Larry James' CelebrateLove.com BLOG

Sunday, August 23, 2015

It’s Not WHAT You Say, But HOW You Say It!!!

Kathleen Thoren, Guest Author

Sound too Old School? Perhaps.

What has made this saying stick around for so long? Because its true and powerful!

REL-HowUsayITBut wait a minute! If what we say is true, why does it matter HOW it’s said? Truth is truth!

It’s human nature to go into defensive mode if one feels they are being attacked. No matter how true your words may be, when words feel like weapons, the other person will automatically be ready to fight or retreat.

Caution! HOW you say something can change its entire meaning. And when you are stressed, HOW you say something matters even more. At these times, turn yourself into an “Investigator” instead of a “Judge” by using the phrase “Isn’t That Interesting”. This changes your perspective and focus from judge of who is right and wrong to INVESTIGATOR of facts and feelings.

Investigators ask questions to broaden understanding, learn, clarify, and absorb another person’s point of view – without necessarily agreeing with it.

So, if we use excellent skills such as asking questions, listening, exploring possibilities and being open to change, then we’re communicating effectively, right?

Again, not so fast! Check out your non-verbal cues and vocal inflections. Is your body language and intonation congruent with your words?

LoveHow to Communicate More Effectively

Ask Questions… with curiosity and calm VS with accusation and agitation

Listen… with eye contact and acknowledging “uh-huh’s” VS with a frown and suspicion

Explore New Ideas… with courage and openness VS with negativity and “sighs” of dismay

Offer Suggestions… with encouragement and hope VS emotionally aloof impatience

Share Your Feelings… with honesty and confidence VS with hostility or wishy-washiness.

Take responsibility for your feelings/reactions. You do not want to ignore your first reactive thoughts and feelings. Even though they may not be helpful for communication in the heat of the moment, they are very important to address later in a safe environment alone or with a trusted friend or mentor.

Give these tools a try and we believe they will improve your communication with those in your life and create a happier atmosphere for you and them.

BONUS Articles: Confrontation is Not a 4-Letter Word
Guys! Know When to Zip Your Lip!
You Cannot Not Talk…
Say Something…

KathleenThorenCopyright © 2015 by Kathleen Thoren. With an MA in Counseling, Kathleen Thoren has worked with clients individually and in groups through her private practice in Tempe, AZ. For 22 years as a relationship specialist, she helps people break free from what keeps them from experiencing happy, harmonious relationships and the life they want. Visit Kathleen’s Facebook page and Website.

ljspacer

CLoveLOGOLarry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

the-archives2Click for Archives! ~ commentSubscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

letsbefriends2

Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s Relationship Pintrest Page at: http://www.pinterest.com/larryjames2012/relationships-blog/

Advertisements

Sunday, July 26, 2015

13 Ways to Keep Snoring From Ruining Your Relationship

Rosemary West, Guest Author

Is snoring ruining your life?

Being kept awake all night by the sounds of a bull moose caught in a lawn mower can drive you crazy. An occasional night on the couch may not be a big deal. But when the snoring goes on and on, all night long, night after night, people get desperate. Around the world, the spouses of snorers have resorted to separate bedrooms, divorce, and even murder.

REL-snoringSleep deprivation has serious physical and mental repercussions. It can lead to memory loss, poor judgment, reduced cognitive functioning, heart disease, high blood pressure, loss of sex drive, depression, premature aging, weight gain, worsening of existing medical problems, and a shortened life span.

It isn’t just the snorer’s spouse who is getting hurt. Snorers’ sleep cycles are often disrupted, and they may be waking up many times during the night, even when they are not consciously aware of what is happening. They experience all the same harmful effects of sleep deprivation as their spouses. Additionally, snorers may suffer from sleep apnea, a potentially life-threatening condition in which breathing stops for brief periods during sleep, and then restarts, often with a loud choking or snorting sound.

Snoring is caused by restrictions or obstructions to the flow of air to the mouth and nose. Common causes are poor muscle tone of the throat and tongue, bulky throat tissue resulting from weight gain, excessive muscle relaxation due to drugs or alcohol, and the underlying structure of an individual’s jaw and airways.

There is hope. In many cases, snoring can be reduced or stopped altogether. Here are some of the approaches suggested by sleep experts.

1. Change your sleep position. Snoring is more likely to occur if you sleep on your back, because this position worsens the effect of relaxed tongue and throat muscles. A body pillow may make it easier to sleep on your side. Sewing a tennis ball or other uncomfortable object to the back of your sleep shirt will discourage rolling into the wrong position during the night.

2. A neck support pillow may reposition your head and neck so that the throat can stay open.

3.Avoid alcohol before bedtime. Alcohol acts as a muscle relaxant, making it more likely your jaw will drop open while your tongue and throat sag.

4. Lose weight. Dropping just 10-15 pounds can make a huge difference in the amount of excess tissue in the throat.

image046.jpg5. Open your nasal passages. Congestion or a narrow nasal cavity may be blocking your air flow. A steamy shower, http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00CYTLM84/celebratelovecom, or http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B004V31FPG/celebratelovecom may improve the situation.

6. Remove allergens and irritants. Keep the bedroom well vacuumed and dusted. If your pillows are washable, wash them at least once a month. Otherwise, regularly run them through a fluff cycle in the dryer to remove hair and dust. If your pillows are a few years old, it may be time to replace them. Keep pets off the bed. If you suspect that you have chronic allergies, see your doctor for testing and treatment.

