Larry James' CelebrateLove.com BLOG

Monday, April 13, 2015

Stay With It!

Filed under: Coaching,Commitment,Relationships — Larry James @ 7:30 am
Tags: ,

In a relationship? Things getting a little rough? Things can get a little complex at times. Never give up! Stay with the program. Make your relationship a lifetime commitment. Don’t weasel out! Sticking with it, is easier than beginning again.

Never stop. We often get so wrapped up in our everyday experiences that we forget that our relationship comes first. It does, you know. Make it a habit to work together on your relationship. When you become discouraged, seek out someone in your support system, perhaps a friend whom you “know” will be your encourager.

StayWithItTo paraphrase Vincent Van Gogh, “When you hear a voice within you saying, ‘You’re not going to make it,’ than by all means continue making better choices and that voice will be silenced.”

Perhaps it’s time time to re-imagine your relationship. Begin to think of it as you want it to be. Let go of tour resentments and begin again.

• Never stop doing the things that brought you together in the first place.
• Kiss hello before doing anything else when you get home, then give each other some space for a little while to ease into being home and being together again. Kiss good-bye when you leave.
• More “I love you”s are better than fewer.
• Be more spontaneous in demonstrating your love.
• Never allow yourself to become bored with each other. That may take some effort if you’ve slowed down on giving it your best.

Stick with it and your partner will stick with you. Catch your partner doing something right and acknowledge them for it. Play together. Learn to have fun together again. You both must be willing to bring your best to the relationship… working together. Positive repetition builds your relationship reputation. Become known to your partner as someone who is consistent with their best efforts; someone with commitment, perseverance and dedication to serving the relationship. You must demonstrate your commitment.

You have to wake up every day and “choose” the relationship all over again. Choose what you truly want and need in order to achieve the loving, caring, committed, passionate, fulfilling relationship that you truly desire. Coming and being together is a beginning. Keeping together is a progress that takes time and steadfast commitment.

We all make mistakes. Never stumble over something that is behind you. Forgive and let it go!

“You are here to learn how to be truly happy, to become your best self. And it is attainable. But only you can make that happen.” ~ Maria Shriver

Stay present. Recommit to really “be” in the relationship. There is a way out of your unhappiness. It’s simple. You say you love your partner… now stand up for that Love! Don’t walk away with without giving it your best! That’s the cowards way out.

BONUS Articles: How About a Healthy, Controlled One-on-one?
Halfway to Each Other…
Does Your Relationship Need a Wake-up Call?
Who Ya Gonna Call? – The Love Doctor, of Course!

CLoveLOGOCopyright © 2015 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

commentSubscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

letsbefriends2

Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com
Visit Larry’s Relationship Pin Board on Pintrest @ http://www.pinterest.com/larryjames2012/relationships-blog/

Advertisements

Wednesday, November 12, 2014

Five Promises of Radical Commitment

Filed under: Commitment,Guest Authors — Larry James @ 7:30 am
Tags: , , ,

David & Darlene Steele, Guest Authors

Commitment is the glue that makes marriage work, and if you want a Radical Marriage, nothing less than Radical Commitment will do. Here are our Five Promises of Radical Commitment to raise the bar and bring your marriage to the next level:

RadicalCommitment1. I Promise to Love You Every Day ~ I know that love is a choice and I choose to love you always. Though I can get busy and have my moods, you deserve my love and attention each and every day. I choose to love you even when I’m upset or frustrated. I know that loving you means being fully present, telling you my truth, being honest and transparent with my thoughts, feelings, wants, and needs so you know fully who I am. I strive to appreciate and treasure you each day that I’m blessed to have you in my life.

2. I Promise to Choose You First ~ You are the most important person in my life and I commit to not taking you or our relationship for granted, each and every day. Though work, home, finances, family, friends, hobbies, and other stresses and distractions can make this challenging, I choose you first, always.

RadicalMarriage

For more info, click the book cover!

