Larry James' BLOG

Friday, May 16, 2014

Bring Back Those Memories…

Over time some couples drift apart. We all change, and that’s okay. Perhaps you’ve been together for many years, but your relationship doesn’t feel quite like it used to be. It’s important to remember the memories of the good times. What you take for granted… disappears!

“Remembering the good old days can revive your relationship. Memories of the way you were can stimulate better couple communication.” ~ Susan Krauss Whitbourne, Ph.D.

memoriesRemember the first time you ever saw her/him smile? What did you do on your first date? Do you remember what you wore? Your first kiss? Where did you go when you parked for a little moonlight and make-out?

Never stop doing the things that brought you together in the first place! That’ll help!

Sometimes, with everything that’s going on we tend to focus on the present and the romantic memories of the past begin to fade. Never let your romantic actions fade. Instead of trying to change that (and your partner), let it go. Instead, give them your support and lead by example. That means that if they are not catching on, you may need to have a talk.

If you are sad that your relationship isn’t more like it used to be… wake up! Although it’s never quite going to be like it was, it can always be better than it is now! All successful relationships require work. You must be willing to do the work!

“How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.” ~ Elizabeth Barrett Browning

So… perhaps it’s time to do some counting. Perhaps it’s time for you and your partner to reminiscence together sometime real soon. You may want to spend time apart thinking about some of those special occasions with your partner then go to dinner and talk about the good times and what you both can do to bring them back.

Instead of going out, some couples light some candles, play some romantic music, pour your favorite beverage – create a mood – and together remember what it was that brought you together in the first place. Relax and unwind. Take your time. Triggering a memory of an experience you had with your partner may light the fire again. Often one good memory leads to another. Sometimes your memory of an event may be different that your partners. Be sensitive to that and agree to be okay with it.

Reminiscing about the “way we were” could help bring back the joy you once knew when you were first together. What’s too painful to remember, you simply choose to forget – to coin a phrase.

Relive the fun times. One of the best ways to relive fun times is to do things that help you remember them. What was it that you did together when things were clicking? Do that again! Maybe you need to make a list. The memories you create between the two of you and the ones you will create from now on are yours and yours alone. Agree to make them memorable. Cherish them.

If you both find it difficult to do this on your own, you may want to schedule some relationship coaching. If you truly value your relationship and you do want it to work, coaching will be worth it!

Appreciate what you have, who loves you and who cares for you. You’ll never know how much they mean to you until the day they are no longer beside you. Then it’s too late!

BONUS Articles: Remembering the Good Old Days Can Revive Your Relationship

CLoveLOGOCopyright © 2014 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

commentSubscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact:, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – and

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.


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