Larry James' CelebrateLove.com BLOG

Friday, December 28, 2012

“I Need a Hug!”

Filed under: Anger Issues,Hugs — Larry James @ 7:30 am
Tags: , ,

When in the heat of the battle, always remember: a warm hug cools a slow burn. It may be better to temporarily put aside feelings of anger during misunderstandings and express your love in a silent, close embrace. Clearly affectionate communication is beneficial, but what happens when the expressed affection is not an authentic representation of your partner’s feelings?

two-children-huggingIt is at times like these, when tempers are flaring, words can not only fan the flames, they can be like a flash fire; once the fire rages through, there is not much of anything left.

A hug at that moment, would be a shining example of unconditional love. Being angry doesn’t mean you are no longer loved or lovable, or that you do not love your love partner.

Love stands on its own. It only needs your constant attention if you want it to grow. While it may be difficult to express love in the middle of no agreement, it is possible.

Imagine a relationship where love partners, in the midst of a disagreement, can agree to a truce long enough to again call attention to the single thing that keeps them together. . . Love.

Go to your partner. You may not want to hug – which is all the more reason to do so. It’s hard to stay angry when someone shows they care for you – even when they are angry, and that’s precisely what happens when you need to hug each other. Hold one another, if only for a moment. Hugs can calm you down when you’re angry. When given sincerely you can actually feel the stress that anger caused being released. You may even want to get brave and whisper, “I love you” while holding your partner close. When things cool down, have a warm and loving conversation that again gives birth to the possibility of agreement.

Reaching out and touching someone, and holding them tight is a way of saying you care. Its effects are immediate: for both, the hugger and the person being hugged. Non-hugs are no good. They don’t have the same effect.

couplehugging“If you’re angry at a loved one, hug that person. And mean it. You may not want to hug – which is all the more reason to do so. It’s hard to stay angry when someone shows they love you, and that’s precisely what happens when we hug each other.” ~ Walter Anderson, The Confidence Course, 1997

Hugging is one of the simplest ways we all can do to show compassion, care, happiness, sympathy, and Love, and according to relationship expert and life coach Pia Acevedo, “it only takes a mere 20 seconds for a woman to establish trust,” which then validates an individual’s being.

Through hugging and physically feeling the presence of another person, our body releases oxytocin or the “love hormone” which then results to the trust a female feels towards the other person and vice versa.

There is power in a hug. Hugs bring people together. This expression of human touch can silently speak forgiveness, sensitivity, acceptance, caring, healing and love. Healing is sometimes about simply having someone hold you in their arms and feeling their love, caring and compassion. When we’re feeling low, getting a gentle squeeze provides comfort like nothing else. A hug can help you feel safe and secure.

A lack of touch in our lives is detrimental to our well-being. We need physical contact to feel connected to something other than ourselves and to feel a little less alone, especially in times of need. Humans thrive on touch and often suffer without it. A hug can break down barriers that no words can. There is power in a hug.

Hugs are the new vitamin C. There is almost nothing that a hug cannot fix. In a new study, people who received more embraces from loved ones were less likely to catch a cold than those who weren’t as cuddly. Hugs, a sign of social support, may counter the immune system – lowering effects of stress.

If you can imagine it, you can bring it to pass. What an exciting possibility! Love – and a warm hug – more quickly heals a slow burn.

Get your “squeeze on!” Be an equal-opportunity hugger.

BONUS Article: How To Hug

KissesandHugsCLoveLOGOCopyright © 2012 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
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Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Be a Snugglebunny!

