Larry James' BLOG

Friday, November 29, 2013

Turn On Your Happy Switch!

Filed under: Choice,Happiness,Relationships — Larry James @ 7:30 am
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November and December are months that typically bring to mind family and friends. It is often a difficult time for people who have lost a loved one through death, divorce or separation. The following suggestions will help you to focus on giving the gift of happiness, not sadness, first to yourself and to your friends during the final days of this year.

Researchers have determined that the human brain is much better at taking in negative experiences than positive or “happy” ones. But then, I think you already knew that.

happyswitchAre you tired of waiting around for happiness to find you? I’ve got good news! You can rewire your brains to better absorb the good. You can begin by taking greater notice of the happy moments that happen to you all the time. When something happens that causes happiness, take 5 to 10 seconds to allow that positive moment to really sink in. Reflect upon how it makes you feel better. Never allow the unhappy moments to hijack your attention. Stay focused on happy thoughts. All you need to do is to consciously turn on your happy switch! We all have one. We often call it by another name… “Choice!”

Henry David Thoreau once said, “Happiness is like a butterfly: the more you chase it, the more it will elude you, but if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit softly on your shoulder.”

With all due respect to Henry, that just isn’t so. You can choose to be happy. You can chase down that elusive butterfly and get it to sit on your shoulder. How? In part, by simply making the effort to monitor the workings of your mind.

If you have been looking for happiness, the good news is that your choices, thoughts and actions can influence your level of happiness. It’s may not be as easy as flipping a happy switch, but you can turn up your happiness level.

The first step, is to make a conscious choice to boost your happiness. Choose to be in environments and around people that increase your probability of happiness. Surround yourself with happy people. That really helps!

walkAwayAt one point in my life, I couldn’t believe how important is was to distance myself from people who dragged me down. I stopped calling them and hanging around them and what happened was – to me – a miracle! I began to notice that I didn’t miss their complaints, criticisms, blaming, whining, clinging, nagging, anger, etc.

What a difference! It was hard at first because I actually thought that some of these people were my friends. Little by little my whole attitude changed. When one of my friends complained that we never saw each other anymore, I actually told him that I was getting better. When he asked better from what, I told him that I was only interested in being around happy people. I never saw him again. Good riddance. (Whew! That wasn’t as hard as I though it was going to be)! Truth is… I really don’t miss him.

If you’re not an optimistic person by nature, it may take time for you to change your pessimistic thinking. You can do it. How? Because happiness is always and only a personal choice. Hard to believe? Believe it. It’s true.

Try this on your way to happiness. Dump your negative thoughts into the trash. This is what happens when we treat our thoughts as material objects. If you have pervasive negative or unhappy thoughts, write them down on a piece of paper, and physically throw them away, or burn them! Sound crazy? It is, and it works. This strategy can be employed as a quick way to clear your head of negativity which causes unhappiness. Learn to control your thoughts or they will control your life and steal your happiness.

Being in a state of happiness contributes to the overall quality of your life, relationships, your life’s work and much more. It gives you a sense of control, feeling loved, secure, and good at what we do. So… Turn on YOUR happy switch and watch what happens!

CLoveLOGOCopyright © 2013 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact:, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – and

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1 Comment »

  1. […] BONUS Articles: You Don’t Get Happy By Accident! Turn On Your Happy Switch! […]

    Pingback by Everyday You Get to Start Over… | Larry James' BLOG — Tuesday, September 9, 2014 @ 7:30 am | Reply

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