Larry James' CelebrateLove.com BLOG

Monday, September 28, 2015

Gals! How to Survive the Dating Daze!

How to negotiate the minefield of the dating game!

Tactic 1: Be fit for dating 
~ We all get knock-backs – where a man’s not interested or doesn’t call again after the first date or two. Women with what I call ‘dating fitness’ have optimism and confidence so that ‘knock-backs’ aren’t the end of the world. They know there’ll be other date-opportunities around the corner; that his lack of interest didn’t necessarily reflect personally on them; and that men prefer women who don’t make too many dating ‘trade-offs’ – like dumping friends as soon as he rings – just to get a date!

REL-DatingDazeTactic 2: Be fantastic at first impressions
 ~ I’d be rich if I had the proverbial pound for every woman who told me, “I missed a chance when this great-looking guy came into my office and I didn’t have the guts to even look at him!” By planning ahead with all my advice, you won’t miss opportunities as they arise and will still appear spontaneous! Once you’ve got a date lined up, just as footballers visualize scoring goals, start visualizing your impending date as being fantastic. Run it like a film through your head – the evening goes from strength to strength, affirming to yourself all your positive points, and being calm and confident because you’ve got yourself sorted early.

Tactic 3: Be confident – avoid the ‘I’m unworthy’ complex!
 ~ Confidence is critical to your dating success and men notice the dirty dozen signs of when a woman feels “unworthy.” The tell-tale signs of unworthiness include: when a woman gushes about her past successes and how many men are asking her out right now; when without prompting she claims she’s not looking for “anything special;” when she’s overly flirtatious with too much touching; and when she asks to be compared to his exes all too soon. Being confident is incredibly attractive and my advice is to at least appear confident – even if you’re nervous inside!

Tactic 4: Be sexy – not easy 
~ Hugh Grant once spoke for 99% of men when he said he missed the “chase” – implying that women just put it on a plate for him. This is the real world – not some phony ideal world where men are tender-hearted romantics who never judge a woman who sleeps with them soon. If only! When presented with the opportunity most men will have sex but won’t pursue a romance with what they see as an easy woman. Sounds harsh but deep down they feel she’s decreased her “social” value. However you can still have fun flirting until you decide when you’re ready to have sex – or not.

Tactic 5: Be busy – avoid the princess syndrome ~ 
Men want you to have a life – not hang by the phone – as it takes the pressure off them to “look after” you and be the center of your universe. Tactic five is about how “princesses” are high-maintenance. Most men do not want high-maintenance, they want an equal. Give up your “princess” ways and keep living life while you’re getting to know him.

Tactic 6: Be knowing – not a know-it-all ~ 
Men don’t want dumb blondes but at the same time find it hard to handle how aggressive some women have become in proving themselves through conversation. You can be assertive at work, you can be assertive with the salesman you’re buying your new car from or the estate agent trying to sell you a house. But with him – have fun! Talk to him like you don’t have anything to prove. Conversation when getting to know each other should be like a friendly game of tennis, not as though you’re smashing “aces” at him!

Free-Online-Funny-Quotes-1Tactic 7: Be able – to sort the princes from frogs ~ 
Listen to your common sense and intuition,e.g., if he never rings when he says he will, flirts with anything in a skirt, ignores you when with the boys – then he’s a frog! Too many women hope their “frogs” will morph into a prince. It doesn’t happen that way. Be clear on frog – behaviors to look out for so you don’t waste your precious time.

Tactic 8: Be mysterious – don’t give the game away ~ 
What’s sexier – a slow strip tease or flinging your clothes off? The former raises anticipation and heightens excitement. The same goes for letting a man get to know your personality and your life. You don’t always have to tell him where you’re going, who you’ve been speaking to, what you’re planning for a free night, or how long it takes to do your make-up, hair and shave your legs. Leave a bit of a mystery and he’ll keep coming back for more.

Tactic 9: Be a bit of a bitch – in the nicest possible way ~ Most women are just too nice. They feel they can’t have an opinion. Can’t say what they’d like to do on a date. Can’t stave off male pressure to have sex or even dump a guy when after two dates they know he’s not the one. Tactic 9 is about setting your boundaries early and expressing them, especially when he doesn’t seem to be getting the message!