Filed under: Hugs,Snuggling — Larry James @ 7:00 am

Have the urge to get closer to each other? Try snuggling. It is one of the most enjoyable things a couple can do. It brings the two of you two very close, and tells you a great deal about your relationship.

snuggle1Snuggling requires being close. Women usually love to be held and to snuggle. It’s a great way to demonstrate romance. Find a place were your bodies mesh and revel in getting closer and filling in the gaps of your bodies. You can also snuggle while doing spoons. Try breathing in the same rhythm that your partner is breathing. Sink into each others arms. A seemingly endless kiss that doesn’t lead to anything else is nice too.

snuggle3When a man brings you close to his heart, he’s symbolically showing you that he’s very much attached to you. Your man may not always share feelings, but his body can do the talking. For some men it is easier to show you his affection with his gestures and actions, rather than with words. Close contact is important to all couples – both men and women. Sensations triggered by a snuggle session can be very pleasurable. It helps to create a more intimate bond between a man and a woman.

snuggle2Get close. Your partner will never know you want to snuggle if you are on the sofa and they are on the love seat. Sit right next to each other. Physical contact is required. If your partner doesn’t get the hint, they need to be told. Lay your head on his lap he should put his arm around you and begin to snuggle. If not, speak up. If you can let yourself relax enough emotionally and physically, you might actually enjoy some of the benefits of snuggling. Snuggling is a form of communication because it can say things you don’t have the words for.

A 2006 study by the Berman Center for Women’s Health in Chicago showed that couples who regularly indulge in spontaneous, non-sexual physical affection are more satisfied with their relationships. Even if you don’t get the appeal of snuggling, you should be able to see the connection between it and a happy partner.

What is a snugglebunny? It’s someone who is snuggly, or good to snuggle with; a sweetheart, a lover, a friend, a spouse. A person that you love, care for and want to cuddle with. Someone who lies or presses close together; cuddle. To curl up closely or comfortably; nestle: snuggled happily under the covers or anywhere you choose.

You can snuggle:

snuggle4

Animals “snuggle” too!

In bed.
On a porch swing.
On the floor.
In a sleeping bag for one.
In a car.
At the Drive-in.
In a hot tub.
On a blanket in the back yard.
On the beach.
On a couch.
In a Hot Air balloon.
By the fireplace.
At the movies.
Under a blanket.

Snuggle for snugglings sake and you’ll reap the rewards of making your partner feel happy, connected and very close to you.

Time to get your snuggle on!

snuggle5CLoveLOGOCopyright © 2012 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Make Your Relationship a Contact Sport

Filed under: Guest Authors,Hugs — Larry James @ 9:00 am
Tags:

Barbara Peters, Guest Author

Does that sound a little quirky to you? Think about it – what’s more exciting than touching and being touched, on and off your love field?

touchingforeheadsAs a couples relationship therapist, one thing is evident every single day in my office. Almost all the people coming through my door are looking for physical touch. They want it, crave it, need it, but many times just don’t have it.

Touching has become elusive in too many relationships, and couples don’t like it!

When couples seem to be repelling each other in imaginary magnetic fields, I often ask if there was ever a time in their relationship when touch was important. The answer is usually a resounding, “Yes, there was plenty of touching in the beginning!”

So, what happened?

We all need physical contact, even if only for a few minutes. A hug does wonders for the soul. Dr. Paul Brand, a pioneer in the field of healing through touch, writes: “‘Skin cells offer a direct path into the deep reservoir of emotion we metaphorically call the human heart.” Whew, that’s something to think about!

Babies in preemie intensive care units respond affirmatively to a parent’s finger grazing over their tiny bodies. Just a gentle stroke offers that physical connection of human to human, so needed for survival. Research studies show babies need touch to thrive, as do we all.

Why not try an instant replay to the time early in your relationship when casual physical touch quickly led to intensely romantic moments? It can happen again!

Simply holding hands can create a memorable moment. I often ask couples to sit on a couch and face each other, holding hands as they talk. The effects of this basic exercise are usually profound. Facial expressions and the tone of voice are dramatically changed, allowing words to appear more palatable, even if they are unpleasant. Compromise and resolution become easier to obtain.

Want to rekindle your fire? Here are a few suggestions:

• Talk to each other about what type touching feels the best. Personal knowledge is always a good thing, and can bring positive results. You might be surprised at what you’ll learn.

