Larry James' CelebrateLove.com BLOG

Monday, March 16, 2015

Detoxify Your Relationships

Many years ago I went on a special cleansing diet for about 6 days so I could become more sensitized to all aspects of my life. For awhile, I had do give up some of the things that were causing me to feel sluggish, etc. The hardest part was identifying and then breaking free of the belief systems and social programming that I had absorbed over my lifetime in order to reveal my true authentic self. I was overeating and my junk food consumption was at an all time high. It was time to detox my body!

The first 4 days were the hardest. I had headaches from withdrawal from caffeine. However after the 6th day and beyond, I began to make better choices because I felt terrific. I gave up those things that I recognized that were hurting my body, mind and spirit.

RELdetoxBefore you try to detoxify your relationships, be sure to take a good look at yourself. Typically, once you detoxify your relationship with yourself, you will be able to evaluate your other relationships with ease.

Every relationship goes through ups and downs, however, if your partner is always putting you down, criticizing and making fun of you in front of your friends, perhaps a relationship detox is in order or the extreme… a fresh start!

Re-examine your relationship! Dump any destructive drama that’s going on in your life. Do you fight, make up, then fight again? Do you feel “not listened to?” You think those kind of people are your friends, but most don’t actually exude any qualities of a true friendship. If you feel stuck, worn down and unsupported or you wonder why your best friend isn’t the person you can count on when you need support, you may be in a toxic relationship.

You deserve someone who will demonstrate their love for you; someone who is honest and trustworthy.

Here are the seven secrets Dr. Brenda Wade, Psychologist and author, has taught to thousands of people. Use them to start ridding yourself of old, toxic habits and begin to replace them with new, healthy patterns.

7 Secrets to Detoxify Your Relationships

1. Respect ~ This is where we begin and end in any healthy relationship. The 7 Secrets actually spell out the word “respect.” This is one of the most important tools I teach. I’m giving it to you here because along with Dr. Oz, I am committed to your health and well-being, and relationships are a cornerstone of both.

2. Extend ~ Become a better person by upgrading your listening and expressing skills. It’s never too late to learn how to make your relationships better.

3. Solid ~ Step on solid ground by remembering the good times you’ve shared and the special qualities you both have. Focus on the solid foundation you’ve built. What we focus on expands and becomes stronger.

4. Peace ~ This means letting go and forgiving. Once you’ve communicated and solved an issue, bury it and don’t dig it up again.

5. Expect ~ Use the power of expectation to set clear positive goals in your relationship and expect to reach them. Practice seeing your goal already completed with your inner eye. This exercise pulls you forward toward the goal.

6. Communicate ~ There are three parts to healthy, non-toxic communication. Express feelings as opposed to blaming. Use, “I feel” instead of “You never” or “It’s your fault.” Make a request. Ask for what you would like or need without guilt tripping or manipulating. Listen deeply.

7. Tops ~ Top it off by showing extra acts of acceptance, kindness and loving support.

There is no easy way to detox our relationships. Because it isn’t a matter of neutralizing a toxic person, but disengaging from a toxic bond. Letting go might be another word for it. If you really want to stop them from upsetting you, you need to take charge. Sometimes you know a relationship or friendship isn’t working, but you’ve invested so much time and effort you just keep it going. If the relationship is depleting to you, it might be wise to create boundaries to maintain your sense of self-worth or begin to distance yourself from the one who is.

You have choices and you get to decide what is and what isn’t acceptable treatment from the people in your life. If it’s not okay, do something about it. Don’t wait for them to change first. That isn’t likely to happen.

BONUS Articles: Relationship Detox
Detox Your Relationships

Larry’s NOTE: The 7 Secrets to Detoxify Your Relationships (above) is copyrighted by Dr. Brenda Wade!

CLoveLOGOCopyright © 2015 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

commentSubscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Wednesday, December 10, 2014

Is it Time to Push the “Reset” Button?

If your relationship is not gaining ground… you could begin again (with the same partner)!

Be warned: Once a choice is made to end the relationship no amount of coaching, no communication techniques will make the relationship work unless – you and your partner make the decision that you want to have a relationship with your partner and decide how you want to make it work. If you can make that decision then you have taken the first brave step toward a new and exciting future together.

ReSetIn relationships, you get do-overs! In between there and back to normal, is forgiveness, and then it’s making new promises, designing new intentions and doing whatever it takes to make it work. That’s right, “whatever it takes!” Be determined to push through the rough times together.

We’ll call this do over, “pushing the reset button.” It’s beginning again with a serious intention to keep your commitments, no matter what. It’s a corrective phase that you move into only when you are both willing.

You should know this by now: “This is the only way it will work!” Do nothing… nothing changes!

You spoil everything when you promise to “change” then go back to doing the same old stuff that caused the problem in the first place. There was no change in behavior. Your actions spoke louder than your words. You can change your thinking, however, nothing significantly happens until you change your behavior.

