Larry James' CelebrateLove.com BLOG

Monday, September 28, 2015

Gals! How to Survive the Dating Daze!

How to negotiate the minefield of the dating game!

Tactic 1: Be fit for dating 
~ We all get knock-backs – where a man’s not interested or doesn’t call again after the first date or two. Women with what I call ‘dating fitness’ have optimism and confidence so that ‘knock-backs’ aren’t the end of the world. They know there’ll be other date-opportunities around the corner; that his lack of interest didn’t necessarily reflect personally on them; and that men prefer women who don’t make too many dating ‘trade-offs’ – like dumping friends as soon as he rings – just to get a date!

REL-DatingDazeTactic 2: Be fantastic at first impressions
 ~ I’d be rich if I had the proverbial pound for every woman who told me, “I missed a chance when this great-looking guy came into my office and I didn’t have the guts to even look at him!” By planning ahead with all my advice, you won’t miss opportunities as they arise and will still appear spontaneous! Once you’ve got a date lined up, just as footballers visualize scoring goals, start visualizing your impending date as being fantastic. Run it like a film through your head – the evening goes from strength to strength, affirming to yourself all your positive points, and being calm and confident because you’ve got yourself sorted early.

Tactic 3: Be confident – avoid the ‘I’m unworthy’ complex!
 ~ Confidence is critical to your dating success and men notice the dirty dozen signs of when a woman feels “unworthy.” The tell-tale signs of unworthiness include: when a woman gushes about her past successes and how many men are asking her out right now; when without prompting she claims she’s not looking for “anything special;” when she’s overly flirtatious with too much touching; and when she asks to be compared to his exes all too soon. Being confident is incredibly attractive and my advice is to at least appear confident – even if you’re nervous inside!

Tactic 4: Be sexy – not easy 
~ Hugh Grant once spoke for 99% of men when he said he missed the “chase” – implying that women just put it on a plate for him. This is the real world – not some phony ideal world where men are tender-hearted romantics who never judge a woman who sleeps with them soon. If only! When presented with the opportunity most men will have sex but won’t pursue a romance with what they see as an easy woman. Sounds harsh but deep down they feel she’s decreased her “social” value. However you can still have fun flirting until you decide when you’re ready to have sex – or not.

Tactic 5: Be busy – avoid the princess syndrome ~ 
Men want you to have a life – not hang by the phone – as it takes the pressure off them to “look after” you and be the center of your universe. Tactic five is about how “princesses” are high-maintenance. Most men do not want high-maintenance, they want an equal. Give up your “princess” ways and keep living life while you’re getting to know him.

Tactic 6: Be knowing – not a know-it-all ~ 
Men don’t want dumb blondes but at the same time find it hard to handle how aggressive some women have become in proving themselves through conversation. You can be assertive at work, you can be assertive with the salesman you’re buying your new car from or the estate agent trying to sell you a house. But with him – have fun! Talk to him like you don’t have anything to prove. Conversation when getting to know each other should be like a friendly game of tennis, not as though you’re smashing “aces” at him!

Free-Online-Funny-Quotes-1Tactic 7: Be able – to sort the princes from frogs ~ 
Listen to your common sense and intuition,e.g., if he never rings when he says he will, flirts with anything in a skirt, ignores you when with the boys – then he’s a frog! Too many women hope their “frogs” will morph into a prince. It doesn’t happen that way. Be clear on frog – behaviors to look out for so you don’t waste your precious time.

Tactic 8: Be mysterious – don’t give the game away ~ 
What’s sexier – a slow strip tease or flinging your clothes off? The former raises anticipation and heightens excitement. The same goes for letting a man get to know your personality and your life. You don’t always have to tell him where you’re going, who you’ve been speaking to, what you’re planning for a free night, or how long it takes to do your make-up, hair and shave your legs. Leave a bit of a mystery and he’ll keep coming back for more.

Tactic 9: Be a bit of a bitch – in the nicest possible way ~ Most women are just too nice. They feel they can’t have an opinion. Can’t say what they’d like to do on a date. Can’t stave off male pressure to have sex or even dump a guy when after two dates they know he’s not the one. Tactic 9 is about setting your boundaries early and expressing them, especially when he doesn’t seem to be getting the message!

