When in the heat of the battle, always remember: a warm hug cools a slow burn. It may be better to temporarily put aside feelings of anger during misunderstandings and express your love in a silent, close embrace. Clearly affectionate communication is beneficial, but what happens when the expressed affection is not an authentic representation of your partner’s feelings?
It is at times like these, when tempers are flaring, words can not only fan the flames, they can be like a flash fire; once the fire rages through, there is not much of anything left.
A hug at that moment, would be a shining example of unconditional love. Being angry doesn’t mean you are no longer loved or lovable, or that you do not love your love partner.
Love stands on its own. It only needs your constant attention if you want it to grow. While it may be difficult to express love in the middle of no agreement, it is possible.
Imagine a relationship where love partners, in the midst of a disagreement, can agree to a truce long enough to again call attention to the single thing that keeps them together. . . Love.
Go to your partner. You may not want to hug – which is all the more reason to do so. It’s hard to stay angry when someone shows they care for you – even when they are angry, and that’s precisely what happens when you need to hug each other. Hold one another, if only for a moment. Hugs can calm you down when you’re angry. When given sincerely you can actually feel the stress that anger caused being released. You may even want to get brave and whisper, “I love you” while holding your partner close. When things cool down, have a warm and loving conversation that again gives birth to the possibility of agreement.
Reaching out and touching someone, and holding them tight is a way of saying you care. Its effects are immediate: for both, the hugger and the person being hugged. Non-hugs are no good. They don’t have the same effect.
“If you’re angry at a loved one, hug that person. And mean it. You may not want to hug – which is all the more reason to do so. It’s hard to stay angry when someone shows they love you, and that’s precisely what happens when we hug each other.” ~ Walter Anderson, The Confidence Course, 1997
Hugging is one of the simplest ways we all can do to show compassion, care, happiness, sympathy, and Love, and according to relationship expert and life coach Pia Acevedo, “it only takes a mere 20 seconds for a woman to establish trust,” which then validates an individual’s being.
Through hugging and physically feeling the presence of another person, our body releases oxytocin or the “love hormone” which then results to the trust a female feels towards the other person and vice versa.
There is power in a hug. Hugs bring people together. This expression of human touch can silently speak forgiveness, sensitivity, acceptance, caring, healing and love. Healing is sometimes about simply having someone hold you in their arms and feeling their love, caring and compassion. When we’re feeling low, getting a gentle squeeze provides comfort like nothing else. A hug can help you feel safe and secure.
A lack of touch in our lives is detrimental to our well-being. We need physical contact to feel connected to something other than ourselves and to feel a little less alone, especially in times of need. Humans thrive on touch and often suffer without it. A hug can break down barriers that no words can. There is power in a hug.
Hugs are the new vitamin C. There is almost nothing that a hug cannot fix. In a new study, people who received more embraces from loved ones were less likely to catch a cold than those who weren’t as cuddly. Hugs, a sign of social support, may counter the immune system – lowering effects of stress.
If you can imagine it, you can bring it to pass. What an exciting possibility! Love – and a warm hug – more quickly heals a slow burn.
Get your “squeeze on!” Be an equal-opportunity hugger.
BONUS Article: How To Hug
Copyright © 2012 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.
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