When you are both in agreement and you hit reset, you start all over. You begin again! Forgive the things behind you and ‪press forward. There is no “forgive and forget!” You may remember, and when you do you must also remember that you have forgiven. Once forgiven, there is nothing else to go back to or to concern yourself about. You both promise not to allow those things to corrupt your relationship ever again.

‬It’s time to make new promises, keep them and never renege. Together you must focus on the future and let go of the past. It’s time to get to know each other. Allow your partner to get to know you, really know you. Remember, knowing another person is a complicated matter. The process of becoming genuinely intimate is both scary and challenging. It requires patience, letting go of the things you cannot change and celebrating your differences. It takes a commitment to adjust, alter and accommodate for one another. It means learning together, more about what it takes to genuinely Love someone and confidently know that they love you.

reset-300x293Would that make your day better?

“The only caveat is, the button isn’t magical. It’s not like waving a magic wand and your life changes in the blink of an eye. By pressing this button you agree to think and act differently, to have that picture of your ideal life in your mind’s eye, then start thinking and acting as if you are living that life right now. Put your hand on your heart and vow to do whatever it takes to change your life.” ~ Laurie Hayes

Resetting a relationship requires you to give it serious mental and creative energy in the slowing down and starting over. Now that you’ve read this article, you know one way or another that what you must do. If you are absolutely miserable, unfulfilled, and not being true to yourself, return from the dark side and step into the Light. A brighter future together is possible!

Now… have a intimate conversation with your partner about beginning again. If you took the first step, what would your relationships look like? If you need help, call the Coach!

BONUS Articles: 74 Ways to Push the Reset Button
Five Promises of Radical Commitment
Together… Until the Love Runs Out

CLoveLOGOCopyright © 2014 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

commentSubscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
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Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com
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Saturday, August 16, 2014

10 Steps to Peace Within!

Aine Belton, Guest Author

1. Acceptance ~ Take a moment to accept yourself, life and others just as you/it/they are.”

With acceptance comes peace. What’s more, as you accept yourself as you are, you more easily let go of what you’re not. Same goes for others.

It’s what you resist that persists, and judgment only compounds anything it judges.

PeaceWithinAccept yourself for who and where you are right now. Accept all of you – the light and dark, strengths and weaknesses – and open to more of the beautiful loving nature of your true self.

Acceptance helps with letting go, puts you back in flow, makes you more open and free to be more of who you are, and brings positive transformation.

By acceptance I don’t mean turning a blind eye to, tolerating or putting up with something that feels inappropriate to you (see responsibility below for more on that). It can, however, be a great first step on any path of healing and change and the peace that comes through that.

2. Letting Go ~ Holding on to anything, be that a person, situation, an expectation of how things should be, the past, etc., can stand in the way of peace. Perhaps you fear letting go because of feared consequences around that, but what I suggest is:

In letting go you can only ever win; if something’s for your best it will come back, else something better will.”

Control, a lack of trust in yourself or faith in the unfoldment of life and events, may also hinder a natural letting go that can be part of any change in life – change that may be for your best whether you realize that at the time or not.

Things you can let go of for greater peace include negative beliefs and stories (about yourself, life or others), un-serving thoughts, feelings, attitudes, habits, behaviours, situations, grievances, and any painful pasts.

What can you let go of today for greater peace in your life? Perhaps it’s fear, guilt, anger, pain, shame, blame, judgment, etc. Letting go will create the space for a new birth in your life. One thing that helps with letting go is forgiveness, shared next.

3. Forgiveness ~ Forgiveness of self and others is like a mind-body-soul detox. It liberates you from toxic emotions and draining attachments. Forgiving yourself also helps resolve guilt, shame and feelings of undeserving that can otherwise block peace and happiness. Forgiveness returns you to love and truth, is an immensely powerful force for healing and transformation, and a beautiful gift to give yourself or another.

4. Suspend Judgment ~ Judgment will always stand in the way of peace. Judging others, or yourself, lowers your energy and separates you from love and joy. Having an opinion isn’t the same as being judgmental.

What you judge in another may be something you secretly judge in yourself that you have not yet owned and are projecting outwards, what you have yet forgiven in yourself or others, or of beliefs you hold – that you can change. Use judgment as a means to become more conscious of yourself and inner beliefs, stories, repressed aspects of self possibly, and hidden agendas.

The more you love and accept yourself, the less you will judge others or be affected by judgments of others and the more at peace you will be.

When you judge you project your shadows onto others, when you love you project your light.”

5. Trust ~ Trust is a great ally of peace, and a potent anti-dote to fear which so often stands in the way of peace.

Trust yourself and your power as a creator and that you have what it takes. Trust in a loving universe that is on your side. Trust the doors that are opening and the ones that are closing. Relinquish control and allow yourself to be carried along a river of trust and flow towards bright realities aligned to your highest purpose with grace and ease.

Trust that you are on a co-creative journey, that there is a bigger picture, and that there is love, help and guidance available to you in every moment. Trust that the universe wants you to have what you desire as much as you do. Trust that you are loved more than you know, more than you will ever know!

