Larry James' BLOG

Sunday, April 6, 2014

You Don’t Get Happy By Accident!

Filed under: Choice,Happiness,Relationships — Larry James @ 8:30 am
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Are you tired of waiting around for happiness to find you? …and waiting and waiting and waiting.

Happiness can’t find you and you cannot find happiness. Happiness is not something to be found… it exists whenever you decide you want it to. Notice I said, “You decide!”

MirrorMirrorHappiness is a concisious decision that pushes it to express itself.

Your thoughts become words, words become acts, acts become habits, habits express your character and your character becomes your destiny. Imagine if your thoughts were positive – you would feel happy most of the time. I’m sure you’ve heard that happiness is a choice many times. Why do you suppose that is? Because it’s the truth.

No one can make you happy either. They may do things that cause you to make the choice to be happy, however, it’s always your choice.

It appears that what determines happiness is due to personality and – more importantly – thoughts and behaviors that can be changed. You can learn how to be happy – or at least happier. People who are happy seem to intuitively know that their happiness is the sum of their life choices. Living in the present helps. Look for opportunities to savor the small pleasures of everyday life. Focus on the positives in the present moment, instead of dwelling on the past or worrying about the future.

Hold on to happiness. Visualize yourself being happy. Imagine it. See it in your mind’s eye. Hold the image of happiness on the canvas of your imagination. Happiness is a decision. Like Aristotle said, “Happiness depends on ourselves.”

Look for something to be happy about. Set a happy scene. Wake up with a smile. Every morning, wake up, look into the mirror and hold a big smile on your face, even if you aren’t feeling particularly cheerful. Believe it or not, just moving your muscles into a smile will increase endorphins and decrease the stress hormone cortisol that the adrenal gland releases in times of stress. Take a “selfie” of yourself making a silly face and pin it up where you will see it when you are not feeling happy. I sometimes will look into the mirror and make faces at myself. Just being silly when you are alone can also help. Sometimes I will laugh out loud. That always gives my smile a quick start.

“We have a lot of control over our moods,” says William Fleeson, associate professor of psychology at Wake Forest University, who has shown in studies that subjects can actually change the expression of basic personality traits on demand and lift their spirits in a matter of minutes. “We’re not slaves to our genes, and we don’t have to wait for someone else to do something good to make us feel better.”

Happiness is only and always a personal choice. Choose happiness!

BONUS Article: 10 Simple Things You Can Do Today That Will Make You Happier, Backed By Science

CLoveLOGOCopyright © 2014 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

commentSubscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact:, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – and

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1 Comment »

  1. […] Articles: You Don’t Get Happy By Accident! Turn On Your Happy […]

    Pingback by Everyday You Get to Start Over… | Larry James' BLOG — Tuesday, September 9, 2014 @ 7:30 am | Reply

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