I’ve been a relationship coach since 1995. It seems that more and more couples are struggling to get their priorities right. The three topics that have come up over the past 8 to 10 months have been faith, family and friends. You would be wise to put these three things on your priority.
Maybe it’s just me, however I feel that your faith should always be first in your life. There are so many names for God. When I speak of faith, I invite you to call on whatever name you call your Higher Power. To me, faith in something higher than yourself gives you comfort at you live your life. It’s important to have a sacred purpose.
There are many religions: Judaism, Catholicism, Christianity, Buddhism, Hinduism and Islamic to name a few. Religion is a specific church’s organized approach to human spirituality which usually encompasses a set of rules, narratives, symbols, beliefs and practices, not unlike a “how-to” guide, that give meaning to the practitioner’s experiences of life through reference to God or a higher power usually within that church’s denomination.
Spirituality has to do with what we make of what religion offers us and what we make of our place in life relative to the Divine, to self and to others. Religion could be thought of, at least in very general terms, as a large shared human activity organized and passed along in time to help individuals in their relationship to the Divine and to one another.
God, a Higher Power – or whatever you choose to call what you believe in – can only inspire you to make the right choices. He alone cannot do it for you. You and your partner must do the work.
Higher spiritual values give meaning and purpose to our relationships. They determine what we will turn away from and what we will move toward. Shared spiritual ideas are the basis for a lasting, fulfilling love relationship.
Putting your family next is hot! There’s nothing thrilling about wiping noses and refilling sippy cups once the children are in the picture, but it’s what you do because it’s part of being a family. It’s great to meet people who would rather enthuse their children than to bring their work home with them every night. Always respect family no matter what. Everyone can tell the difference between someone who gives you true respect and one who offers a show of fake chivalry – or no consideration at all. In todays busy world, many of us have jobs that do not allow for much free time to spend time with our family. I suggest that you make time!
“The number one need in all people is the need for acceptance, the need to experience a sense of belonging to something and someone. The need for acceptance is more powerful in your family than anywhere else.” ~ Dr. Phil McGraw
It’s important to create a sense of security and peace in your home. People who take the family seriously plan family activities together… often. They think, “we” not “me.” They never let anything stand in their way as they stumble through this crazy balancing act of pursuing your dreams while putting family first. Show me someone who is willing to truly cherish their family and I guarantee that’s where you will find happiness. Remember to put the friendship back in your relationship too. It’s important to never exclude, never abandon and never forget about our families!
“When you have a family, you represent them as well as yourself, so always present yourself in the way you want to be known and remembered as. Carry yourself with dignity and respect when you’re around your family, and continue to do the same when you’re not.” ~ Chey B
It’s great to have a spiritual and emotional connection to other human beings, but what’s even more wonderful about having love for others is letting those people know through your actions and your words that you love them. There is no better way to experience your faith than through intimate connections with other people. That’s where friends come in.
Some people when that get married stop hanging out with their friends. Now they are married, some say their single friends don’t fit into the picture. Unless your friends are bad influences, this is a bad idea. Of course you can always and will always make new friends, but it’s important to continue your relationships with some of the friends you already have.
BONUS Articles: Religion vs. Spirituality
Copyright © 2014 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.
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