Larry James' CelebrateLove.com BLOG

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

10 Facts About Women That Seem to Escape Most Men

Filed under: Communication,Confusion,For Men Only,Guest Authors — Larry James @ 8:00 am
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Mary Edwards, Guest Author

Despite all the daytime talk show hoopla and the myriad books on the subject, this whole Venus vs. Mars philosophy about the differences between the sexes seems to have eluded most men. Unfortunately, they just don’t get it. Communication issues can almost always be attributed to this language barrier, and it usually boils down to a lack of comprehension on the part of the men. Here are ten facts about women that men just can’t seem to grasp:

confused man1. The emotional factor – Women are driven more by emotion than by logic. Therefore a man cannot win an argument merely by being technically right. In fact, it is a study in futility to attempt to use reason when discussing a subject that has an emotional nature.

2. Using white lies – A woman values sincerity and good communication above all else. It is not, however, the occasion for honesty when she asks, “Do these jeans make my butt look too big?” There is only one answer to this question. It isn’t “yes”.

3. The catcall – As incredible as this might seem, women don’t instantly fall for guys who yell and whistle at them from moving vehicles. Try as you might, your catcalls and hand waving will be to no avail. These are not acceptable examples of public displays of affection.

MarsVenusonaDate

Click cover for info!

4. The art of conversation – Women tend to enjoy extended conversations about deep topics, often using a multi-syllabic vocabulary. Grunts and hand gestures are for the most part not regarded as effective dialogue, despite men’s best efforts at making them so.

5. Bodily functions – Though there are some notable exceptions, for the vast majority of women fart noises aren’t generally considered to be the height of comedic genius. Go figure. Something to keep in mind when selecting a date movie.

6. Retail therapy – Women don’t just shop for things; they shop for therapy, for socializing, and for sales. Whereas a man might spend $10 for a $5 item that he really wants, a woman will buy a $10 item that she doesn’t even need if it’s on sale for five bucks.

7. Despite your best efforts, you will change – Men expect women to accept them as they are, and want them to never change. Women marry men with the intention of changing them, and expect men to accept that they will change too.

8. Silence isn’t golden – Those times of silence that men enjoy so much as periods of relaxation? Women regard them as breakdowns in communication, and wish that their men would talk out their issues more with them.

9. Intimate motivations – The old cliché is true: men use intimacy to gain sex with women, while women hope that sex will earn them intimacy with men. This dichotomy is never more apparent than in their polar opposite views about foreplay. Women expect a fair amount of it, while men believe that the aforementioned fart noises qualify for it.

10. The gay friend gets it – Men are often puzzled at how women can relate so well to, and enjoy the company of, their gay male friends. A woman’s gay friend gets all that love because, unlike other men she knows, he “gets” all of the above.

CLoveLOGOCopyright © 2012 – www.BestDatingSites.org/blog. Reprinted with permission.

Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Saturday, August 21, 2010

Snap Out of It!

Filed under: Coaching,Confusion,Relationships — Larry James @ 7:00 am

When your energy is all sapped out, you’ve been let down by something or someone and everything becomes too much for you, it’s time to throw a Pity Party. Initially, you are the only person invited to this party, as you feel so sorry for yourself, you don’t think of inviting anyone else.

Pity Party – A period in which you spend your time feeling sorry for yourself and whining endlessly about how crappy your life is. It about being down in the dumps!

Slump – A period of decline or deterioration, which a person performs slowly, inefficiently, or ineffectively.

Sound familiar?

“Of all the negative emotions I’m aware of…self-pity is one of the ugliest. No matter what you’re facing…refuse to pity yourself. It all adds up to you making alibies so you can look special in the eyes of others or seeking justification for irresponsible behavior. It’s very seductive…but, in the end… always makes you feel lousy.” ~ Mack Newton

Choosing to feel hurt; to dwell on the pain; to go to the extreme of inviting guests to your “pity party” is an unhealthy attitude. In other words, telling everyone you meet about your hurt only prolongs the agony. It will forever keep you stuck.

depressedgirlPity Parties require the proper outfit, which is usually pajamas cause you don’t get all dressed up during those feeling-sorry-for-myself moments. You’re laying around, depressed with nearly no ambition to change. Also you should have no make up on or just the one from the night before; hair undone as well. It also involves tissues, comfort food such as ice cream; chocolate (especially chocolate!); potato chips; cookies; cake; and candy. Low fat food is banned.

