Larry James' CelebrateLove.com BLOG

Thursday, May 26, 2016

Dream Lover

Filed under: Dreams,I Love You!,Intimacy,Kissing,Love,Relationships — Larry James @ 10:30 am

DreamLover.jpg

CLoveLOGOCopyright © 2013 – 2016 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from a real dream. Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

the-archives2Click for Archives! ~ commentSubscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
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Saturday, July 18, 2015

Want More Intimacy?

In a study of data led by researchers at Juan March Institute, Madrid, Spain and University of Washington, Seattle, in marriages where chores were divided based on traditional stereotypes – women did the housework and men handled care and lawn mowing, for example – couples had sex an average of 4.8 times a month. When both partners helped with everyday chores, the frequency dropped to 3.9 times per month.

REL-Intimacy4Researchers from the University of Washington in 2013 tell us: If husbands left the meals and toilet cleaning to their wives, they had sex nearly twice as much as husbands who performed these chores.

Other research has found that men who neglect to pitch in with dinner prep may create conflict in your marriage around the division of household labor. Men who shun cooking and cleaning can actually engender marital conflict which could also result in less sex.

Couples who feel they are sharing the duties of raising a family and managing a household are more likely to be happy in their relationship, and that leads to more affection.

Until you have the courage and the commitment to fully engage in your relationship, to be so intentional about it that it becomes the highest priority in your life, genuine intimacy cannot occur. Sexual intimacy of the highest order only occurs when the heat of passion melts the barriers around your hearts. With the freedom to pursue that special closeness only committed partners know, two hearts will meld together in a dance of Divine love.

Sex is fun… and pleasure is good for you!

Someone once said that women often fake orgasm because men fake foreplay! Couples who thrive in their experience of each other strive to seek the balance necessary for both to find mutual pleasure in their lovemaking. Both must take full responsibility for getting what they want and giving what their partner needs.

When was the last time you did something together for the first time?

BONUS Articles: For Men Only – More Housework… More Intimacy!
The Dirty Truth About Good Marriages
Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers
Hey, Guys and Gals… What About Housework? Are You Sharing?
It’s Never Too Late to Get Back on Track… S#XUALLY!
Why Sex is Good for Your Health

RedHotHeart2CLoveLOGOCopyright © 2015 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

the-archives2Click for Archives! ~ commentSubscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
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Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com
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Wednesday, June 24, 2015

It’s Never Too Late to Get Back on Track… S#XUALLY!

Filed under: Intimacy,Sex — Larry James @ 7:30 am
Tags: , , , ,

“In 2016 the number of states where same-sex marriages are legal will reach 32, plus the District of Columbia. The next year sexless marriages finally become illegal, making most married people lawbreakers!” ~ Bob Saget 😉

Come on. Where’s that sparkle you felt when you first came together? When you work together – I mean, “really” work together – those feelings can be resurrected. Do you sometimes wonder what happened to that randy, can’t-get-enough couple you used to be? You know, before the fatigue of everyday life set in and before the kids arrived. Back when you could have the week from hell and still strap on your dancing’ shoes and, after a great night out, have energy for sex. If you just sighed nostalgically, I get it.

RELBackonTrackIf your partnership has been sexless for a while, the fire can be rekindled. It takes courage. It’s not easy, especially if the two of you really don’t talk about it anymore. Someone has to take the first step while they are still afraid. You have to be vulnerable and willing to be rejected. Sexual intimacy should be a big part of your marriage and your intimate conversations. It’s a time when you can let go and truly be “together,” sharing your love for one another.

If you’re interested in just getting back to some good ole fashion love making, these fifteen ideas will get you going in the right direction. Try adding one idea to your week for the next fifteen weeks! Share this article with your partner to get things started.

1. Become a couple with unwavering commitment to doing whatever it takes to make your overall relationship work. Remember, problems always show up in the bedroom. If you want great sex, never deny your partner the attention necessary to let them know they are loved, appreciated and respected. Relationships are something that must be worked on ALL THE TIME, not only when they are broken and need to be fixed.