Life doesn’t have to be a struggle. You can have what you desire with belief, intention, positive expectation, knowing you deserve (which you always do) and a willingness to receive.

Trust brings a sense of peace, ease, faith and confidence, and lessens any desire to control or have things be a certain way. If there is an area of your life you are fearful or doubtful around, lean into trust, embrace it, and let it embrace and carry you.

You deserve the best, ever and always, whether you realise that or not. The universe wants the best for you in every moment. You are the only one who can stand in your way.

Have faith and hope in your heart. Hold bright visions of the future, make positive choices for yourself from that bright future, and commit to those through action.

6. Feel your Feelings ~ Harboring constricting emotions obviously blocks inner peace. You may need to get in touch with and release those feelings first. This may mean moving through repressed pain, hurt, rage, guilt, loss, etc. to the peace that awaits on the other side.

I’ve no doubt you’ve experienced that deep sense of calm that comes after a big emotional release. If you are trying to stuff emotions down, instead let them move through you, you won’t feel at peace. There are emotional release techniques of many different kinds are available these days – EFT, energy healing, the Release Technique and Sedona Method.

Simply feeling your feelings is a powerful way to release them!

Repressing emotions, trying to control them, being scared or judgmental of them, obviously disturbs peace. Honour your emotions and listen to what they are telling you about what’s going on inside. If they are negative or uncomfortable, what thoughts, beliefs or stories are they pointing to that may need changing or releasing?

Expressing your feelings rather than denying or repressing them brings healing and release. By this I don’t mean wallowing in them or giving them undue attention if they don’t serve you (i.e. nip that self-pity in the bud!), nor do I mean dumping them on another under the banner of being honest and authentic – take responsibility for your impact.

Benefits-of-MeditationAs part of releasing your feelings you may want to write them down, share them with a friend, or express them through creativity.

When it comes to emotions don’t skirt in the shallows; dive in deep, get wet, let their currents be fully felt.”

7. Meditate ~ Meditation has so many benefits, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and even physically, as science is now proving. Meditation allows the conscious ‘monkey mind’ to still, brings calm and clearer perspectives and dissipates negative energy, allowing stress to wash away as you come to centre and connect to more of what’s real – more of the true nature of your being and the loving voice of your Higher Self – the spiritual being that you really are.

Meditating creates an opportunity to raise your consciousness, connect to your heart, honour the sacred (in you, and the Source of All, whatever name you hold for that), and for your energy to renew, recharge and to ‘plug-in’ to higher awareness and clearer more balanced and loving perspectives.

8. Take Responsibility ~ Responsibility brings freedom and empowerment, and with that comes peace. It shifts you out of victim mode, blame and resentment, for example, all of which block inner peace. The more you take responsibility for your life, the better able you feel to change it.

When you blame and complain you remain the same; responsibility brings freedom and change.”

You create or allow your experience at some level, whether you are aware of that and the roots and whys or not.

Become aware of the thoughts, feelings, beliefs, attitudes and choices that are creating your reality. Take responsibility for them and choose those that serve you. Shift the gears of your focus from fear and problems to solutions and desired outcomes, from blame to gain, wounded to winner, falling to soaring.

One of the swiftest ways to empower your life is to start realizing that you are its author and get writing a new script!”

9. Know You Are Loved ~ You are loved by people in your world, by your Higher Self How much do you let that love in? You are also loved totally and unconditionally by the Source of Creation, whatever name you hold for that. If you don’t walk a spiritual path, imagine there is a part of you that loves you totally and unconditionally, beyond reasons and seasons. This love is available to you in any moment and requires only your willingness to receive. There is nothing you need do to win this love, and nothing you can do to lose it. Open and allow this love in; the love that wants to be given in every moment. With that will come great peace.

Start by allowing in the possibility that you are loved totally and unconditionally right now, just as you are. You are loved more than you will ever know, in ways beyond that which you may be able to even currently comprehend.

Opening to the love that is always there for you helps you experience more of your true value, worth and inherent deserving, dissolves fear and heals pain of separation.

You are loved beyond reasons, you are loved beyond seasons, unconditionally, eternally, you are loved. “

10. Love, Love, Love! ~ Love yourself and others. There may be times this is easier than others – make it an overriding intention. On a path to love you may need to process what’s in the way of that love – pain, fear, sorrow, etc. Accept yourself wherever you’re at. Then affirm your willingness and permission to love yourself and others. There may be some people you choose to love from a distance, yet that love is still a valuable energy nonetheless.

The beauty with love is, whether near or far, you can love from wherever you are.”

Love lies at the heart of all that you seek, and separation from it at the root of your troubles and pain. Let love be a guiding light in your life that will steer your ship back to the shores of peace, happiness and joy. We all love to love and be loved. It doesn’t get better than that!