Tactic 10: Be aware of dating blind spots ~
 There are loads of “blind spots” we need to watch out for, money being one of them. Don’t get flustered over who should pay. Just be straight about what you feel comfortable with. Or when he doesn’t ring after taking your number. Be aware of my “rule-of-three” – the critical hurdles of three dates, three weeks and three months. Learn how to cope with dates from hell (we’ve all had them!) and avoid the trap of stereotyping men. Essentially, keep your eyes open so you are as successful as possible in dating.

BONUS Articles: 4 Online Dating Safety Tips For Women
You Date Who You Are!
Is He the One? 6 Questions to Ask Yourself
14 Signs He’s Into You!
10 Reasons People Are Afraid of Online Dating
The 3 BIGGEST Mistakes Newly Singles Make

CLoveLOGOCopyright © 2015 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

the-archives2Click for Archives! ~ commentSubscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com
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Friday, June 12, 2015

Single? ~ Focus on This One Thing!

betterYOU

When you can be alone and not be lonely… that’s when Love will find you!

NOTlonelyYour ability to focus on a single task – a better you – will dramatically improve once you make the decision to do it. Making the decision is the hardest part. Over time, your decision to work on you every single day will reap tremendous benefits in your life and drastically increase your success rate with the opposite sex.

Staying focused is the key – a total commitment to you. Getting distracted is easy. You’re out in a crowd and you meet someone, begin to think, “He could be the one,” and your commitment to yourself goes out the window. It’s never good to start another relationship until some time has passed. There is no shame in being single for a while. Single is a word that best describes a person who is strong enough to live and enjoy life without depending upon someone else. Don’t allow yourself to get distracted.

Always remember: All failed relationships hurt for awhile, however losing someone who doesn’t appreciate and respect you is actually a “gain” – never a loss!

BONUS Articles: Learning to Love the One You’re With!
Alone Again?

NOTE: There are more than 30 FREE articles for “Singles Only” on this Blog. Click here!

CLoveLOGOCopyright © 2015 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

the-archives2Click for Archives! ~ commentSubscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

letsbefriends2

Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com
Visit Larry’s Relationship Pin Board on Pintrest @ http://www.pinterest.com/larryjames2012/relationships-blog/

Tuesday, November 4, 2014

Learning to Love the One You’re With!

Filed under: For Singles Only,Loneliness,Relationships — Larry James @ 7:30 am
Tags: , ,

If you have recently come out of a relationship, heed this word of caution. It may be wise to distance yourself from relationships for a while. Take a breather. The tendency of new singles often is quickly to find someone else to be with. Most ministers and mental health professionals agree that that is not a good idea. It is a colossal mistake!

For some people being in a relationship becomes their “drug of choice.” They skip around from relationship to relationship. Some get stuck. They feel as though they always have to be in a relationship. They develop the dependency of “needing” a relationship. That is not healthy. Some people allow their feelings of insecurity about being alone to keep them stuck, often in an unhealthy relationship.

LoveThe1YoureWithOur former relationships never cease to provide us with new and exciting questions, the answers to which can lead to the breakthrough necessary for a healthy love relationship in the future. The rewards of personal inquiry are invaluable and can assist us greatly in being ready for another relationship when the time is right.

I believe that every relationship we are in serves a definite purpose. It fulfills a need for us as we fulfill needs for someone else. Remember, we should only look back to see how far we’ve come or to see how much we’ve learned. We can look at our past love relationships and focus on the good we learned from them. I must admit that at times this may be difficult.

Spend time working on you. Work on developing your own self as an individual. The one you are with is you! Reinvent a relationship with yourself. Make it a new and exciting relationship; one you can be proud to carry over into your next relationship with someone else. Nobody wants damaged goods.

Allow time for the healing that is necessary for you to feel comfortable with being alone. That is the only way you can learn how to really be with someone else in the future. After coming out of a love relationship, it is normal to feel rather insecure for a while.

