Only one thing activates, then converts the negative energy of anger into positive energy… intention. The intention must be to do something different; something that works. When you discover that what you have been doing isn’t working, the only logical thing to do is to do something different. Make that transition as soon as you can.
When we disagree or become angry, our relationship can often become “temporarily out of order.” Arguments that bring anger to the boiling point are most destructive. Restoration is a process. It requires patience, understanding, acceptance and much love. Discuss with an intention to resolve the conflict.
Give up being right. When self-discovery becomes more important than being right, then every situation in our relationship will present us with an opportunity to learn about ourselves in a new and exciting way. Arguments create negative distance. We must move through conflict as quickly as we can. Life is too short to maintain negative distance between love partners for lengthy periods of time.
Disagreements are a signal that your love partner needs care and understanding. Develop a way of listening that allows you to hear the anger without becoming defensive. Because they are angry does not mean you are not loved. You can love and be angry at the same time.
We are talking about change. Yes, it is uncomfortable to change. You must decide which is the most uncomfortable. The same energy you expend on anger, when re-directed, can help free you of the negative emotions you feel when you are angry. Freeing yourself of these negative emotions is something you do. It is never dependent upon whoever or whatever you think is the cause of your anger.
Copyright © 2013 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.
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