BONUS Article: Forgiveness… What’s it For?
An Affirmation for Letting Go
Faith and Trust… You Must Have Both!
Validate Your Partner’s Feelings

AineBelton

Copyright © 2014 – Aine Belton. Aine Belton is a visionary transformation expert, writer, speaker and facilitator in the spiritual fields. Having found love to be the most potent healer in her own life and that of others’ she launched the Global Love Project and its various initiatives as platforms and opportunities for opening to and celebrating humanitarian love. You can read a collection of Aine Belton’s articles at: www.globalloveproject.com/articles-by-aine-belton. The Global Love Project is a platform for honoring and celebrating humanitarian love, with numerous facets, initiatives, free resources, inspiration and events.

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CLoveLOGOLarry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

commentSubscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
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Friday, July 11, 2014

Encore Article ~ An Affirmation for Letting Go

Filed under: Letting Go — Larry James @ 7:30 am
Tags: ,

Larry’s NOTE: Lately, many of my coaching clients have needed to let go of a relationship. If what you need to let go of is a relationship, this is for you. I wrote this affirmation many years ago when I needed to let go of a troubled relationship. I suggest that you print it and read it the first thing every morning and the last thing at night until you feel you have made the break. I trust that it will assist you for letting go as it did me.

Let-Go-Let-GodI am willing to trust. I know that to the degree I am willing to give up my search for a healthy love relationship, I can have it. I know I can have whatever I am ready and willing to receive. Individual receptivity is everything. Without it, nothing changes. With it, all things are possible. I no longer insist upon my choice.

I know that the only thing I lose when I let go of something I am afraid to live without is the fear itself. I am stronger than anything that frightens me!

I let go of the past, and I am free to think clearly and positively in the present. I am not my past.

Letting go is the natural release which always follows the realization that holding on is an energy drain and it hurts. Letting go happens effortlessly when there is no other choice. Letting go does not mean giving up.

LoveNote… A life without love in it is like a heap of ashes upon a deserted hearth — with the fire dead, the laughter stilled, and the light extinguished. – Frank P. Tebbetts

Letting go is a journey that never ends. Never. It only begins — over and over again — each time I can glimpse something higher than my own painful certainty over who I think I am. There is always something higher; a life beyond the limits of my present sight.

To see what is farther I must be willing to lift my eyes from their present point of focus. Release always follows revelation and real revelation is always a glimpse of something that was only just out of sight.

I know that stress in my love relationship exists because I insist! What I resist, persists. I am tied to whatever I avoid.

LoveNote… The heart loves, but moods have no loyalty. Moods should be heard but never danced to. – Hugh Prather

It is a mistaken belief that I must push my love relationship in the direction I choose that keeps me in a strained and unhappy relationship with it. Reality has its own effortless course, and I can either embrace its way or struggle endlessly with mine.

I do not need power to flow.

I let go of that part of myself that is certain it is better to suffer and feel like someone than it is to just let go and quietly be no one. I give birth to a new me that never has to hold on to anything because it is already everything.

I dare to walk away from all of the familiar but useless mental and emotional relationships that give me a temporary but unsatisfactory sense of self. My true identity is calling me and to hear it I must be willing to endure, for as long as necessary, the fear of self-uncertainty.

This form of seeming self-abandonment eventually turns into my greatest pleasure as it becomes increasingly evident that the only thing certain about fear is that it will always compromise me. When it comes to who I really am, there is no compromise.

Let go of the past. The past is yesterday. It is irretrievable. When you relate to the past, you relate to no one or any thing. You are literally talking to yourself. No one else is listening. You have already heard all you have to say about that, so, let go.

A Course in Miracles says, “You cannot really not let go what has already gone. It must be, therefore, that you are maintaining the illusion that it has not gone because you think it serves some purpose that you want fulfilled.”

It is certifiable insanity to conjure up my own reality based on the past and relate to it, rather than to relate to the present which is the only reality.

LoveNote… Relationships are part of a vast plan for our enlightenment, the Holy Spirit’s blueprint by which each individual soul is led to greater awareness and expanded love. Relationships are the Holy Spirit’s laboratories in which he brings together people who have the maximal opportunity for mutual growth. – Marianne Williamson

I say goodbye to the past and hello to the present.

I am enthusiastic about who I am becoming! I know that no one sincerely asks for a new life until they are thoroughly dissatisfied with the old one. I am and I let go. When I allow myself to let go of what is old, I stay true to what is new.

I believe that as with all insight, higher understanding itself contains not only the instructions I must follow, but the strength I will need to carry them out.

Starting life over again is the key to a new me. I see the beauty and significance of starting over – over and over and over. Every present moment is always new and new is always right now! The new dies to the ever-new in an endless celebration of Life.

This is it!

I live in the present. I never let the past dictate the direction of the present moment. I give my best to my endeavors.

What lies ahead for me can only be good.

True peace and harmony are a part of who I am.

I have come to the realization that what is possible for me to become only truly changes when I am willing to see what is impossible for me to continue being.

My true nature is already fully independent and flying freely. I have found my wings.

I let go and let God. And so it is.

Thank you, Father!