It takes a while to adjust to your new beginning. The delayed gratification is worth it. One of the rewards is discovering that the more time you take for yourself, the more love you will have to give to your future love partner.

Choose to be alone for awhile. Being independent enough to be alone is a virtue. Cultivate it. When you can learn to be comfortable with being with yourself, then you may be getting closer to being ready for a healthy love relationship with someone else. During this time of aloneness you will discover a clear distinction between being lonely and being alone.

Being alone can help you in getting comfortable about being with yourself. When you are comfortable about being with yourself, your feelings of loneliness will gradually disappear. Spend some time learning to be good company with yourself.

Avoid the self-created fear of being alone. Accept that we do this to ourselves. It can bring no good into our lives. We allow fear to cause us to withhold ourselves from others. Fear breeds insecurities.

It could be said, for example purposes, that even Tarzan, Lord of the Jungle, was insecure. He would swing from vine to vine, not letting go until the next vine was safely in hand. Does this sound familiar? This may make sense when you are in the jungle. When you are swinging high above the ground, your life depends on it.

Your life does not depend, however, on always being in a relationship. The need to be always swinging from one love partner to another is not in your best interest. If you are coming from a love relationship, the last thing you need is another one. . . right away, that is. In this scenario, there is no safety in numbers.

We are so afraid of finding ourselves hanging in midair, we latch onto the first available vine that happens along. Not a good idea!

Leap into your greatest fear. . . be by yourself for a while. Take a good look at what “hanging in midair” feels like. You may be surprised! You will be okay. It won’t be the end of the world. Although it may feel like it, that feeling won’t last forever.

womaninmirrorIf you haven’t caught on by now. . . the one you’re with is the one you see in the mirror every morning.

It is wise to practice intimacy with “self” during your abstinence from relationships. Pray to know God better. Thank him for the courage to get serious about the relationship you have with you. Get to know God. Get to know you. Give yourself the gift of solitude. When you are alone. . . journal. Get in touch with your true feelings. Work on falling in love with yourself for a change and see how great that feels! Be your own significant other. Practice the art of loving you. Take the precious time out that is necessary to rediscover who you are without a love partner.

maninmirrorYou must first learn to be alone and happy before you can be together and happy. Learn that it is possible for you to live alone and not be lonely. Discover how to be self-sufficient. Don’t be dependent on others for your own existence.

Know that when you eventually do connect with someone you can love, your happiness will be enhanced by just knowing that being in the relationship is your choice and not something you need or must have to survive. To have found someone you can share your life with is one of love’s ultimate adventures.

Not having a relationship doesn’t keep you all warm and cuddly at night; however, getting yourself ready for a really great love relationship must be your highest priority. Be true to yourself first, it is well worth the wait.

Being alone may call up all the feelings you were afraid you would have if you were ever alone. . . and some you could have never imagined. The pain seems to go on and on, though only if you allow it. Healing takes time. Stay with solitude. Don’t be tempted.

At the end of your tunnel is love-of-self and the healing love that only God can provide. You must attain this awareness before you can be in a healthy love relationship with someone else. In times like these, when you are alone with your feelings, life can feel empty.

You can gain much insight into the power of your attitudes in the stillness of looking inward. Your body believes every word you say. Your words and thoughts govern how you feel today and how you will feel tomorrow. A quiet and peaceful mind takes form as a quiet and peaceful body. Peace, be still.

See what it feels like to walk hand-in-hand with yourself. You must first do that before you can walk hand-in-hand with someone else. Give yourself permission to do what may feel risky. Discover new ways of thinking and being. To allow intimacy to be present in a relationship with another, you must first seek intimacy with yourself.

Some of our clearest thinking about relationships can occur when we are not in a relationship. Our mind is often sharper when informed by our own feelings. We are more humble and acutely more in touch with the hurts of the past. We are far more open to new ideas.

Take advantage of this opportunity to learn all you can about yourself and what makes a healthy love relationship. It is in the search for what it takes to have a healthy love relationship that we become more receptive to listening for new ways to make our relationships work better in the future. The very process of searching opens up many new options.

