Larry James' CelebrateLove.com BLOG

Tuesday, September 9, 2014

Everyday You Get to Start Over…

Filed under: Choice,Relationships — Larry James @ 7:30 am
Tags: , , , ,

unless you don’t.

The problem is you never know how much time you have left to begin again. If you are given the gift of another day, you get to choose.

StartOverYou can wallow in the issues you think are unsurmountable, continue to have your own little pity party (it’s kind of lonesome there by yourself, right?) and stumble around in this “Woe is me” attitude or you can pull the nail out of your foot – you know, the one that has your foot nailed to the floor – stuck (not going anywhere) and begin again.

Feeling absolutely paralyzed? Going down hill at full speed? Life has less zing to it? The issue is not whether we are stuck. The issue is how we pull ourselves out of this mess and get our lives going in a better direction again.

Life is short! Happiness is a choice. Staying stuck is also a choice. Redirect your focus. The harder you run from what you don’t want, the closer you come to it. You are either moving closer to a life that holds unlimited possibilities or further away from it. There is no fun in living life in the middle.

“When you fail to hit the target, it is never the target’s fault!” ~ Larry Winget

Different is a good thing. Yesterday is history. Challenge your negative thoughts and patterns. Stop believing what you think about your current situation. Give up blaming others. Carve your own path. Write yourself a better story. You need something bigger than the issue you are in to look forward to. Break out of your routine. This will help you free up your life to a multitude of surprises and joys.

Your heart always tells the truth. Listen to it and discover. What awaits you is how your life is going to open up next. It’s pretty scary and also pretty exciting. The idea of suffering and slowly dying in a life you hate has got to be worse than the pain of busting your ass to fix it. You always have the final word on what’s next. Be grateful you know this.

So… what are you going to do different today that might be a giant step forward?

Choose!

BONUS Articles: You Don’t Get Happy By Accident!
Turn On Your Happy Switch!

CLoveLOGOCopyright © 2014 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

the-archives2Click for Archives! ~ commentSubscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
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Thursday, April 10, 2014

“You Make Me So Mad!!”

Filed under: Anger Issues,Choice — Larry James @ 6:30 am
Tags: , , , ,

We often cannot see that we have choice to be angry or not. No matter what happens we always have choice. The hurt we experience sometimes keeps us at a distance from responsible choices. We can move through the pain of a changing relationship much more rapidly when we remember that we are never without choice.

It’s okay to feel angry. It is also important to remember that no one can “make” you angry. That is only and always a choice.

angerISaChoiceThe psychological importance of working through painful resentments must not be underestimated. When old patterns are broken, a whole new world of possibility is born. Not to release and rise above suppressed feelings of hurt and anger is to remain imprisoned by them.

It is not okay to be consumed with anger. Anger is not something to be contained; it is something to be released. Express it with this caveat: consider the consequences of its power. Anger is something that can hurt if expressed with the intention to get even. Often we inflict our feelings of anger on the ones we love the most. Not a good idea. Everyone feels angry occasionally and everyone in the relationship feels its effect.

Whenever you become angry you are given the choice to challenge the anger or to surrender to it. Anger loses its power and you are empowered each time you challenge it. You have the power to transform the energy of anger to a constructive experience of release; a letting go of an emotion that can stifle your potential for personal and spiritual growth.

Anger hurts most whoever is angry. Choosing to be angry is choosing to suffer. Suffering is always optional. Only express your anger to get it out, not to win. In a healthy love relationship, expressions of anger are always followed by expressions of love.

Being angry is not living in the present. Anger only represents something from our past; something that already happened. The wise thing to do is to be present to our anger; acknowledge it. Don’t wallow in it. Create a new intention; to move through it. We must never allow anger to use us. Allowing anger to use us, robs us of the power we need to move forward. Instead, we must use its mighty energy to move us to the other side. There we will find only love.