• Give hugs. Be generous with your embraces and hug often. Research claims four to eight hugs given over a day will increase bonding and connection between couples.

• Don’t be shy. Once you know how your partner loves to be touched, act on it!

Remember this quote from a wise person out there somewhere: “The smile on your face lets me know that you need me, there’s a truth in your heart that says you’ll never leave me, and the touch of your hand says you’ll catch me whenever I fall.”

Wouldn’t we all love to feel this way?

BONUS Articles: I’m Upset… AND I Need a HUG!
Angry. . . How About a Hug?

To Order click book cover!

Copyright © 2012 – Barbara Peters. Barbara Peters is a gifted communicator with a laser beam ability to cut through the tangle of personal drama to get results and relationships that last a lifetime. As a Licensed Professional Counselor, her counseling style is interactive, respectful, non-judgmental, and supportive. In her first book, “The Gift of A Lifetime: Building a Marriage that Lasts,” Barbara lends insight from her years of experience as a couples’ counselor to give people those essential tools and guide them on successfully using them. Visit Barbara’s Blog. She is also a contributor to The Life Change Network.

CLoveLOGOLarry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com

Saturday, December 10, 2011

I’m Upset… AND I Need a HUG!

Filed under: Anger Issues,Hugs,Lighten Up — Larry James @ 9:00 am

When in the heat of the battle, always remember: a warm hug cools a slow burn. It may be better to temporarily put aside feelings of anger during misunderstandings and express your love in a silent, close embrace.

It is at times like these, when tempers are flaring, that words can not only fan the flames, they can be like a flash fire; once the fire rages through, there is not much of anything left.

A hug at that moment, would be a shining example of unconditional love. Being angry doesn’t mean you are no longer loved or lovable, or that you do not love your love partner.

Love stands on its own. It only needs your constant attention if you want it to grow. While it may be difficult to express love in the middle of no agreement, it is possible.

Imagine a relationship where love partners, in the midst of a disagreement, can agree to a truce long enough to again call attention to the single thing that keeps them together. . . Love!

Hold one another, if only for a moment. When things cool down, have a warm and loving conversation that again gives birth to the possibility of agreement.

If you can imagine it, you can bring it to pass. What an exciting possibility! Love more quickly heals a slow burn.

HugsGlittersCLoveLOGOCopyright © 2011 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Angry. . . How About a Hug?

Filed under: Hugs,Relationships — Larry James @ 6:08 pm

When in the heat of the battle, always remember: a warm hug cools a slow burn. It may be better to temporarily put aside feelings of anger during misunderstandings and express your love in a silent, close embrace.

It is at times like these, when tempers are flaring, that words can not only fan the flames, they can be like a flash fire; once the fire rages through, there is not much of anything left.

A hug at that moment, would be a shining example of unconditional love. Being angry doesn’t mean you are no longer loved or lovable, or that you do not love your love partner.

Love stands on its own. It only needs your constant attention if you want it to grow. While it may be difficult to express love in the middle of no agreement, it is possible.

Imagine a relationship where love partners, in the midst of a disagreement, can agree to a truce long enough to again call attention to the single thing that keeps them together. . . love. Hold one another, if only for a moment. When things cool down, have a warm and loving conversation that again gives birth to the possibility of agreement.

Being angry is not living in the present. Anger only represents something from our past; something that already happened. The wise thing to do is to be present to our anger; acknowledge it. Don’t wallow in it.

Create a new intention; to move through it. We must never allow anger to use us. Allowing anger to use us, robs us of the power we need to move forward. Instead, we must use its mighty energy to move us to the other side. There we will find only love.

There is power in a hug. Hugs bring people together. This expression of human touch can silently speak forgiveness, sensitivity, acceptance, caring, healing and love.

If you can imagine it, you can bring it to pass. What an exciting possibility! Love more quickly heals a slow burn.

Copyright © 2008 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Author Larry James presents seminars nationally for singles and couples. Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com

Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and a nondenominational minister. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

letsbefriends2

Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com

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