3. I Promise to Take Responsibility ~ I understand that my outcomes are 100% dependent upon my own choices and actions, and that my thoughts and feelings are my own. I know that our relationship is a mirror reflecting myself back to me, and that my desire to be happy and feel loved by you depends upon my own ability to allow myself to be happy and to receive your love.

4. I Promise to Say “Yes!” ~ You deserve my positive response even when I don’t feel like it. Your needs and wants are a gift to my growth and well-being and the key to a great life together. I am committed to your happiness as much as my own. If I’m unable to grant 100% of your desire or request I will respond positively and work with you to find a creative way to meet your underlying need. You can feel safe with me as one who loves you and will respect and honor your needs, always.

5. I Promise to Be Your Hero ~ When life is challenging (and even when it’s not) you deserve a champion; someone who will be there for you, love and support you unconditionally, no matter what. I commit to being your hero and helping you feel emotionally and physically safe and secure. I believe in you and I believe in us.

Are You Ready for a Radical Marriage?

Does Radical Commitment seem challenging? It is! Radical Commitment is a choice to be there for your partner 100% without holding anything back. These five promises are a stretch. They require effort. They are not easy or automatic. Radical Marriage is about making intentional choices that maximize your fulfillment as a couple and allowing you to live beyond happily ever after.

Larry’s Review: This book, “Radical Marriage” will move you from an ordinary marriage – if you let it – to an incredible relationship that has you living to keep your commitments with one another. Now, that’s radical. Each of you will learn to take total responsibility for your marriage… and experience a radical satisfaction of your partnership that has always been within your grasp, but may have eluded you until you discover and embrace this new way of being with each other. Highly recommended. ~ Larry James. author of “How to Really Love the One You’re With

DavidSteeleCopyright © 2014 David & Darlene Steele. Reprinted with permission. From the book, “Radical Marriage: Your Relationship as Your Greatest Adventure.” David Steele, MA, LMFT, CLC, is founder of Relationship Coaching Institute, the first and largest international relationship coach training organization. David is a pioneer in the field of relationship coaching for singles and couples, author of numerous books, including the ground-breaking book for singles Conscious Dating: Finding the Love of your Life and the Life That You Love.

Darlene Steele, R.N. is Director of Training and Member Support for Relationship Coaching Institute. Darlene draws upon more than 30 years of marital experience and a practical approach to marriage and relationships to bring a unique perspective that complements David’s for a powerful personal and professional team exploring and sharing insights and strategies for creating a Radical Marriage. Together, Darlene and David are examples of ordinary, down to earth people living an extraordinary life through their relationship, passionate about each other and sharing the mission and message of Radical Marriage with other couples who want to “live beyond happily ever after.”

ljspacer

CLoveLOGOLarry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

letsbefriends2

Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com

Monday, July 7, 2014

Rewind to the Good Times!

Happily ever after is complicated. Happy weddings are a dime a dozen, however, happy marriages are much more rare and therefore more precious than gold.

It’s important to think to the future, say, 50 years down the road and wonder if the person you have chosen – with things sagging and the wrinkles more predominant, etc., etc., – is this someone you will still be excited to be with and love? Or will you say to yourself, “What the hell was I thinking?”

RewindtoGoodTimesI have performed hundreds of wedding ceremonies and often I wonder what things will be like for them. It’s exciting to plan for your wedding together, but how many couples really know what they are getting into?

You stand hand-in-hand at your wedding with the excitement of the moment, smiling radiantly, facing your guests as you walk out into the world together and into a completely different commitment; one that has you promise to work together, come what may and no matter what. And suddenly the world has somehow shifted. All at once everything looks different and it is. You both get that marriage is not a back up plan to diminish your loneliness.

Marriage is something most people go into completely unaware of what they are in for. Hmmm. Kinda like life. Some couples – who experience the deep love that is necessary for marriage to thrive – make it. Some give up when they’ve been together for a while because they lose the excitement that was present on their wedding day.