Tactic 10: Be aware of dating blind spots ~
 There are loads of “blind spots” we need to watch out for, money being one of them. Don’t get flustered over who should pay. Just be straight about what you feel comfortable with. Or when he doesn’t ring after taking your number. Be aware of my “rule-of-three” – the critical hurdles of three dates, three weeks and three months. Learn how to cope with dates from hell (we’ve all had them!) and avoid the trap of stereotyping men. Essentially, keep your eyes open so you are as successful as possible in dating.

BONUS Articles: 4 Online Dating Safety Tips For Women
You Date Who You Are!
Is He the One? 6 Questions to Ask Yourself
14 Signs He’s Into You!
10 Reasons People Are Afraid of Online Dating
The 3 BIGGEST Mistakes Newly Singles Make

CLoveLOGOCopyright © 2015 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

the-archives2Click for Archives! ~ commentSubscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
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Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com
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Saturday, September 12, 2015

Dating Tips for Seniors

Filed under: Dating,Relationships,Senior Dating — Larry James @ 8:30 am
Tags: , ,

The first rule: Be really sure you are really ready to date. If you’re not ready, you simply aren’t in a position to find a “healthy” relationship. To do so, you need to feel reasonably happy and confident of your worth. If you’re still angry or hurt from a past relationship, wait awhile. You need to feel and be positive, open and up for an adventure. If you’re having trouble getting to the right mental space, you might consider seeing a relationship coach.

A good way to find a dating partner is to look for a friend with shared interests rather than just trying to find someone to date. Meeting people at book clubs, church groups, political events, singles events, go dancing, hobby gatherings and community classes can be a way to find potential dates with similar interests. Online dating can be helpful too, though only 6% of people ages 53 to 65 have used it compared with 10% of 18 to 24 year olds.

REL-SeniorDatingIf you play a recreational sport, there may be someone at the park who you might find interesting. Nothing is more romantic than a picnic in a beautiful spot. Check out a farmers market or flea market in your area. Think about your hobbies and what you like to do.

A first date can be nerve-wracking at any age, and especially for single seniors who are out of practice. Look up an old friend. Remember the guy you dated in college for two years and lost touch with? Do you still think about the beautiful girl your traveled around Europe with for a month? If you remember someone fondly from your past, it could be worth looking them up online. Be open to experiencing each date and each person for what they have to offer, no expectations.

Most important… Be safe. Meet in public. When you find someone you are interested in – or someone finds you — exercise caution. At least initially, talk on your smart phone instead of your home phone, which can be linked to your address. For a first date, meet in a safe, very public place – a coffee shop is ideal.

“One of the huge challenges of seniors wanting to date again is getting the support of family, especially their children. Even though you are ready to date again, you may find that your children aren’t as ready. Take the necessary steps to ensure that your kids are prepared for the next phase of your life. You could talk to them about their own fears or apprehensions about dating again and assure them that you are confident that this is the right time to open up and let another person in once again. You must include your children in your decision-making. Let them know that their opinion is highly important but that they should respect your final decision on the matter.” ~ Top10BestDatingSites Staff (http://www.top10bestdatingsites.com/senior/advice)

Until you know the person better and are confident he/she is who he/she claims to be, don’t let a date drive you anywhere or even walk you to your car if it’s a secluded place. Though most people are honest and well-meaning, you shouldn’t take any risks at all.

It probably goes without saying that by age 50+, you have had a few love relationships in your life. There’s no need to give a new love interest the play-by-play. In other words, don’t mention your ex. The same goes for dwelling on your kids. Your children are never ever as fascinating to other people as they are to you.

It is normal to wonder if dating has changed dramatically (by the way… it has!), or if you’ll remember how to date. Dating in your 20s was a whole lot easier and more fun. The most important factor is that you should set your own rules. Don’t worry about how others date, but focus on what you feel comfortable with. If your rule has always been that you don’t kiss on the first date, then don’t worry about whether it’s “old school.” Age should, at the very least, earn you the right to set some comfortable boundaries.

What about senior intimacy (code words for senior sex)? The rule is that you make the rules that best suit you. Again, I stress, be safe. Things are quite different now with the worry of sexually-transmitted diseases. However, remember age is not a preventative for sexually-transmitted diseases and you are never too old for safe sex.

Okay! Time to get your “brave” up and get to it! No more long nights of couch sitting to binge watch movies or shows. Never let age be your cage!

BONUS Article: 10 Eye Opening Statistics About Older Dating That You’ll Find Fascinating
25 Words or Less: Connecting With Personal Ads
The Truth About Relationship Expectations

CLoveLOGOCopyright © 2015 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

the-archives2Click for Archives! ~ commentSubscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com
Visit Larry’s Relationship Pin Board on Pintrest @ http://www.pinterest.com/larryjames2012/relationships-blog/

Thursday, November 20, 2014

Together… Until the Love Runs Out

Just Married… “It all started out perfectly. We were so in Love, but somewhere along the way the Love ran out!”

When you fall in love with someone, the infatuation you both experience is exhilarating. You are elated. Everything is just dandy. You are doing the happy dance! You both are sure this will all help hold the relationship together.

Life is good. AND then…

TillLoveRunsOutWhat you take for granted… disappears! You stop dating. Bad mistake. Those sexy lover’s talks turn into lover’s quarrels, then arguments or disagreements become more prevalent. Children are born (Hmmm, didn’t expect so many changes) – more responsibility. Effective communication is on a downward spiral. Differences in their personalities and opinions begin to surface. Resentments begin to build. There’s not much sexual intimacy anymore, if any. The relationship feels empty. You move progressively farther apart. You both begin to lose interest and then someone says the “D” word!

“All married couples should learn the art of battle as they should learn the art of making love. Good battle is objective and honest, never vicious or cruel. Good battle is healthy and constructive, and brings to a marriage the principle of equal partnership.” – Ann Landers

He leaves his dirty underwear on the floor for her to pick up. She nags him to help her with the housework and he says, “Ill get to it later,” and never does. She begins to shut down. He knows she’s angry but when he asks her, “What’s the matter?” she gives him the silent treatment or walks away. Communication is by far the single biggest aspect that holds lovers together or tears them apart.

First of all, the Love doesn’t run out. It’s still there. We simply allow the fire for each other to go out. You must consistently fan the flames with Love and attention. Probably not on purpose, but when you stop working on the relationship and begin to take each other for granted, what would you expect? It takes work – the kind of work you do together – to keep the fire burning. It takes a lot of energy and commitment. Never lose sight of why you married your partner in the first place. Successful relationships do not work on autopilot.

Why do couples drift apart? Couples drift apart when they do not take time to talk and listen to each other. Ask him or her and the answer you usually get is that they’ve just drifted apart. It’s time to get rid of the drift word. Never allow yourselves to drift apart.

Holding on to what doesn’t work and being too darn stubborn to try to make it better serves no one and makes no sense. A stubborn person always thinks they are RIGHT. They are often into being right so deep that there seems to be no way out and sometimes that drift happens so slowly that they just don’t notice until it’s too late.

“Oh, no! I didn’t see that coming!” A comment like this usually comes from someone who was being complacent and was taking their partner for granted.

How does this happen? What makes people run away instead of holding on to each other, letting go of what doesn’t work and renewing their intention to allow the relationship to heal when tough times happen?

A twice-married woman summarized her attitude toward drifting in the following manner: “I think drifting describes so many people in this world, especially with so much external pressure and stimulation hitting us constantly. We deal with it all by not dealing with it at all. It certainly expresses what I do about so much that is difficult to face in my life.”