7. Raise the head of the bed a few inches. This can be done with a foam wedge under the mattress, or with blocks placed under the feet of the bed frame.

8. Anti-snoring mouthpieces are designed to be worn at night. They either reposition the jaw or hold the tongue in place. These come in a wide range of styles and materials. At the higher end are customized devices made by dentists or other specialists.

9. Chin straps may be more comfortable and affordable than mouthpieces. They are designed to keep the jaw in place during the night.

10. Stay hydrated. Drink plenty of water throughout the day. Dehydration increases the stickiness of mucous, which in turn may intensify snoring.

11. Exercise. Some experts think that tongue and facial exercises can firm up the slack muscles that contribute to snoring. Exercises include inflating balloons, hyperextending the tongue, and grinning widely.

12.There are various medications that purport to help snoring. As a last resort, there is surgery. These treatments are not always effective, and should be considered only after consultation with a doctor.

Only a qualified doctor can diagnose sleep apnea. Not all snoring is caused by apnea, and apnea does not always cause snoring. If you are suffering from chronic fatigue and ongoing sleep disturbances, a medical checkup can help you find out exactly what is happening.

Sources: WebMD, National Heart, Lung and Blood Institute and Snoring Insights

BONUS Article: Staying Close In Separate Beds

RosemaryCopyright © 2015 by Rosemary West. Rosemary West is an educator, linguist, and writer working in Southern California. Married nearly 30 years and trained as a Gottman Seven Principles Educator, she explores the ups and downs of relationships on her blog, For Better – Or What? or follow on Twitter @ForBetterOrWhat.

ljspacer

CLoveLOGOLarry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

the-archives2Click for Archives! ~ commentSubscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

letsbefriends2

Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s Relationship Pintrest Page at: http://www.pinterest.com/larryjames2012/relationships-blog/

Tuesday, July 14, 2015

Is It Time to Get Rid of Marriage?

Bob Hollander, JD, LCSW-C and Lori Hollander, LCSW-C, BCD, Guest Authors

I’m still not over Jennifer and Brad, and Mariah and Nick; but now, Ben and Jen? I really thought, or was hoping, their marriage would last. Every day we read about marriages breaking up. It’s very discouraging.

REL-DumpMarriageI was under the impression that divorce was decreasing in the U.S.; recently I searched for the facts. I found a review of marriage and divorce trends over the last 144 years. Using data from the National Center for Health Statistics, Randal Olson, researcher at University of Pennsylvania, plotted the numbers. It’s fascinating to see the correlation of marriage and divorce rates with historical events. Check it out.

The data shows that divorce rates have been steadily declining since the 1980s; however, so have the marriage rates. It also shows:

The rate of marriage today is at the lowest point ever recorded in U.S. history.

That was news to me. It made me wonder: Has the institution of marriage in the millennium outlived its usefulness? After all, we don’t necessarily depend on each other for financial support, childcare and housekeeping.

Bob and I see two glaring problems with marriage in this day and age:

1. Today’s marriages are based on romantic feelings of love – the weakest link in relationships. We assume love will last forever. The truth is love can last, IF we nurture, sustain and grow it over a lifetime. Sounds easy, but it’s a tall order in our hectic day-to-day lives.

2. We aren’t prepared for the job of being a millennial spouse. On our wedding day how many of us know:

• Feelings of romantic love will die if they are not consistently fed
• Hard work is required to sustain a healthy, loving marriage over a lifetime
• Skills including communication, negotiation and conflict management need to be learned and practiced
• Money and sex are the two issues couples have most conflict about
• Marital satisfaction statistically plunges after children are born
• The true job description of being a marital partner isn’t written down, not to mention we may not have the right training for the job?

marriages:divorcesIf you saw an ad for Spouse in the Help Wanted section, it would go something like this:

Job Description: Seeking committed, mature individual. Responsible for health and well being of self and others, physically and emotionally; dedicated to hard work; devoted and loyal for life, despite future offers; team player; ability to identify, analyze and face obstacles to team welfare; prepared to learn and practice advanced communication, conflict resolution and negotiation skills, especially around issues of money and sex; willingness to share and sacrifice own needs at times for team; stamina to persevere and maintain quality of job performance despite years of hard labor, multiple organizational changes and transitions; and only a 60% success rate.

Did you realize this is what you were signing up for? Sounds daunting.

However, Bob and I still believe in marriage. What could be better than weaving a life together, through good times and bad, persevering, learning and growing from tough times, being able to enjoy and appreciate your accomplishments, having companionship and a best friend along the journey to find meaning in this world?

In addition, research-based evidence shows that the job of spouse comes with incredible benefits. A review of the research by the US Department of Health and Human Services finds that married people have:

• Better physical and mental health
• Improved economic well-being
• Improved well-being of children as adults
• Better long term health
• Greater longevity

So add good health, long life, higher income, and healthier children to the job description. It is worth the work.

Have a conversation with your partner about the “relationship house” you have built and make a plan to repair any damage. Strengthen the foundation and redecorate based upon what you both want for the future. It’s never too late to make your connection even stronger.