LoveNote… He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is Love. – I John 4:8

BONUS Articles:See You At the Beach!
At the Beach. . . Alone Again

CLoveLOGOCopyright © 2014 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

commentSubscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com

Monday, December 23, 2013

How to Let Go of People Who You No Longer Need, or Want

Filed under: Letting Go — Larry James @ 7:30 am
Tags: , , , ,

Dana Saviuc, Guest Author

One of the hardest things in life is to let go of the people we love the most.

We hold on to those close to us so tightly, fearing that without them we will be nothing. Fearing that without them the love we feel in our hearts will be forever lost.

LetGO“Some birds are not meant to be caged, that’s all. Their feathers are too bright, their songs too sweet and wild. So you let them go, or when you open the cage to feed them they somehow fly out past you. And the part of you that knows it was wrong to imprison them in the first place rejoices, but still, the place where you live is that much more drab and empty for their departure.” ~ Stephen King

Our attachment interferes with the love we have for them, taking away from the purity and the beauty that love has to offer.

Deepak Chopra says it best with these words: “Love allows your beloved the freedom to be unlike you. Attachment asks for conformity to your needs and desires. Love imposes no demands. Attachment expresses an overwhelming demand – “Make me feel whole.” Love expands beyond the limits of two people. Attachment tries to exclude everything but two people.”

I have been in a relationship with my former long-time boyfriend for almost 10 years, on and off and even though our relationship became very toxic after the first 3 years, I found it impossible to let go simply because I knew that without him I would be very unhappy and the irony is that I was already very unhappy, we both were.

“No matter how much suffering you went through, you never wanted to let go of those memories.” ~ Haruki Murakami

Letting go doesn’t have to be that hard, in fact, it becomes easier and easier as we learn to accept, appreciate and love ourselves for who we are and for who we are not.

Releasing and letting go will help you return to a place of peace and tranquility.

There comes a time in our lives when we have to do what’s right and to honor not only ourselves, but also the people around us. It’s the relationship that you are letting go of but not the love you have for the other person.

If you love something, if you love someone, and if you feel that you need to let go of them, if it’s required to let go, do it. It might hurt at first but once the pain is gone you will feel more alive than you have ever felt. You will start to see things from a totally different perspective and you will understand that letting go is a sign of strength, of courage and of great love.

You let go of someone not because you no longer care, not because you no longer need and want them in your life, but because you understand that they will be happier someplace else. You will be happy someplace else.

This is what true love is all about.

Real love transcends the material plane and no matter if your bodies are apart, your souls will forever be connected.

“There is no such thing as a “broken family.” Family is family, and is not determined by marriage certificates, divorce papers, and adoption documents. Families are made in the heart. The only time family becomes null is when those ties in the heart are cut. If you cut those ties, those people are not your family. If you make those ties, those people are your family. And if you hate those ties, those people will still be your family because whatever you hate will always be with you.” ~ C. JoyBell C.

If you haven’t found a way to be at peace with yourself, and if you haven’t found a way to be happy on your own, chances are that you won’t be happy next the person you love either. You can’t expect to get from others what you yourself don’t have to offer.

Love yourself. Be good to yourself.

Change the thoughts you think and the words you speak. Purify your internal dialogue. Learn to talk to, and about, yourself in the same way you would talk to, and about, those you love the most.

Meditate. Spend time alone. Take a walk and explore nature with your senses. Write about your thoughts and feelings. Do something you’re passionate about. Go out with your friends. Laugh, dance, be silly, be weird, be playful, be childlike. Do all the things that bring you joy and laughter.

Treat yourself with kindness, love and compassion and learn to express your gratitude for the many gifts life offered you up until this moment.

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Take your focus away from those things that cause you to feel pain, stress, anxiety, fear and unhappiness, on to those things that make your heart sing, on to those things that make you happy.

This too shall pass and the more you learn to enjoy your own company, the more comfortable you will be with this idea of letting go and all of a sudden life will become a lot easier.

“Be like the forces of nature: when it blows, there is only wind; when it rains, there is only rain; when the clouds pass, the sun shines through.” ~ Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching

Let go and trust that maybe life has better plans for you. Go with the flow and not against it.

Why hold on to something good when life wants you to have something better?

“Sometimes you’ve got to let everything go – purge yourself. If you are unhappy with anything… whatever is bringing you down, get rid of it. Because you’ll find that when you’re free, your true creativity, your true self comes out.” ~ Tina Turner

Are you holding on to something or someone you need to let go of? Why? What keep you from letting go? You can share your comment by joining the conversation in the comment section below.

BONUS Articles: There is Peace in Release
The Secret of Letting Go
Letting Go!

danaCopyright © 2013 – Dana Saviuc. When nobody’s watching, I pretend I’m a moon sprite; transcendent, effervescent, ever curious. Yet my birth certificate says I’m a human born in Romania. Oh well. I’m an enthusiastic student of the arts, economics, psychology and spirituality – and I take great pleasure in shining light on life’s hidden truths, the paradoxes that both stare us in the face and hide from us in unison, as they silently shape our every waking moment. Visit Dana’s Blog and her Facebook page.

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CLoveLOGOLarry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
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Tuesday, November 5, 2013

Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!

