Are you just going through the routines of marriage without really enjoying the journey? It’s time to sample the flavor of FUN! You lose your sparkle when you don’t allow yourself to have fun. Do something ridiculously fun – look, if you’re not happy today, the fastest way to cure that is to just go have fun. Don’t feel guilty. Don’t make excuses. When was the last time you kicked back and had an awesome time? Most couples know their marriages are happier when they make time to have fun. It’s time to put more fun in your marriage or relationship.
Virtually every couple wants to keep their romance alive and fresh with fun things to do with one another. However, as life gets busy, fun seems to be one of the first thing to disappear. Never stop doing the things that brought you together in the first place!
Everyone I know is busy, but we should make sure our schedule never gets so crowded that we cannot enjoy time with the love of our life. Many couples plan their fun for the weekends. That’s great. As a couple how do you avoid the struggles of the daily grind? Quick answer: Be passionate about having FUN! Whatever activity you choose, keep in mind that the main objective is to have fun.
Ruts are normal. Nearly all couples face them at one time or another, explains Alisa Bowman, author of Project: Happily Ever After. Most of us don’t evaluate or even notice when our other relationships – friendships, siblings, parents – get into ruts, but we constantly evaluate the health of our romantic relationships. “It’s important to notice a rut, because it’s often the first symptom that you are growing apart,” Bowman says. “But ruts are not terminal, and they can actually be quickly overcome.” Kiss hello before doing anything else when you get home. Kiss good-bye when you leave. Stay out of a rut by having more fun!
Be an everyday FUN activist! Laugh together. Lighten up. Tease each other. It will give the relationship you have with yourself and your partner a big boost.
“We don’t quit playing because we grow older, we grow older because we quit playing.” ~ Oliver Wendell Holmes
Life gets busy and it can be hard to find time together, much less finding time to try new things. If the romance has faded, add both mystery and surprise because they mimic the emotional state of a new romance. I repeat – Never stop doing the things that brought you together in the first place!
To be consistent in doing this, you must make a commitment to you – set a goal to do so. Write your commitment down and pin it somewhere that has you notice it everyday. This will add new dimension, excitement and texture to your relationship.
Be creative in doing this. I’m a big list person and I recommend that you begin making a list. Let your mind run wild. Not just things that might be fun as you navigate through your crazy daily routine but things that you take the time to plan. Create a big vision of fun things to do together. If you haven’t been planning a little fun during your regular “daze” this could be a challenge and take a high degree of intention.
It helps to prioritize your marriage. Plan a weekly date together where the focus is to have fun and enjoy each other’s company. When you first began dating, you likely had many opportunities to fully enjoy each other’s company. We suggest you recreate those possibilities no matter how long you have been together. It’s a fact that couples who anticipate and participate in “exciting” date nights showed a significantly greater increase in marital satisfaction.
Make sure some of your fun include some laughter. Gentle pranks are always fun, but don’t get carried away. Safe is better than sorry.
Place an unexpected phone call to your sweetheart just to say, “I love you,” or “I was just thinking about you.” Learn to say “I Love You” in different languages and say it when they least expect it. Those three words never get old.
Create a “Bucket List” of fun things to do! Brainstorm together. Try for 100 new ideas. Stretch yourself. Focus on fun. Make plans to do something so you can look forward to it. Anticipate. Children are basically happy when they are having fun and looking forward to more fun. Be a kid again.
“Couples who know how to play and have fun together develop a bonding that can carry them through the most difficult of times,” writes Dr. Steve Stephens in his book, ‘Blueprints for a Solid Marriage.’ “When people get older and when they’ve been married longer, they just become boring,” Stephens says. “It’s not that they mean to get boring, it’s just that they haven’t intentionally figured out what would be something fun to do.”
Do yourself a favor. If you have children, allow them to see the two of you having fun. Occasionally make them a part of your funday. Family activities can show children how the parents react with each other. By the way, it’s okay to plan for alone time fun with each other as long as you plan some family fun time too. Loan out the kids. When you and your spouse do want a night alone, you can turn to your friends for your babysitting needs. Then, when they want a night out, you can offer to do the same for them.
Never allow yourself get so caught up in what you do day to day that you forget to have a little fun each and every day. Remember: It takes two people – both totally committed to making the marriage great.
It takes work to reignite the passion in your relationship. So next time you plan a fun date night, think about the elements of newness, novelty and the element of surprise. It’s important to spend quality time with the people you love and cherish. Marriage is supposed to be fun! Allow your marriage to soar!
How do you keep the fun in your marriage or relationship?
By the way… it is also wise to devote a few moments each day to yourself.
Let the fun begin!
Copyright © 2015 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.
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