Make having a relationship with yourself your number one priority. Then, and only then, can you move on to what’s next!

BONUS Articles: The 3 BIGGEST Mistakes Newly Singles Make and How to Avoid Them!
You CAN Be Alone and Not Be Lonely…

CLoveLOGOCopyright © 2014 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

commentSubscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

letsbefriends2

Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com

Saturday, April 26, 2014

LoveNote for Singles Only!

Filed under: For Singles Only,Relationships — Larry James @ 8:30 am
Tags: , , , ,

LoveNote… For Singles Only ~ Trust your heart! It always tells the truth!

When you have a concern that life is passing you by and you wonder why you haven’t found your true love… that’s your head speaking. It gets your attention by creating a worry about not finding anyone. Quit looking. That may be part of the problem. When your head talks it reflects what you think about the situation. Anxiety and fear feel right at home in the mind. They know they have no power other than what you give them. They know you sometimes aren’t quite sure you know who does have the power. Your heart knows the truth.

LoveNote4SinglesOnlyThe beginning of the journey from the head to the heart is only ‘a decision to begin it’ away. It begins when you become curious enough to self-inquire; to dig deep enough to discover what is in your heart; to discover what you didn’t know you didn’t know! Your heart will become open, active and brave.

Your head makes up things based upon what you already know. Often those are the things that haven’t worked very well for you in the past. Often that’s what keeps you stuck. It would have you think this journey is on a worrisome and fearful path.

The heart explores new ways of being. It helps you discover the possibility that love is. When love speaks from the heart, it gets your undivided attention with words of encouragement, understanding, courage, confidence and acceptance. You take notice.

Your head speaks out of both sides of its mouth. Commitment in a relationship demands dependability. Your head wobbles from one idea to another, with no particular focus. It can come up with more reasons ‘not to’ than it can good reasons to take the leap with faith and know you will be okay. It makes up fear so it doesn’t have to risk taking the leap into the unknown. Part of the problem is it thinks it knows the unknown and it cannot know.

Words from the heart might sound like this:

“Remember to put me first! I am love. I will never let you down.”

“Listen to me! I will tell you when it’s time to take the big step. I know you are still afraid. To step over into love, you must first walk through your fear. You can do it if you take my lead.”

“You are loving you more now. That’s good. You are in process and being prepared to be somebody’s ‘favorite person to love.’ Patience. This takes time. Soon you will be ready.”

“You are beginning to discover genuine intimacy with yourself. Self-intimacy is good. Have patience. You’re getting to know you better. Take it slow and steady. Easy now. You’re doing very well.”

LoveNotes4Lovers

More LoveNotes for Singles & Couples! Click here!

“Remember, I am love. When you are ready to listen I will speak and you will know it’s me speaking and you will know it’s time.”

How can you be sure you are really ready for a new relationship?

In your heart you will know it’s time when you no longer feel the need to be in a relationship… and you are comfortable with that idea. That kind of love for yourself lights your heart-light. It makes you visible to others who have similar feelings. Your heart-light is loves’ subtle, yet silent signal. It lights the path to love. Proudly and fearlessly let it shine.

The next seemingly logical dilemma is: Where do I look? That’s your head talking again.

Do life! Live fully! Be wherever you show up! Really be who you are wherever you go. Make certain your ‘best foot forward’ is really who you are and not someone you think someone else thinks you should be. “Where do I look?” comes from fear. It makes you think that you need to be looking.

It is not necessary to look. Only pay attention. Put yourself in loves’ way. Be active where other people are. Remember: Like attracts like! Let your heart-light shine.

You won’t find him or her… you will find each other. When need disappears, choice shows up! Not needing to be in a relationship with someone creates the freedom to choose to be in a relationship with someone. In your heart you will know… it’s time.

When you learn to really love yourself, your energy is focused on love not fear, which often appears as desperation. Redirect your energy to listen to the healthy and truthful messages of the heart. Thus begins the journey from the head to the heart.

Only trust your heart! It only and always tells the truth!

