Larry James' BLOG

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Change is Good… Except…

Filed under: Change — Larry James @ 8:30 am
Tags: , ,

When you love someone… never try to change them!

“To achieve the kind of relationship you would like and have never had before, you must become someone you have never been before!” – Larry James

In other words, YOU can change because you choose to change. Your partner will only change when they choose to change. So many men and women do their best to try to change their partner. That does not and cannot work! People only change because they want to change.

Changing how you feel about your relationship and your partner begins with changing how you think about them!

“One of the most loving things you can do for another person is let them make their own mistakes, learn their own lessons and endure in the contrast of a life they don’t really want. People only really change when they’ve hit rock bottom – sometimes the most loving thing you can do for a person is to let them and be there to help pick up the pieces. Permanent change comes from within, no one can give it to you.” ~ Jackson Kiddard

When we make adjustments in the way we are thinking and being with our love partner, over time they begin to give the appearance of changing; sometimes for the worse, but generally for the better. This is so because as our behavior changes, our attitudes about them also changes. We begin to see them as someone who is doing the best they can and we become more loving toward them.

When you love somebody you love them for what they are not for what you want them to be, without imposing your will and without constantly trying to change them.

“Love is the ability and willingness to allow those that you care for to be what they choose for themselves without any insistence that they satisfy you.” ~ Wayne Dyer

So if your intention is to change your partner. . . give it up! It won’t happen. What CAN happen is a more loving relationship when YOU are being the change agent for your own attitudes and behavior. What have you got to lose?

BONUS Article: I Will Not Ask Others to Become Different for Me!

CLoveLOGOCopyright © 2012 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact:, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – and

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.


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