Image Source: Rings image by www.Public-Domain-image.com

Copyright © 2015 by Lori Hollander, LCSW-C, BCD. Lori Hollander, LCSW-C, BCD, is a licensed counselor and co-founder of Relationships Work, an innovative therapy practice and online resource center. Together with her husband, Bob, they encourage couples to consciously co-create their relationships in order to achieve a deeper, more intimate connection. You can visit Relationships Work online at: http://www.RelationshipsWork.com. Follow them on Facebook.

ljspacer

CLoveLOGOLarry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere.

the-archives2Click for Archives! ~ commentSubscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

letsbefriends2

Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s Relationship Pintrest Page at: http://www.pinterest.com/larryjames2012/relationships-blog/

Tuesday, December 2, 2014

How to Decorate a Christmas Tree

Direct Export Company, Guest Author

A Christmas tree should reflect the personality of the family and coordinate with the room in which it is placed. The variety of decorating styles is as varied as the number of people decorating the tree. Whether starting with a cut tree or everlasting tree, here are some basic rules that will help the decorator achieve the desired look.

The folks at Direct Export Company have provided us with some basic rules that will help you achieve your desired look.

DecorateXmasTreeWhat size and style of tree is correct?

When choosing a Christmas tree, there are four main factors to consider:

Room size: It is important to consider the room size and tree base diameter when making your tree selection. While larger rooms might accommodate the height of a taller tree, the tree diameter at the base can overwhelm the room. Many everlasting trees styles are offered in full and slim sizes to help you find the perfect fit.

Available Power: A general rule of thumb with incandescent lighting systems, states that, when using mini-lights, the tree should have approximately 100 lights per foot of height. If specialty lights – globe lights or candle lights – are added, the power draw can increase fairly significantly. Make certain that the circuit that will power the tree has the available capacity to run the lights. When using an incandescent system on the tree, the power requirement for a stand- ard 7.5’ or 9’ tree can be between 4 amperes and 10 amperes.

How you decorate: How you decorate your tree is a factor in what type of tree is best suited. If you use a lot of floral and branch ele- ments as well as small bead garlands, then a full tree will work well. For small to mid-sized hanging ornaments, an indexed tree will pro- vide the space for your decorations to hang properly and the fullness to minimize the open spaces in the tree. If you use large orna- ments, then a layered and indexed tree would be the best choice to accommodate your decorations because it will allow ample space for the ornaments to nest.

Ambient Light: If the tree is going to be put in a room with a lot of sunlight, and an Everlasting Tree is being used, a frosted or light green tree, rather than flocked or dark green, might be a better choice.

Lighting your Tree

The first consideration in decorating your tree are the lights. When using incandescent mini lights, there should be a minimum of 75 to 100 lights per linear foot. More lights can be used if desired, but fewer lights will result in a tree where the lights get lost in the decorations. If using an LED lighting system, the number of lights changes to 50 to 75 lights per foot. Candle light (C7) or Globe lights (G30) will produce satisfactory results when 8 to 12 light per foot are used. Everlasting Trees usually come pre-lit so these calculations are already done.

When installing lights on the tree (Fresh Cut or Everlasting) the light string should run along the branch starting at the tip and run back to the trunk. The light string is then moved to the next branch on the trunk and run to the tip. Alternate this “In-Out” pattern until the branches are lit. No more than 300 lights should be strung in series, that is, one light string plugged into another. Once the maximum 300 lights is reached, that series of light strings is then plugged into a “Drop” or extension cord. The number of lights that can be plugged into the drop is dependent on the size of the drop. Please refer to the electrical rating of the cord. With Everlasting Trees, this is usually already done for you.

IMPORTANT: Never plug the tree lights directly into the wall outlet. Tree lights should ALWAYS be plugged into a power strip with overload protection.

Determining the Theme of the Tree

Start the decorating process by determining what you would like the tree to look like when it is completed. Determine: 1. What colors should it include 2. What type of ornamentation is going to be used (hanging ornaments, floral elements, or some combination) 3. What type of Topper will be used (Star, Angel, etc.) 4. What is the focal element on the tree – what is the first thing upon which the observer will focus.

LJMerryChristmasThe Decorating Process

1. Start with the focal element, place it on the tree, then work out from it.
2. Organize your materials by item type: Floral, Ornaments, Sprays, etc.
3. Once you begin, work with one type of item at a time to help achieve proper balance of materials on the
tree.
4. Place the larger ornaments (or floral pieces) on the tree first. Tip: Using hooks for ornaments instead of strings allows for better control.
5. Place the garlands on the tree prior to the ornaments to insure proper draping and spacing
6. Glass, shimmering, or twinkling ornaments should be placed closer to the lights
7. Fill in around the larger pieces with smaller pieces.
8. Step back periodically and look at the tree as a whole.
9. When using floral elements, run the stem into the center of the tree so that the flower or leaves extend out near the end of the tips of the tree.
10. Generally, spacing for ornaments and floral elements should be no more that 7” apart and no closer than 3” together.
11. Place valuable and breakable ornaments nearer the top of the tree, out of reach of children, dogs, other pets, and (with live cut trees) the watering process (see discussion in the Tree Skirt Section).
12. Be creative. Birds, dolls, gift boxes, animals, ice skates, etc all are wonderful additions to your Christmas tree. If you are using an Everlasting Tree, don’t forget to hang the Scent Ball ornament within easy reach so that the fragrant oil can be replenished.

The Topper: There are a couple of ways to top your Christmas tree.

1. Install a Star, Angel, Elf, or the like on the top
2. Create a Head Dress which is a series of stems, sprays, and picks that start about 10 inches below the top of the tree, are installed so the stem projects upward at a 45 degree angle outward, with the angel getting more acute as it nears the top of the tree. The Head Dress needs to coordinate with the color and theme of the tree and should not project too far out from or over the top of the main tree trunk.

