Larry James' CelebrateLove.com BLOG

Friday, October 2, 2015

Adrift Into the Scary Unknown

Today, I would like for you to read the following three quotes and spend some time thinking about the standard you have set for your life. Find a time to sit down, and be selfish for a moment every now and then. Often people fail to look at their lives and situations for the soul purpose of trying to find solutions for personal situations. It is important to confront situations head-on and figure out how to improve on them.

Are you on the right track? Where do you stand in the scary unknown?

REL-ScaryUnknown“It is the promise of Love that if we let ourselves go into the unknown, work on ourselves and become the Love we are seeking, that IT will FIND US. Yup, that’s right. But we have to go through the dark night of our fears, dive deep into our insecurities, feel the pain of them and then bring the Light of our awareness to them.” ~ Mastin Kipp, The Daily Love

“Too often people attempt to live cautiously, taking no chances, avoiding all risks… in the safety of established patterns of living. They don’t feel fulfilled… yet they’ve found a niche, a formula… not for success, but mainly to avoid failure. To me, this is the living death. I mean, when security becomes the main goal. We, as humans only grow by taking advantage of opportunities. Life is a risk and we absolutely must reach beyond the safety and familiarity of our previous patterns of behavior in order to find true happiness and fulfillment.” ~ Mack Newton

perfectENDING“By the time the fear subsides, it will be too late. By the time you’re not afraid of what you were planning to start/say/do, someone else will have already done it, it will already be said or it will be irrelevant. The reason you’re afraid is that there’s leverage here, something that might happen. Which is exactly the signal you’re looking for. So fear isn’t just something to deal with and get past. It may mean the moment is nigh – you need to take action now, because it signals that a window of opportunity has opened in front of you.” ~ Susan Biali, M.D.

Fear is the most powerful single factor that deprives you of being able to achieve your full potential. Do your best in everything right now! Don’t ever let your insecurities or past failures or what others might tell you keep you stuck! Focus on what you want and how you can achieve it. If the things you dream for don’t scare you, they probably aren’t big enough.

If you want to give yourself the best gift you could ever receive, believe in yourself. Believe in yourself and never let others try to tell you otherwise or bring you down. You have to be willing to see things you didn’t expect, and figure out what you can tolerate and what you cannot.

Accept that failure is possible and necessary. As Winston Churchill once said, “Success is stumbling from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm.

Know the consequences of staying where you are. Have faith in your choices. There is never a good reason to slow down. Keep moving forward. Seize the moment!

CLoveLOGOCopyright © 2015 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

the-archives2Click for Archives! ~ commentSubscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
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Friday, May 15, 2015

Don’t Let Fear Shut You Down… Use it to Wake You Up!

Filed under: Fear,Intuition,Love,Relationships — Larry James @ 7:30 am

It is only and always fear talking when we hear a voice telling us not to get our hopes up because we will only be disappointed.

Relationships can drown in negative emotions. It kills more dreams than failure ever will.

REL-FearWakeUPFeelings of fear are created in our own mind. The moment fear appears; you give up your power. When fear presents itself, it’s time to pay attention. It’s time to wake up.

Feeling fearful is only an expression of a lack of love working in our relationship. Fear only surfaces when we call it up by temporarily letting go of Love.

Fear can be awesome if you can embrace it and not let it throw you for a loop or shut you down completely. It’s the fear of fear itself that we tend to dwell on and in doing so it corals our thinking and makes it difficult to break out. Fear immobilizes us. It freezes us in our tracks.

Fear is a powerful thing. And we make it up! Fear doesn’t come from out there. It comes from us… from within. Sometimes we would rather make up something that keeps fear in place than to boldly step forward, with the first step firmly smashing our fear.

Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be lived and learned. Walk the path that makes you feel alive. Everything you long for is on the other side of fear. Running from fear is a race you’ll never win. In fact, what you’re afraid of dealing with is what will set you free.

Write the following on an index card, or Post Its, put it in your reminders on your smartphone so you see it and say it “aloud” every time fear shows its ugly head: “I know that the only thing I lose when I let go of something I am afraid to live without is the fear itself. I am stronger than anything that frightens me!”