LoveNote From the Authors Heart… For Singles Only ~ We get pretty much what we expect to get in our relationship. What we expect to get is what we focus on. If it turns out good, we should not be disappointed. If it turns out bad, we should not be disappointed. We got what we expected. What else did we expect to get?

Perhaps we should learn to be in a relationship with no expectations. In a spirit of unity, only and always work together, all the time, to create the best relationship we can. All the time. With intention. In a spirit of unity. All the time. If we could do that, maybe we wouldn’t have to be concerned about expectations when they surface; we would know things were always going to be as good as the people working on them.

Perhaps that is why it is important to have a great relationship with ourselves. When we can do a great relationship with ourselves, we can do a great relationship with two people. When we reach that place, we can have a great relationship with someone else because we already know how to be in a great relationship… with ourselves!

CLoveLOGOCopyright © 2014 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

commentSubscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

letsbefriends2

Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com

Saturday, March 1, 2014

Alone Again?

Filed under: For Singles Only,Relationships — Larry James @ 8:30 am
Tags: , ,

Being alone can help you in getting comfortable about being with yourself. When you are comfortable about being with yourself, your feelings of loneliness will gradually disappear. Spend some time learning to be good company with yourself.

Avoid the self-created fear of being alone. Accept that we do this to ourselves. It can bring no good into our lives. We allow fear to cause us to withhold ourselves from others. Fear breeds insecurities.

alone-againIt could be said, for example purposes, that even Tarzan, Lord of the Jungle, was insecure. He would swing from vine to vine, not letting go until the next vine was safely in hand. Does this sound familiar? This may make sense when you are in the jungle. When you are swinging high above the ground, your life depends on it.

Your life does not depend, however, on always being in a relationship. The need to be always swinging from one love partner to another is not in your best interest. If you are coming from a relationship, the last thing you need is another one… right away, that is. In this scenario, there is no safety in numbers.

We are so afraid of finding ourselves hanging in midair, we latch onto the first available vine that happens along. Not a good idea!

Leap into your greatest fear… be by yourself for a while. Take a good look at what “hanging in midair” feels like. You may be surprised! You will be okay. It won’t be the end of the world. Although it may feel like it, that feeling won’t last forever.

It is wise to practice intimacy with “self” during your abstinence from relationships. Try this: Pray to know God better. Thank him for the courage to get serious about the relationship you have with you. Get to know God. Get to know you. Give yourself the gift of solitude. When you are alone… journal. Get in touch with your true feelings.

Work on falling in love with yourself for a change and see how great that feels! Be your own significant other. Practice the art of loving you. Take the precious time out that is necessary to rediscover who you are without a love partner.

You must first learn to be alone and happy before you can be together and happy. Learn that it is possible for you to live alone and not be lonely. Discover how to be self-sufficient. Don’t be dependent on others for your own existence.

Know that when you eventually do connect with someone you can love, your happiness will be enhanced by just knowing that being in the relationship is your choice and not something you need or must have to survive. To have found someone you can share your life with is one of love’s ultimate adventures.

Read this slowly, let it sink in: Not having a relationship doesn’t keep you all warm and cuddly at night; however, getting yourself ready for a really great love relationship must be your highest priority. Be true to yourself first, it is well worth the wait.

CLoveLOGOCopyright © 2014 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

letsbefriends2

Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com

Thursday, August 29, 2013

For Lonely Singles Only

Filed under: For Singles Only — Larry James @ 7:30 am
Tags: , , , ,

If you do not cherish the companionship you find with yourself, then you can never find it with someone else.

It is important to be your own best friend. Doing so gives you knowledge of yourself. You must have a clear understanding of what true friendship is before you can earn the right to share it with someone else.

HEADSupSinglesOnce that status is achieved, the warmth of the friendship you have for yourself will radiate and attract another who has shared a similar experience; someone who will appreciate you for the true friend you really are.

One more thing, never look for a relationship if you are lonely. No one else can make you happy. You have to do that for yourself and you can’t be happy if you are lonely all the time.

Remember, “like attracts like!” Lonely people seem to either choose to remain alone or to hang out with other lonely people. You will not find love there. Lonely people often show up as being very needy. My best advice: Avoid them!