2. Have a passion for life’s sexual journey and for the processes required to go from boring to bliss in the bedroom. Be creative with your passion. Direct it toward your partner. Nurture it. Enjoy and revel in it.

3. Become dedicated to mutual pleasure for both you and your love partner. Sex is fun and pleasure is good for you!

4. Learn to be intentionally spontaneous and open for the opportunity to make love when it presents itself; during a lunch break, in the back seat of your car or by arousing your partner from a deep sleep in the middle of the night.

5. Perfect the ability to communicate openly and honestly your most secret sexual desires and needs. Be responsible for your own sexual pleasure by asking for what you need or taking care of yourself.

6. Be willing to be a student of great sex; read about it, study it, practice it.

7. Be mature enough to exercise the discipline to stay in the moment when being sexually intimate. Never allow the cares of the day to distract you. Focus on giving pleasure to each other.

8. Be daring. . . experiment. Do things differently, try new positions, new places, love toys and more, in agreement with both partners, of course. Variety is the spice of a healthy sexual relationship. Be creative! To always make love the same old way is, in a word, BORING!!

9. Pay attention to personal hygiene. The first rule of making love is to present a body that is tastefully clean!

10. Cultivate the generosity to consider your love partner’s pleasure before your own, or the esprit de corps to decide whether you or your partner goes first or whether you reach orgasm together.

11. Have the keenness of mind to recognize the value of making love vs. only having sex. A “quickie” now and then is okay, however to only and always depend upon quickies for your sexual gratification is a form of “taking your partner for granted” and can only lead to resentment. Make time for the time that is needed to “make love.”

12. Synthesize the gusto to be energetic when making love and aware of the sensitivity it takes to passionately lay motionless together after engaging in sex. Enjoy foreplay, engagement and afterglow.

13. Be courageous enough to not always take yourselves so seriously; to laugh, to play and be playful and to experience whatever is sexually exciting and enjoyable.

14. Learn to negotiate win/win agreements and promises about how you will mutually care for your partner’s needs in the sexual arena.

15. Ask for the variety of pleasure you want and deserve. However, to force or coerce your partner to do something they do not want to do breeds discontent and is highly disrespectful. In this scenario, always take “No!” for the answer. Never be afraid to ask for what you want and always demonstrate the respect to honor your lover’s right to say no without consequence.

Practice including the keywords that are in bold in your sexual vocabulary with your partner and watch what happens!

Consider spending some time reading some of the following articles to help you get back on track!

BONUS Article: Are You Available for Intimacy?
Why Sex is Good for Your Health
Intimacy Quiz
Celebrate Love at Your Very Own “Wonderama!”
It’s Time to Get Serious About Sex! ~ Video
Know What Turns You On

CLoveLOGOCopyright © 2015 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

the-archives2Click for Archives! ~ commentSubscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com
Visit Larry’s Relationship Pin Board on Pintrest @ http://www.pinterest.com/larryjames2012/relationships-blog/

Saturday, June 20, 2015

The Key to Lasting Love

Bob Hollander, JD, LCSW-C and Lori Hollander, LCSW-C, BCD, Guest Authors

Remember the Beatles song, “All You Need is Love”? For a relationship to last a lifetime, nothing could be further from the truth.

RELlastingLOVELove is defined as an intense feeling of strong affection and attraction; a deep romantic or sexual attachment. It is what initially brings us together. It’s the beginning; it’s the first thing we need in a relationship. But love by itself will not sustain a partnership “till death do us part.” The romantic notion the feeling of love will hold us together forever is a myth.

Why isn’t it enough? Why isn’t romantic love, followed by commitment or marital vows, able to keep us connected for a lifetime? The answer is “falling in love” or “being in love,” though a powerful emotion, is passive. Our culture naively teaches us to believe the feelings of love will never change. We don’t learn how to actively nurture and grow the emotion of love over our lifetimes.