You are not suppose to stop working on your relationship once you get married! They think that it will last. AND it can… and it takes lots of work, and it’s different. And I’m not sure most couples grasp how much things will change. (Especially after the kids show up.) Is “together forever” in the cards? Or is your marriage founded on the fantasy of forever together and based on an illusion of how you think it should be?

I heard a bride whose ceremony I performed several years ago say, “If you can survive the stresses of a wedding, you can survive anything… marriage should be a snap!” Then she laughed and admitted to me that there have been many ups and downs. She told me that one thing she learned from her mother was when issues surfaced it is important to never let too much time go by before you talk about how to make it all better. I agree. Never let issues marinate in your anger and disappointment. That is a recipe for disaster.

Marriage isn’t always a snap. It depends on the couple. Have they equally considered the benefits? Have they seriously considered the consequences of marriage. Their actions and decisions in their marriage are like that. They all have consequences.

It’s easy to make a wedding happy. You just throw a ton of money and liquor at it. A happy marriage is more difficult to make happy because if you throw a lot of money and liquor at it, it often makes things much worse.

I’m thinking that couples don’t often talk about the things that matter in a marriage. When you don’t talk, you can lose that awesome connection you had when you were first together.

So… when your togetherness doesn’t feel like the excitement you experienced on your wedding day, what can you do?

There is a line in my wedding ceremony that says, “Never stop doing the things that brought you together in the first place!” Can you remember how to have fun together?

Part of the solution is to rewind to the good times. Stop and think about the things you did that attracted you to each other. Remember that “feeling?” You can experience that feeling again and regain the closeness that connected you emotionally. And you both need to accept responsibility for what happens next.

How often do you tell each other how much you really care? Do you go to sleep at the same time? Research shows that 94% of couples that snuggle in bed say they are happier together. Do you work together to get things done around the house? Nowhere is it written that housework is the woman’s job! Do you kiss often or is that something you think only newlyweds do? How often do you say, “I love you,” (out loud) to each other. Do you still light candles, put on some romantic music and have a quiet evening together? That can often bring back those loving feelings.

Do you still have weekly dates and have FUN together? Do you share your feelings with one another? Do you listen – really listen – to your partner? Do you show appreciation and give your partner praise? Do you treat your spouse with respect and kindness” Do you often hear, “Not tonight, I’m too tired,” or “I have a headache?” Resolve: No more fake headaches. I seriously doubt that you used that lame excuse when you were first together. Maybe you need a little late night “wake me up,” if you know what I mean. These behaviors have natural consequences.

“Just as weeding and watering is essential to a healthy garden, taking time to communicate and listen to your partner is critical if you want your relationship to thrive.” ~ Sara Eckel

Being married has advantages. For well over a century, researchers have known that married people are generally better off than their unmarried counterparts. As early as 1897, sociologist Emile Durkheim was theorizing about why married adults have lower suicide rates than unmarried adults. In a recent survey David Ribar notes that links between marriage and better health in children and adults “have been documented in hundreds of quantitative studies covering different time periods and different countries.”

AND to have a happy and successful marriage takes work! Lots of working together. Lots of work! Are you both on the same page? Are you putting forth the effort to make your partnership really work? How would your life together be different if you did?

That might be a great topic for conversation sometime soon!

BONUS Articles: The Secret to Staying in Love

CLoveLOGOCopyright © 2014 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

commentSubscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

letsbefriends2

Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com

Monday, April 14, 2014

Stick With It!

Filed under: Commitment,Relationships — Larry James @ 6:30 am
Tags: , ,

Work your own relationship program – the one that gives you hope for the future. Make it a lifetime commitment. Stick to it and never ever stop. My father used to call this stick-to-itiveness!

StickWithItWe often get so wrapped up in our everyday experiences that we forget that our relationship comes first. It does, you know. Make it a habit to work together on your relationship. Relationships are something that must be worked on all the time, not only when they are broken and need to be fixed.

When you become discouraged, seek out someone in your support system, perhaps a friend whom you know will be your encourager – not just listen and tell you what you want to hear.

To paraphrase Vincent Van Gogh, “When you hear a voice within you saying, ‘You’re not going to make it,’ than by all means continue making better choices and that voice will be silenced.”