The self-illumination that occurs when connecting with our true inner-Self, liberates us or disconnects us from the fear that keeps us in the shadows; it flips the switch that turns on the lights! The promise of self-discovery is liberation. It always delivers on its promise.

Keep this in mind: forgiveness is the key to happiness. It dissolves fear. The absence of fear allows you to truly experience Love’s presence – for yourself and others. Fear cannot exist in the presence of Love. Putting the decision off to let go of fear only comes from fear.

There is only one way to step on your fear. Just step on it! You have to lift your foot and step on it! You have to do something… while you are still afraid.

The only thing certain about fear is that it will always compromise you. When it comes to who you really are, there is no compromise.

You’ll be safe if you follow your intuition. It’s always right. Listen to it. Trust your heart to know what it wants that which is best for you. The heart never lies. Fear is the liar! Desires of the heart are important because they indicate the urging from the spirit of God that is attempting to move you forward.

When your heart speaks, you know it’s not you speaking. You normally don’t talk like that. The heart speaks only possibilities. The mind often goes back and forth. That part of you – your heart – that speaks like you don’t, could be called many things. One possibility is: you could call it God.

When you do the thing you fear to do the most, the death of fear is certain.

Be fearless.

CLoveLOGOCopyright © 2015 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

commentSubscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com
Visit Larry’s Relationship Pin Board on Pintrest @ http://www.pinterest.com/larryjames2012/relationships-blog/

Friday, November 1, 2013

Anger Issues?

Filed under: Anger Issues,Fear — Larry James @ 7:30 am
Tags: ,

Only one thing activates, then converts the negative energy of anger into positive energy… intention. The intention must be to do something different; something that works. When you discover that what you have been doing isn’t working, the only logical thing to do is to do something different.

We are talking about change. Yes, it is uncomfortable to change. You must decide which is the most uncomfortable.

angerThe same energy you expend on anger, when re-directed, can help free you of the negative emotions you feel when you are angry. Freeing yourself of these negative emotions is something you do. It is never dependent upon whoever or whatever you think is the cause of your anger.

In reality, anger is a derivative of and an expression of fear. To transcend or master fear, we must turn our back on it; exercise courage.

Love cannot exist in the presence of fear. It is impossible for opposites to co-exist. They cannot occupy the same space at the same time. So… we drift. Back and forth. Love. Fear. Love. Fear.

We must learn to express love to ourselves and to others in the midst of upsets. Releasing anger in healthy ways proves we are capable of creative acts of wholeness.

Healing is always around the corner. It shows up when we have the courage to let go of the anger and fully embrace love.

CLoveLOGOCopyright © 2013 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

And You Thought That You Had it Bad…

I want you to know the wisdom of a 19 year old boy who survived Katrina. Do you remember the chaos in New Orleans? He and his family lost everything they owned in that storm.

words-of-wisdom2Bernell Taylor is his name. During his audition for American Idol, Ryan Seacrest asked him, “How do you come back from something like that?” he replied, “It happened. Ya just gotta live after that!”

Please go back and read Bernel Taylor’s response again… No. Forget it. Here it is again:

BernellTaylor

Bernell Taylor

“It happened. Ya just gotta live after that!”

What a terrific attitude!

My wife divorced me! ~ “Ya just gotta live after that!”

We just had to file bankruptcy! ~ “Ya just gotta live after that!”

I got fired today! ~ “Ya just gotta live after that!”

My girlfriend dumped me! ~ “Ya just gotta live after that!”

Did you see the numbers today! I lost my butt in the stock market! ~ “Ya just gotta live after that!”

___________________! (fill in the blank!) ~ “Ya just gotta live after that!”

writeyournextchapterI know. It never feels like it’s going to be easy. You know that, don’t you? You’d be right! But at least Bernell’s wisdom gives you hope. It may even cause you to think less of what happened and more about who you are becoming. A brief glimpse into the future… thinking about what might be instead of what has been. HOPE! Does that make better sense to you?

“Ya just gotta live after that!”

You may even discover that there really could be something “after that!”

What’s your banana? What is your “after that?” What is that one thing that you hold on to – that if you could have the courage to let go – would ignite a new spark in you! You finally got it. The fire grows stronger and suddenly “You’ve got the burn!”