“To describe love is very difficult, for the same reason that words cannot fully describe the flavor of an orange. You have to taste the fruit to know its flavor. So with love.” ~ Paramahansa Yogananda

Love is a feeling and feelings are strange things. You can’t see them or touch them; they exist in our minds and our hearts. They are dynamic and always in process. And they are highly subject to change over the years depending on life’s circumstances. We expect the promise we make in our vows, alone, will ensure those powerful feelings will last forever. In reality it takes so much more than that.

Our feelings of love are subject to how much attention we pay to them. If we intentionally feed feelings, they grow; if we starve feelings, they die. And if we do neither, and don’t truly attend to them, they capriciously respond to the happenings in our lives.

When life gets serious, if couples are not consciously aware of working through their feelings together, it’s likely that anger, frustration, sadness and fear will overshadow the feelings of love; and the connection may drift away.

So what is the key to lasting love and a forever relationship?

Consciously and actively love your partner, everyday. Feed the love, listen with empathy, communicate, problem solve, face and embrace difficult feelings, apologize and forgive.

To stay in love we need to:

Create love. Build love. Practice love. Nurture love. Grow in love. Every day.

I didn’t marry you because you were perfect. I didn’t even marry you because I loved you. I married you because you gave me a promise. That promise made up for your faults.

“And the promise I gave you made up for mine. Two imperfect people got married and it was the promise that made the marriage. And when our children were growing up, it wasn’t a house that protected them; and it wasn’t our love that protected them – it was that promise.” ~ Thornton Wilder, The Skin of Our Teeth

BONUS Articles: Let Love Change the Course of Your Life
What is Love?
“I Love You” – A to Z!
The ABC’s of Celebrating Love!

Copyright © 2015 by Lori Hollander, LCSW-C, BCD. Lori Hollander, LCSW-C, BCD, is a licensed counselor and co-founder of Relationships Work, an innovative therapy practice and online resource center. Together with her husband, Bob, they encourage couples to consciously co-create their relationships in order to achieve a deeper, more intimate connection. You can visit Relationships Work online at: http://www.RelationshipsWork.com. Follow them on Facebook.

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CLoveLOGOLarry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

the-archives2Click for Archives! ~ commentSubscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com
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Tuesday, June 16, 2015

Are You Available for Intimacy?

Intimacy is waaaay more than making Love or having sex! And… in my opinion, more important than making Love or having sex.

REL-IntimacyWhy? Because shared intimacy is the glue that can keep you together even when times are rough and will lead to a much stronger and healthier relationship. These expressions of Love are the single most important acts that keeps couples connected.

Intimacy are expressions of Love and can be expressed in many ways; from opening the door for your partner, sharing your ice cream cone to flirting with a wink.

“Another important point is that if you know you can actually sleep together but not “sleep together,” and still wake up happy, you will have a better shot at your relationship not being based solely on sex – but friendship.” ~ James Michael Sama

“Don’t allow emotional disconnection to last any longer than necessary. When you lose touch with your partner, reestablish it as soon as possible. If you’re staying emotionally disconnected to punish her or him, confess this without delay, regardless of how uncomfortable that may be.” ~ Robert Augustus Masters, PhD

You cannot be emotionally available and experience true intimacy if you are not willing to feel and experience the vulnerability that it brings. Many people are afraid of what they will feel if they truly put themselves out there and feel genuine intimacy and end up being vulnerable. I can promise you this: If you want a more intense and satisfying sexual relationship, allow yourself to be vulnerable and focus more on intimacy for awhile, not sex.

By the way, withholding sex as a way of getting more intimacy – expressions of Love – is never going to work.