The Skirt: After the tree is decorated to your satisfaction and the lights are plugged into the plug strip, then it’s to put down the tree skirt. If you are using a Fresh cut tree, sweep up any needles that have fallen. Install your watering tube (that device that allows you to replenish the water to the tree). Then place the tree skirt around the bottom of the tree. If you are using an Everlasting Tree, just put the skirt around the stand.

After the Skirt has been installed, all that is left is for you and yours to enjoy the magic of the holiday season amidst the glow of your beautifully decorated tree!

baisch-footer-logoCopyright © 2014 – Direct Export Company. This article was made available with compliments of Baisch & Skinner, Wholesale Floral Distributor, Phoenix, AZ, welcoming Interior Designers, Decorators, Hotels, Caterers, Retail Florist, Event Planners, Restaurants and Church Organizations to our gorgeous 14,000 square foot, air conditioned, showroom conventionally located in Central Phoenix.

ljspacer

CLoveLOGOLarry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

letsbefriends2

Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com

Friday, November 28, 2014

How to Argue With Your Partner

Filed under: Arguments,Conflict,Guest Authors — Larry James @ 7:30 am
Tags: , , , ,

Laurie Puhn, Guest Author

You can argue and still have a happy marriage – if your arguments lead to solutions rather than lingering bitterness. Four ways to encourage this…

Alter argument patterns ~ Many couples have fallen into argument patterns that lead to more anger instead of a peaceful resolution. Maybe she criticizes, he gets defensive, she dredge up an old disagreement, he insults her, than she storms off – again and again.

How2ArgueMaking even a minor change near the outset of an argument could prevent this pattern from recurring, improving the odds of a positive outcome.

Example: As soon as an argument begins, stop and say, “Let’s sit down at the kitchen table and talk this through.” Sitting is a particularly useful suggestion because it helps the brain remain calm and rational during arguments rather than shifting into panic-driven fight-or-flight mode.

Ask neutral questions when you feel wronged by your spouse ~ Married people sometimes see nefarious intent in their spouses’ missteps where none truly exists.

When you feel you have been wronged, ask calm, nonaccusatory questions that encourage your spouse to explain his/her actions. Imagine that you’re a dispassionate detective trying to get to the bottom of the situation, not the aggrieved party.

Example: Your spouse is an hour late for dinner. Rather than explode in anger about how he take your time for granted, calmly say, “What happened? You’re an hour later than we had planned,” or “I tried calling your cell, but there was no answer.” There might be an innocent explanation. Perhaps your partner lost tract of time… or perhaps his phone battery was dead.

Stop arguing about pointless stuff ~ Don’t argue about what your adult children should do or over facts that you can easily check. There are pointless arguments. Your adult children probably aren’t going to do what you want them too do anyway, so it makes no difference if you or your spouse disagree over what should be. And if a fact can be looked up, just agree to look it up when you can, rather than let the disagreement become a full-blown argument. Alternatively, you could turn the disagreement into a lighthearted low-stakes bet – “I bet you a dollar that I’ve go this one right.”

Team up to find a solution ~ People are more likely to live up to the terms of an agreement when they feel that they had a role in crafting it. Thus the best way to prevent a problem from recurring in a marriage isn’t thinking up a solution – it’s sitting down with your spouse to think up a solution together.

Example: Don’t tell your spouse, “Keep a cell-phone charger in your car so you can call the next time you’re going to be Late.” Ask your spouse, “What could be done to avoid this happening again?” If your spouse doesn’t think up the charger situation, raise it yourself in the form of a question – “How about we keep cell-phone chargers in our cars?”

LauriePhunCopyright © 2014 Laurie Puhn, JD. Laurie Puhn, JD, is a couples mediator in private practice in New York City. She previously served on the board of the Harvard Mediation Program. She is the author of, “Fight Less, Love More: 5-Minute Conversations to Change Your Relationship Without Blowing Up or Giving in” (Rodale). Visit her Website at http://www.LauriePuhn.com.

ljspacer

CLoveLOGOLarry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

letsbefriends2

Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com

Wednesday, November 12, 2014

Five Promises of Radical Commitment

Filed under: Commitment,Guest Authors — Larry James @ 7:30 am
Tags: , , ,

David & Darlene Steele, Guest Authors

Commitment is the glue that makes marriage work, and if you want a Radical Marriage, nothing less than Radical Commitment will do. Here are our Five Promises of Radical Commitment to raise the bar and bring your marriage to the next level:

RadicalCommitment1. I Promise to Love You Every Day ~ I know that love is a choice and I choose to love you always. Though I can get busy and have my moods, you deserve my love and attention each and every day. I choose to love you even when I’m upset or frustrated. I know that loving you means being fully present, telling you my truth, being honest and transparent with my thoughts, feelings, wants, and needs so you know fully who I am. I strive to appreciate and treasure you each day that I’m blessed to have you in my life.

2. I Promise to Choose You First ~ You are the most important person in my life and I commit to not taking you or our relationship for granted, each and every day. Though work, home, finances, family, friends, hobbies, and other stresses and distractions can make this challenging, I choose you first, always.

RadicalMarriage

For more info, click the book cover!

3. I Promise to Take Responsibility ~ I understand that my outcomes are 100% dependent upon my own choices and actions, and that my thoughts and feelings are my own. I know that our relationship is a mirror reflecting myself back to me, and that my desire to be happy and feel loved by you depends upon my own ability to allow myself to be happy and to receive your love.