Agree as partners to keep your relationship in a constant state of repair by continually working on it. This is a good way to prevent future issues from occurring. Sustain your relationship by periodic visits to those best in a position to help you. Got a relationship problem you cannot solve? Relationship coaching is a wise choice.

Learn more about having healthy and successful relationships by visiting quality relationship sites on the Internet. Develop a need to read. Join a book club and purchase relationship books. Subscribe to relationship eZINEs. Attend relationship seminars. Get relationship coaching. You can never know too much about relationships.

Believe that the difficulties in relationships are challenges that can be understood, and once understood and worked on “together,” they eventually go away. Trust in the goodness of your partner. What you think about and speak about, you bring about.

You’ve heard that Love never fails! It’s true. Love doesn’t fail but more often than not, we are the ones who fail love. Some begin to slow down in the romance department; they stop working on the relationship. Never take your partner for granted. What you take for granted disappears. When you make a commitment to love your partner… keep it!

Stick with it and your partner will stick with you. Positive repetition builds your relationship reputation. Become known to your partner as someone who is consistent with their best efforts; someone with commitment, perseverance and dedication to serving the relationship.

CLoveLOGOCopyright © 2014 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

commentSubscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

letsbefriends2

Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com

Wednesday, April 2, 2014

Good Intentions Are Not Enough!

Filed under: Commitment,Intention — Larry James @ 7:30 am
Tags: , ,

Isn’t it interesting? We have good intentions, yet, somehow we often never seem to get around to doing everything we know must be done to stimulate healthy love relationships.

intention“Green lights and straight ahead” sounds like a great idea, however, without declaring good intentions nothing ever changes… it may change but you have no power over it. There is great power with intention when coupled with an act that one consciously wills. Good intentions without affirmative action get you nowhere. Your intentions are states of being and must be your authentic desires.

“Setting intention, at least according to Buddhist teachings, is quite different than goal making. It is not oriented toward a future outcome. Instead, it is a path or practice that is focused on how you are “being” in the present moment. Your attention is on the ever-present “now” in the constantly changing flow of life. You set your intentions based on understanding what matters most to you and make a commitment to align your worldly actions with your inner values.” ~ Phillip Moffitt

Power_of_Intention

Click cover for info!

Our intentions are good and we take left turns. We intend to be on the right path and we get distracted or we don’t have time. Or, “If he or she would only change!” Or, anything to keep from taking responsibility for the direction we really want to go in the relationship.

When you set an intention and then act on it to demonstrate your commitment, amazing things occur in your relationship. Intention is choice with commitment. That’s the only way it works. Your attention must consistently be on your relationship intention. Every single thing humanity has created began first as an intention. Inherent in every intention and desire for a great relationship is the mechanics for its fulfillment. Stay on the path. Avoid all distractions. Focus.

It is stupid not to do something different, when what you are doing isn’t working!

Begin with intentions! That will get you to the source of what you truly want from your relationship. Your intentions will assist you in taking greater control of your life and your relationships. It is also important to hold yourself accountable for doing whatever must be done to fulfill your intentions.

“You can hire a coach, join a mastermind group or create a success/accountability partnership with a friend. Having someone or a group of people you make commitments to and whom you empower to hold you accountable will make all the difference in the world.” ~ Mike Robbins

Relationships are worth nearly any price it takes to have them be great. Not in the sense of doing anything to have a relationship, but in the sense of each of you always doing the best you can, all the time, to have the relationship be good and healthy. It doesn’t get any better than that!

CLoveLOGOCopyright © 2014 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

commentSubscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

letsbefriends2

Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com

Sunday, September 22, 2013

Baseball Players = Team

Filed under: Commitment,Communication,Relationships — Larry James @ 8:30 am
Tags: ,

Do baseball players play for the money? No. I don’t think so. They Love the sport and the money comes from doing what they love to do.