“Being an unwilling sexual partner with your spouse. ~ When sexual intimacy is continually withheld from a spouse it can cause serious damage to a marriage. Sexual intimacy is not only a release valve for the pressures of the world; it is the single most important act that keeps couples connected both physically and emotionally. Making this an active part of your marriage can increase the joy and fulfillment of your relationship. There are times when you need to be understanding and patient. Sexual intimacy should never be forced, but rather a tender sharing by husband and wife. Be faithful in making this a joyful part of your marriage.” ~ Gary and Joy Lundberg

IntimacyRecently, a friend sent me the following list of things that he and his partner are committed to doing:

1. Bring home one small, unexpected gift or present.
2. Share some form of physical intimacy.
3. Share an entire afternoon or evening together.
4. Share two insights you gained this week.
5. Write at least one little love note.
6. Mail something to your partner.
7. Plan something special for the upcoming weekend.

BONUS Article: 7 Ways To Enhance The Intimacy In Your Relationship
7 Ways You’re Being Unfaithful to Your Spouse and Don’t Even Know It
Making Love vs. Having Sex!
Intimacy Quiz
Intimacy… It Can Mean Many Things

CLoveLOGOCopyright © 2015 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

the-archives2Click for Archives! ~ commentSubscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com
Visit Larry’s Relationship Pin Board on Pintrest @ http://www.pinterest.com/larryjames2012/relationships-blog/

Friday, March 20, 2015

Why Sex is Good for Your Health

Filed under: InfoGraphic,Intimacy,Sex — Larry James @ 7:30 am
Tags: , , , ,

SexIShealthySex is FUN and pleasure is good for you!

There are many health benefits from participating in this creative activity.

It’s important to have a passion for life’s sexual journey and for the processes required to go from boring to bliss in the bedroom. Be creative with your passion. Direct it toward your partner. Nurture it. Enjoy and revel in it.

Be courageous enough to not always take yourselves so seriously; to laugh, to play and be playful and to experience whatever is sexually exciting and enjoyable.

LoveNote… Passion is pure energy, aliveness, and like life itself, it starts off neutral; it is a given. We are the ones that give the energy of passion direction and meaning. The more we have succeeded in channeling passion into love, the more attractive we have become to each other, and the more attractive our relationship has become to both of us. ~ Henry James Borys

cintimacy468BONUS Articles: 15 Hot Ideas for Phenomenal Physical Intimacy!
Red Hot LoveNotes from Larry James
Making Love

InfoGraphic Copyright © 2015 – Helen O’Keeffe. Visit Helen’s Website at: http://www.evoke.ie/category/health/.

CLoveLOGOCopyright © 2015 – Larry James. Larry’s commentary is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

commentSubscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com
Visit Larry’s Relationship Pin Board on Pintrest @ http://www.pinterest.com/larryjames2012/relationships-blog/

Monday, September 1, 2014

Intimacy Quiz

Filed under: Intimacy,Relationships,Sex — Larry James @ 7:30 am
Tags: , ,

Larry’s NOTE: Some couples find it difficult to talk about sex. Doin’ it one thing… talkin’ about is quite another. Communication in a truly intimate sense means that you are able to say how you feel and understand how the other person feels. People who communicate positively in an intimate relationship are also able to be both active and empathic in listening to their partner’s concerns. Besides, half the fun of sex is talking about it. Well, maybe not half. 😉

My suggestion is to print 2 copies of this quiz, then light some candles, have a glass of your favorite beverage, then each of you take the quiz. Once you know your score, you now have something to talk about. Go through each question and have an intimate, adult conversation about each of your answers. If you want the intimacy part of your relationship to be better you have to work on it… and part of working on it is having the courage to talk about. Sex is fun and pleasure is good for you! Enjoy!

IntimacyQuizMany people don’t know their partners’ needs as well as they should simply because they haven’t talked about them in the right way. The best way to do this is to talk with your partner about what turns him or her on and learn more about their “inner world” and desires.

How well do you know your partner’s inner world? Take this quiz and find out. Then work together to build love maps of each other’s inner worlds so that you can create more sexy sizzle in your relationship!

