Larry James' CelebrateLove.com BLOG

Tuesday, February 24, 2015

Here is Your Prescription…

Filed under: Friendship,Relationships — Larry James @ 7:30 am
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On the hit TV show, “Elementary,” Sherlock, after lots of banter back and forth with his shrink, his psychiatrist abruptly said, “Hour’s up!” and handed him a prescription. It read, “Make one new friend before next week.”

Friendship is a good thing, however, somehow we all forget how important it is. A friend is someone you know well and care about, who also knows and cares about you. We need more people like this in our lives. Great friendships improve all aspects of our lives. When you understand the value of friendship, you realize that every friend you have is important.

PrescriptionFRIENDSAs people get older, the days of youthful exploration, when life felt like one big blind date, are fading. Older people are generally more happy and forgiving and less judgmental than younger people. Our schedules compress, priorities change and we often become pickier in what we want in our friends. We need to focus on restocking our friends.

“When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand.” ~ Henri Nouwen

While social circles increase through early adulthood, friendship networks peak and start to decrease as you move through your twenties, according to a 2013 study published in the Psychological Bulletin. Researchers found that the drop in friendships was often due to marriage, parenthood, and a desire to focus on closer relationships.

FriendsWhile you’re building friendships it’s important to, work hard to keep the communication upbeat. Be conscious about the value and joy you’re adding to the other person and them to you. Fill your life with people who add value to it and let go of the ones who do not.

By the way, I am NOT talking about the friends you have on Facebook, Twitter, etc., – the ones you have never met and do not personally know. Those are make believe friends (unless you really do know them). I’m talking about the kind of friend you make plans to see every now and then, the ones you actually know; someone to talk to and hang out with on a regular basis, laughter, advice and so much more. The kind of good friends who allow you to make mistakes and love you anyway.

Here is your prescription… Make a new friend this week and pay it forward. (Encourage others to do the same!)

CLoveLOGOCopyright © 2015 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

commentSubscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Monday, January 20, 2014

Faith, Family and Friends

I’ve been a relationship coach since 1995. It seems that more and more couples are struggling to get their priorities right. The three topics that have come up over the past 8 to 10 months have been faith, family and friends. You would be wise to put these three things on your priority.

Maybe it’s just me, however I feel that your faith should always be first in your life. There are so many names for God. When I speak of faith, I invite you to call on whatever name you call your Higher Power. To me, faith in something higher than yourself gives you comfort at you live your life. It’s important to have a sacred purpose.

3FsThere are many religions: Judaism, Catholicism, Christianity, Buddhism, Hinduism and Islamic to name a few. Religion is a specific church’s organized approach to human spirituality which usually encompasses a set of rules, narratives, symbols, beliefs and practices, not unlike a “how-to” guide, that give meaning to the practitioner’s experiences of life through reference to God or a higher power usually within that church’s denomination.

Spirituality has to do with what we make of what religion offers us and what we make of our place in life relative to the Divine, to self and to others. Religion could be thought of, at least in very general terms, as a large shared human activity organized and passed along in time to help individuals in their relationship to the Divine and to one another.

God, a Higher Power – or whatever you choose to call what you believe in – can only inspire you to make the right choices. He alone cannot do it for you. You and your partner must do the work.

Higher spiritual values give meaning and purpose to our relationships. They determine what we will turn away from and what we will move toward. Shared spiritual ideas are the basis for a lasting, fulfilling love relationship.

Putting your family next is hot! There’s nothing thrilling about wiping noses and refilling sippy cups once the children are in the picture, but it’s what you do because it’s part of being a family. It’s great to meet people who would rather enthuse their children than to bring their work home with them every night. Always respect family no matter what. Everyone can tell the difference between someone who gives you true respect and one who offers a show of fake chivalry – or no consideration at all. In todays busy world, many of us have jobs that do not allow for much free time to spend time with our family. I suggest that you make time!

“The number one need in all people is the need for acceptance, the need to experience a sense of belonging to something and someone. The need for acceptance is more powerful in your family than anywhere else.” ~ Dr. Phil McGraw

It’s important to create a sense of security and peace in your home. People who take the family seriously plan family activities together… often. They think, “we” not “me.” They never let anything stand in their way as they stumble through this crazy balancing act of pursuing your dreams while putting family first. Show me someone who is willing to truly cherish their family and I guarantee that’s where you will find happiness. Remember to put the friendship back in your relationship too. It’s important to never exclude, never abandon and never forget about our families!

“When you have a family, you represent them as well as yourself, so always present yourself in the way you want to be known and remembered as. Carry yourself with dignity and respect when you’re around your family, and continue to do the same when you’re not.” ~ Chey B

It’s great to have a spiritual and emotional connection to other human beings, but what’s even more wonderful about having love for others is letting those people know through your actions and your words that you love them. There is no better way to experience your faith than through intimate connections with other people. That’s where friends come in.

Some people when that get married stop hanging out with their friends. Now they are married, some say their single friends don’t fit into the picture. Unless your friends are bad influences, this is a bad idea. Of course you can always and will always make new friends, but it’s important to continue your relationships with some of the friends you already have.

