Larry James' BLOG

Saturday, April 3, 2010

Get Your Flirt On!

Filed under: Flirting,Relationships — Larry James @ 6:00 am
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roseflirtThe art of flirting does not end when the vows of marriage are taken. Remember to flirt with your lover, the way you did when you first met. Do it with grace and flair. Flirting is an art. Memories of past flirting are your ally.

Flirting is a great way to remind one another that you are still attracted to each other. You should enjoy the love you share. Toss out those subtle little signals that tell your lover you are still interested; signals that show you remember the real magic that lit the fire in the beginning. Snuggle. It’s friendly, it’s fun and flatters your partner. It keeps the relationship fresh.

Flirting with your partner is one of the necessary ingredients to keeping your relationship upbeat, romantic, and hot. It helps release tensions. Flirting causes many sparks to fly in a marriage and it puts a zing in your love life and keeps the hormones alive and dancing. It keeps the spark alive. It refreshes the feelings you have for each other. It’s healthy human behavior. The more often you express your positive emotions to each other, the stronger your relationship becomes. It’s a positive way to communicate your love to each other. Flirting is a basic instinct, a part of human nature.

When either partner stops flirting, it is more difficult to reinvent the spark that once existed. This is because people tend to give up on a relationship that they feel has no potential to be exciting anymore.

textflirtYou don’t have to be with your partner to flirt. You can flirt by e-mail, instant messages, FAX, post-it notes, texting (digital flirting), romantic cards and more. You can flirt leaving naughty or nice notes in places they have yet to discover. Write a list of things you love about your partner and hide it where it can be found. Place a favorite chocolate on their pillow at night. Send your partner flowers, candy, or balloons, just because.

Leave a coupon for a massage, a bubble bath (light some candles), slow dance (play their favorite music), etc., on their pillow to be redeemed after the house is all quiet and the children are in bed. Find a short romantic poem and read it your partner or send it by mail to their office.

blowingkissTry a little non-verbal flirtation. Sometimes just making eye contact and a quick wink and a smile can communicate love. A brief shoulder rub feels good too. Blowing a kiss from across the room works too. An unexpected compliment can prompt a smile. A peck on your partner’s neck can show that you care.

Never demean your partner’s passions. Show an interest in their interests. This is true of both men and women. You don’t have to dive into your partner’s interests, but you do have to respect them. Listen when they talk about them. Ask questions.

Acknowledge your partner when you catch them doing something right! Patricia Volonakis Davis offers: “When something happens that he warned you about, or predicted would happen, tell him about it. Start by saying, “Well, you were right again.” Say it with pride, not annoyance. He’ll then, for sure, say, “About what?” You got his attention. Who doesn’t like to be told how brilliant they are?”

flirtlegundertableWhen your partner cries, hold their hand. Physical touch is also very important. Men appreciate being touched as much as women even if they don’t say so. Give your partner a tender hug. Bring them an iced coffee or latte. Send your partner a sexy text message during the day. Play “footsies” under the table when you’re out to dinner.

Say thing that cause your partner to feel good about you and the relationship: “If I didn’t know you were already married, I’d jump your bones and ask you for a date.” Or. . . “Those jeans fits you perfect, is there enough room in there for me too?”

Never, I repeat, never flirt with someone else in the presence of your partner. It’s rude and disrespectful. It can create jealousy problems in your relationship. Only flirt on your own turf. Don’t do it anywhere else, unless it’s with your partner. A little jealousy, however, affirms the affection and connection within the relationship.

touchflirtYou teach people how to treat you and the relationship, and by keeping quiet over the things that bother you, like flirtation, you will only cheat yourself and your partner from experiencing a relationship you both deserve. Convey your romantic intentions in a playful and romantic way through your flirting with each other.

It’s the little flirty gestures of appreciation and gentle acts of thoughtfulness that say a great big, “I love you!” Fan the flames of creative romance in your relationship by becoming an expert in the art of flirting with your partner.

“Touching is another way of flirting. Rubbing your spouses back or squeezing their hand. The human touch can add so much excitement and freshness to your relationship. When was the last time you really hugged or held each other close. Intimacy doesn’t always have to have sex involved to be close and intimate with each other. Many times a touch will say so much that words can not express.” – Timothy Scheiman

flirtRead: “100 Fun and Fabulous Way to Flirt with Your Spouse” by Doug Fields.

It’s never too late to fall in love with each other all over again. Come on. . . Get your flirt on!


Copyright © 2010 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and a nondenominational minister. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere.

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