“When you look at all of the complaints about social media, smartphones, and the internet at large, most of the complaints boil down to one thing: attention. People don’t have any attention span anymore. People don’t focus on what’s in front of them anymore. People don’t even talk to you at dinner anymore.” ~ Mark Manson
Because we’re all spreading our attention so thin, many of us are losing the all-important life skill of focus. Focus is what generates long-term relationship success. Focus leads to deeper and more meaningful relationships. Focus determines how well we can improve at something. The new age presents problems of attention, not of happiness or narcissism or loneliness. And as the technology’s critics point out, this issue is not going to go away, it’s simply going to get worse. The problem is not the technology itself, it’s how we choose to use the technology. Is it serving us or are we serving it?
Everyone is inattentive sometimes. However, for some people inattention becomes a serious condition that leads to significant problems in their relationships. Times of inattention are a part of life. Your spouse is an imperfect human being… just like you.
I would like to call attention to those people who – intentionally or not – flat out don’t pay close enough attention to their relationship. They let things slide past them as if their partner were not even in the room. Often a moment’s inattention can cause a lasting resentment from your partner.
It’s frustrating to suddenly realize that you’ve been talking to your partner and they haven’t heard a word you were saying. That’s just plain rude of your partner! It causes you to feel invalidated when you are not being heard.
When your partner speaks… stop what you are doing and LISTEN! It’s as simple as that.
Copyright © 2015 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.
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