Larry James' BLOG

Monday, November 23, 2015

Are You the “Essence of Joy?”

Filed under: Joy,Relationships — Larry James @ 7:30 am
Tags: , , ,

I’m not suggesting that you go around “joyful” all the time, but that your essence should reflect the fact that you focus on what makes you joyful the biggest percentage of the time. You cannot reflect this joy if you are hanging around others who are duds!

Look at your top 5 friends. Do they reflect joy? No! Then why are you hanging around them. You usually become more like these people the more you hang around them. Me? I like people who are UP most of the time. They are just more fun to be around.

REL-EssenceofJOYIf you focus your attention upon the experience of being joyful as much as you focus upon the absence of it, not only would you begin to enjoy life more, but maintaining your physical well-being and balance would also be easier. Look for people who are happy. The problem is we focus too much on the problems and concerns we have and go about complaining and telling everyone how we feel. (Most don’t really want to hear it – unless they are doing the same thing – then they feel right at home with you). FOCUS!

Most of us are engaged in the here and now about 8 percent of our waking hours – the rest of the time is spent thinking forward or backward, dwelling in worry or regret. Forward thinking works better.

The easiest thing of all to lose is your joy. You receive a disturbing e-mail, the cat knocked over your coffee cup, and on and on. You cannot us be a good witness with your countenance if you live on the other side of joy. How do you get your joy back? The first step you need to do is admit you’ve lost it. Get your joy back! Always thinking, “I’d be more joyful if… or when…” won’t get you there.

Start by taking inventory of what matters to you and what makes you happy. Your own joyfulness is one of the few things you have complete control over and while cultivating joy can be difficult to achieve without intention, it’s work no one else can do for you. Before you get out of bed in the morning, think of something that makes you smile. Smiling more often is one of the keys to finding joy.

Every day, do something that reaffirms the beauty and joy of living. Focus on being more joyful. Intentionally focus. Being intentional clarifies your focus. When you catch yourself complaining about everything, your focus is distorted. What to do?

I made a conscious decision many years ago that I was not going to hang abound people who were negative, unhappy and who complained about things but never did anything different. Boo! Hiss! I found that I was becoming more like them and I didn’t like what I saw.

joyThen the “C” word showed up! I changed. There are consequences for every choice you make. Some good. Some not so good. As I put distance between people who I used to hang out with, I noticed that many other opportunities to meet new people showed up. That was good. How could I tell? They were people who when faced with a situation, immediately began to focus on a solution instead of bitching about it. The more I surrounded myself with people who were joyful, happy and self-confident, the duds began dropping by the wayside. Not everyone, but the ones that were dragging to down. I began to seek more “Wow!” moments. I became more optimistic. Experts agree that optimistic people are happier people, they are more joyful.

My whole attitude changed toward one of joy, fulfillment and more. Truly my whole like changed for the better. It’s important to find joy on your journey.

“Energy follows thought; we move toward but not beyond what we can imagine. What we assume, expect, or believe creates and colors our experience. By expanding our deepest beliefs about what is possible, we change our experience of life.” ~ Dan Millman

If you asked your friends, “Am I the essence of joy?” what would their answer be? First, they would probably think you’ve gone off the deep end, so don’t ask. You already know. And if you are not moving up the “Joy” scale, perhaps you could drop some of the things that are holding you back, focus on finding more things to be joyful about and begin to rain joy and happiness on everyone you meet.

What brings you joy?

Time to do something different. Turn off the news. Eat a cupcake. 😉

Sound like a plan?

BONUS Articles: 40 Ways to Find Joy in Your Everyday Life
Kidding Around With Romance

CLoveLOGOCopyright © 2015 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

the-archives2Click for Archives! ~ commentSubscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact:, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – and

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.


Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page:
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at:
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at:
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at:
Visit Larry’s Relationship Pin Board on Pintrest @


Leave a Comment »

No comments yet.

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URI

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Blog at

%d bloggers like this: