My mother used to say that if you always tell the truth, you never have to remember what you said.
Always telling the truth is the most important consideration in any relationship. Couples should talk with each other openly and honestly to learn more about each other to enhance the relationship, instead of concealing the true sides to cheat each other. When you let your partner know you won’t punish them for telling the truth they will be less likely to lie in the first place. How many times have you heard someone say, “I didn’t want to hurt hurt his/her feelings. A little ‘white lie’ is okay.” Never tell little “white lies” to avoid conflict. A “white lie” is still a lie!
Openness means being willing to communicate your deepest feelings. There can be no intimacy without conversation. The only way your love partner and you can truly communicate is to tell the truth. Truthful communication moves love partners and creates a condition of unity, love and satisfaction.
For intimacy to grow in a healthy love relationship there can be no withholding; feelings – both positive and negative – must be shared equally between love partners. The act of withholding the truth is always potentially a lie.
People often think that telling the truth means you have to tell the other person everything that you think. It’s easy to see how being truthful in this regard could be damaging to a relationship. When deciding for yourself whether to tell the truth, remember to ask if what you are about to say is really that important, and think about the way you express the truth. We can’t control how other’s react to what we say, but we can control the way we say it.
The energy required for the self-discipline of honesty is far less than the energy required for withholding. Your partner and you must be dedicated to the truth and live in the open, and through the exercise of your courage to live in the open, you become free from fear. Fear cannot exist whenever insight is valued above feeling frightened.
If you are dating, here is a situation that should always be answered with the truth: “When you aren’t ready to take the relationship to the “next level,” or “When you’ve realized you aren’t into your significant other anymore.” It’s better to be truthful than to prolong the agony. If the relationship is complete… finish it.
Notice that I did not say that the relationship is over. Relationships never end. You can be complete with a relationship but they never end. Death, divorce, or separation does not end a relationship, it only changes it. As long as you have memory, you will have relationships. Letting go and moving on is the difficult part.
“The truth is powerful because nobody expects it. In a world where most people have been duped, fooled, conned, scammed, spammed and screwed over too many times, if you can just be completely honest where most people would say nothing, communicate more than people think is needed, give more than people think is fair and care more than people think is expected, you will not be forgotten.” ~ From “HELLO, my name is BLOG!“
When you are in a situation and your partner makes themselves vulnerable, and you know they are telling you something that is difficult to say, say “I appreciate your telling the truth, and I admire that about you.”
Copyright © 2013 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.
NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.
Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at: http://CelebrateIntimateWeddings.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com