If you have just come from a relationship, you would be wise to not jump back into another relationship too soon. Give yourself some time for the hurt to heal. Take as much time as you need.

The good news is… once you can be okay with being alone and not be lonely… love will find you. However, it will only find you if you make yourself available for love. Mix and mingle with single friends. Live your life. Focus on having fun with other singles. Keep working on you to make yourself ready for Love.

BONUS Articles for Singles: The Three Biggest Mistakes Newly Singles Make
You Date Who You Are!
3 Lies You’re Telling Yourself That Keep You Single
Single and Ready for Love… Caution!

CLoveLOGOCopyright © 2013 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

letsbefriends2

Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com

Thursday, August 1, 2013

3 Lies You’re Telling Yourself That Keep You Single

Filed under: For Singles Only,Relationships,Self-Image — Larry James @ 7:30 am
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Virginia Clark, Guest Author

Here’s how your negative internal monologue may be pushing love away from you.

ilie-to-yourselfI don’t want you to feel like a crazy person, but have you noticed how much you talk to yourself? Everyone does it, and you’re probably not an exception. Even now, while you read these words, your mind is chatting to you.

Indeed, our self-talk is active during every waking moment. Much of what we say to ourselves is made up of repetitive ideas that we’re not even aware we’re thinking. If the majority of these ideas are negative, our actual experience will in turn be tinged with negativity, giving us the very opposite of what we desire. After all, what we desire is love in a healthy relationship.

If we don’t get wise to the self-talk going on in the privacy of our minds, we’ll end up sabotaging our relationships, creating pain and misery for ourselves and for those around us. Often, we tell our friends and family one thing, but secretly think the opposite. For example, we may say that we’re happy being single, and excited about the search for a partner. In our minds, we’re terrified, scolding ourselves for not yet finding a good guy. In fact, there seems to be a “collective unconscious” of single women’s thoughts.

Speak-the-truthHere are the three lies I hear women telling themselves most often:

1. I will never find a man who’ll love me.
2. I’m not worthy of a great love.
3. I will die alone.

If these thoughts are all too familiar, you’re in need of some positivity. Luckily, there’s a remedy. We have to recognize that these beliefs are a product of our fear, and that they must be put to rest by acknowledging some truths.

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Instead, tell yourself:

1. There is someone out there for everyone. I see proof of this as I look at the many different kinds of couples all around me. I choose to believe that if I exist, so does he. If I am longing to find my partner; he must be longing to find me right now as well.

2. No one is perfect. That includes myself and the man who’ll love me. There are many imperfect people in wonderful relationships, and I’m no different. I know I’m worthy of a great love because if I wasn’t, then I wouldn’t have this strong desire for one.

3. This is my fear talking and it has nothing to do with my life or ability to love. I’m just being overly dramatic and scaring myself. No one knows the future or how their life will end. I refuse to hurt myself with these thoughts any longer. I choose to live in the present and enjoy my life.

clarkWe will always have negative self-talk; it’s a part of our makeup and it’s not going away. But we also have the ability to redirect our thoughts, to catch the negative ones that hold us back and to choose healthier ones that move us forward.

Copyright © 2013 – Virginia Clark. Virginia has coached hundreds of woman by helping them to uncover their blocks to love and marriage. She is the author of “It’s Never too Late to Marry.” With over 14 years of experience as a successful Certified Hypnotherapist, she is an expert on the power of the subconscious mind and it s ability to transform one s love life. You can find out more at www.ItsNeverTooLateToMarry.com

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CLoveLOGOLarry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
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Tuesday, July 16, 2013

You Date Who You Are!

Filed under: Dating,For Singles Only,Relationships,Self-Image — Larry James @ 7:30 am
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Mastin Kipp, Guest Author

We date at the level of our self-esteem. Your relationship is a direct reflection of your own self-love and self-worth. A lot of TDL (TheDailyLove.com) Seekers have written in saying that they are in a relationship (dating, marriage, etc.) with someone who they really are into, but they are not getting their needs met. They keep asking me how they have to change to keep the relationship going.

beyourselfPause.