4. I Promise to Say “Yes!” ~ You deserve my positive response even when I don’t feel like it. Your needs and wants are a gift to my growth and well-being and the key to a great life together. I am committed to your happiness as much as my own. If I’m unable to grant 100% of your desire or request I will respond positively and work with you to find a creative way to meet your underlying need. You can feel safe with me as one who loves you and will respect and honor your needs, always.

5. I Promise to Be Your Hero ~ When life is challenging (and even when it’s not) you deserve a champion; someone who will be there for you, love and support you unconditionally, no matter what. I commit to being your hero and helping you feel emotionally and physically safe and secure. I believe in you and I believe in us.

Are You Ready for a Radical Marriage?

Does Radical Commitment seem challenging? It is! Radical Commitment is a choice to be there for your partner 100% without holding anything back. These five promises are a stretch. They require effort. They are not easy or automatic. Radical Marriage is about making intentional choices that maximize your fulfillment as a couple and allowing you to live beyond happily ever after.

Larry’s Review: This book, “Radical Marriage” will move you from an ordinary marriage – if you let it – to an incredible relationship that has you living to keep your commitments with one another. Now, that’s radical. Each of you will learn to take total responsibility for your marriage… and experience a radical satisfaction of your partnership that has always been within your grasp, but may have eluded you until you discover and embrace this new way of being with each other. Highly recommended. ~ Larry James. author of “How to Really Love the One You’re With

DavidSteeleCopyright © 2014 David & Darlene Steele. Reprinted with permission. From the book, “Radical Marriage: Your Relationship as Your Greatest Adventure.” David Steele, MA, LMFT, CLC, is founder of Relationship Coaching Institute, the first and largest international relationship coach training organization. David is a pioneer in the field of relationship coaching for singles and couples, author of numerous books, including the ground-breaking book for singles Conscious Dating: Finding the Love of your Life and the Life That You Love.

Darlene Steele, R.N. is Director of Training and Member Support for Relationship Coaching Institute. Darlene draws upon more than 30 years of marital experience and a practical approach to marriage and relationships to bring a unique perspective that complements David’s for a powerful personal and professional team exploring and sharing insights and strategies for creating a Radical Marriage. Together, Darlene and David are examples of ordinary, down to earth people living an extraordinary life through their relationship, passionate about each other and sharing the mission and message of Radical Marriage with other couples who want to “live beyond happily ever after.”

ljspacer

CLoveLOGOLarry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

letsbefriends2

Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com

Saturday, November 8, 2014

Give Up Living Your Life to Other People’s Expectations

Filed under: Guest Authors,Happiness — Larry James @ 8:30 am
Tags: , ,

Dana Saviuc, Guest Author

Way too many people are living a life that is not theirs to live. They live their lives according to what others think is best for them, they live their lives according to what their parents think is best for them, to what their friends, their enemies and their teachers, their government and the media think is best for them.

OthersExpectationsThey ignore their inner voice, that inner calling.

They are so busy with pleasing everybody, with living up to other people’s expectations, that they lose control over their lives. They forget what makes them happy, what they want, what they need… and eventually they forget about themselves.

You have one life – this one right now – you must live it, own it, and especially don’t let other people’s opinions distract you from your path.

Larry’s Note: Read, “15 Things You Should Give Up To Be Happy” by Dana Saviuc, an enthusiastic student of the arts, economics, psychology and spirituality.

danaCopyright © 2014 – Dana Saviuc. When nobody’s watching, I pretend I’m a moon sprite; transcendent, effervescent, ever curious. Yet my birth certificate says I’m a human born in Romania. Oh well. I’m an enthusiastic student of the arts, economics, psychology and spirituality – and I take great pleasure in shining light on life’s hidden truths, the paradoxes that both stare us in the face and hide from us in unison, as they silently shape our every waking moment. Visit Dana’s Blog and her Facebook page.

ljspacer

CLoveLOGOLarry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

letsbefriends2

Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com

Thursday, October 23, 2014

So… What About Opposite Sex Friends When You Are Married?

Filed under: Guest Authors,Relationships — Larry James @ 7:30 am
Tags: ,

Armida Dispieta, Guest Author

I’ve pretty much always had a guy as my “best friend,” all my life, and have a lot of close male friends both online and offline. I think there is a lot of value in having at least one platonic friend of the opposite sex, especially if you’re married or in a serious committed relationship. Here’s why:

1. It proves that your relationship has a healthy level of trust on both sides.
2. If you’re heterosexual, it gives you someone of the same sex as your partner to ask for advice.
3. You can vent to your friend so that you’re not constantly boring your partner with endless stories about all the minor dramas of your life. I appreciate it when my guy friends tell me “you’re obsessing about this, let it go” .. because my girlfriends won’t say that, they’ll just be sympathetic and let their minds wander.
4. It’s fun! I enjoy the company of both women and men, and there are benefits to having a wide variety of friends.

OppositeSexFriendsNow, for how to make it work.

Choose carefully. Make sure you are very clear with your friend of the opposite sex that you are married or committed and not available, and that if there is ever a conflict of interest or time, your relationship gets priority. Mention your partner/spouse often and if it seems to make your friend uncomfortable or jealous, that’s not a good sign. It’s best if the other person is also in a relationship. If appropriate, socialize as couples occasionally.