Music is also very important at pity parties, including songs like “One is the Loneliest Number”, “All by Myself”, “Cry Me a River,” and any other song that makes you feel like throwing yourself in front of a bus. A pity party just isn’t a party without a dark, morose atmosphere. Staring blankly at old game shows with a quart of ice cream melting in your lap… now that’s a quality pity party! A few barf bags on the buffet is always a good idea and a few boxes of tissues. A “POOR ME” banner should always be included.

Pity parties usually end after you are done whining or if someone breaks it up. This will usually be a cynical loved one who will not let you drown in self pity and will take you either to have the best time ever, drinking and partying or will just make you crawl out of bed by making you see how pathetic you look and how you should cut out the whining and just do something to make things better. Why not use this opportunity to drag your friends down, too? Nothing says friendship like gathering together to bemoan the troubles of your respective lives.

panicbuttonGot the point? It’s not a pretty picture! Please do NOT send invitations. No one likes to be around someone who is always complaining and wining about life. It’s not time to hit the panic button just yet!

You need to “snap out of it!” Get off your butt! You must work on uncovering the reason you are having a pity party. There is a cure for stagnation. Having a slump is not the end of the world, as long as it’s short, temporary and you know what to do about it.

According to Robert W. Bly, Here is his 3 point formula for getting out of a slump:

1. Do something.
2. Do more.
3. Keep doing it.

Focus – Many slips into a slump are the result of being overwhelmed with just too many things going on at the same time. Relationship depression does happen on occasion. Feel sorry for yourself, have a good cry, then start working on a way to get you out of the mess. Take solace in the fact, that yes, you will get out of the mess. Slumps are unavoidable, but no slump is permanent.

depressedman2It’s time to get busy living! Life is too short to bitch and moan about what isn’t happening to you. Focus on what you want. What you think about, and speak about, you bring about. You might not be in the mood for exercise. But just do it anyway! Taking a walk, going for a run, going to the gym, whatever it is you do for exercise – get out and do it now!

Dress up and take yourself out to an expensive lunch somewhere really nice. Get out of the house and do something different. Take some time out for yourself. Celebrate getting out!

Reconnect to your plan. Don’t have one? Get one! Take some time to design a blueprint for your life. When you have something to look forward to, it is a great motivator. Know what motivates you. By the way, never look to others for your motivation. Motivation comes from within.

Play some lively music. Some people play “march” music and strut around the house. You may feel silly at first, but force yourself to at least do something different than just sitting around.

When you are hurting. . . ask for help. Get support. Uncover the cause of your slump. Get help from a coach. Ask them to be honest with you, and when they are, do something with the advice they give you. Talk about it.

Got a significant other, best friend, family member, co-worker, coach, minister, you can talk to? Bend their ear – but only for a while. That’s what they’re their for. Too much moaning and groaning will drive your friends away. If you don’t reach out to your close friends, there are hotlines, or professionals, you can talk to. Getting things off your chest makes a big difference, and can be a huge lift. It can also help you work out the reasons you’re feeling down.

The hardest part of coming out of a slump is acknowledging you are in one. You cannot solve a problem that you cannot admit you have.

leap2Once the decision to move forward is clear, getting started will be your next hurdle. It requires your personal urgency and lots of energy. It will take a leap of faith. This may feel like you are living your life in the leap; not being sure of what will happen or where you will land. It will also take courage. At least now you know what doesn’t work. Perhaps this is good. Don’t do life that way anymore.

It is now time to STOP blaming someone else for the misery you are creating for yourself.

I cannot stress enough that the only person who can get you into a slump is YOU. No matter what happens, you always have choice. It is also true that the only person who can get you out of a slump is YOU! Pray for inspiration. The choice to change your attitude is a step in the right direction.

If it’s a relationship that’s got you in this shape, read, “Relationship Slump Busters!”

pityparty

Copyright © 2010 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and a nondenominational minister. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
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Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Confused?

Filed under: Confusion,Relationships — Larry James @ 12:01 am
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It takes a lot of energy to remain confused. If you feel stuck, perhaps it’s time to get clear about confusion.

As long as you remain confused, you will not have to commit to and/or take responsibility for a plan of action such as communicating with your partner or promising to make some positive changes.

Trapped energy causes you to cling to misconceptions about your relationship. This process will help you convert painful emotional energy into powerful energy you can use to move your relationship forward. Let go.

Once the precious energy that was trapped as a painful experience becomes free, it can then be expressed as forgiveness, goodness, beauty and love.

Copyright © 2009 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and a nondenominational minister. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com
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