1. I know what makes my partner relaxed and feel safe: ❏ Yes ❏ No

2. I know my partner’s favorite sexual position: ❏ Yes ❏ No

3. I know how to flirt with my partner to get them in the mood: ❏ Yes ❏ No

4. I know at least one of my partner’s wildest sexual fantasies: ❏ Yes ❏ No

5. I know what NOT to do during sex with my partner: ❏ Yes ❏ No

6. I can tell when I’m turning my partner on or not: ❏ Yes ❏ No

6. My partner likes it when I flirt with them even when we’re physically not together: ❏ Yes ❏ No

7. I know how often my partner likes to have sex: ❏ Yes ❏ No

9. I know how to get my partner to have an orgasm: ❏ Yes ❏ No

10. I know what my partner’s sexual insecurities are: ❏ Yes ❏ No

11. I can tell when my partner likes it harder, faster, longer, slower, etc.: ❏ Yes ❏ No

12. I know at least two secret places on my partner’s body that are most sensitive and make them orgasmic: ❏ Yes ❏ No

13. I know what my partner likes to hear me say during sex: ❏ Yes ❏ No

14. I can tell when my partner is or is not in the mood: ❏ Yes ❏ No

15. I know what I can wear to turn my partner on: ❏ Yes ❏ No

16. I know what kind of rituals my partner likes to do after sex: ❏ Yes ❏ No

Scoring Key: Compute the number of times you checked yes. If greater than 14, your sex life is in good shape. If it is 13 or less, your sex life could stand some improvement. For more information about how to improve your relationship and your sex life, check out the newly debuted GottSex Series at www.gottsex.com, launched by The Gottman Institute.

Copyright © 2014 by Dr. John M. Gottman and Dr. Julie Gottman. Distributed under license by The Gottman Institute, Inc. Reprinted with permission by The Gottman Institute.Dr. John Gottman is a psychologist and one of the world’s leading researchers in the field of marriage and couples. His research has enabled him to predict, with over 90% accuracy, when observing a 5-minute conflict conversation, which couples will stay together and which will separate. Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman is cofounder and Clinical Director of the Gottman Institute and co-teaches the Institute’s Advanced Training Seminar in Couples Therapy and The Art and Science of Love Couples Weekend Workshop. For videos, products, workshops and therapy, visit http://www.gottman.com and also check out http://www.gottsex.com.

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Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and a nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Author and Speakers BLOG” at: http://AuthorsandSpeakersNetwork.wordpress.com
Visit Larry James on LinkedIn

Monday, March 17, 2014

How I Stopped Watching Porn for 1 Year and Why I’m Not Going Back!

Filed under: Intimacy,Porn,Relationships — Larry James @ 7:30 am

First of all, let me say that this is a “Relationship” Blog! No matter how you personally feel about the dangers of porn, we are committed to presenting all points of view without judgement. As a relationship coach, I feel there are things that need to be said that we often resist talking about.

YouDecideI believe that everything in moderation is the best format to follow. Drink too much water and you can drown. Smoke too many cigarettes and you may get cancer. A vocal segment of the American population has serious concerns about the effect of pornography in society and challenges its public use and acceptance.

The problem of porn rears it’s ugly head when it comes to the point of addiction and begins to interfere with your sex life, social life, finances, job, relationship, family, spiritual life, responsibilities and so on. That’s where most people draw the line. Porn (and even too much sex) can cause depression, lethargy, no motivation, anxiety, low/non-existent libido, and plenty of other problems.

Research shows that 47% of people watch between 30 minutes to three hours of porn per day. The University of Sydney found that those who have an excessive passion for porn were more likely to have severe social and relationship problems, and were more likely to lose their jobs and get in trouble with the law.

The main voices heard about porn are those of church leaders, politicians, and opinion columnists. In these debates it is rare to hear the insights of those people who regularly consume pornography. Some think that any enjoyment of pornography is a sign of a twisted mind.