Let me be clear – the only way we should have to change is to be more authentically ourselves. This means compromise, of course, but this also means not abandoning ourselves to please another.

The common question seems to be: “How can I change myself so this will work?” and the response is “Don’t change yourself – BE YOURSELF!”

Many Seekers are terrified of being alone and of the unknown. And I understand, it can be hellishly uncomfortable in there. But if your needs aren’t being met in a relationship, it’s not the other persons fault. The responsibility is on you to communicate your needs and to choose someone who honors you, cherishes you and loves you.

If you don’t love, honor and cherish yourself, you will settle and your needs won’t get met.

To be a Seeker we must get comfortable with the unknown and with letting go of toxic relationships. We must step into the Faith that we can create the life we truly desire, not as we change to please others, but as we step more into our own authentic selves. This means communicating our needs, having higher standards around the people we are dating and stepping into our own self-love and self-care.

Of course in any relationship we have to compromise and find a middle ground. This is part of being in relationship. But this blog is aimed at the thousands of folks who have written in asking how they can change to please other people. Please yourself first and then you will attract someone who is pleased with you.

This means embracing the unknown and being okay with letting go of something or someone that isn’t meeting your needs.

Ask yourself this question: “If I REALLY loved myself, what would I do?”

dailylovemastin_picCopyright © 2013 – Mastin Kipp. Mastin Kipp is the founder of TheDailyLove.com – a website, daily e-mail and twitter account that serves soulful inspiration to a new generation. Started as a feed of quotes sent to Mastin’s friends, The Daily Love shot to fame after a tweet from Kim Kardashian. And a love monster was born. Hosting Mastin on her weekly show Super Soul Sunday, Oprah dubbed him an “up and coming thought leader of the next generation of spiritual thinkers.” Both an honor, and a mouthful. Mastin’s mission is to connect people back to what makes them happy. Happy people make better choices, and better choices make for a better planet.

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CLoveLOGOLarry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
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Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com

Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Single and Ready for Love… Caution!

Caution: Don’t fall in love with a broken heart. That would be someone who has just come out of a relationship and hasn’t yet had enough time to heal.

You knew that, right? When your heart has been broken, it takes time for it to heal. You do not want to carry that pain into another relationship until you don’t hurt anymore. Even then, it is important to take some time be see what being alone for awhile feels like. Do not rush. That would be another mistake.

firstdateOkay. So… it’s been enough time. He’s been gone long enough. You’re ready to begin dating. You just want to see what’s out there.

You finally exercised your forgiveness option – both for him and yourself; read relationship and personal growth books, hired a relationship coach; went to a seminar or two and spent lots of time alone, working on you. That’s a great start in the right direction. Not everyone you meet on your dating quest has been doing what you’ve been doing for the last year or so. You know. The stuff that lets you know you are ready for another relationship – or, at least, to see what’s available.

You will probably attend a few singles groups. That will help to be around people again. Maybe even sign up on a “We Help You Get a Hot Date” website. Sometimes that works. Sometimes it doesn’t.

Most single women who come to me for relationship coaching tell me that most of the men they meet just want to get in their pants. Get a clue, guys! They tell me that guys should grow up; that they are the one’s who need coaching about how to talk to and be with a woman. Know anybody like that? They also say that men seem to want to talk about their past relationship. Not good. There may come a time when that could be relevant but certainly not on the first date or two.

You may have to kiss a lot of frogs. You also need to know that there is no perfect man (or woman either, for that matter). No knight on a horse. No “the one.” And you would be wise to show up around people until love finds you. In my opinion, looking for love is like showing up at a single event with a sign on your forehead that reads, “I’m available.” BE love. Be the kind of person that you know someone would love. Celebrate Love wherever you go and with whomever you are with.