Filed under: Happiness,Letting Go,Relationships — Larry James @ 7:30 am
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Try this: Laugh about anything or nothing for 30 seconds each day.

If you must, force yourself. Don’t be a sourpuss. Drive yourself happy.

LOLIt doesn’t take long for a put-on outburst of laughter to become the real thing – the kind of laughter where your side hurts, your eyes water, you can’t catch your breath and your body’s totally spent. The sound of roaring laughter is far more contagious than any cough, sniffle, or sneeze.

“I believe that if people can get more laughter in their lives, they are a lot better off. They might be healthier too. The effects of laughter and exercise are very similar. Combining laughter and movement, like waving your arms, is a great way to boost your heart rate.” ~ Steve Wilson, MA, CSP, a psychologist and laugh therapist.

Redevelop your sense of humor. Demonstrate an abundance of smiles for your partner. It’s catching. Laughter is a powerful antidote to stress, pain, and conflict. Feeling stressed… laughter decreases stress. Nothing works faster or more dependably to bring your mind and body back into balance than a good laugh. More giggles and guffaws are just what the doctor ordered.

If you think you have nothing to laugh about. . . you’re right. Find something to laugh about. Laughing with others is more powerful than laughing alone. Bring humor into conversations. Ask people, “What’s the funniest thing that happened to you today? This week? In your life?”

Hang around happy people! When you surround yourself with people who are always complaining and gossiping, you will find yourself becoming negative and not enjoying life. Shun whiners and complainers. By the way, if it’s your partner you are thinking about right now… just because they are a sourpuss, doesn’t mean that you should allow them to bring you down. Your job is to lift them up with a happy face, a clever remark or a funny joke or video. Send them something funny and add, “I love to see you smile. Let’s rent a funny movie soon, eat popcorn and laugh together! I love you!”

The most effective way to help others become happier very well may be by focusing on becoming happy ourselves. We must realize that everyone is ultimately responsible for their own happiness and simultaneously that everyone exerts a powerful influence on the happiness of those around them. Living with an unhappy person is like living with someone who’s ill: the illness is theirs, but the experience belongs to the caregiver as well. Your partner’s unhappiness is not your own. You may become unhappy in response to their unhappiness, but your unhappiness then becomes your responsibility. Happiness is a choice!

“Learn to enjoy every minute of your life. Be happy now. Don’t wait for something outside of yourself to make you happy in the future. Think how really precious is the time you have to spend, whether it’s at work or with your family. Every minute should be enjoyed and savored.” ~ Earl Nightingale

A simple way to brighten your day is to surround yourself with happy people. Be happy. People want to be around people that make them feel happy and make them forget about their worries.

What you think about and speak about, you bring about. Force yourself to look at the bright side of things for a change.

Researchers are now saying laughter can do a lot more – it can basically bring balance to all the components of the immune system, which helps us fight off diseases. What may surprise you even more is the fact that researchers estimate that laughing 100 times is equal to 10 minutes on the rowing machine or 15 minutes on an exercise bike. Laughing can be like a total body workout!

BONUS Articles: Stress Relief From Laughter? It’s No Joke
When Someone You Love Is Unhappy

CLoveLOGOCopyright © 2013 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

There is Peace in Release

Filed under: Letting Go,Relationships — Larry James @ 7:30 am
Tags: , , , ,

Letting go of past resentments, anger, your past relationships, your ex, etc., is the first step in preparing yourself for a relationship with someone new. Of course, after you have spent some time alone.

LettingGoYou can let go… and must, whether you are looking for another relationship or not. When you don’t let go of all that old baggage from the past, you suffer in silence. And you are most likely not ready for another relationship – even if you do want one – nor will you be until you let go.

Holding on saps you of the energy you need to let go. It will sap the life out of you and keep you from any relationship chances with anyone in the future. It’s not possible to hold on and let go at the same time. You either do one or the other.

More info? Click cover!

Want peace of mind?

There is peace in release!

Just let go!

Larry’s NOTE: If the message of this post touched you, you most likely need to let go of something. Many years ago, I was struggling with letting go of a relationship that I knew was probably not going to end in marriage. But that’s another story. 😉 By accident (Larry’s NOTE #2: There are no accidents!) I stumbled upon a book that helped me let go. There truly is peace in release. I highly recommend you read: “The Secret of Letting Go” by my friend, Guy Finley.

BONUS Article: How to Let Go: The 4 People You Must Forgive

CLoveLOGOCopyright © 2013 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com

Thursday, May 9, 2013

How to Let Go: The 4 People You Must Forgive

Filed under: Forgiveness,Guest Authors,Letting Go,Relationships — Larry James @ 7:30 am
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Brian Tracy, Guest Author

There are four people you need to forgive if you are serious about changing your life and learning how to live in the now.