It’s time to reconnect! Here are only a few of the changes you should consider working on:

• focus on communicating better and more often
• become better listeners
• avoid blaming
• begin dating again – Make one night each week a date-night
• take responsibility for your actions and feelings
• spend more time together as a couple – Discover new activities you can enjoy together
• be more affectionate and considerate
• surprise each other with special things, not just on special days
• become partners in parenting
• respect each other’s differences
• find moments to connect with your partner many times every day
• support each other in extended family conflicts
• invent new ways to nurture your relationship
• journal your feelings in a private journal
• remember to say, “I love you” (out loud) to your partner at least once every day (more often is best!)
• place a priority on spending quality time together
• be proactive by creating a plan together
• overlook those small negative habits your partner has that get under your skin – Focus on what you Love about them
• seek professional coaching

Now begins the restoration of your marriage and the path to reconnection! Prevent yourselves from drifting apart by making your marriage a top priority. Growing together as a couple is an essential component in any happy marriage. Are you willing to change?

“We can do no great things; only small things with great love.” ~ Mother Teresa

BONUS Articles: 12 Real Reasons Why Couples Drift Apart Over Time
“How Do I Love Thee? Let Me Count the Ways…,”
Back to the Future
Reasons Why
The Do’s and Don’ts – When Your Partner Becomes Distant

broken-heartCLoveLOGOCopyright © 2014 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

commentSubscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com
Visit Larry’s Relationship Pin Board on Pintrest @ http://www.pinterest.com/larryjames2012/relationships-blog/

Thursday, January 16, 2014

This Man Is Dating Someone Although He’s Married. Sounds Disgusting, AND I’m On His Side.

Filed under: Date Night,Dating,Relationships — Larry James @ 7:30 am
Tags: , ,

Jarrid Wilson, Guest Author

“I have a confession to make. I’m dating someone even though I’m married.

She’s an incredible girl. She’s beautiful, smart, cunning, strong, and has an immensely strong faith in God. I love to take her out to dinner, movies, local shows, and always tell her how beautiful she is. I can’t remember the last time I was mad at her for longer than five minutes, and her smile always seems to brighten up my day no matter the circumstances.

Married&DatingSometimes she will visit me at work unannounced, make me an incredible lunch, or even surprise me with something she personally baked. I can’t believe how lucky I am to be dating someone even though I am married. I encourage you to try it and see what it can do for your life.

Oh! Did I mention the woman I am dating is my wife? What did you expect?

30Words

Click cover for info!

Just because you’re married, doesn’t mean your dating life should end.

I need to continue to date my wife even after I marry her. Pursuing my wife shouldn’t stop just because we both said, “I do.” Way too many times do I see relationships stop growing because people stop taking the initiative to pursue one another.

Dating is a time where you get to learn about someone in a special and unique way. Why would you want that to ever stop? It shouldn’t. Those butterflies you got on the first date shouldn’t stop just because the years have passed. Wake up each day and pursue your spouse as if you are still on your first few dates. You will see a drastic change for the better in your relationship.

When it comes to any relationship, communication and the action of constant pursuit is key. Nobody wants to be with someone who doesn’t want to pursue them whole-heartedly.

I encourage you to date your spouse, pursue them whole-heartedly, and understand that dating shouldn’t end just because you said, “I do.”

Copyright © 2014 – Jarrid Wilson. Jarrid Wilson is a husband, pastor and author whose motivation is to help others find their identity in Christ. Jarrid is currently studying biblical studies and theology through Liberty University, and he plans to continue his education by obtaining a Master of Divinity. Visit Jarrid’s Website!

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CLoveLOGOLarry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

commentSubscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
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Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

4 Online Dating Safety Tips For Women

Filed under: Dating,For Women Only,Guest Authors,Relationships — Larry James @ 7:30 am
Tags: , ,

Staff of BestFreeDatingSites.net, Guest Author

If you’re a woman who has decided to try out the internet in the hopes of finding a potential match, it can provide you a great platform for doing so. Unfortunately though, there are some dangers that come along with using this method of dating. With the anonymity allowed by the internet, you never know if that cute investment banker with the golden retriever you’ve been chatting up is really who he says he is… or if he’s actually unemployed, living in his mother’s basement, watching The Silence of the Lambs, and taking extensive notes.