Be up-front with your partner that you have friendship only in mind, but this is a person that you want in your life. It helps to have a specific reason, like a shared hobby, networking or professional connection, or mutual friends. If your partner becomes uncomfortable or jealous, it’s essential to put the friendship on hold until you work things out. I don’t believe that a spouse or partner should ever have to say “it’s him/her or me.” If you have a healthy relationship and are respectful of your partner’s feelings, that situation should never arise.

You should have nothing to hide. Mention casually that you had lunch with X, and give a short summary of what’s going on in their life, job, etc. If you have online contact with your friend, tell your partner that you’re talking to them, let them read the chat window over your shoulder if they want, encourage them to say “hi” to each other from time to time… just as you would with a friend of your same sex.

Be loyal to your partner. Don’t ever badmouth or complain about them to your friend of the opposite sex, and be very careful about sharing things that should be kept private between you as a couple. If you do find yourself tempted to ask for serious relationship advice or cry on their shoulder, this should be a RED flag and you should focus on fixing your relationship. My rule of thumb is that my partner should know more about my friend than my friend knows about my partner. Note: this is tricky for women, because we’re used to telling our female friends private stuff about our spouse/partner, sex life, etc.

It is possible to flirt with a friend of the opposite sex, but it’s dangerous and very easy to let things get carried away. If you want to do this, I suggest having multiple friends and being deliberately and openly flirtatious with everybody equally, in public. If you ever find yourself in the position of saying or doing things in private that you would not want your partner/spouse to know about, you should break off the friendship immediately, because it is either already an affair or will be soon. And recognize that your friend may be the one who crosses the line. It happens. At that point you have to be ruthless, for the sake of your primary relationship.

Larry’s NOTE: A platonic relationship (opposite sex friends when you are married) is a non-issue when there is absolute trust between the spouses. Trust brings partners closer together. Consider it a Divine joining; the inevitable interweaving that occurs when two people love unconditionally and become as one. One of the most wonderful gifts of a loving marriage is the ability to trust your partner. This creates safety, security and a deeper capacity to love. You must never stop working on building trust in your marriage. Successful marriages are built on trust. It’s the foundation of a healthy relationship. There can be no trust without conversation; no genuine intimacy without trust. Armida said it very well, “If you ever find yourself in the position of saying or doing things in private that you would not want your partner/spouse to know about, you should break off the friendship immediately, because it is either already an affair or will be soon.”

BONUS Article: Faith and Trust… You Must Have Both!
Always Tell the Truth

ArmidaDispietaCopyright © 2014 Armida Dispieta. Reprinted with permission. Armida is an INTJ personality (INTJs focus their energy on observing the world, and generating ideas and possibilities), writer, mom of two boys, from the San Francisco Bay Area. Visit her articles at http://www.Quora.com/Armida-Dispieta

ljspacer

CLoveLOGOLarry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

letsbefriends2

Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

How to Fix a Relationship in 5 Steps

Lori Hollander, LCSW-C, BCD., Guest Author

Originally published on GoodTherapy.org.

“Can this relationship be fixed?”

Troubled couples often ask this question in relationship or marriage counseling. Having exhausted all the tools in their toolbox, partners come to therapy as their last resort, feeling rather hopeless.

FIXrelationshipFixing a relationship doesn’t require a personality makeover, but it does take effort and energy to hone your communication skills and create deeper intimacy and connection. These five steps will start you on your way to repair:

1. Face and embrace your differences. ~ Ever know a couple who never seemed to argue, who was the envy of other couples in your circle of friends? They seemed to be the perfect pair. Next thing you know, you’re shocked to hear they’re splitting up.

We see this all the time. Couples who appear the most at peace may not be dealing with their differences. They may look good on the outside, but underneath it all they have a mountain of hurt, anger, resentment, sadness, and fear that they have been unable to share in their relationship.

They may be “pleasers” who avoid conflict at all cost. Or maybe one person controls the relationship and the other submits. Either way, they are not facing and embracing their issues.

2. Practice effective communication skills. ~

• Carve out regular time for dialogue about concerns. State your thoughts in terms of behavior, without judgment, attack, or blame. Be specific, constructive, and positive.

• Use “I” statements to convey your thoughts and feelings. Own your part of the problem. Tell your partner how his or her behavior affects you and why; e.g., “When you left for work without saying goodbye, I worried you might be angry with me.”

• Hear your partner’s story fully. Everyone’s perception is valid, whether or not you agree with it. Listen without interrupting or judging.

• Be curious about your partner’s point of view; e.g., “Help me understand what you mean by …”

• Paraphrase your partner’s thoughts. Affirming that you heard him or her does not mean you agree or disagree. It just means, “I understand and believe that’s the way you see it.”

• Empathize with your partner’s feelings. Feelings are never right or wrong; they’re just feelings. And all of them are genuine. Expressing empathy validates that you heard your partner’s feelings without judgment; e.g., “I understand that’s how it makes you feel.”

• Take your turn. Once your partner feels heard, share your story and ask your partner to validate and empathize with your thoughts and feelings. When people truly feel heard and validated, whether or not they agree, it’s like magic. They automatically feel better. Only then can people problem solve and come to consensus on solutions.

• Put the problem on the “chalkboard,” view it as a team, and resolve the problem. After each partner has had an opportunity to be heard, it is much easier to be rational and work toward solutions. Identify specific actions each person can take to fix his or her portion of the problem.