The first are your parents, living or dead. You must absolutely forgive them for every mistake they ever made in bringing you up. At the very least, you should be grateful to them for giving you life. They got you here. If you are happy to be alive, you can forgive them for everything else. Never complain about them again.

forgiveness2013Many of my seminar participants have phoned or visited their parents and told them that they forgive them for everything. Often this simple act of courage and character has had a profound effect on their relationship with their mother or father. From that day onward, they have become good friends, which lasted the rest of their lives together.

On the other hand, by not forgiving your parents, you remain forever a child. You block your own chance to grow up and become a fully functioning adult. You continue to see yourself as a victim. Even worse, you keep your negative feelings of inferiority and anger alive. If your parents die without your having forgiven them, it can bother you for the rest of your life.

The second person or persons you must forgive are the people from your marriages or relationships that didn’t work out. These intimate relationships can be so intense, and so threatening to your feelings of self-esteem and self-worth, that you can be angry and unforgiving toward those people for years.

But you were at least partially responsible. Have the personal strength and integrity to say, “I am responsible,” and then forgive the other person and let him or her go. Say the words, “I forgive him/her for everything and I wish him/her well.” Each time you repeat this, the negative emotion attached to the memory will diminish. Soon it will be gone forever.

Many of my graduates have found that “the letter” is the key to putting a bad relationship behind them forever. This is a powerful technique that can free you from feelings of anger and resentment almost instantly.

Here is how it works: You to sit down and write the other person a letter of forgiveness. It consists of three parts.

First you say, “I forgive you for everything you ever did that hurt me.”

Second, you write out a description or list of every single thing that you are still mad about. Some people write several pages in this part.

Third, you end the letter with the words, “I wish you well.”

You then take the letter to the mailbox and drop it in. At that moment, you will feel a huge sense of relief, and you will be free at last.

By the way, don’t worry about how the other person might react. That is not your concern. Your goal is to free yourself, to regain your peace of mind, and to get on with the wonderful life that lies ahead of you.

Larry’s NOTE: Depending on the circumstances, I sometimes recommend that after writing the “letter of forgiveness” that you have a brief, private “forgiveness” ceremony in your back yard and instead of sending the letter, burn it! Remembering that forgiveness is a gift you give yourself, this accomplishes the same thing – a feeling of relief. Generally speaking – and again, depending on the circumstances – the person you are forgiving may have moved on with their life and really could care less whether you forgive them or not. It is not as important that they know you forgave them than the peace of mind that forgiveness gives to you.

The third person you must forgive is everyone else in your life who has ever hurt you in any way. Let them go. Forgive every boss, business partner, friend, crook or betrayer who has ever caused you grief of any kind. Clean the slate and forgive to forget. Wipe each of their names and images off by saying, “I forgive him/her for everything, and I wish him/her well.” Repeat this statement each time you think of the person or situation until the negative feelings are gone.

Forgive-YourselfThe fourth and final person you have to forgive is yourself. You must absolutely forgive yourself for every silly, senseless, wicked, brainless, thoughtless or cruel thing you have ever done or said. Stop carrying these past mistakes around with you. That was then and this is now.

Think of it this way. When you did those things in the past that you still feel badly about, you were not the person you are today. At that time, you were a different person, younger and less experienced. You were not your true self. You were an immature version of the person you have become with experience. Stop beating yourself up for something that occurred in the past that you cannot change.

Just say, “I forgive myself for every mistake I ever made. I am a thoroughly good person and I am going to have a wonderful future.” Whenever you think of that event or situation, just repeat, “I forgive myself completely.” And then get on with your life. Focus on the future rather than the past and don’t look back. Look at where you are going rather than where you have been.

Finally, if you did something that hurt someone, and you still feel badly about it, you can go to that person, or write, and apologize. Tell the person you are sorry for what you did or said. Whatever his or her reaction, positive or negative, it doesn’t matter. The very act of repentance, of expressing regret, will set you free.

FREE eBook — Best of Brian Tracy’s Blogs! Four incredible blogs that will help you learn how to influence people, become the best version of yourself, and start taking action to get everything you want in life! Access the ultimate collection of Brian Tracy’s BEST blog posts. Click here!

BONUS Articles: Forgiveness… What’s it For?

BrianTracyCopyright 2013 by Brian Tracy. Reprinted with permission. Brian Tracy is the most listened to audio author on personal and business success in the world today. His fast-moving talks and seminars on leadership, sales, managerial effectiveness and business strategy are loaded with powerful, proven ideas and strategies that people can immediately apply to get better results in every area. For more information, please go to www.briantracy.com.

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CLoveLOGOLarry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
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Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com

Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Single and Ready for Love… Caution!

Caution: Don’t fall in love with a broken heart. That would be someone who has just come out of a relationship and hasn’t yet had enough time to heal.

You knew that, right? When your heart has been broken, it takes time for it to heal. You do not want to carry that pain into another relationship until you don’t hurt anymore. Even then, it is important to take some time be see what being alone for awhile feels like. Do not rush. That would be another mistake.

firstdateOkay. So… it’s been enough time. He’s been gone long enough. You’re ready to begin dating. You just want to see what’s out there.