WomenDatingTipsTo maintain the highest level of emotional and physical safety, be sure to check out the following tips on how to make online dating a safe and successful experience:

Tip #1: Keep personal info to yourself. This may sound like an obvious one, but it’s so important that it’s number one on the list and it shouldn’t be forgotten! When creating your username, profile, as well as through communications with online guys, never give out anything that could identify you from the next person. This includes your home address, where you work, phone number, personal email, last name and financial info. Not until you feel 100% certain that your online friend is trustworthy should you disclose these items.

Tip #2: Take it slow. You might think you’re really “clicking” with a guy over a few e-mails and you’re probably anxious to meet him right away…but your safest bet is to not rush into a meeting. Use the tools provided to you by your online dating service to communicate until you get to know him better. Most cyber dating relationships will develop over the internet for an average of about three weeks before an in-person meeting takes place. Use this time-frame as an example but if you feel that you need longer to get to know him, by all means take your time.

Tip #3: Plan a safe first date. When you get to a point where you feel comfortable communicating online with your match, you’re probably ready to meet the guy face-to-face. The first date can be a very thrilling experience, but it important that you not sacrifice your safety for fun. Follow these steps and you’ll greatly decrease the risk of finding yourself in a dangerous situation:

• Choose a crowded, public place, to meet. Never rely on your date for transportation—always meet them.

• Let a friend or family member know where you are going and the name of the guy taking you out. Be sure to keep your cell phone handy and call this friend or family member after the date to let them know you are safe.

• Consider going on a double date with another couple you know. Not only will you feel safer, but this also minimizes some of the nerves or awkwardness that comes along with a first date.

• Think about going “Dutch” and paying your own way—some men get the idea that you owe them something when they take care of your tab.

• Remain aware of your surroundings and hold on to your belongings—especially your drink. To be in complete control, forgo the alcohol for the first few meetings.

Tip #4: Watch for red flags. If at any point during your interaction with an online match you feel that something isn’t right, it is best to listen to your gut. Keep an eye out for inconsistencies in his stories or behavior that could be warning signs of a scammer, cheater or a sexual predator. If someone is making you uncomfortable online or out on a date, end things immediately and get to a safe place. Safety is your number one priority and anyone dating you should respect and understand your precautions.

BONUS Article: 25 Words or Less: Connecting With Personal Ads

Copyright © 2013 – BestFreeDatingSites.net

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CLoveLOGOLarry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

You Date Who You Are!

Filed under: Dating,For Singles Only,Relationships,Self-Image — Larry James @ 7:30 am
Tags: , , ,

Mastin Kipp, Guest Author

We date at the level of our self-esteem. Your relationship is a direct reflection of your own self-love and self-worth. A lot of TDL (TheDailyLove.com) Seekers have written in saying that they are in a relationship (dating, marriage, etc.) with someone who they really are into, but they are not getting their needs met. They keep asking me how they have to change to keep the relationship going.

beyourselfPause.

Let me be clear – the only way we should have to change is to be more authentically ourselves. This means compromise, of course, but this also means not abandoning ourselves to please another.

The common question seems to be: “How can I change myself so this will work?” and the response is “Don’t change yourself – BE YOURSELF!”

Many Seekers are terrified of being alone and of the unknown. And I understand, it can be hellishly uncomfortable in there. But if your needs aren’t being met in a relationship, it’s not the other persons fault. The responsibility is on you to communicate your needs and to choose someone who honors you, cherishes you and loves you.

If you don’t love, honor and cherish yourself, you will settle and your needs won’t get met.

To be a Seeker we must get comfortable with the unknown and with letting go of toxic relationships. We must step into the Faith that we can create the life we truly desire, not as we change to please others, but as we step more into our own authentic selves. This means communicating our needs, having higher standards around the people we are dating and stepping into our own self-love and self-care.

Of course in any relationship we have to compromise and find a middle ground. This is part of being in relationship. But this blog is aimed at the thousands of folks who have written in asking how they can change to please other people. Please yourself first and then you will attract someone who is pleased with you.

This means embracing the unknown and being okay with letting go of something or someone that isn’t meeting your needs.