Not only do they love the sport, as a team they love each other. That was obvious to me when I listened to a player talk about his teammate, Paul Goldschmidt of the Arizona Diamondbacks after he hit a recent walk-off home run to win the game. They have great relationships with everyone on the team as well as coaches, managers, etc.

silentsignalsI appreciate baseball players because their specific intention is to always get better. Those are the kind of people we should all hang around with. They know that they cannot win every game but that never stops them. They have each other to assist them out of a slump. They know they are getting better if they win more this year than they did last year. Life is too short to stagnate with our crazy (and I mean, crazy) friends.

Team communication is consistently named as a key skill for success. Baseball players have many kinds of ways to communicate most of which are only signals from the catcher, base coaches, team manager, etc.

“Anyone who watches a sport’s franchise realizes that it takes time to build a dynasty. Work begins slowly with the fundamentals and builds one strength upon another. With team effort marriage can yield high levels of comfort, support and satisfaction.” ~ Mark Hirschmann, PhD

I say all that to say this: When you love someone, you are part of their support system. You send signals many of which are silent. You stop communicating. You become angry – sometimes over the silliest things. When you and your partner come together in your relationship a team is exactly what you are. If we would look at our relationships in the same way… WoW! Do you think that might make it all better? You bet! Relationship is the highest level of collaboration. So… what’s stopping you from making a few changes, behavioral and otherwise.

PlayTogether“Most people have either been on a team or watched a movie about a team and understand what is needed to make a team successful. The “one for all and all for one”, mentality that works in helping a team become successful, helps in making a relationship successful.” ~ Cathy Goulet

Skills: Keep learning new ways to relate. Keep growing together by doing whatever it takes to make your relationship one that you are proud to be in.

Strategy: Read good relationship books. Read relationship articles online. Put to use what you read.

Comradery: Comradery is the spirit of friendship and team, like the comradery of baseball players who keep each other upbeat despite the difficulty of their circumstances. Comradery is a feeling of trust, a bond created by a shared goal or experience. That’s what someone who is on a team (in a relationship) does!

Implementation: Never be afraid to step into the unknown and do something different. Be the initiator. Trust is the solid foundation of a healthy love relationship. Encourage togetherness. Work together toward your mutually beneficial goals.

“He that won’t be counseled can’t be helped.” – Benjamin Franklin

If you need assistance, don’t be afraid to ask for it. Daring to commit to relationship coaching is better than trying to hold on to a relationship that is falling apart.

Problems that seem insurmountable appear smaller when you are working together with the one you love. Always remember, marriage is a team effort. Just beginning to think of your relationship as a team supports a whole new type of relationship health and growth. It’s a good couples team that works closely and very well “together.” Open and honest communication makes for the best relationships because it lead to trust and faith in one another, however, it’s important to remember that at the end of the day it’s not what you say or what you do, but how you cause your partner to feel that matters the most.

A relationship is a team sport! Be a team… together!

CLoveLOGOCopyright © 2013 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

letsbefriends2

Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com

Saturday, May 25, 2013

The Couples Commitment Code

Filed under: Commitment,Relationships — Larry James @ 8:30 am
Tags: ,

Couples Commitment Code… Is a promise to stay together, come what may and if one decides to leave, the other partner goes with them – partners for good.

A couple’s level of commitment to this “Couples Commitment Code” is an idea of the mind that bears witness to the thought that when it comes to your relationship, there is no possibility that the love energy you feel together could ever feel the same alone. This idea greatly influences the tone of the relationship.

commitment&ringCouples commitment demonstrates respect for one another.

Couples commitment negates the possibility of separation.

Couples commitment impacts the capacity for a deeper level of love for each other. There is an awareness of unique relationship dynamics that are more intense than expected. You are deeply aware that the circumstances of your commitment are yours for the asking.

Couples commitment has you honor Team as an action that you both take equal responsibility for.

Couples commitment eliminates risk.

Couples commitment offers a freedom to be who you really are when you are together or apart. Your vision of your future together is a shared vision. That means that you actually talk to each other about your togetherness.

commitment2Couples commitment •says• conflict may arise and when it does, it’s important to remember that the commitment you have made together gives you the tools you need to move past it – working together.