When you have disagreements that allow anger to present itself, watch for the appropriate opportunity to share what is really in your heart. Little, if any progress can be made during meltdown. Allow a time for cooling off. This is a time when you must work together to create a space for each love partner to express their feelings without any fear that it isn’t safe to do so. Listen. Communicate. Give up your attachment to being right and settle for a win/win solution that serves both love partners equally.

BONUS Articles: How to Get Unstuck From Any Problem
Angry is a Habit
“I Need a Hug!”
Simmer Down

CLoveLOGOCopyright © 2014 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

commentSubscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com

Sunday, April 6, 2014

You Don’t Get Happy By Accident!

Filed under: Choice,Happiness,Relationships — Larry James @ 8:30 am
Tags: , ,

Are you tired of waiting around for happiness to find you? …and waiting and waiting and waiting.

Happiness can’t find you and you cannot find happiness. Happiness is not something to be found… it exists whenever you decide you want it to. Notice I said, “You decide!”

MirrorMirrorHappiness is a concisious decision that pushes it to express itself.

Your thoughts become words, words become acts, acts become habits, habits express your character and your character becomes your destiny. Imagine if your thoughts were positive – you would feel happy most of the time. I’m sure you’ve heard that happiness is a choice many times. Why do you suppose that is? Because it’s the truth.

No one can make you happy either. They may do things that cause you to make the choice to be happy, however, it’s always your choice.

It appears that what determines happiness is due to personality and – more importantly – thoughts and behaviors that can be changed. You can learn how to be happy – or at least happier. People who are happy seem to intuitively know that their happiness is the sum of their life choices. Living in the present helps. Look for opportunities to savor the small pleasures of everyday life. Focus on the positives in the present moment, instead of dwelling on the past or worrying about the future.

Hold on to happiness. Visualize yourself being happy. Imagine it. See it in your mind’s eye. Hold the image of happiness on the canvas of your imagination. Happiness is a decision. Like Aristotle said, “Happiness depends on ourselves.”

Look for something to be happy about. Set a happy scene. Wake up with a smile. Every morning, wake up, look into the mirror and hold a big smile on your face, even if you aren’t feeling particularly cheerful. Believe it or not, just moving your muscles into a smile will increase endorphins and decrease the stress hormone cortisol that the adrenal gland releases in times of stress. Take a “selfie” of yourself making a silly face and pin it up where you will see it when you are not feeling happy. I sometimes will look into the mirror and make faces at myself. Just being silly when you are alone can also help. Sometimes I will laugh out loud. That always gives my smile a quick start.

“We have a lot of control over our moods,” says William Fleeson, associate professor of psychology at Wake Forest University, who has shown in studies that subjects can actually change the expression of basic personality traits on demand and lift their spirits in a matter of minutes. “We’re not slaves to our genes, and we don’t have to wait for someone else to do something good to make us feel better.”

Happiness is only and always a personal choice. Choose happiness!

BONUS Article: 10 Simple Things You Can Do Today That Will Make You Happier, Backed By Science

CLoveLOGOCopyright © 2014 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

commentSubscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

You Are Far More Powerful Than the Jerks in Your Life!

Filed under: Choice,Guest Authors,Toxic Friends — Larry James @ 7:30 am
Tags: , ,

Mastin Kipp, Guest Author

Not too long ago, I got an e-mail from someone talking about a toxic relationship they were in. She was asking me what I would do if I were in the same situation.

And then… she said this about her partner: “He is making me so negative.”

ToxicNow, if you’ve been reading “The Daily Love” for any amount of time – tell me what about this statement is keeping this woman trapped.

Is it him? Is it the circumstance? Is he REALLY making her so negative?

The answer is NO. The only person keeping her down is herself. No one can make her feel ANYTHING without her consent.

So we did some e-mail work and within three e-mail we got her to see that she was the one keeping herself stuck in this negative relationship. We outsource the blame to others many times because we are afraid of change and because it’s SO much easier to blame someone else than to take responsibility for the circumstance and then risk facing the unknown.