Ask yourself this question: “If I REALLY loved myself, what would I do?”

dailylovemastin_picCopyright © 2013 – Mastin Kipp. Mastin Kipp is the founder of TheDailyLove.com – a website, daily e-mail and twitter account that serves soulful inspiration to a new generation. Started as a feed of quotes sent to Mastin’s friends, The Daily Love shot to fame after a tweet from Kim Kardashian. And a love monster was born. Hosting Mastin on her weekly show Super Soul Sunday, Oprah dubbed him an “up and coming thought leader of the next generation of spiritual thinkers.” Both an honor, and a mouthful. Mastin’s mission is to connect people back to what makes them happy. Happy people make better choices, and better choices make for a better planet.

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CLoveLOGOLarry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com

Sunday, April 7, 2013

Perhaps it’s Time to “Sitr Tihngs uP!”

If your relationship is kinda lying dormant… mix it up a little. Begin to do things differently. Don’t get bogged down with the same old boring routine.

“Sitr Tihngs uP!”

I kid you not, when you mix things up in a relationship, all kinds of fun stuff can begin to happen. Breaking things up a bit triggers something in your brain that adds back in that sense of newness and excitement you might be missing from the early days of your relationship. If your relationship is stagnant, stirring things up will add spice to a boring relationship. This is the big secret to spice up a boring relationship.

BEtogetherThere are all kinds of diversions that continually draw your attention elsewhere… children, a miserable job, the car needs new tires, etc. Everyday annoyances that build up over months, years, or even decades. We fret about the past and we worry about the future. We strain toward tomorrow and we struggle against yesterday.

Fuhgeddaboudit! Change your mind. Everyone has the unique ability to do that. Cut out all the crap that you know is a distraction. Focus your thoughts more on your partner and your relationship.

Try this: Out with the old activities, and in with the new! Doing the same old thing forever and ever can negatively affect the romance and intimacy of your relationship. It is time to take action! You need new ideas to help you stir things up a bit.

There is a line in my Wedding ceremony that says, “Never stop doing the things that brought you together in the first place. Often when I am talking with a couple about planning their wedding ceremony, one or the other of them will say, “We need to do that!” It’s easy to slip into an attitude of taking your partner for granted. You know you love each other but fail to say it aloud as much as when you first met. That is a mistake.

BedroomMovesIf passion has subsided… maybe you need a change of scenery. Be determined to beat boredom. Get creative – together. Move the furniture around in the living room. Don’t neglect the master bedroom. Make it a romantic love nest. Remove the television. Use your master bedroom for sleeping and making love… not necessarily in that order.

Challenge your own status quo. Plan some special time to be together – just the two of you. Tease each other with text messages. Leave the children in the care of a responsible adult and go on a date. The kind of date you had when you were first together. It will give the two of you something to anticipate and work toward, together. Having a goal in your sights will help take the edge off what can often feel like monotony in everyday life.

If you are like most couples, you both work, you’re tired and when you get home you want to grab something cold to drink, turn the TV on and crash. Stirring things up triggers the brain to think new thoughts and feel new ways. That is always a winning combination. Pull yourself out of the rut you’re in. Your “tiredness” can turn to excitement and suddenly inspire you to stop being a couch potato and be adventurous.

Go to a park, sit under a tree, spread a blanket, and just talk to each other – not about the kids, not about work, just communicate with each other. BE in the present moment. Breathe! If your partner is the most special person in your life, say so. Words do have power and if said genuinely, they convey your intentions, emotions and feelings in a very special way. Remember sweet talk? Talk like a lover. Don’t hold back. Be a committed listener.

True partners share the good and the bad about their lives and their relationship. It’s really great to have a safe place like your relationship where you can discuss your innermost secrets and desires. Often couples who have been together for a long time forget that being together is not just about loving each other, it’s about expressing that love in a way that demonstrates the love and respect you feel for each other.