Here are a couple of ideas. You have a right to be picky. However, not too picky. You will meet a couple of jerks once in a while. Smile. Say, “No thank you” when he asks to see you again. You need to know the quality of a man’s character, personality type, is he married to his job, “is he married!”, does he have time for a little romance, etc. Make a list. You will probably be adding to it after the first date or three. Or you may even cross off a few things that you have discovered aren’t that important.

slowdownNot everyone you meet is really ready for a relationship, much less a “committed” relationship. Come across that way and you will probably scare away a few good ones as well as the bad ones. Many of the people you will meet – both men and women – still have broken hearts and they are still feeling the pain.

Never settle for the first guy that makes you feel good. When you haven’t had a warm tender hug in a long time, it can be very tempting. Take it slow. I can say don’t do this, but I know you will. You will have an occasion to play the “comparison” game; “He’s just like my ex!” Not a good game to be playing. You only want to look back to see how far you’ve come and the lessons you learned along the way. Don’t make the same mistakes. You know the ones. Take plenty of time to get to know each other. Have great conversations. Take your time. When you have a relevant question, ask it.

Above all… don’t fall in love with a broken heart. That would definitely throw your plan to be happy in a loving relationship totally out of balance and in a downward spiral. If I’m talking to you. I hope you can see that.

BONUS Articles: For Men Only – “How to Attract Women: Stop Making These 10 Body Language Blunders
For Singles Only ~ Not to Worry… Love Will Find You!
More articles for Singles. Click here!

CLoveLOGOCopyright © 2013 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com

Sunday, December 16, 2012

For Singles Only ~ Not to Worry… Love Will Find You!

Filed under: For Singles Only,Personal Growth — Larry James @ 8:30 am

The time of real personal growth is when you are alone. Singles should use this time to reflect on the behaviors they did and didn’t like in their former partner.

beingalon1It’s time to experience how it feels to stand on your own; taking care of you, paying special attention to who you need to become to attract a passionately monogamous, infidelity-free, fun in the bedroom relationship. You must learn to stand alone again before you can again stand together… side by side.

“Only those people who are capable of being alone are capable of love, of sharing, of going into the deepest core into the other person – without possessing the other, without becoming dependent on the other, without creating “the other,” reducing the other into a thing, and without becoming addicted with the other. They allow the other absolute freedom, because they know if the other leaves, they will be as happy as they are now. Their happiness cannot be taken by the other, because it is not given by the other.” ~ Osho, Indian Mystic

beingaloneSome people allow their feelings of insecurity about being alone to keep them stuck. Choose to be alone for awhile. Being independent enough to be alone is a virtue. Cultivate it. When you can learn to be comfortable with being with yourself, then you may be getting closer to being ready for a healthy love relationship with someone else. During this time of aloneness you will discover a clear distinction between being lonely and being alone.

Being alone can help you in getting comfortable about being with yourself. Solitude is an achievement. Cherish being alone. When you are comfortable about being with yourself, your feelings of loneliness will gradually disappear. Spend some time learning to be good company with yourself.

“I think it’s good for a person to spend time alone. It gives them an opportunity to discover who they are and to figure out why they are always alone.” ~ Amy Sedaris

Being alone is also a great time to spend time on you – meditate, work through problems in your life, focus on your goals – there are numerous things you can do with this time alone. Being alone does not make you lonely. You do that to yourself. Use it as a time to clear your head. Being with someone else is never the answer. For some, being alone can be scary, however it is not as scary as being with someone who still make you feel alone.

beingalone2Avoid the self-created fear of being alone. Accept that we do this to ourselves. It can bring no good into our lives. We allow fear to cause us to withhold ourselves from others. Fear breeds insecurities.

People who really love themselves will often say, “Sometimes I actually love being alone.” Being Alone is sometimes fun, necessary for introspection and at other times, melancholy and boring.

You must first learn to be alone and happy before you can be together and happy. Learn that it is possible for you to live alone and not be lonely. Discover how to be self-sufficient. Don’t be dependent on others for your own existence.

At the end of your tunnel is love-of-self and the healing love that only God can provide. Pray that your aloneness may spur you into finding something to live for. You must attain this awareness before you can be in a healthy love relationship with someone else.

When you can be alone and not be lonely… Love will find you!

CLoveLOGOCopyright © 2012 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com

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