But being able to face the unknown is what The Uni-verse is calling you to do on a soul level. Love is what you were born to have, but you will never have it if you don’t love yourself enough to take responsibility for the circumstances in your life and understand that you are continuing to choose your way into them. Even if you are in a situation that was totally outside of your control at first, your choice to stay in that circumstance, in that mindset and in that pattern is up to you.

The choice to change is yours in every moment.

Many times, we are so busy blaming other people that we don’t see that we hold ourselves hostage within this blame. We have been given the incredible power of choice: to choose our life and to co-create it with the Loving Uni-verse that has our back. We have forgotten in those dark moments that everything happens FOR us instead of TO us. We have forgotten that the only things holding us back in life are not our circumstances, but our beliefs about our circumstances. And when we change our beliefs and take constant and persistent action toward them – we change our lives for GOOD!

If you are stuck in blaming other people, make a list of all the things you blame them for. Then turn it around and see that it is you who is keeping yourself hostage with this blame. The idea is not to blame yourself now – no, no, no! The idea is to take your power back by taking responsibility for the circumstance and then asking what you actually want. From there, you can create a new belief system and pattern of action that brings about what you really want.

So, how can you take your power back today? Who have you been blaming and when would NOW be a good time to change?

dailylovemastin_picCopyright © 2013 – Mastin Kipp. Mastin Kipp is the founder of TheDailyLove.com – a website, daily e-mail and twitter account that serves soulful inspiration to a new generation. Started as a feed of quotes sent to Mastin’s friends, The Daily Love shot to fame after a tweet from Kim Kardashian. And a love monster was born. Hosting Mastin on her weekly show Super Soul Sunday, Oprah dubbed him an “up and coming thought leader of the next generation of spiritual thinkers.” Both an honor, and a mouthful. Mastin’s mission is to connect people back to what makes them happy. Happy people make better choices, and better choices make for a better planet.

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CLoveLOGOLarry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com

Friday, November 29, 2013

Turn On Your Happy Switch!

Filed under: Choice,Happiness,Relationships — Larry James @ 7:30 am
Tags: , ,

November and December are months that typically bring to mind family and friends. It is often a difficult time for people who have lost a loved one through death, divorce or separation. The following suggestions will help you to focus on giving the gift of happiness, not sadness, first to yourself and to your friends during the final days of this year.

Researchers have determined that the human brain is much better at taking in negative experiences than positive or “happy” ones. But then, I think you already knew that.

happyswitchAre you tired of waiting around for happiness to find you? I’ve got good news! You can rewire your brains to better absorb the good. You can begin by taking greater notice of the happy moments that happen to you all the time. When something happens that causes happiness, take 5 to 10 seconds to allow that positive moment to really sink in. Reflect upon how it makes you feel better. Never allow the unhappy moments to hijack your attention. Stay focused on happy thoughts. All you need to do is to consciously turn on your happy switch! We all have one. We often call it by another name… “Choice!”

Henry David Thoreau once said, “Happiness is like a butterfly: the more you chase it, the more it will elude you, but if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit softly on your shoulder.”

With all due respect to Henry, that just isn’t so. You can choose to be happy. You can chase down that elusive butterfly and get it to sit on your shoulder. How? In part, by simply making the effort to monitor the workings of your mind.

If you have been looking for happiness, the good news is that your choices, thoughts and actions can influence your level of happiness. It’s may not be as easy as flipping a happy switch, but you can turn up your happiness level.

The first step, is to make a conscious choice to boost your happiness. Choose to be in environments and around people that increase your probability of happiness. Surround yourself with happy people. That really helps!

walkAwayAt one point in my life, I couldn’t believe how important is was to distance myself from people who dragged me down. I stopped calling them and hanging around them and what happened was – to me – a miracle! I began to notice that I didn’t miss their complaints, criticisms, blaming, whining, clinging, nagging, anger, etc.

