Larry’s NOTE: Some couples find it difficult to talk about sex. Doin’ it one thing… talkin’ about is quite another. Communication in a truly intimate sense means that you are able to say how you feel and understand how the other person feels. People who communicate positively in an intimate relationship are also able to be both active and empathic in listening to their partner’s concerns. Besides, half the fun of sex is talking about it. Well, maybe not half. 😉
My suggestion is to print 2 copies of this quiz, then light some candles, have a glass of your favorite beverage, then each of you take the quiz. Once you know your score, you now have something to talk about. Go through each question and have an intimate, adult conversation about each of your answers. If you want the intimacy part of your relationship to be better you have to work on it… and part of working on it is having the courage to talk about. Sex is fun and pleasure is good for you! Enjoy!
Many people don’t know their partners’ needs as well as they should simply because they haven’t talked about them in the right way. The best way to do this is to talk with your partner about what turns him or her on and learn more about their “inner world” and desires.
How well do you know your partner’s inner world? Take this quiz and find out. Then work together to build love maps of each other’s inner worlds so that you can create more sexy sizzle in your relationship!
1. I know what makes my partner relaxed and feel safe: ❏ Yes ❏ No
2. I know my partner’s favorite sexual position: ❏ Yes ❏ No
3. I know how to flirt with my partner to get them in the mood: ❏ Yes ❏ No
4. I know at least one of my partner’s wildest sexual fantasies: ❏ Yes ❏ No
5. I know what NOT to do during sex with my partner: ❏ Yes ❏ No
6. I can tell when I’m turning my partner on or not: ❏ Yes ❏ No
6. My partner likes it when I flirt with them even when we’re physically not together: ❏ Yes ❏ No
7. I know how often my partner likes to have sex: ❏ Yes ❏ No
9. I know how to get my partner to have an orgasm: ❏ Yes ❏ No
10. I know what my partner’s sexual insecurities are: ❏ Yes ❏ No
11. I can tell when my partner likes it harder, faster, longer, slower, etc.: ❏ Yes ❏ No
12. I know at least two secret places on my partner’s body that are most sensitive and make them orgasmic: ❏ Yes ❏ No
13. I know what my partner likes to hear me say during sex: ❏ Yes ❏ No
14. I can tell when my partner is or is not in the mood: ❏ Yes ❏ No
15. I know what I can wear to turn my partner on: ❏ Yes ❏ No
16. I know what kind of rituals my partner likes to do after sex: ❏ Yes ❏ No
Scoring Key: Compute the number of times you checked yes. If greater than 14, your sex life is in good shape. If it is 13 or less, your sex life could stand some improvement. For more information about how to improve your relationship and your sex life, check out the newly debuted GottSex Series at www.gottsex.com, launched by The Gottman Institute.
Copyright © 2014 by Dr. John M. Gottman and Dr. Julie Gottman. Distributed under license by The Gottman Institute, Inc. Reprinted with permission by The Gottman Institute.Dr. John Gottman is a psychologist and one of the world’s leading researchers in the field of marriage and couples. His research has enabled him to predict, with over 90% accuracy, when observing a 5-minute conflict conversation, which couples will stay together and which will separate. Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman is cofounder and Clinical Director of the Gottman Institute and co-teaches the Institute’s Advanced Training Seminar in Couples Therapy and The Art and Science of Love Couples Weekend Workshop. For videos, products, workshops and therapy, visit http://www.gottman.com and also check out http://www.gottsex.com.
Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and a nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere.
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