I don’t believe that you can ever be together too long to begin again. Someone has to take the first step. Fear of what your partner will say if all of a sudden you begin expressing your love in ways that hasn’t happened for a long time will keep you both stuck! It’s time to super-charge your relationship. If your relationship is in the “drift” mode and you have become distant, reconciliation can be a big step in the right direction. Make some new promises. Recommit to each other. Be together and start over.

There is a scripture in the Bible that reads, “And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works” (Hebrews 10:24 ESV). Work together to inspire, challenge, and encourage each other to “Sitr Tihngs uP!”

CLoveLOGOCopyright © 2013 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
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Saturday, November 10, 2012

Is He the One? 6 Questions to Ask Yourself

Lindsay Kriger, Guest Author

Many times we love someone but we aren’t sure if they are the right one for us. Love can be super confusing! If we want to be in a loving relationship, we must start by being loving to ourselves.

“Some of the biggest challenges in relationships come from the fact that most people enter a relationship in order to get something. They’re trying to find someone who’s going to make them feel good. In reality, the only way a relationship will last is if you see your relationship as a place that you go to give, and not a place that you go to take.” ~ Anthony Robbins

Here are 6 questions to help you figure out whether you are spending time with someone who is a future soul mate or not.

1. Is he a happy person? – Some quick ways you can sense if he’s a happy person is to ask yourself these questions:

a. Does he love himself?

b. Does he love what he does for a living?

c. Is he still in love with an ex?

d. Does he love the direction his life is heading?

e. Does he drink too much alcohol to escape his feelings?

“When you struggle with your partner, you are struggling with yourself. Every fault you see in them touches a denied weakness in yourself.” ~ Deepak Chopra

Know this now: One of the secrets of a happy relationship is to be with someone who is HAPPY. If they’re not happy, then their lens on you will be negative – and/or they will be too codependent on you to create a healthyful relationship.

2. Does he want the same kind of relationship as you do? – If you both aren’t eager for marriage – then you’re a good match. But if one of you is eager and the other is not – then you’re not a good match – even if you are compatible on a day to day basis. You want to find a partner who shares your same vision of expectations for the relationship.

sniffff3. Would you want to hang out with this person? – Good looks fade – but a bad personality is forever. A good relationship needs both a strong mind and strong body connection.

4. Do you like the smell of his skin and the feel of his arms around you? – Love making is important to keeping a relationship fueled and moving forward – but another thing to look for is like the smell of their skin – the feel of their arms around you. I’ve found that a really strong soul connection is deeper than just an orgasm thing. It’s loving the feeling of being curled up in bed with your partner.

5. Do you have a good laughter life? – A good laughter life is as important as a good sex life. A good laughter life together will get you through the tough times.

6. Do you share the same character values? – A lot of what makes for conflict in a relationship is when people have different core values on key issues like money, fidelity, communication, truth telling, generosity, the roles men and women play, etc…

Copyright © 2012 – Lindsay Kriger. Lindsay is currently working on a book to help young women with relationship skills at a younger age, and she is writing about a wide range of topics- from dating, to self-esteem and boundaries and you can discover more about her by visiting to her personal website www.ifonlyiknew.tv. Check out Lindsey’s book!

CLoveLOGOLarry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
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Saturday, August 18, 2012

For Singles Only – Dating on a Budget

Filed under: Dating,InfoGraphic — Larry James @ 8:00 am
Tags: , , , , , ,

In summer, the world is a college student’s proverbial oyster. You can go anywhere, see anything, and meet anyone. It probably helps that summer is oyster season, too. BBQ’ed oysters, YUMMM.

Food cravings aside, we created a guide summer romances, along with some interesting stats on meeting that special someone who will make your heart flutter. Keep these tips in mind to keep a new romance afloat, or it may fizzle (unless that’s what you were going for – which is OK, too). Good luck in the love department!

Copyright © 2012 – http://blog.bookrenter.com.

CLoveLOGOLarry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

The Myth of Divorce: ReDating is a Better Option

Filed under: Dating,Divorce,Guest Authors,Relationships — Larry James @ 7:00 am
Tags: , , ,

Shela Dean, Guest Author

People who divorce often think they’ll be happier. Statistics say otherwise.