3. Love your partner the way he or she wants to receive love. ~ Make a list of responses to: “I feel loved when you …” Anything goes—give me flowers, plan a weekend away, bring home my favorite candy bar, initiate sex. Exchange lists. Giving love the way your partner enjoys receiving it is the greatest gift of all. Receiving love the way you enjoy it isn’t bad, either.

4. Create the habit of loving. ~ On holidays, we express our love with gifts and affection. On the other days, we often forget. Consciously doing small acts of love every day creates “love habits”—loving behaviors that become habitual. Practicing love habits grows connection and intimacy. It’s as simple as greeting each other after work every day with a kiss on the lips and a long hug, establishing a regular date night, going to bed together, and planning regular sex dates. When you show your love, you will feel your love.

5. Express gratitude for “the things your partner is supposed to do anyway.” ~ Most people thank their partner when he or she does something special. What if you thanked her for cooking a meal, or him for mowing the lawn? But wait. “Why should I thank my partner for the routine chores?” The answer: “Because it feels good.” Every drop of love you express nurtures and feeds the relationship.

Practicing these five steps will grow your love and connection. Start today. Share this article with your partner and ensure that your relationship lasts a lifetime. It doesn’t happen by accident.

“Love is not about finding the right person, but creating a right relationship. It’s not about how much love you have in the beginning but how much love you build till the end.” —Unknown

Copyright © 2014 by Lori Hollander, LCSW-C, BCD. Lori Hollander, LCSW-C, BCD, is a licensed counselor and co-founder of Relationships Work, an innovative therapy practice and online resource center. Together with her husband, Bob, they encourage couples to consciously co-create their relationships in order to achieve a deeper, more intimate connection. You can visit Relationships Work online at: http://www.RelationshipsWork.com. Follow them on Facebook.

ljspacer

CLoveLOGOLarry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

letsbefriends2

Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com

Saturday, August 16, 2014

10 Steps to Peace Within!

Aine Belton, Guest Author

1. Acceptance ~ Take a moment to accept yourself, life and others just as you/it/they are.”

With acceptance comes peace. What’s more, as you accept yourself as you are, you more easily let go of what you’re not. Same goes for others.

It’s what you resist that persists, and judgment only compounds anything it judges.

PeaceWithinAccept yourself for who and where you are right now. Accept all of you – the light and dark, strengths and weaknesses – and open to more of the beautiful loving nature of your true self.

Acceptance helps with letting go, puts you back in flow, makes you more open and free to be more of who you are, and brings positive transformation.

By acceptance I don’t mean turning a blind eye to, tolerating or putting up with something that feels inappropriate to you (see responsibility below for more on that). It can, however, be a great first step on any path of healing and change and the peace that comes through that.

2. Letting Go ~ Holding on to anything, be that a person, situation, an expectation of how things should be, the past, etc., can stand in the way of peace. Perhaps you fear letting go because of feared consequences around that, but what I suggest is:

In letting go you can only ever win; if something’s for your best it will come back, else something better will.”

Control, a lack of trust in yourself or faith in the unfoldment of life and events, may also hinder a natural letting go that can be part of any change in life – change that may be for your best whether you realize that at the time or not.

Things you can let go of for greater peace include negative beliefs and stories (about yourself, life or others), un-serving thoughts, feelings, attitudes, habits, behaviours, situations, grievances, and any painful pasts.

What can you let go of today for greater peace in your life? Perhaps it’s fear, guilt, anger, pain, shame, blame, judgment, etc. Letting go will create the space for a new birth in your life. One thing that helps with letting go is forgiveness, shared next.

3. Forgiveness ~ Forgiveness of self and others is like a mind-body-soul detox. It liberates you from toxic emotions and draining attachments. Forgiving yourself also helps resolve guilt, shame and feelings of undeserving that can otherwise block peace and happiness. Forgiveness returns you to love and truth, is an immensely powerful force for healing and transformation, and a beautiful gift to give yourself or another.

4. Suspend Judgment ~ Judgment will always stand in the way of peace. Judging others, or yourself, lowers your energy and separates you from love and joy. Having an opinion isn’t the same as being judgmental.

What you judge in another may be something you secretly judge in yourself that you have not yet owned and are projecting outwards, what you have yet forgiven in yourself or others, or of beliefs you hold – that you can change. Use judgment as a means to become more conscious of yourself and inner beliefs, stories, repressed aspects of self possibly, and hidden agendas.

The more you love and accept yourself, the less you will judge others or be affected by judgments of others and the more at peace you will be.

When you judge you project your shadows onto others, when you love you project your light.”

5. Trust ~ Trust is a great ally of peace, and a potent anti-dote to fear which so often stands in the way of peace.

Trust yourself and your power as a creator and that you have what it takes. Trust in a loving universe that is on your side. Trust the doors that are opening and the ones that are closing. Relinquish control and allow yourself to be carried along a river of trust and flow towards bright realities aligned to your highest purpose with grace and ease.

Trust that you are on a co-creative journey, that there is a bigger picture, and that there is love, help and guidance available to you in every moment. Trust that the universe wants you to have what you desire as much as you do. Trust that you are loved more than you know, more than you will ever know!

Life doesn’t have to be a struggle. You can have what you desire with belief, intention, positive expectation, knowing you deserve (which you always do) and a willingness to receive.

Trust brings a sense of peace, ease, faith and confidence, and lessens any desire to control or have things be a certain way. If there is an area of your life you are fearful or doubtful around, lean into trust, embrace it, and let it embrace and carry you.