You finally exercised your forgiveness option – both for him and yourself; read relationship and personal growth books, hired a relationship coach; went to a seminar or two and spent lots of time alone, working on you. That’s a great start in the right direction. Not everyone you meet on your dating quest has been doing what you’ve been doing for the last year or so. You know. The stuff that lets you know you are ready for another relationship – or, at least, to see what’s available.

You will probably attend a few singles groups. That will help to be around people again. Maybe even sign up on a “We Help You Get a Hot Date” website. Sometimes that works. Sometimes it doesn’t.

Most single women who come to me for relationship coaching tell me that most of the men they meet just want to get in their pants. Get a clue, guys! They tell me that guys should grow up; that they are the one’s who need coaching about how to talk to and be with a woman. Know anybody like that? They also say that men seem to want to talk about their past relationship. Not good. There may come a time when that could be relevant but certainly not on the first date or two.

You may have to kiss a lot of frogs. You also need to know that there is no perfect man (or woman either, for that matter). No knight on a horse. No “the one.” And you would be wise to show up around people until love finds you. In my opinion, looking for love is like showing up at a single event with a sign on your forehead that reads, “I’m available.” BE love. Be the kind of person that you know someone would love. Celebrate Love wherever you go and with whomever you are with.

Here are a couple of ideas. You have a right to be picky. However, not too picky. You will meet a couple of jerks once in a while. Smile. Say, “No thank you” when he asks to see you again. You need to know the quality of a man’s character, personality type, is he married to his job, “is he married!”, does he have time for a little romance, etc. Make a list. You will probably be adding to it after the first date or three. Or you may even cross off a few things that you have discovered aren’t that important.

slowdownNot everyone you meet is really ready for a relationship, much less a “committed” relationship. Come across that way and you will probably scare away a few good ones as well as the bad ones. Many of the people you will meet – both men and women – still have broken hearts and they are still feeling the pain.

Never settle for the first guy that makes you feel good. When you haven’t had a warm tender hug in a long time, it can be very tempting. Take it slow. I can say don’t do this, but I know you will. You will have an occasion to play the “comparison” game; “He’s just like my ex!” Not a good game to be playing. You only want to look back to see how far you’ve come and the lessons you learned along the way. Don’t make the same mistakes. You know the ones. Take plenty of time to get to know each other. Have great conversations. Take your time. When you have a relevant question, ask it.

Above all… don’t fall in love with a broken heart. That would definitely throw your plan to be happy in a loving relationship totally out of balance and in a downward spiral. If I’m talking to you. I hope you can see that.

BONUS Articles: For Men Only – “How to Attract Women: Stop Making These 10 Body Language Blunders
For Singles Only ~ Not to Worry… Love Will Find You!
More articles for Singles. Click here!

CLoveLOGOCopyright © 2013 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
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Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Live Boldly – Be Fearless

Filed under: Fear,Letting Go,Personal Growth — Larry James @ 7:00 am
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Whether you believe it or not, you own this moment. Be in the present. Focus on now. Make the best of it. Living boldly helps prepare you for what’s next.

froggyRather than cautiously testing the water, be fearless and dive straight into life with freeing abandon. Think of the person you want to be and the relationship you want to be in – use your imagination – then make a commitment to live your best life now. Believe in yourself. Be your own spark. Lighten up. Design some new “happy” habits. Be fearless and promise yourself to break a bad habit. Keep your promise.

It takes no strength to let go… only courage. Repeat after me – out loud, “Fear begone!” Feel better now?

“To me, Fearless is living in spite of those things that scare you to death.” ~ Taylor Swift

Spread some Love around. It’s the great miracle cure. Call someone you haven’t talk with for awhile and tell them you love them. Fall in Love with yourself – again. Why? Because you deserve it. Emerge from that fortress you’ve built around your heart. Let others in. Feeling down? Break the cycle. Exercise. Do something extraordinary for someone else. Put on a lively CD and create some new moves. Be spontaneous! Life rarely makes any more sense when things are done in order.

LiveBOLDLYSometimes success in life and in your relationships lies in bombing big-time first. We learn from our mistakes. They shape who you will become. Forgive yourself for past mistakes. Don’t be afraid to make more. We often learn more from giant flops than big wins. Do it with sass. Study life and love to help you do life and love better. Start a journal to keep track of your progress.

“The FEAR of being nothing, achieving nothing and becoming nothing should be way bigger than the fear of making mistakes.” ~ Daniela Saviuc

These incremental changes you make along the way will increase your self-confidence and help you boldly go where you have not been before. Repeat after me – out loud, “Change is good!” Stop thinking so much and start really living. Breathe. Relax. Let go of any worry or stress about the future. It’s on its way but the future hasn’t happened yet. Accept no excuses from yourself.

After a misstep, reflect on it, then move forward faster and wiser. Never second guess who you are and never be afraid to make a big splash.

BONUS Articles: 6 Steps Towards Living a Life Free of Fear and Full of Hope
7 Reasons Why Not Making Mistakes Is The Biggest Mistake

CLoveLOGOCopyright © 2012 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com

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