Larry James' BLOG

Saturday, March 28, 2015

How is Your Relationship Doing?

Filed under: Relationships — Larry James @ 3:48 pm
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RELquizAn enriching relationship pays huge health dividends. To keep close and ward off prickly conflict, check whether you’re valuing each other enough.

“Appreciation-deprived relationships are like overdrawn bank accounts,” say Sabitha Pillai-Friedman, Ph.D., an assistant professor in the Center for Human Sexuality Studies at Widener University. When there’s not enough gratitude, goodwill diminishes and stress, conflict, and distance creep in. How does yours rate? (Ask your partner to take the quiz, too.)

1. How often do you thank your partner for his/her role in keeping the household running?

❏ Often
❏ Sometimes
❏ Never

2. How often do you thank your partner for just being there for you?

❏ Often
❏ Sometimes
❏ Never

3. How often do you notice and appreciate a positive quality in your partner? (Don’t fudge; be really honest here.)

❏ Often
❏ Sometimes
❏ Never

4. How often do you say nice things abut your partner when you’re together and talking to other people?

❏ Often
❏ Sometimes
❏ Never

How you scored…

Three or fewer “often” answers? Your partnership could use a few more strokes.


Begin each day by saying something appreciative, like “Thanks for making the bed” or “You’re great for remembering to buy milk last night.” Then throughout the day notice and acknowledge a few of the good things your partner does – brewing the coffee and bringing it to you, talking you down from a mental ledge, picking up your dry cleaning because your schedule got jammed, whatever.

“This simple strategy can change your relationship dynamic more quickly than you think,” Pillai-Friedman says. Even if your partner doesn’t sit down and take the test,, tell him or her about your results and plans your have for improvement.

Appreciation is highly contagious.

Copyright © 2015 Dr. Oz, The Good Life Magazine. Subscribe here!


CLoveLOGOLarry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

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