Some of you know that I love jazz.
Sometimes I’ll dawn a headset, dim the lights and kick back in my recliner and just listen to jazz. Sometimes I am so inspired by jazz that it commands that I come to my computer to talk more about it.
Relaxed, I surrender to the music. And I know this may sound crazy but while listening – in essence – become one with the music.
Some of us listen to jazz on a much deeper level than many others. You can listen to jazz in many different ways. We all hear it but do we all hear it the same way? I don’t think so. Some of us can listen and just enjoy the music, others – while listening – have learned to hear it all and still be able to individually hear each player at will.
To me it’s fun to be able to – at will – isolate the sound of the lead sax player. Listening carefully, I sometimes wonder, before each note was played, if he knew what the next note was going to be. If what I believe to be true is that each note is divinely inspired, he knew intuitively that he needed to trust whatever note he played would be the right next note. I guess that partly suggests why I love jazz.
Sometimes knowing that I can listen individually or all together allows a tear to fall. I get a little emotional. Joy nearly overwhelms me. I am so into the music. It’s almost like listening with a vengence. My body often moves a little in time to the music and in between times it respects the music enough to lay silently and just listen. I know that my body, mind and spirit can be inspired by jazz and they often conspire to persuade my body to again swing a little with the music.
I’m thinking that if we attacked our relationships with a listening for opportunites to compliment our partner, learn her favorite color, know his likes and not so likes, share your innermost thoughts and feels, etc., than maybe our relationships would be better. Are you listening to your relationship? What are you hearing? We all need to learn to listen differently, especially to our relationship. What do you think?
Jazz is so spontanious. That’s another great thing to have in your relationship. Spontaneity. Doing things so often that you hardly realize that you’ve been doing the same things all the time – that’s called boring. No wonder some people just quit and move on. If there is creativity somewhere in there – for your own sake – shake it up a bit and aways remember you must never stop doing the things that brought you together in the first place.
When I hear jazz I often feel that I know what note is coming next and that the player knew what note was coming next too. If creativity and inspiration truly have a connection to something greater than we are, perhaps that’s where the next note comes from. Listening with a knowing.
A knowing that came in a flash of sudden awareness that we know we can control our very own thoughts enough to litterly change the course of our relationships and our life. We can listen differently. We often listen to only what we want to hear. Now we know we can choose differently too. By the way, one of the things that truly makes a relationship work is to be a committed listener – not just talk all the time.
We get to choose what we want from our relationship. That’s right… we get to choose.
Are you one of us?
Copyright © 2013 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.
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