When you read that last paragraph, didn’t you feel a little tingle that made you think of what might be? You got to be sick and tired of being sick and tired and you really don’t want to feel that way anymore.

Okay! So stop reading, turn your computer off and begin again. Begin first to count your blessings. You may get more benefit if you would get a note pad and begin to make a “GET ME OUT OF THIS HOLE!!!” bucket list. Come up with a few things that you can do that invites you to look past what got you here, and that will support you in what you’re gonna be up to.

You’re welcome to comment, especially if you’ve never before posted a comment. Tell us 3 benefits that may (or may not) have come from reading and/or being inspired by the article, “And You Thought That You Had it Bad…;” benefits that will assist you in moving on and getting on fire about life again. Very soon you will catch yourself saying, “Watch my SMOKE!!”

American_IdolThat’s all folks! Get busy!

By the way, Bernel Taylor’s audition made me and Mariah Carey cry. Keith Urban was freaking out over Bernell Taylor. It was incredible! One of the best I’ve seen. He sang, “I’m Here,” a song from “The Color Purple” at the Baton Rouge American Idol auditions week (1/25/13). Watch the Burnell Taylor “I’m Here” Video; the video that inspired this article.

CLoveLOGOCopyright © 2013 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Live Boldly – Be Fearless

Filed under: Fear,Letting Go,Personal Growth — Larry James @ 7:00 am
Tags: , ,

Whether you believe it or not, you own this moment. Be in the present. Focus on now. Make the best of it. Living boldly helps prepare you for what’s next.

froggyRather than cautiously testing the water, be fearless and dive straight into life with freeing abandon. Think of the person you want to be and the relationship you want to be in – use your imagination – then make a commitment to live your best life now. Believe in yourself. Be your own spark. Lighten up. Design some new “happy” habits. Be fearless and promise yourself to break a bad habit. Keep your promise.

It takes no strength to let go… only courage. Repeat after me – out loud, “Fear begone!” Feel better now?

“To me, Fearless is living in spite of those things that scare you to death.” ~ Taylor Swift

Spread some Love around. It’s the great miracle cure. Call someone you haven’t talk with for awhile and tell them you love them. Fall in Love with yourself – again. Why? Because you deserve it. Emerge from that fortress you’ve built around your heart. Let others in. Feeling down? Break the cycle. Exercise. Do something extraordinary for someone else. Put on a lively CD and create some new moves. Be spontaneous! Life rarely makes any more sense when things are done in order.

LiveBOLDLYSometimes success in life and in your relationships lies in bombing big-time first. We learn from our mistakes. They shape who you will become. Forgive yourself for past mistakes. Don’t be afraid to make more. We often learn more from giant flops than big wins. Do it with sass. Study life and love to help you do life and love better. Start a journal to keep track of your progress.

“The FEAR of being nothing, achieving nothing and becoming nothing should be way bigger than the fear of making mistakes.” ~ Daniela Saviuc

These incremental changes you make along the way will increase your self-confidence and help you boldly go where you have not been before. Repeat after me – out loud, “Change is good!” Stop thinking so much and start really living. Breathe. Relax. Let go of any worry or stress about the future. It’s on its way but the future hasn’t happened yet. Accept no excuses from yourself.

After a misstep, reflect on it, then move forward faster and wiser. Never second guess who you are and never be afraid to make a big splash.

BONUS Articles: 6 Steps Towards Living a Life Free of Fear and Full of Hope
7 Reasons Why Not Making Mistakes Is The Biggest Mistake

CLoveLOGOCopyright © 2012 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com

Sunday, May 6, 2012

How to Convert the Negative Energy of Anger into Positive Energy

Filed under: Anger Issues,Fear — Larry James @ 8:30 am

In reality, anger is a derivative of and an expression of fear. To transcend or master fear, we must turn our back on it; exercise courage. Love cannot exist in the presence of fear. It is impossible for opposites to co-exist. They cannot occupy the same space at the same time.

MatureCoupleSo. . . we drift. Back and forth. Love. Fear. Love. Fear.

We must learn to express love to ourselves and to others in the midst of upsets. Releasing anger in healthy ways proves we are capable of creative acts of wholeness.