Please read “How I Stopped Watching Porn for 1 Year and Why I’m Not Going Back!” with an open mind and decide for yourself. Click here!

Larry’s NOTE: This post should not be construed as my being in favor of pornography, as my personal opinion is irrelevant to the matter at hand. Is porn beneficial or detrimental? Please be clear, I am NOT advocating pornography, I am NOT discussing the moral implications of pornography, I am NOT trying to tell everyone to start supporting pornography. My conclusion is that there is a good, bad, ugly and dark side of porn and you get to decide.

BONUS Article: The Good and Bad Sides of Porn

CLoveLOGOCopyright © 2014 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

commentSubscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Thursday, November 21, 2013

Celebrate Love at Your Very Own “Wonderama!”

How long has it been since the two of you really spent some “quality” time together? Does your relationship need a little extra oomph? Whether you’ve been married or together for years, show your partner how much you appreciate them by planning some sexy surprises for a very special night together. I’m talking about a night with absolutely no distractions; no kids, no smart phones, iPads, texting, TV, etc. None! I’m talking a very special evening of Love and romance. The kind of time where you both really let your hair down and genuinely BE together; where you can cuddle, caress and celebrate your Love together in special ways.

Wonderama2Alone time with your partner can sometimes be challenging and hard to arrange because of long hours at work and kids. You have to plan time – or rather “make” time like this to get together. Don’t rush. Take your time planning. Why not make these precious hours you two share extra exciting? Plan a “Wonderama” where you will rediscover the wonder of each other. It’s time for a little hedonistic fun. The pursuit of pleasure is something that many couples let slide when they have been together for a long time.

“My job is to be helpful!” 😉 …To assist you with some ideas that will help you express the love that was strong in the beginning, is still there, and if you’re both on the same page… will manifest itself again in a very special way.

You have to work together to make something like this to work. Creating your “Wonderama” takes some preplanning and may stretch your creative abilities. It’s a romantic break from routine. Decorate a special place. Turn it into your own sensual play space or love nest. It could be a mattress in the living room floor (or move the coffee table off to the side so you have room to lay down layers of soft blankets) or the back yard (pull out your blow-up mattress and sleeping bags), the bedroom, (I prefer the bedroom, but that’s just me), or a hotel room for one night. You can’t get sexier than sharing strawberries (the chocolate-dipped ones – they’re an aphrodisiac) and champagne in bed. Make it up for you. Design the layout together. Forget your age. Never let age be your cage. Consider a blanket-fort with lots of soft pillows. That is childlike but fun. Focus on Love and romance.

Once you set a time and a date, tease your partner with little notes several days in advance that remind them of your special night together. Leave a single strawberry and a note that reads “See you tonight,” or a Post-It® note on the bathroom mirror. Send each other tantalizing text messages during the day of. Something simple and sexy will do. The anticipation will make an ordinary night much more alluring. Think seduction. Get a little edgier by having a blindfold and/or handcuffs which you may or may not use.

TwinMassageYou can do this by yourselves or hire some helpers to help you brainstorm some super romantic ideas. Remember that being romantic is all in the attitude that you bring to this special night. Pamper yourselves. Rent a Masseuse for the evening. Two works nice – one for each of you. Treat yourselves to a sensual twin massage. Before you begin, choose some soothing music to play in the background. The relaxing pressure of the massage helps put you back in touch with your bodies: the ultimate preparation for your late-night “Wonderama!” There’s nothing more romantic and relaxing than a massage. (Tip: My favorite… Coconut-passion-fruit massage oil).

