Ana Loiselle, Guest Author
Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes… they’re essential for marital harmony.
There are likely changes that you and your spouse would like to see in order to be happier together. What’s holding you back? What is so difficult about change?
Change is challenging because it requires conquering and retraining your brain, which rigidly maintains the status quo. Your brain controls the very behaviors that are unhealthy for your union, despite your desire for a happier marriage.
Doomed? Hardly. You’ve got science on your side. Use the fascinating research and discoveries of neuroscience and neuroplasticity to help resuscitate your relationship.
Brain research has immense implications for all aspects of your life: Relationships, personal growth, overall happiness, behaviors and habits.
Neuroscience reveals how habits are formed and how they can affect you on a daily basis. Many habits are helpful and healthy, while others… not so much. Your relationships can become patterns of habits that are often emotional reactions.
In other words, the happiness (or lack thereof) in your relationship is a product of your habits. You are the product of your actions and behaviors. Brain research now reveals why some actions or habits succeed and others fail.
Your behaviors and actions toward others are crucial to the success of your relationships. ‘Good’ habits release oxytocin into your bloodstream. That’s the fabulous feel-good chemical that surges feelings of love, connection and safety through your body and mind.
‘Bad’ habits (neglect, fighting, apathy, etc.) put you into fight-or-flight mode, which inhibits your brain from releasing oxytocin. Your ability to feel connected and your feelings of safety are diminished.
If you fall into the fight-or-flight category more often than not in your marriage, it’s essential to boost your oxytocin-response habits. Remember, according to neuroplasticity researchers, your mind can change your brain. Regardless of age, your brain’s plasticity allows you to rewire your habits.
How does this work if you want to improve your relationships? Happy marriages are a result of ‘good’ oxytocin-response habits. You must break away from old, ‘bad’ habits that are inhibiting your chances of happiness and connection.
Fact: Your brain is vital to a better connection and relationship. A behavioral shift can mean long-lasting change and a stronger, happier connection in your marriage.
It might not be effortless, but it’s absolutely feasible!
Copyright © 2015 by Ana Loiselle. Ana Loiselle is a relationship coach, author and professional speaker who specializes in helping people change their lives and improve important relationships. Ana is the Director of The Relationship Center with offices in Albuquerque, NM and Phoenix, AZ. In addition to her private practice, Ana is a highly sought-after speaker, known for her life-transforming seminars for both lay and professional audiences including universities, religious organizations, professional organizations, and community agencies.
Her now very popular brain-based program Rescue My Marriage Now!™ Bootcamp has saved hundreds of relationships. People from all over the world schedule private phone sessions with Ana and seek her help by joining the Rescue My Marriage Now! Bootcamp.
Ana has been a featured expert on NBC, UPublic, and the Fox Network. She is also a frequent guest on talk radio programs.
Ana is a graduate of the Relationship Coaching Institute, was the CEO of one of the Top-200 Fastest Growing Businesses in the US, and a former two time World-Champion Morgan Horse rider. She lives in Albuquerque, New Mexico.
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