Couples commitment allows your partner to see through you to the real you. Transparency strengthens couples’ commitment.

Couples commitment says The quality of their relationship is quantified by their belief that being together in a committed relationship really means together. That belief is essential for the successful frution of the relationship.

Couples commitment is the inertia of your romantic partnership.

Couples commitment gives you insight for keeping romance and spontaneity active. It breeds within each of you a resistant to ambivalence.

Couples commitment’s powerful affect impacts the relationships of your family and friends.

It gives “common sense” a new meaning.

There is no back door. None!

“Commitment is not a very “sexy” word or concept but it probably has more to do with making marriages work than anything save common values. Commitment is a choice to give up choices. Although this might at first sound limiting, it actually brings great freedom and depth. No longer does the committed person need to weigh which person or way of life will bring more happiness. Once committed, all one’s energy goes into making this commitment work. No longer are other possibilities a distraction.” ~ ForYourMarriage.org

Larry’s NOTE: I do not know who wrote The Couples Commitment Code or I would give them credit. If you know, please let me know.

CLoveLOGOLarry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

letsbefriends2

Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com

Thursday, August 2, 2012

Mission Possible!

Filed under: Commitment,Communication,Relationships,Romance — Larry James @ 7:30 am
Tags: ,

To have a really terrific relationship you don’t have to do everything right. Human nature pretty much says that you won’t always get it right. However, you DO have to stay focused on doing whatever it takes, all of the time. Do what your conscience tells you is right.

Shower each other with Love. If that sounds like a full-time job… it is!

MissionPossibleWhile I realize that this is an awesome “take responsibility for your relationship” assignment, if you really love each other this mission is possible and you must both do the work that is required – together! Your mission… if you choose to accept it, will cause your relationship to sparkle like the bling of a 5 carat diamond. Routine does not belong in a healthy relationship. It’s up to both of you to weave a little “magic” into your relationship. Adding more intimacy, love, understanding and compassion in any relationship is always welcome.

Romance is part of the “magic” and it’s about making your partner feel special. You can do that only by paying close attention to the relationship. In the beginning romance was in the air, however, as a relationship matures, you have to go out of your way to make sure that the romance you remember continues. Romance is a very small part of what makes a long-term relationship successful, it’s getting the other 98 percent right that makes a couple have longevity. Part of getting it right takes moments of reflection, self-control, compromise, and forgiveness.

It IS possible. How? You have to decide. Decide what? Decide to have a state of the art relationship – one you can have bragging rights about – and in order to do that you must consistently be doing more things right than wrong.

You are in a relationship. So, relate! Relating between partners means communicating. Communicate openly and honestly to establish a common ground and to understand different points of view and to create a mutual, collaborative agreement or plan. You cannot expect your partner to agree with you on every issue, however once you reach an agreement keep your word.

“Keep your promises and tell the truth. If you say you’re going to do something, DO IT! If you say you’re going to be somewhere, BE THERE! If you say you feel something, MEAN IT! If you can’t, won’t, and don’t, then DON’T LIE. It’s always better to tell people the truth up front. Don’t play games with people’s heads and hearts. Don’t tell half-truths and expect people to trust you when the full truth comes out; half-truths are no better than lies. Say what you mean and mean what you say.” ~ Marc & Angel

Romantic kissWhen was the last time you did something to make your partner smile? Having fun together is the best aphrodisiac. It improves and strengthens your bond. Write up a list of what makes you feel loved and special and exchange it with your partner.

Relationships are always complicated and they should be ever evolving. Disagreements are bound to occur. Your job is to never let things get out of hand. Don’t allow fear to keep you from talking things over as calmly as possible and agree or learn to compromise on a solution to the problem, then kiss, make-up and continue moving forward. The challenge is to learn new skills that make communication safe and effective for both of you.

The single greatest thing you can do to increase the value of your relationship is to start being grateful for what you have right now. Next, be sure to allow your partner to experience the gratefulness you have for them and the relationship.