Relax. One couple I know hired a harpist to play their favorite romantic music for a couple of hours in the room next to them while they played together. Surely by now you both have a favorite song or two. Play them and burn a CD with more of your favorite tunes. Dance a verrrry slow, sexy dance.

mood-foodsYou could hire a caterer to bring in snacks to nibble on when you get tired of nibbling on each other. 😉 Feed each other hazelnut truffles or cinnamon-flavored ganache. Chill your favorite beverages. Put a lot of thought into this creative endeavor. Cook up one special surprise for your partner. Write 4 or 5 romantic things to read to your partner when the time is right. Don’t hold back. Say what’s in your heart. A little mystery can go a long way. This will be a night to remember.

A “Wonderama” is a very special time to be together and the purpose is to create a cozy retreat chucked full of Love and romance. It will rekindle the romance that may be missing. The intent is to spice up your love life. Do plenty of touching and flirting. You may rediscover what it’s like to really be in Love and both agree to make it an annual (or quarterly) romantic adventure. Sprinkle some rose petals around the room or some of your most loved fresh flowers.

Temporarily dismiss the cares of the day, any relationship issues and anything else that could distract you from really being together. Share a warm shower with a loofah sponge. Good hygiene is paramount. Who cares if you can only fit one person in there? Or take a bubble bath together with lots of bubbles and subtle scents. Lavender oil has a fresh, sweet, floral, herbaceous aroma that is soothing and refreshing. This night should not be without it. Don’t forget the rubber ducky. Lather each other up with some vanilla bath gel and you won’t mind being in such close quarters. Towel each other off.

grapesLight some scented candles or incense. Time for lights out. I like the subtle aroma of beeswax candles which is totally natural and not overpowering like some scented candles. Be playful. Experiment with seductive touch. Bring toys. Use them. Feed each other grapes along with your special beverage. Shed your inhibitions. Let yourself go. Demonstrate genuine interest in each other. Blindfold your partner. Make sure they can’t peek! Then, feed them a piece of food and have them describe what kinds of flavours, textures and memories they are experiencing. Some good old-fashioned necking might be in order too. Be brave. Hold no Love back. Demonstrate your love. Let Love express itself in ways you have nearly forgotten. Dress (or undress) for the occasion.

WonderamaLie in each others arms. Kiss. Relax with one another. Share your best memories of when you first met. Do spoons. Have FUN together. “More grapes, please!” See if you can be present and go away with each other at the same time. Keep going. Tell each other something they don’t know about you. Hold each other. Whisper sweet somethings! Express your deepest feelings with words that you whisper aloud. Relax together… together. Really BE together. If your partner is willing (and ONLY if they are willing)… act out a fantasy (within healthy limits, of course). Let your guard down. If there’s something that your partner has been wanting to do, be willing to give it a try; you could surprise yourself and love it. Talking about intimacy can be physiologically arousing to both partners.

Say I love you now and then… out loud! Love should never be hushed or rushed. Kiss some more – a long lasting kiss this time. Have quiet, intimate conversation. Return to the beginning. Recreate the excitement of your first encounter. Talking about business and the kids are off limits. Sharing humor and laughing together will help you feel closer and wull remind you how much you care about your partner. Take a few photos to preserve the memories you are making. You are going to wonder why you didn’t come up with this idea yourself.

If you think your adventures between the sheets needs a wake-up call, creating a “Wonderama” should do the trick. It’s a passionate, intimate, emotional outlet and a way to become closer to your partner. By the way… you decide… sex doesn’t have to be the happy ending to this delicious night together. You want your partner to be focusing specifically on you and looking forward to your next rendezvous together. Don’t follow a script or try to guess how this might end up. Discard your expectations and just let whatever happens happen. Let Love lead the way. Enjoy each other like you did when you first met. It’s important to keep the intimate part of your relationship at the top of your romantic bucket list.

If the spirit (or whatever) moves you, you have my permission to go “all the way!” (wink, wink)

Time now to rest and fall asleep in each other’s arms. Now… wasn’t that fun?

Have breakfast in bed!