A 2002 study by the Institute for American Values showed that 66% of unhappily married adults who didn’t divorce were happily married five years later even when the marriage had serious problems. Only 20% had divorced and happily remarried in the same time period. You’re more likely to end up happily married to the spouse you have than if you trade your spouse for a newer model. Why?

redateHere’s why: Divorce allows you to drag all your old baggage into a new relationship and avoid dealing with your issues. It’s staying in your marriage and dealing with those issues that makes you healthier. The healthier you are, the more likely you are to have a happy marriage because the foundation for a great relationship with another is a great relationship with yourself.

There is no better context for self-improvement than marriage. Marriage provides unmatched motivation to be our best even when it means facing and overcoming our fiercest demons. Couples who go from unhappily married to happily married did so because they were willing to work on themselves first.

Every married person has a painful moment. It’s the moment when you realize the perfect 10 you thought you landed is really a flawed 6 or 7. When that first spark of attraction flashes, your brain goes into overdrive producing a cocktail of hormones that has the same effect on your brain as cocaine. Mother Nature gets you so doped up on love hormones you can’t see straight. It’s why new lovers idealize the relationship, maximize their lover’s virtues, and minimize or explain away their sweetheart’s faults. The effect of those hormones always wears off.

This coincides with something else that happens: once you’ve sealed the deal with a wedding ring, you sigh in relief and slow down (or stop altogether) doing those things you did while dating. Dating is to marriage what foreplay is to sex. It’s the seduction phase of the relationship during which you do everything in your power to seduce your beloved into wanting to spend the rest of his or her life with you.

Once courtship is successful, we relax into the relationship and think (at least subconsciously) that seduction is no longer necessary. Disappointments, hurts and misunderstandings (big and small) pile up, killing the generous and positive way in which, during dating, you saw each other.

datingheartMother Nature’s job is to get you together. It’s your job to stay together. We may be hardwired to couple but we’re not hardwired with relationship skills. Those have to be learned and that’s where ReDate Your Mate comes in.

ReDate Your Mate is a four-step strategy designed to help you:

• ReCreate the Dating You to become your best vision of You, someone who is not only personally fulfilled and experiencing self-love, but is also a hot date and a great catch.

• ReJuvenate Dating Behavior by doing again what made you fall in love in the first place and will keep you in love for the long haul.

reDate22

Click for more info!

• ReAwaken a Dating Mindset by nixing the negative and adopting a 24/7 positive and generous state of mind.

• ReVitalize Your Marriage Model into one that is based on your needs and wishes today because the reasons why you got married aren’t necessarily the reasons why you stay married.

Who among us hasn’t said, “If I only knew then what I know now, I’d do things differently?” You can’t roll back the clock. You can, however, start anew armed with what you know now. That’s what ReDating is all about—transforming your marriage by doing it better and wiser this time around.

Most who divorce look back and wish they’d tried harder. Don’t become part of that statistic. Instead, ReDate Your Mate.

Larry’s NOTE: When I read a book, I always mark the good parts with a yellow highlighter. My copy of “ReDate Your Mate” has been transformed into mostly yellow on the inside… it’s that good! Read Shela’s book and learn how to be your own hero in your relationship. Shela Dean has written another winner! Her first book, “Frequent Foreplay Miles, Your Ticket to Total Intimacy” was a dandy and this one will keep you glued to the pages until you finish it!

BONUS Articles: Date Your Mate
Remember FUN?

sheladean

Copyright © 2012 – Shela Dean. Shela Dean is a Relationship Happiness Coach and speaker. She has counseled more than 2,000 couples since 1983 and is the author of ReDate Your Mate: 4 Steps to Falling in Love All Over Again!and Frequent Foreplay Miles, Your Ticket to Total Intimacy – a guide to improving intimacy for couples. Since retiring from the practice of law, she has shared her relationship strategies with others through one-on-one relationship coaching, seminars, and now through her new book detailing a fun and effective strategy for improving emotional intimacy. Visit Shela’s Website!

CLoveLOGOLarry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and a nondenominational minister. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com

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