Is your partner not quite on the same track as you? Often you’ll find that your partner quickly and enthusiastically reciprocates, and the entire dynamic of your relationship changes if you stay true to your commitment to have a healthy relationship. Commitment is the glue that keeps a relationship together and yet most people haven’t a clue what the word “Commitment” really means.

Commitment means to have consideration for your partner in all matters. Consider how any action you might take affects your partner and the relationship. You must consider the impact of your choices and treat your relationship and your partner with kindness, fairness, respect, and loads of Love.

Finally, never offer solutions to your partner when they are really looking for someone to just be a committed listener. (That’s for you, guys!). When conversing with your partner, learn to not only listen, but listen actively.

Don’t be a procrastinator. If you are both a little off track, it’s okay to begin again – TODAY!

CLoveLOGOCopyright © 2012 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

letsbefriends2

Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com

Saturday, April 28, 2012

Commitment Phobia

Filed under: Commitment — Larry James @ 7:30 am
Tags:

Yangki Christine Akiteng, Guest Author

Having personally suffered from severe commitment phobia for many years, I know that being in love with someone who is afraid of commitment is not fun at all, but does someone’s fear of commitment always have to be the end of a relationship?

In real life, some people are not really meant to be together, and sometimes when you’ve tried everything humanly possible – and I mean really tried everything including asking for divine intervention – and failed, it’s smart to know when to walk away.

commitmentWalking away does not necessarily mean you will be able to stop loving that person because if you really love someone from your heart and soul you will never stop loving that person. Love is so much bigger than all of us because it’s the very fabric by which we are made of. And when you love someone what you are basically doing is getting in touch with what you are made of. Trying to stop love is like trying to get out of your own skin — good luck with that!

Walking away or “getting over” that person means that you stop expecting him or her to give you what he or she in unable to, is unwilling to, or just doesn’t want to. And sometimes that something is commitment.

But I think a lot of people walk away too soon. This is the sad reality of the “modern” world we live in. We think that relationships come in little neat packages with instructions “Add A Little Sex And Live Happily Ever After.” Many people don’t realize that relationships need time and work. And with all the advice about “too many fish in the sea,” walking away seems the coolest thing to do. It shows that you “don’t care” and from where this kind of advice comes from, that is supposed to be a good thing. But many years later – just like the people who gave you the advice – you are still trying to “catch fish” in that sea. What does it say about you if you can’t catch even one fish in a sea with too many fish?

commitmentMany more aren’t willing to work as hard to make a relationship work as they work hard in their professions or careers. These same people start pushing premature commitment because of their own internal pressures and are quick to conclude it isn’t working and walk away.

And then there are some people who try to work things out but go about it the wrong way — nagging, begging, blaming, guilt tripping, giving ultimatums, playing break-up on and off again games etc. This very same things you do to try to get a “commitment” are the very things that make a commitment phobe even more weary of committing or run like an escaped death-row convict.

So true, being in love with someone who is afraid of commitment is hard, but commitment phobia is not a “terminal illness”.

Men and women do get over their fear of commitment. I did. And you probably have heard or know of many men and women who were written off as commitment phobes by the people they were in a relationship with and two months later they have committed to someone else. And the person who dumped the commitment phobe is left confused, angry, jealous, bitter and feeling terribly inadequate – like something is so wrong with her/him that someone who could never commit to them, had no problems committing to the next person.

commitment2“This is what commitment is… it’s not a life-sentence to fearfulness, anguish, bitterness or what if’s by the score… it’s just two people who make it their goal because they love one another and not let anything get in the way of that!” ~ Cheryl Ries

Sometimes what a commitment phobe needs is:

arrow• someone who doesn’t automatically assume that it’s all a selfish act but understands and appreciates where the fear and anxieties are coming from (fear of losing one’s independence, fear of marriage, fear of intimacy, fear of having kids, fear of financial burdens, fear of sharing a home, fear of offending family members, fear of moving to another state or country etc). Understanding and appreciation can help the two of you come to a compromise you can both live with.