Healing is always around the corner. It shows up when we have the courage to let go of the anger and fully embrace Love.

Only one thing activates, then converts the negative energy of anger into positive energy… intention. The intention must be to do something different; something that works. When you discover that what you have been doing isn’t working, the only logical thing to do is to do something different.

We are talking about change. Yes, it is uncomfortable to change. You must decide which is the most uncomfortable. The same energy you expend on anger, when re-directed, can help free you of the negative emotions you feel when you are angry. Freeing yourself of these negative emotions is something you do. It is never dependent upon whoever or whatever you think is the cause of your anger.

Disagreements are a signal that your love partner needs care and understanding. Develop a way of listening that allows you to hear the anger without becoming defensive. Because they are angry does not mean you are not loved. You can love and be angry at the same time.

loveCLoveLOGOCopyright © 2012 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com

Friday, October 2, 2009

LoveNote. . .

Filed under: Fear,LoveNote,Relationships,Respect,Trust — Larry James @ 10:00 am
Tags: , , ,

In healthy love relationships we neither lead nor follow. We walk hand in hand, side by side.

When it is appropriate, we can, without fear, let go for a while, always being nearby to love, to share and to support. Love is no tug-of-war.

We trust and respect our love partner giving them the freedom to be who they are, always with our love and best wishes.

Below is a “LoveCloud!”LoveCloud2

lovenotes

Copyright © 2009 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and a nondenominational minister. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com
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Friday, May 1, 2009

Thought for Today!

Filed under: Fear,Relationships,Thought for Today! — Larry James @ 12:01 pm

LoveNote. . . It is only and always fear talking when we hear a voice telling us not to get our hopes up because we will only be disappointed.

Relationships can drown in negative emotions.

Feelings of fear are created in our own mind. The moment fear appears; we give up our power. Feeling fearful is only an expression of a lack of love working in our relationship.

Fear only surfaces when we call it up by temporarily letting go of love.

Copyright © 2009 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Author Larry James presents seminars nationally for singles and couples. Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com

Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and a nondenominational minister. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

letsbefriends2

Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Authors and Speakers BLOG” at: http://AuthorsandSpeakersNetwork.wordpress.com

Monday, November 7, 2005

I Hate Snakes!

Filed under: Fear,Relationships — Larry James @ 12:14 pm

I was walking from my car to my home. My head was down. My eyes were watching where I was going. Suddenly, I felt fear. I almost stepped on a small snake. I hate snakes. Especially when I don’t know they are there.

My memory recognized a snake. I stopped. I looked closely. The two pieces of twisted straw looked very much like a small snake. At first glance, it really did look like a snake.

Then I realized that in order for me to think the two pieces of straw was a snake, I had to be able to remember what a snake looked like. The picture in my mind was so strong that my body almost went into panic.

snakeYou know. That feeling you get in your stomach when, while driving, someone cuts in front of you and in a milisecond your foot is on the break. You know the feeling, the feeling of fear. The fear I felt was very real. And there was no snake. Only two small, twisted pieces of straw.

Our memory trigger visions for our imagination. Then our imagination makes it real. So real, in fact, that our body doesn't know the difference between what is real and what is not. When it manufactures fear, our involuntary responses go into action. You feel a rush. You are not in control anymore. Whatever it is, you so south. . . you check out and it takes over.

Fear is a powerful thing. And we make it up! Fear is false evidence appearing real. Fear doesn't come from out there. It comes from us. . . from within. Often it is involuntary, as in the case of the twisted straws. Sometimes it is voluntary. Sometimes we would rather make up something that keeps fear in place than to boldly step forward, with the first step firmly smashing our fear.

Why do we do this? Often it is to avoid the responsibility of doing what we know must be done. Sometimes it is because we are so afraid, the fear immobilizes us. It freezes us in our tracks.

Think about it. Be honest with yourself. Look back and remember a time when your life was being controlled by fear and when you finally got the courage to do the thing that you feared, the thing wasn't like you imagined it at all. Guess what? It is seldom ever is as bad as we make it up to be.

When you do the thing you fear to do the most, the death of fear is certain.

CLoveLOGOCopyright © 2007 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and a nondenominational minister. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

letsbefriends2

Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com

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