What a difference! It was hard at first because I actually thought that some of these people were my friends. Little by little my whole attitude changed. When one of my friends complained that we never saw each other anymore, I actually told him that I was getting better. When he asked better from what, I told him that I was only interested in being around happy people. I never saw him again. Good riddance. (Whew! That wasn’t as hard as I though it was going to be)! Truth is… I really don’t miss him.

If you’re not an optimistic person by nature, it may take time for you to change your pessimistic thinking. You can do it. How? Because happiness is always and only a personal choice. Hard to believe? Believe it. It’s true.

Try this on your way to happiness. Dump your negative thoughts into the trash. This is what happens when we treat our thoughts as material objects. If you have pervasive negative or unhappy thoughts, write them down on a piece of paper, and physically throw them away, or burn them! Sound crazy? It is, and it works. This strategy can be employed as a quick way to clear your head of negativity which causes unhappiness. Learn to control your thoughts or they will control your life and steal your happiness.

Being in a state of happiness contributes to the overall quality of your life, relationships, your life’s work and much more. It gives you a sense of control, feeling loved, secure, and good at what we do. So… Turn on YOUR happy switch and watch what happens!

CLoveLOGOCopyright © 2013 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Re-imagine, Re-design and Re-launch Your Relationship!

Filed under: Change,Choice,Communication,Compliments,Relationships — Larry James @ 7:30 am
Tags: ,

After years of being together sometimes you drift away from the feelings you once had when you were first together. Usually one partner notices it before the other. By the time the other partner realizes what’s happening, the partner who noticed is ready to leave the relationship and there is shock and they are left wondering what happened. Often it is too late.

Change3In my years of relationship coaching I have found that if one partner wants to re-imagine, re-design and re-launch their relationship they can have a profound influence upon the other partner. First realize that your spouse may not be as frustrated and unhappy as you are and while it works much better when both partners are working on the relationship together you may need to make a commitment to yourself to be working on only changing you. Discover the things you might need to change in yourself before your partner will change. What you can do is take your eyes off your partner and put them on yourself. You have total control to change yourself, and no control to change your partner.

First comes conversation. Communicating how you feel about the relationship to your partner often get’s their attention. Open and honest communication can sometimes create an opening for love to be rediscovered. If you’ve not expressed your feelings previously, share how you feel with your partner. When you are willing to change some behavior, tell your spouse about your plan to change and enlist their support. If they don’t take you seriously, begin working on yourself. You don’t need their permission to make changes in you own life. If he or she discloses a desire to change, don’t be so quick to roll your eyes… instead be ready to help and not hinder the process.

Change2While sharing your love for your spouse, express your concerns and fears about the future of your marriage. If you are having doubts about your love, make a list of what you love about your partner. Sometimes it helps to remember what brought you together in the beginning. Never postpone having a conversation with your partner to identify the behaviors and face the issues that are creating the unhappiness in your relationship. As you learn to express your needs your partner will have a better understanding of who you are. To communicate your feelings may be difficult, but you must communicate. Increase communication and see what happens.

“People will Change only when they feel accepted for who they are. In other words, you need to communicate that you accept your partner just the way they are, flaws and all. At the same time you also ask them to change. The key is how you do that. The best way is to share your needs, wishes and desires with your partner and really let them in on why these are so important to you, and then leave them alone to think about it. Do not make demands. Ultimatums do not work, they only create resentment. You leave it alone and treat your partner like a friend. I am sure that there are a lot of irritants that kind of bug you about some of your good friends, but you let it be, for the sake of the friendship.” ~ Darren Wilk, MA, Certified Gottman Couples Therapist

ChangeBehaviorThere is a line in my romantic wedding ceremony that say, “Relationships are something that must be worked on all the time, not only when they are broken and need to be fixed. Never stop doing the things that brought you together in the first place.” That’s a big mistake. Another line reminds the couple, “When times call for you to be apart, may you always return to your togetherness in the same spirit of love that you are feeling in this moment.” In other words, you must focus on the good that has come from being together, not the distress that comes from drifting apart.

