We get pretty much what we expect to get in our relationship. What we expect to get is what we focus on. If it turns out good, we should not be disappointed. If it turns out bad, we should not be disappointed. We got what we expected. What else did we expect to get?
Perhaps we should learn to be in a relationship with no expectations. In a spirit of unity, only and always work together, all the time, to create the best relationship we can. All the time. With intention. In a spirit of unity. All the time.
If we could do that, maybe we wouldn’t have to be concerned about expectations when they surface; we would know things were always going to be as good as the people working on them. Perhaps that is why it is important to have a great relationship with ourselves.
When we can do a great relationship with ourselves, we can do a great relationship with our partner. We’re so busy waiting for someone to love us that we’ve forgotten about the one person we need to love first – ourselves.
Sometimes when we find someone special we begin to focus all our energy on them. What about you?
“Knowing how to love yourself is extremely important. Self love is at the very core of wellbeing, joy, self-empowerment, and your ability to create and enjoy the kind of life you want. You cannot enjoy happiness if you are not at peace with yourself. Your relationship with yourself is the most important one you’ll ever have.” ~ WellBeingAlignment.com
There seems to be a lack of understanding about self-love. This isn’t surprising when you consider that the current definition of self-love on Dictionary.com is: conceit, vanity, and narcissism. What a shame.
Do you have unconditional love and respect for yourself? Are you treating yourself like a best friend? Loving ourselves is an inside job. Embrace yourself. Give yourself an occasional hug. Keep in mind that loving yourself isn’t selfish. The more loving you are to yourself, the more love you’ll be able to send out to the other people in your life – your family, your friends, and the people you love.
“Your task is not to seek for Love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” ~ Rumi
When we reach that place, we can have a great relationship with someone else because we already know how to be in a great relationship… with ourselves! When you get right down to it, love’s not a feeling, it’s a decision. So make a choice right now to love yourself and to work on loving yourself more fully day after day.
We have to accept the good and the bad about yourself, the mistakes and the triumphs. We have to actually look at ourselves in the mirror and really see who we are.
Forgive yourself of all of the thoughts, feelings, etc., you have that may keep you at a safe distance from loving you! Spread your arms out wide and tilt your head to the sky. You’ve chosen a higher path for yourself, and now you get to watch the clouds part and feel the sun shine on your face. There’s no better time than right now – yep, right this very minute! – to get started on some serious self-love. Go ahead… Shout it out: “I love me!!”
Copyright © 2013 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.
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