BONUS Articles: It’s Time to Get Serious About Sex! ~ Video
How a Trip to the Grocery Store Can Feed Your Sex Life – (Guys! Pay Attention!)
Know What Turns You On
Discover Your Partner’s Hot Buttons!
Touch for Two

commentCLoveLOGOCopyright © 2013 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com

Sunday, April 7, 2013

Perhaps it’s Time to “Sitr Tihngs uP!”

If your relationship is kinda lying dormant… mix it up a little. Begin to do things differently. Don’t get bogged down with the same old boring routine.

“Sitr Tihngs uP!”

I kid you not, when you mix things up in a relationship, all kinds of fun stuff can begin to happen. Breaking things up a bit triggers something in your brain that adds back in that sense of newness and excitement you might be missing from the early days of your relationship. If your relationship is stagnant, stirring things up will add spice to a boring relationship. This is the big secret to spice up a boring relationship.

BEtogetherThere are all kinds of diversions that continually draw your attention elsewhere… children, a miserable job, the car needs new tires, etc. Everyday annoyances that build up over months, years, or even decades. We fret about the past and we worry about the future. We strain toward tomorrow and we struggle against yesterday.

Fuhgeddaboudit! Change your mind. Everyone has the unique ability to do that. Cut out all the crap that you know is a distraction. Focus your thoughts more on your partner and your relationship.

Try this: Out with the old activities, and in with the new! Doing the same old thing forever and ever can negatively affect the romance and intimacy of your relationship. It is time to take action! You need new ideas to help you stir things up a bit.

There is a line in my Wedding ceremony that says, “Never stop doing the things that brought you together in the first place. Often when I am talking with a couple about planning their wedding ceremony, one or the other of them will say, “We need to do that!” It’s easy to slip into an attitude of taking your partner for granted. You know you love each other but fail to say it aloud as much as when you first met. That is a mistake.

BedroomMovesIf passion has subsided… maybe you need a change of scenery. Be determined to beat boredom. Get creative – together. Move the furniture around in the living room. Don’t neglect the master bedroom. Make it a romantic love nest. Remove the television. Use your master bedroom for sleeping and making love… not necessarily in that order.

Challenge your own status quo. Plan some special time to be together – just the two of you. Tease each other with text messages. Leave the children in the care of a responsible adult and go on a date. The kind of date you had when you were first together. It will give the two of you something to anticipate and work toward, together. Having a goal in your sights will help take the edge off what can often feel like monotony in everyday life.

If you are like most couples, you both work, you’re tired and when you get home you want to grab something cold to drink, turn the TV on and crash. Stirring things up triggers the brain to think new thoughts and feel new ways. That is always a winning combination. Pull yourself out of the rut you’re in. Your “tiredness” can turn to excitement and suddenly inspire you to stop being a couch potato and be adventurous.

Go to a park, sit under a tree, spread a blanket, and just talk to each other – not about the kids, not about work, just communicate with each other. BE in the present moment. Breathe! If your partner is the most special person in your life, say so. Words do have power and if said genuinely, they convey your intentions, emotions and feelings in a very special way. Remember sweet talk? Talk like a lover. Don’t hold back. Be a committed listener.

True partners share the good and the bad about their lives and their relationship. It’s really great to have a safe place like your relationship where you can discuss your innermost secrets and desires. Often couples who have been together for a long time forget that being together is not just about loving each other, it’s about expressing that love in a way that demonstrates the love and respect you feel for each other.

I don’t believe that you can ever be together too long to begin again. Someone has to take the first step. Fear of what your partner will say if all of a sudden you begin expressing your love in ways that hasn’t happened for a long time will keep you both stuck! It’s time to super-charge your relationship. If your relationship is in the “drift” mode and you have become distant, reconciliation can be a big step in the right direction. Make some new promises. Recommit to each other. Be together and start over.

There is a scripture in the Bible that reads, “And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works” (Hebrews 10:24 ESV). Work together to inspire, challenge, and encourage each other to “Sitr Tihngs uP!”

CLoveLOGOCopyright © 2013 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

letsbefriends2

Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com

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