Someone once said, “What you think about and speak about, you bring about.” I believe this is true. If you’re playing the blame game; always blaming your partner for the way they have made you feel, you will get more of that. First thing to remember is that no one can get your goat if they don’t know where it’s tied up. They or the circumstance that you are in cannot make you feel bad. You have the choice to feel the way you do at any moment in time. So… wise up. Choose differently.

Begin to discover ways to renew and turn up the love that you had when you were first together. Focus on what you want your relationship to be. Let your imagination run wild. Re-fresh your thinking. Re-duce your complains and catch your partner doing something right… than thank them for being that way.

The frustration of your spouse’s lack of follow through on good intentions, or saying one thing and then doing another, or breaking promises can slowly erode both the emotional and physical intimacy in your marriage.

“How soon should you begin in your effort to address each other’s complaints? My answer: As soon as the complaint is first made. Why wait for a complaint to turn into a demand, or a disrespectful judgment or an angry outburst? Why not deal with the issue immediately, as soon as it is spoken.” ~ Willard F. Harley, Jr., Ph.D.

The change in a relationship must first occur in your thinking. In a new Northwestern University study, professors Hui, Bond, and Molden studied romantic couples and found that the more you think your partner is “incapable” of changing, the more your partner’s sincere efforts fail to improve the relationship. Conversely, the more you believe your partner is capable of change and trying to improve, the more secure and happy you will feel in your relationship.

“Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.” ~ Rumi

ChangePersonal change and growth can become issues in marriage because man and women develop at different rates. Couples change at different times in life and with different key motivators. We hope our spouses will change for the better: become more patient and kind; stop unhealthy habits; spend more time with the family; work less – or more; go to church more – or less, talk more – or less. We are all works in progress. in order for happiness to grow in a relationship, both partners have to be willing to grow and change and act in ways that make their partner happier.

What if your self-change strategy doesn’t light a fire under your partner? Acceptance comes next. When partners show each other love and acceptance they respond more quickly to each other’s changes. Accept that you can’t change your partner. You can only change yourself and your own behavior and reactions. Changing your own behavior may sometimes encourage your partner to want to make changes.

I once had a coaching client that accepted my challenge to avoid all criticism for 30 days. She began to “compliment” him instead. Her concern was that she might not be able to find something to compliment him about. When she began paying more attention to him she found that was not the case. Her husband noticed and began to change without her asking him to change.

Consider individual relationship coaching to prevent feeling depressed or helpless, to understand your role in the conflict in your marriage, and to clarify your plans for your future. Even if you believe your marriage is over, try one more time. Never leave without telling your partner you don’t think the two of you can save your marriage without professional help.

You once told each other that you loved each other. Perhaps it’s time to prove to them just how much you really do love them.

CLoveLOGOCopyright © 2013 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Guard Your Heart…

Cheryl Ries, Guest Author

Some things are really not hard to see, it is just our own stubborn refusal to truly notice all the warning signs and the obvious hazards posted there as we swing open yet another wrong door.

When we listen – when we pay attention – when we heed our own inner voice of precaution and when we observe the intentions of others through behavior and action instead of just focusing on the words which can prove empty, we then are able to see without our blinders what is really meant for our protection and our best.

Guard your heart for it is the wellspring of life. That, in essence, means that whatever choices you make and whatever direction you are now headed must offer first a way to preserve and protect the soul and spirit which lives within you.

IndianProverbIt is wonderful to imbibe in life with a free and fun spirit, sampling and tasting in great variety what is presented, but your ability to choose determines your own ability to reside peacefully and without damage to the inner essence of your own life.

“If your heart has been broken the best way to fix it is to allow time for healing, then open it up again and allow only Love, happiness and joy in. Open your ears to only what the heart needs to hear. In a full heart filled with Love there is room for everything!” ~ Larry James

Choose wisely. Learn to learn from each and every endeavor which doesn’t suit you or in fact has hurt you in part, for in that lesson availed you will find great wisdom and purposeful motivation to change the course you are now on!

