Larry James' BLOG

Sunday, June 1, 2014

You Cannot Not Talk…

Communicating with your partner is an absolute necessity for the success of the relationship!

Not communicating with your relationship partner – or not allowing them access to your thoughts and feelings – can exact a heavy price. A communications gap doesn’t only undermine the potential of the relationship; it can, and usually will eventually destroy the relationship.

TalkFace2FaceThe sound of silence in a relationship is deafening. The silent treatment sends many messages – “I’m not interested,” “I have nothing of value to say,” “Whenever I say something you argue with me,” “I give up… what’s the use?” “We used to talk everyday. Now I feel like we don’t even know each other any more,” and more. When it gets to that point, there is a serious issue brewing. Time to sit down – face-to-face – and work it out OR get help!

What stops you from communicating is not making a decision to do so. “Take all the time you need to decide, but the ice cream is melting!”

When your partner decides to communicate with you, he/she does so to fulfill a need.

Everyone manages emotion, communication and conflict from habit – patterns and styles developed early in life. In this context the past greatly affects your present relationship. To have a happy and successful relationship, you need to take control of how you interact with your partner.

It is my opinion that some of the greatest needs of human beings – after physical survival – is to be understood, affirmed, validated, forgiven and appreciated. The best way to get your needs met is to communicate those needs.

Never assume that your partner knows how you feel. People tend to rely heavily on assumptions to communicate. The problem with that is that you can’t be sure if someone’s assumptions are the same as yours, unless you communicate. Your partner cannot read your mind. Hints don’t work.

“The single biggest problem with communication is the illusion that it has taken place.” ~ George Bernard Shaw

TalkYour methods of communication are more important than the messages themselves. Your tone of voice is also often more important than what you say.

Then, there’s “listening!”

BONUS Articles: Say Something…
“I’m Fine!” and she stomped away…
Weigh Your Words

CLoveLOGOCopyright © 2014 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

commentSubscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact:, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – and

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.


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1 Comment »

  1. […] Articles: Confrontation is Not a 4-Letter Word Guys! Know When to Zip Your Lip! You Cannot Not Talk… Say […]

    Pingback by It’s Not WHAT You Say, But HOW You Say It!!! | Larry James' BLOG — Sunday, August 23, 2015 @ 8:37 am | Reply

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