Larry James' BLOG

Thursday, August 1, 2013

3 Lies You’re Telling Yourself That Keep You Single

Filed under: For Singles Only,Relationships,Self-Image — Larry James @ 7:30 am
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Virginia Clark, Guest Author

Here’s how your negative internal monologue may be pushing love away from you.

ilie-to-yourselfI don’t want you to feel like a crazy person, but have you noticed how much you talk to yourself? Everyone does it, and you’re probably not an exception. Even now, while you read these words, your mind is chatting to you.

Indeed, our self-talk is active during every waking moment. Much of what we say to ourselves is made up of repetitive ideas that we’re not even aware we’re thinking. If the majority of these ideas are negative, our actual experience will in turn be tinged with negativity, giving us the very opposite of what we desire. After all, what we desire is love in a healthy relationship.

If we don’t get wise to the self-talk going on in the privacy of our minds, we’ll end up sabotaging our relationships, creating pain and misery for ourselves and for those around us. Often, we tell our friends and family one thing, but secretly think the opposite. For example, we may say that we’re happy being single, and excited about the search for a partner. In our minds, we’re terrified, scolding ourselves for not yet finding a good guy. In fact, there seems to be a “collective unconscious” of single women’s thoughts.

Speak-the-truthHere are the three lies I hear women telling themselves most often:

1. I will never find a man who’ll love me.
2. I’m not worthy of a great love.
3. I will die alone.

If these thoughts are all too familiar, you’re in need of some positivity. Luckily, there’s a remedy. We have to recognize that these beliefs are a product of our fear, and that they must be put to rest by acknowledging some truths.


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Instead, tell yourself:

1. There is someone out there for everyone. I see proof of this as I look at the many different kinds of couples all around me. I choose to believe that if I exist, so does he. If I am longing to find my partner; he must be longing to find me right now as well.

2. No one is perfect. That includes myself and the man who’ll love me. There are many imperfect people in wonderful relationships, and I’m no different. I know I’m worthy of a great love because if I wasn’t, then I wouldn’t have this strong desire for one.

3. This is my fear talking and it has nothing to do with my life or ability to love. I’m just being overly dramatic and scaring myself. No one knows the future or how their life will end. I refuse to hurt myself with these thoughts any longer. I choose to live in the present and enjoy my life.

clarkWe will always have negative self-talk; it’s a part of our makeup and it’s not going away. But we also have the ability to redirect our thoughts, to catch the negative ones that hold us back and to choose healthier ones that move us forward.

Copyright © 2013 – Virginia Clark. Virginia has coached hundreds of woman by helping them to uncover their blocks to love and marriage. She is the author of “It’s Never too Late to Marry.” With over 14 years of experience as a successful Certified Hypnotherapist, she is an expert on the power of the subconscious mind and it s ability to transform one s love life. You can find out more at


CLoveLOGOLarry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

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  1. […] Articles for Singles: The Three Biggest Mistakes Newly Singles Make You Date Who You Are! 3 Lies You’re Telling Yourself That Keep You Single Single and Ready for Love… […]

    Pingback by For Lonely Singles Only | Larry James' BLOG — Thursday, August 29, 2013 @ 7:31 am | Reply

  2. Always good to have these reminders about negative self talk. Even when one is conscious they’re doing it… it’s still very easy to forget. Thank you. 🙂

    Comment by Nicole — Thursday, August 1, 2013 @ 10:02 pm | Reply

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