Go forth with the most important goal of self-love, which then ensures self-protection and self-preservation! Learn to accept each step as a means to an end through learning to do and to be better and wiser as you go!

cherylriesCopyright © 2012 – Cheryl Ries. Cheryl Ries is a friend who is in the process of writing her first book. This is a preview of things to come. She likes to take a bite out of life’s big juicy apple… and believes that richness is measured in friendships, family, love and what you give away. Visit Cheryl’s Facebook page.

CLoveLOGOLarry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

letsbefriends2

Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
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Friday, July 13, 2012

BE Happy and Feel Good (about yourself)!

Filed under: Choice,Personal Growth — Larry James @ 7:00 am
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How do you BE happy? I believe that it helps to make happiness a top priority in your life. A decision to pursue happiness keeps you focused. It’s a mindful choice – a choice you make on purpose. You DO have the power to choose. Don’t let it’s potential go unrealized.

BEhappyIt’s easy to be happy when everything seems to be going your way, but in that moment when things begin to go in the opposite direction most of us tend to drift the way the event leads us. In that moment, is happiness really still a choice? Of course it is. Our greatest power is choice. It’s not always easy but changing your mind about how you feel really is a possibility.

Happiness is seldom ever an accident. While there may be unexpected things that happen that cause you to choose happiness, always remember that no one can make you unhappy unless you let them. You always have the choice to be happy.

Some people have become so bogged down with the unhappiness of their choosing that they rarely can see how their life can change. I realize that if you’re broke and living on the street that choosing happiness can be a challenge – to say the least. They often blame others for their unhappiness. That will never bring on the happiness they wish they had.

BEhappyWhat it you could Love yourself enough to create a life you will love living? I have good news and bad news. The good news is that you can, provided you believe you can and make a serious decision to pursue happiness. The bad news is that rarely few people can reach the true happiness they desire if they have a low self-image and have not learned to truly love themselves.

Love is the answer. Love for yourself is a better answer. It’s easy to love yourself if you love what you do.

Roger Fransecky, Founder/CEO, The Apogee Group, suggests you ask yourself, “What brings vitality to my life? When do I feel most alive? What is my proudest achievement? What is my greatest gift? My legacy? For what are you most grateful? These questions invite you to ponder the symphony of your experience, the missed notes, the flourishes and the coda. I don’t deny that life can be rough, that you can (and will) experience mistakes, excesses, lies and lessons, and on occasional loss, grief and sadness.”

Mistakes, at least, indicate that you are making an effort!

Click here for info!

Breaking out of a miserable funk to get to happiness is seldom easy however, believe me, it is possible. We get so deep in the funk that we forget how to be happy. Regardless of how bad something may seem, it’s always possible to embrace it with a positive outlook. The first step is to count your blessings. What do you have to be thankful for? Make a list. At least making a list will get your mind off your troubles and headed in the right directions.

Stuff happens, however you made the conscious choice to focus on the bad parts – you made the choice to be miserable. Wanna be happy? Time to make some new choices. How fast you bounce back makes all the difference in the world.

“We create our own reality and existence. If we say we’re miserable and focus on the bad then, we’re miserable. Conversely, if we focus on the good in our life and proclaim joy then, we become that too.” ~ Nathan Hale Williams

Every hear of Nick Vujicic? Think you’ve got it bad? If this doesn’t, boost your perspective about happiness to an entirely different level, you are probably dead and they haven’t buried you yet. 😉

Nick makes it painfully obvious that we really do have control of our happiness regardless of the adversity in our lives.

Happiness IS a choice! Making that choice helps you feel better about yourself.

How long has it been since you chose what you wanted to feel?

CLoveLOGOCopyright © 2012 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
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Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Choose To Grow!

Filed under: Choice,Personal Growth — Larry James @ 8:00 am
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Ernie Fitzpatrick, Guest Author

Of the three “Q’s“, the one that has helped me the most has been my AQ!

