Most people can spot a phony a mile away. I’ve been running into quite a few people lately who seem to be trying to be something or someone they are not. Every time we make small choices to fit in, we are burying a little part of ourselves down deep. Which got me thinking…
When you learn to be yourself, you learn to trust yourself. You will begin to listen to the “voice” within. As you acknowledge this inner-connection, and begin to listen to it, your life will begin to be different in a much better way. You will give up the notion that you have to pretend to be someone you are not.
This inner-voice or intuition is always right. Listen to it. Follow its advice. It will let you know when who you are being isn’t really you.
It can only be wrong when we make it wrong by not listening to it and by doing what “we” think is best. This inner-voice is committed to serving you in a way you are not being used to being served. You nurture it by listening to it and trusting it to never lead you astray.
If you are still unclear about which voice I am referring to, remember the last time you had to make a major decision. You sensed what you had to do, you listened and made a conscious decision to follow its direction. You knew what was right for you.
Truth is always within you. Listen to its voice. It will guide you into new and often uncharted waters where you can proceed with assurance that while you know you are the captain of your ship, you get to make the decision about listening and then go in a direction that your inner-voice or navigator says is right for you.
When you be yourself you don’t have to worry about what you say. I’m not talking about having a total disregard of people’s feelings. I’m talking about being yourself so that you express the truth about who you are in a way that demonstrates that you are a warm, caring, sensitive human being. Not worrying in the sense that you really don’t have to be concerned with remembering what you said last time you were with that person or who you were.
When you allow yourself to truly “be” yourself, you become the truth about yourself. Truth never forgets who it is. It’s the same consistently. It just is!
When you face the fear and go ahead and take the risk to be you, you create a freedom that has it be okay to know yourself and most important, to be yourself. Be you and be free! Freedom always follows risk.
Who you are being is your statement about yourself to everyone around you. People depend on their perception of others 80% of the time and reality only 20% of the time. When you be yourself, you “are” reality and it doesn’t make any difference whether people perceive you as yourself or someone you think they think you need to be. It is infinitely more important to be yourself and much easier too. #1, you don’t have to remember who you were being the last time you were with that person and #2, you feel much better about yourself when you know you are not putting on airs [to act better than you really are].
When you know that the truth about who you are it is much easier to conjure that up than phoniness, you will give up being who you’ve been and truly be who you are. It’s important to create relationships based on being the true you.
“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.” ~ Dr. Seuss
Sometimes, you need to step outside, get some air, refresh yourself and remind yourself of who you are and who you want to become. It’s time to stop trying to be someone you think someone else thinks you should be and just be yourself.
I suppose another way of saying this is that you no longer have to pretend. It’s making sure that what and who other people see is really you. In other words, what you see is what you get… consistently.
Copyright © 2014 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.
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