BONUS Articles: Religion vs. Spirituality

CLoveLOGOCopyright © 2014 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

commentSubscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com

Saturday, June 22, 2013

How to Get a New Circle of Friends

Filed under: Friendship,Relationships — Larry James @ 8:30 am
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Paul Sanders, Guest Author

As you have probably learned already, it’s not enough to be optimistic and successful, you also need to be in a success-inspiring environment. The most important element of that environment is the people in your life, and especially friends.

MakeNewFriends4If you’re surrounded with negative, or non-ambitious people, you’ll always have to work twice as hard to keep your success and optimism level.

In this article, I want to share with you the strategy that you can use to create the fun and inspiring circle of friends that you want.

What To Expect From Making New Friends

As you start making new friends, you benefit in three realms: intellectual, emotional, and physical.

In the intellectual realm, great friends give you access to advice, connections, critical thinking, quality feedback, and challenging you to reach explore your potential to make more money and be more successful.

In the emotional realm, great friends give you more motivation; they believe in you and your dreams; they tolerate and understand you; they remind you to be light-hearted and have fun; they cheer you up during life’s darkest moments, and celebrate your highest successes with you.

In the physical realm, with great friends, you go on trips, travels, and adventures together, you enjoy your weekly dose of fun and relaxation, you get to play and be silly like as if you’re a kid again, and discover loads of new places, experiences, and maybe even new hobbies.

With interesting and fun friends, not only can you be yourself, but you also get the support to be your best self!

How Do You Build A Circle Of Friends: A Two-Part Formula

After years of learning and experimenting with various strategies for making friends and building my social life from scratch, I have come up with a simple, yet powerful formula that works. This can work for you if you want to meet new people, and enjoy the benefits of having an empowering circle of friends.

1. Explore The New ~ As I always say, “If you’re not making new friends, you’re making less.” As people move, get in new relationships, change careers, or habits, you start to have less and less people to meet. This is why you absolutely need to be making new friends.

MakeNewFriends3To make it easy to meet new people, you can meet them through an interest group, or a club. To make it easier, join a club that is about something you love. To make it even easier, join the organizing team of that club or interest group, which will make it very easy for you to talk and get to know people.

2. Strengthen The Old ~ In the second part of the formula, you keep up with the people you meet, and introduce them to old friends that you still want to keep in your social circle. If you want to have an entirely new social circle, then introduce these new friends to each other, arrange plans, where you bring them together.

If people stick together because of you, they’ll always be somewhat grateful to you for that introduction. Don’t worry about them being friends and leaving you behind, only the losers do that, and as we said, you’re after great people here.

This is critical because if you bring people together, they’ll start making plans and bringing new people, as well. If you only know people separately, you’ll always have to do all the work of calling, and making plans.

If you adopt this two-part strategy, you’ll soon have more friends than you expected, and start being more selective when choosing friends.

How To Start Making Friends Today

If you’re eager to start building a great social life, filled with the friends you want, then I recommend that you start by doing two things:

First, go to your calendar and put a weekly marker on Tuesday or Wednesday evening. That marker will remind you to take an hour to email, text, or call anyone you want to meet in the coming days or weeks, or anyone new you met recently and want to see again.

Why does this work? Because you don’t have to think about it, you just do it once a week, and never worry about people forgetting about you, just because you forgot to stay in touch.

Second, go look for a club, an interest group, an expat community, or an organization that seems interesting and fun. Subscribe to one or two of those and attend their next events. If you see that the people there are the kind with whom you can enjoy time and learn new things, then you found a winner.

If you find a great expanding community that holds regular social events, then stick with it. That’s where you’ll be meeting new and interesting friends.

Don’t Fail At Making Friends…

When you’re staying in touch and arranging plans with good friends on a weekly basis, and including new ones, you’re really in a position where you literally can’t fail at friendship. You’re also preventing yourself from ever feeling lonely or misunderstood.

paulsandersCopyright © 2013 – Paul Sanders. Paul Sanders teaches you how to overcome shyness and loneliness; learn critical social skills; hold great conversations; make friends and build a social circle. To learn more about Paul, visit www.SocialCirclePower.com

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CLoveLOGOLarry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com

Friday, December 30, 2011

A Great Relationship is Built First on Friendship

Filed under: Friendship,Guest Authors,Spirituality — Larry James @ 9:00 am
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Steven Eric Connor, Guest Author

In all relationships, new and established, it’s wise to build upon a solid foundation of friendship. A real friend never gets in your way and will remind you when you’re getting in your own way.

couple-hugging-passionatelyIf you want more happiness in your life – create happiness for others and feel it spill over into your heart.

Love is friendship set on fire. ~ Jeremy Taylor

Tolerating one another is not the same as enjoying one another and being together.

Peace and love on the outside comes from knowing God on the inside. Let your spiritual awareness redirect your priorities and attention. Your faith and perseverance defines you – don’t allow anything to set you back when God is bringing you forward.

BONUS Article: Why “Friends First” Doesn’t Work

StevenConnorCopyright © 2011 – Steven Eric Connor. All rights reserved. Reprinted with Permission. – Steven Eric Connor is a seasoned Transformational Life Coach, Communication & Relationship Coach, Professional Sales Trainer and Profitability Consultant. Steven Connor knows firsthand the challenges of stepping outside one’s comfort zone to create and live a vibrant, more meaningful and fulfilling life. Visit Steven’s Website at: www.StevenEricConnor.com and follow him on Facebook.

CLoveLOGOLarry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

letsbefriends2

Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com

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