My IQ (Intelligent Quotient) was measured once upon a time in a college far, far from here and I’m not sure what the number was, but I believe it was average. As much as I had to study to get good grade in college, I’m not buying my IQ was average, but I digress.

My EQ (Emotional Quotient) has been one exciting roller-coaster ride.

My AQ (Adversity Quotient) hs served me well while also attributing to some of those steep hills down on the roller coaster. But seriously, the many hardships of life taught me some good lessons. I’m not talking about minor things but some of those biggies life: loss of a wife in a plane crash, loss of a son in a car crash, a fire that destroyed our home, cancer that threatened my ability to speak, and a host of other not so normal bone-rattling traumas.

I wouldn’t recommend that you experience any of the above for growth purposes; however, they did exactly that for me.

What we do when conflict of devastation arises determines how far we get to mature. Our RESPONSES (not our REACTIONS) can only be of benefit when we don’t take them personally. Say what? Are you kidding me? No, I am not. In the end we’ve be given FREE WILL and it’s truly OUR CHOICE as to how we want to SEE the events of life.

We can either choose to retreat and cower, blaming whomever, or we can CHOOSE TO GROW!

BONUS Articles: Choice. . . Your Greatest Power!
What to Do? What to Do? Thoughts on the Dilemma of Choice! – Part 1
Living Life in the Leap!

ernieFitzpatrickCopyright © 2012 – Ernie Fitzpatrick. Ernie Fitzpatrick founded LRC September 6, 1987. What began as a church called Liberty Revival Church has morphed into a spiritual community now called Life Revealing Community. LRC is primarily a spiritual community of men and women dedicated to advancing their spiritual walk while assisting the Visual & Performing Art high school students: providing them with incentives and scholarships, as well as emotional support. Ernie is a graduate from Washburn University (Topeka, Kansas) in 1966 with additional graduate work at Kansas University. Ernie has primarily been a real estate and business entrepreneur. He served as CEO of Century 21 of Texas, Inc. developed his own national builder franchise (Todany’s American Builder), and was COO of RE/MAX of Texas. Visit Ernie’s Website.

CLoveLOGOLarry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
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Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com

Monday, September 5, 2011

Live Your Life Like a Movie!

Filed under: Choice,Relationships — Larry James @ 7:00 am

Are you writing the script?

OR. . . are you going with the flow?

We all live our lives like a movie. We write our own scripts. Let’s all do a little bit better writing happy endings to the many scenes in our movie. We are the star of our own show. I hope you know that. How does that feel?

lightscameraactionWrite a script that will have you operating at peak performance. If you don’t feel good about how your movie is progressing then maybe you need to stop and rewrite a script that will eliminate all negative possibilities.

Know that you have the power. This is your movie. You get to have your life be and end the way you write it. Your life is in your hands. Write in some leisure activities when you begin to feel that “life is hard” and you don’t think you can do it. Take a break to recharge your batteries. Write some fun into your movie.

Write the script so it gets you what you want. Remember to create a plan for the action! If what you want is ambitious, plan to work as smart as you can. Write a script that will get you excited about what you are doing and the direction you are taking. You may discover that it takes doing more than you are willing to do to get what you say you want. You have two choices. You can either decide to do more or decide to accept less.

It’s your choice. Once you’ve made the choice (your greatest power – I might add), rewrite the script. Be flexible. Scriptwriters have lots of rewrites.

Play the role with vigor. All actresses and actors take risks. You must take risks to get ahead. Those who take no risks perhaps take the greatest risk of all.

Whatever you decide to do, do it. Be the star. Put in your finest performance yet. Remember, regardless of what you choose, do the best you can do. The best you can do is always good enough! Have it be your finest hour!

movieticketsMake your life’s movie one you will be proud to show your audience. Make it one that when the people of the world have seen it, the world will be a better place. Give an Academy Award performance. You deserve it.

Stake your claim!
Plan your game!
You’ve plans to make
And actions to take!
It won’t be the same
When you’ve got fame
From winning the game!

CLoveLOGOCopyright © 2011 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

letsbefriends2

Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com

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