• someone who is emotionally well enough and emotionally secure enough to give some real tough-love; Many commitment phobes have been through so many relationships and know exactly how the script plays out. Having a game-changer who will not play by the script can sometimes be the “shock therapy” a commitment phobe really needs.

• someone who is committed to really helping the commitment phobe get to that place where he or she feels “safe” enough to come out of their hiding place. Commitment phobia, like all fear, is really a wall to hide behind. And seeing that there is really nothing to fear is a great relief to a commitment phobe.

So before you walk away, make sure that you’ve earned your way out – that is given it everything you got and more. That way you don’t look back with regret because you dumped someone you still love and a few months later he or she commits to someone else.

BONUS ARticle: Are You A Commitment-Phobe?

Yangki-Christine-Akiteng

Copyright © 2012 – Yangki Christine Akiteng. Yangki Christine Akiteng is an internationally renowned Sexual Confidence/Dating Coach and author offering men and women practical tools and advice on how to make themselves attractive by using natural instinct, common sense and self-knowledge! Visit Christine’s Websites: http://www.theartofseducingoutoffullness.com and http://www.playinghardtogettheloveway.com

Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and a nondenominational minister. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

letsbefriends2

Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Don’t Quit!

Filed under: Breaking Up,Commitment,Letting Go,Relationships — Larry James @ 9:00 am

Have you lost hope that your relationship will survive?

Hope is the bi-product of perseverance! That is why when you really love your partner, you should never give up!

Success depends upon your staying power. It requires perseverance, self-denial, hard work sacrifice, dedication and respect for your partner.

DontQuit“More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope.” ~ Romans 5:3-4

Any relationship that lasts will have conflict and trouble. It’s how you handle it that makes a difference. It is incredibly important that you have an attitude of perseverance in your relationships. Perhaps it’s time to pour new energy into your relationship, showing your partner just how much they mean to you. Never give up on your relationship!

“Adversity, and perseverance and all these things can shape you. They can give you a value and a self-esteem that is priceless.” ~ Scott Hamilton

A marriage is supposed to be a lifetime commitment; it is a pledge to do whatever it takes and whatever is necessary to keep your relationship together. Everyone has issues come and go in relationships. You need to know that there is nothing that cannot be forgiven. I repeat… nothing! It’s important to be committed to not to have issues in your marriage cause you to give up.

“Courage and perseverance have a magical talisman, before which difficulties disappear and obstacles vanish into air.” ~ John Quincy Adams

If relationships were easy, than everybody would have one and no one would get hurt. That’s not the way the world works. If you want yours to last, you have to be willing to put in extra effort and get relationship coaching when the issues are beyond your expertise. There is no shame is requesting assistance.

letgoThere are many things you can do that will help you save your marriage and make it stronger. You both have to be willing to make the effort to sit down and calmly talk about your relationship issues or with the aid of a relationship coach.

“Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no help at all.” ~ Dale Carnegie

In my experience, many of the issues couples face is that they hold on to being “right.” Letting go of being right is not the same as giving in. It’s the holding on to your position without sincerely listening to the issue from your partner’s point of view that keeps you both stuck. Understanding this means you can move forward and experience a more genuine love relationship.

“Consider the postage stamp; its usefulness consists in the ability to stick to one thing until it gets there.” ~ Josh Billings

Take a stand for your relationship! Do everything to recreate a relationship that works for both partners. Work to restore your relationship by studying useful tips to satisfy the needs of you and your partner. You must speak life and commitment into our relationship. In the midst of troubling issues, reminding yourself and your partner of your commitment is a great help in helping to make a relationship work. Speak to each other in loving ways. Read good books, attend relationship seminars together. Work together. Never quit.

“There is no failure except in no longer trying.” ~ Elbert Hubbard

BONUS Article: Perk Up Your Day!

Hearts&coupleCLoveLOGOCopyright © 2011 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

letsbefriends2

Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com

Next Page »

Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.

%d bloggers like this: