Remember when you first got together. Go waaay back… back when you were both were not afraid to be romantic and show your feelings. Remember when?
The longer we are together, it seems that we begin to suffer from paralysis by analysis. It’s a condition that holds many of us back. Way back. We wish it were like it used to be but we are afraid to take the first step to genuinely show our affection to our partner. We analyze the situation and become paralyzed or reluctant to make the first move. Why?
Hmmm. It’s been so long since we were romantic that you are afraid she/he may think something is going on – or whatever! The point is, you must take the first step while you are still afraid if you want romance to be present in your relationship.
In those cases what do we normally do? We have an idea and we start to seek out information on how to make that romantic idea into a reality. We read books, we follow gurus, we read blogs, we listen to podcasts, attend seminars, sometimes we buy products, etc. We seek and we consume, which in and of itself is awesome and is needed to help us learn… but then many of us don’t take action. It’s when we consume and keep consuming without applying – that’s when we learned that we have a problem.
Let’s be honest, you probably don’t need more information. You likely already know what you need to do, at least you know enough to get started. The real problem is starting isn’t it? The worst part is when you look back and realize that it’s been months, maybe years that have passed by since you have demonstrated that you truly love each other. Good intentions turned into mild frustrations cloaked in excuses… and you let romance slide.
You’ve heard that “knowledge” is power, right? No it isn’t. Knowledge is not power unless it moves you to action! It most likely will require some sacrifice or perhaps putting yourself outside of your comfort zone. You just need to start taking action… even if that initial action is small.
Start small. Ease back into romance. Write your partner a post-it® note and simply say, “I love you!” Scribble a note on the bathroom mirror. Use your imagination. You don’t need more information ~ you need more romantic action!
Larry’s note: Chick here for more than 20 FREE articles about “romance” to get you started!
Shower your partner regularly with lots of Love and romantic attention. For example, flowers, small gifts and loads of affection. Tell him/her that you love them. Take them in your arms – give them a long, tender hug. Bestow them with positive sentences and loving gestures. Remember, action always trumps intention.
In my relationship coaching practice, I’ve worked with hundreds of couples over the years and those who really want to change for the better, know that coaching won’t do it… it helps get a gripe on what the real problem is, but they know they have to begin doing something different. The couples who call months later with the same questions are the ones who just couldn’t take the first step to begin again.
Please don’t wait! Life is short. You don’t even know if your partner will be here tomorrow. You never want to have to live with that regret. Time isn’t stopping and waiting for you to make up your mind to be more romantic. It’s up to you. Start again. Don’t waste time. Wasted time is never found again. Perfection is a myth so don’t let the pursuit of it get in your way. Show your fear who is boss and tell it to “shut the hell up” when it tries to tell you lies about yourself, your ideas of romance and why you “can’t” do it. It may not be easy, however, remember everything that is easy was hard first.
Action begets action. Inaction leaves you living in regret.
Decide today that things are going to be different. Make a commitment to yourself and your partner. Discuss why you are afraid. That’s not easy, and it will open the door to new discoveries.
Give up an hour of TV, wake up early, stop checking Facebook or Twitter so much, avoid letting convenient distractions get in the way. No more excuses! Use that time to act. Apply what you already know. Get started. Do something different. Never give up.
Romance may not come as easy as it was in the beginning, but it’s still there. You just have to bring it to the surface with action. Always remember, it will never come at all unless you take romantic action.
Copyright © 2014 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.
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