You deserve the best, ever and always, whether you realise that or not. The universe wants the best for you in every moment. You are the only one who can stand in your way.

Have faith and hope in your heart. Hold bright visions of the future, make positive choices for yourself from that bright future, and commit to those through action.

6. Feel your Feelings ~ Harboring constricting emotions obviously blocks inner peace. You may need to get in touch with and release those feelings first. This may mean moving through repressed pain, hurt, rage, guilt, loss, etc. to the peace that awaits on the other side.

I’ve no doubt you’ve experienced that deep sense of calm that comes after a big emotional release. If you are trying to stuff emotions down, instead let them move through you, you won’t feel at peace. There are emotional release techniques of many different kinds are available these days – EFT, energy healing, the Release Technique and Sedona Method.

Simply feeling your feelings is a powerful way to release them!

Repressing emotions, trying to control them, being scared or judgmental of them, obviously disturbs peace. Honour your emotions and listen to what they are telling you about what’s going on inside. If they are negative or uncomfortable, what thoughts, beliefs or stories are they pointing to that may need changing or releasing?

Expressing your feelings rather than denying or repressing them brings healing and release. By this I don’t mean wallowing in them or giving them undue attention if they don’t serve you (i.e. nip that self-pity in the bud!), nor do I mean dumping them on another under the banner of being honest and authentic – take responsibility for your impact.

Benefits-of-MeditationAs part of releasing your feelings you may want to write them down, share them with a friend, or express them through creativity.

When it comes to emotions don’t skirt in the shallows; dive in deep, get wet, let their currents be fully felt.”

7. Meditate ~ Meditation has so many benefits, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and even physically, as science is now proving. Meditation allows the conscious ‘monkey mind’ to still, brings calm and clearer perspectives and dissipates negative energy, allowing stress to wash away as you come to centre and connect to more of what’s real – more of the true nature of your being and the loving voice of your Higher Self – the spiritual being that you really are.

Meditating creates an opportunity to raise your consciousness, connect to your heart, honour the sacred (in you, and the Source of All, whatever name you hold for that), and for your energy to renew, recharge and to ‘plug-in’ to higher awareness and clearer more balanced and loving perspectives.

8. Take Responsibility ~ Responsibility brings freedom and empowerment, and with that comes peace. It shifts you out of victim mode, blame and resentment, for example, all of which block inner peace. The more you take responsibility for your life, the better able you feel to change it.

When you blame and complain you remain the same; responsibility brings freedom and change.”

You create or allow your experience at some level, whether you are aware of that and the roots and whys or not.

Become aware of the thoughts, feelings, beliefs, attitudes and choices that are creating your reality. Take responsibility for them and choose those that serve you. Shift the gears of your focus from fear and problems to solutions and desired outcomes, from blame to gain, wounded to winner, falling to soaring.

One of the swiftest ways to empower your life is to start realizing that you are its author and get writing a new script!”

9. Know You Are Loved ~ You are loved by people in your world, by your Higher Self How much do you let that love in? You are also loved totally and unconditionally by the Source of Creation, whatever name you hold for that. If you don’t walk a spiritual path, imagine there is a part of you that loves you totally and unconditionally, beyond reasons and seasons. This love is available to you in any moment and requires only your willingness to receive. There is nothing you need do to win this love, and nothing you can do to lose it. Open and allow this love in; the love that wants to be given in every moment. With that will come great peace.

Start by allowing in the possibility that you are loved totally and unconditionally right now, just as you are. You are loved more than you will ever know, in ways beyond that which you may be able to even currently comprehend.

Opening to the love that is always there for you helps you experience more of your true value, worth and inherent deserving, dissolves fear and heals pain of separation.

You are loved beyond reasons, you are loved beyond seasons, unconditionally, eternally, you are loved. “

10. Love, Love, Love! ~ Love yourself and others. There may be times this is easier than others – make it an overriding intention. On a path to love you may need to process what’s in the way of that love – pain, fear, sorrow, etc. Accept yourself wherever you’re at. Then affirm your willingness and permission to love yourself and others. There may be some people you choose to love from a distance, yet that love is still a valuable energy nonetheless.

The beauty with love is, whether near or far, you can love from wherever you are.”

Love lies at the heart of all that you seek, and separation from it at the root of your troubles and pain. Let love be a guiding light in your life that will steer your ship back to the shores of peace, happiness and joy. We all love to love and be loved. It doesn’t get better than that!

BONUS Article: Forgiveness… What’s it For?
An Affirmation for Letting Go
Faith and Trust… You Must Have Both!
Validate Your Partner’s Feelings

AineBelton

Copyright © 2014 – Aine Belton. Aine Belton is a visionary transformation expert, writer, speaker and facilitator in the spiritual fields. Having found love to be the most potent healer in her own life and that of others’ she launched the Global Love Project and its various initiatives as platforms and opportunities for opening to and celebrating humanitarian love. You can read a collection of Aine Belton’s articles at: www.globalloveproject.com/articles-by-aine-belton. The Global Love Project is a platform for honoring and celebrating humanitarian love, with numerous facets, initiatives, free resources, inspiration and events.

ljspacer

CLoveLOGOLarry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

commentSubscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

letsbefriends2

Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Author and Speakers BLOG” at: http://AuthorsandSpeakersNetwork.wordpress.com

Next Page »

Blog at WordPress.com.

%d bloggers like this: