spice up your love life. Do plenty of touching and flirting. You may rediscover what it’s like to really be in Love and both agree to make it an annual (or quarterly) romantic adventure. Sprinkle some rose petals around the room or some of your most loved fresh flowers.

Temporarily dismiss the cares of the day, any relationship issues and anything else that could distract you from really being together. Share a warm shower with a loofah sponge. Good hygiene is paramount. Who cares if you can only fit one person in there? Or take a bubble bath together with lots of bubbles and subtle scents. Lavender oil has a fresh, sweet, floral, herbaceous aroma that is soothing and refreshing. This night should not be without it. Don’t forget the rubber ducky. Lather each other up with some vanilla bath gel and you won’t mind being in such close quarters. Towel each other off.

grapesLight some scented candles or incense. Time for lights out. I like the subtle aroma of beeswax candles which is totally natural and not overpowering like some scented candles. Be playful. Experiment with seductive touch. Bring toys. Use them. Feed each other grapes along with your special beverage. Shed your inhibitions. Let yourself go. Demonstrate genuine interest in each other. Blindfold your partner. Make sure they can’t peek! Then, feed them a piece of food and have them describe what kinds of flavours, textures and memories they are experiencing. Some good old-fashioned necking might be in order too. Be brave. Hold no Love back. Demonstrate your love. Let Love express itself in ways you have nearly forgotten. Dress (or undress) for the occasion.

WonderamaLie in each others arms. Kiss. Relax with one another. Share your best memories of when you first met. Do spoons. Have FUN together. “More grapes, please!” See if you can be present and go away with each other at the same time. Keep going. Tell each other something they don’t know about you. Hold each other. Whisper sweet somethings! Express your deepest feelings with words that you whisper aloud. Relax together… together. Really BE together. If your partner is willing (and ONLY if they are willing)… act out a fantasy (within healthy limits, of course). Let your guard down. If there’s something that your partner has been wanting to do, be willing to give it a try; you could surprise yourself and love it. Talking about intimacy can be physiologically arousing to both partners.

Say I love you now and then… out loud! Love should never be hushed or rushed. Kiss some more – a long lasting kiss this time. Have quiet, intimate conversation. Return to the beginning. Recreate the excitement of your first encounter. Talking about business and the kids are off limits. Sharing humor and laughing together will help you feel closer and wull remind you how much you care about your partner. Take a few photos to preserve the memories you are making. You are going to wonder why you didn’t come up with this idea yourself.

If you think your adventures between the sheets needs a wake-up call, creating a “Wonderama” should do the trick. It’s a passionate, intimate, emotional outlet and a way to become closer to your partner. By the way… you decide… sex doesn’t have to be the happy ending to this delicious night together. You want your partner to be focusing specifically on you and looking forward to your next rendezvous together. Don’t follow a script or try to guess how this might end up. Discard your expectations and just let whatever happens happen. Let Love lead the way. Enjoy each other like you did when you first met. It’s important to keep the intimate part of your relationship at the top of your romantic bucket list.

If the spirit (or whatever) moves you, you have my permission to go “all the way!” (wink, wink)

Time now to rest and fall asleep in each other’s arms. Now… wasn’t that fun?

Have breakfast in bed!

BONUS Articles: It’s Time to Get Serious About Sex! ~ Video
How a Trip to the Grocery Store Can Feed Your Sex Life – (Guys! Pay Attention!)
Know What Turns You On
Discover Your Partner’s Hot Buttons!
Touch for Two

commentCLoveLOGOCopyright © 2013 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com

Friday, July 12, 2013

Are You Taking Care of YOU?

You are #1!

Don’t feel that way? Perhaps you should take better care of you.

frazzledYou can begin by saying “no” to anything that is not important to you. You don’t have to give any excuses or defend yourself. Friends may expect you to give an excuse, but you don’t have to do it. Make your own choices. Assert your right to say, “No, and thanks for asking.”

We often get so wrapped up in our everyday life that we forget that if we don’t take care of ourselves, who is going to do that?

Things are piling up. You just don’t have enough time to do the things that must be done. Relax. It’s okay to ask for and accept help. It is easy to overlook what is probably the most important step that can ease the stress of a stressful life and that is: taking better care of you. Never neglect yourself. Take a nap in the middle of the day. Read a “good” self-help book.

You must accept that you can’t do or be it all. Everything is not always up to you. Eat your veggies. Get enough rest. Exercise.

You also must learn to do what makes you feel energized and happy. What makes you smile? Seek more of that.

“Mindfulness develops attention, concentration and the ability to simply be present with little or no future orientation, past orientation or goal orientation – choosing to be a human being rather than a human doing.” ~ Ian Gawler, Paul Bedson

We can all come up with excuses about why we are too busy to take care of ourselves. It’s time to rethink the reasons, not the excuses. Excuses let you off the hook. Often it seems like there is not enough time to meet all of life’s demands. Sometimes there may be an occasional moment when there is a legitimate reason, but your job – if you decide to accept it – is to stop coming up with excuses and stop looking for reasons not to take care of you and to turn that all around so that you can begin paying attention to “your” needs. This might seem easier said than done, but if you stay on the path you are on… well… let’s not go there!

Here are a few ideas that will help you break loose:

• Get enough sleep. Sleep has a big impact on mood disorders. Depression can set in. Not good.
• Take a long nature walk by yourself. Stop under a tree and just watch the squirrels. Hug a tree (when no one is looking).
• Lethargy be gone. Get moving. Being a couch potato and watching endless TV shows is not good for you. Just 30 minutes of exercise most days of the week can make a significant difference. Choose more active activities.
• Give up your toxic friends. You know, the ones that suck the life out of you. Make a choice to limit your exposure to people like that.
Woman getting a back massage in front of the white background• Make some new friends and stay connected with them. Join a health club or book club; something that will keep your interest. Intentionally go out of your way to meet new people.
• Go shopping for some new perfume.
• Eat right, choose fruit, a variety of veggies and whole-grain snacks whenever possible.
• Take a hot bath or shower. Focus of the feeling of the water on your body. Shake the tension loose.
• Meditate. Turn off your brain for 30 minutes. Can’t do 30 minutes? Do 15 minutes. Meditation helps you to quiet your mind and to separate you from your thoughts. Be aware of your breathing. Stop, breathe in for a count or 8, breathe out for a count of 8. Try it 8 times. You will feel a restoration of calm.
• Visit a landmark or memorial in your city and take notes. Discover more information about it by doing a Google search later.
• Educate yourself on something you would like to know more about. Look up a word in the dictionary that you’ve heard used but do not know the meaning.
• Everyday focus some time on laughter. Watch a funny video or TV show. Have lunch with a friend who will agree to a “laughing lunch;” one where you each bring 5 of the funniest jokes you can find and take turns making each other laugh. You could to this at a private picnic if you are afraid of looking silly to the lunch crowd. 😉
• Get a 2-hour massage or spa treatment. Yes, 2 hours! Massage can help you sleep better, increase your immunity, decrease pain, anxiety, PMS and depression. Plus, it causes you to feel real good.
• Attend a spiritual service.

“You can think of spirituality as connecting to whatever you consider meaningful and holy. You can find it in God, in yourself, in other people, in nature, art or kindness. Whatever you focus on, spirituality offers many possible benefits, including better mood, less anxiety and depression-and even fewer aches and illnesses.” ~ Jeff Levin, PhD, adjunct professor of psychiatry & behavioral sciences at Duke University Medical Center and author of “God, Faith, and Health: Exploring the Spirituality-Healing Connection

eatingchocolate• Give up your lack of self care excuses. Make a “I’m taking care of me” daily list and keep to it.
• Eat some chocolate! 😉

This from my friend, Connie Kadansky, Sales Call Reluctance Coach: Take yourself on a “date” – just you – and do something that you have always wanted to do; hike a particular trail, go to a museum, simply go to the library for an hour, go eat food that you have never eaten before, go to a movie by yourself and eat all the popcorn you can eat, go to Costco and buy a dozen socks and a case of water then donate them to a homeless shelter. Have fun!

Choose one of more of the ideas above to focus on each day or make some up of your own. Create a sense of urgency to begin today! Making the decision to really take care of you is the hardest part. Once you’ve made the decision… the rest will fall into place. A daily self-nurturing item is simple in nature, and consists of creating a habit of devoting time daily to this important activity. It’s powerful and uplifting. Live your life well. When you feel good about the things that you are making happen in your life, you will feel motivated and full of energy.

And guess what? Everything around you – including your relationships – will appear to get better. The secret is, it’s always and only you that is changing. AND that affects everyone around you. Are you up for that?

BONUS Articles: 55 Gentle Ways to Take Care of Yourself When You’re Busy Busy Busy

CLoveLOGOCopyright © 2013 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com

Monday, April 16, 2012

Touch for Two

Filed under: Having FUN,Intimacy,Massage,Physical Intimacy — Larry James @ 7:00 am
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“Phew! Glad that day is over.” Have you ever felt like that?

monkeymassage

Even monkeys do it!

You can tame your tension with a partner massage. When you’ve had a rough day, take some time to rest and take turns giving each other a gentle, loving massage. A romantic massage for two works wonders. The skin is the largest sensory organ in the body. This is why a massage can be a very personal way to show affection for your partner. At the end of the day take time out to relax each other with a sensual full body massage.

Everyone likes getting a massage. And even more so if it’s done by a person whom they trust, since a massage can be a very intimate thing. Massage is a great way to relieve stress and channel positive energy through to your partner.

Set the mood. Before you begin, take a few moments to relax your body and your mind. Create a comfy environment by lighting some candles and playing soft music. Customized your massage for two with champagne, chocolate covered strawberries, and rose petals. This is a great massage to do in the bedroom, after a relaxing hot bath or shower. Wait! That’s another great idea! Shower or take a hot bath together.

hotbathAn experience that does so much good deserves to be shared. Massage oil is used for decreasing friction on the skin, and for the warming effect. Use a light vegetable or seed oil to nourish the skin warming it between your hands before massaging. The purpose of the oils is two-fold. They smell good and they reduce the friction between your hands and your partner’s skin. Have towels close by to wipe off excess massage oil. It is also important to cover the areas that you have already massaged so that the body heat you will have generated won’t escape and give your partner a chill.

Build momentum. Use relaxing strokes. Start by using gentle warming strokes, gradually adding more pressure. Work one area at a time. Rather than relying on just arm or hand strength, use your body weight to work out tension areas.

couple-massageIt’s not enough just to light a scented candle; make sure your environment is clean and uncluttered. Be prepared. Privacy is important. Lock the doors. Decide on a place where you can be sure of your privacy and will not have peeping toms or kids to worry about. Dim the lights. Make it romantic by replacing lights with candles. Turn off your phones. Keep everything you need close to you. Once you begin the massage you do not want to be distracted. Continually starting and stopping the massage will ruin the moment. Make sure you’ve set up the room just how you want it. Don’t worry about a perfect massage. Think about your partner and let your fingers do the loving.

Beyond the obvious physical relaxation benefits it can cause you to feel closer. A good massage also increases blood circulation and the flow of feel-good hormones. Alternate massaging each other from the neck and shoulders down to the legs and toes.

Have something to drink close by, as people tend to be thirsty after a good rubdown. Take the time to discuss the great moment the two of you just shared. It’s called “afterglow” and should always be a part of a good massage. The communication will not only make the massage feel great, but will strengthen your bond. Enjoy this special moment by talking or seeing where your soothed mood takes you.

BONUS Article: 5 Things You Should Never Do When Massaging

CLoveLOGOCopyright © 2012 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com

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