Barbara Joyce Peters, Guest Author
Does it sound a little odd to you to think of a relationship like a contact sport? Yet it is very exciting to touch and be touched.
Couples desire touch. They want it, crave it, and need it, but many times just don’t have it.
Touch dissipates in many relationships, and this is sad for couples. But when asked, they do say that things used to be very hot in the beginning! How did they become distant physically? Touch is necessary to humans. For example, Dr. Paul Brand, a pioneer in the field of healing through touch, writes: “Skin cells offer a direct path into the deep reservoir of emotion we metaphorically call the human heart.” Whew, that’s something to think about!
Nurses often remark how babies in intensive care units respond to touch. A baby moves affirmatively to a parent’s finger grazing over the tiny body. Just a gentle stroke offers the physical connection of human to human, the connection so needed for survival. Research studies show babies need touch to thrive—as do we all.
If your relationship seems to lack this connection, think about the time in your relationship when casual physical touch quickly led to intensely romantic moments. It can happen again!
Try just holding hands when you talk together. This simple gesture adds so much to the communication that you share when you talk. Especially when you must solve serious problems, it helps to hold hands while you discuss your feelings. It becomes easier this way to reach compromise and resolution.
Want to rekindle your fire? Here are a few suggestions:
• Tell each other how you like to be touched. You can even show your partner how.
• When your partner turns around (not facing you), gently touch your partner’s shoulder, or encircle your arms around your partner’s waist.
• Be generous with your embraces. Research shows that four to eight hugs given over a day will increase bonding and connection between couples.
• Don’t be shy. As soon as you know how your partner likes to be touched, try it!
Remember this song from Lennon and McCartney: “I want to hold your hand! And when I touch you, I feel happy inside, it’s just a feeling that, my love, I can’t hide.”
Wouldn’t we all love to feel this way?
Copyright © 2013 – Barbara Peters. Barbara Peters is a gifted communicator with a laser beam ability to cut through the tangle of personal drama to get results and relationships that last a lifetime. As a Licensed Professional Counselor, her counseling style is interactive, respectful, non-judgmental, and supportive. In her first book, “The Gift of A Lifetime: Building a Marriage that Lasts,” Barbara lends insight from her years of experience as a couples’ counselor to give people those essential tools and guide them on successfully using them. Visit Barbara’s Blog. She is also a contributor to The Life Change Network.
Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.
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