Instead of speaking only of what has been… revise your way of speaking about what you want and need in your relationship today. Pour all of your energy into speaking only good words about your relationship. So many times I hear partners speaking to their friends in a negative way about their partner. It you cannot say something good about them; it is better to say nothing at all. If you speak or think only of the problem, hopelessness and despair, you will get more of that.
Weigh your words. 500 of the most commonly used English words have 13,000 meanings. Choose your words carefully. They become your reality. Wherever your attention is centered, your thoughts will focus, and since action follows thought, the things you keep looking at and speaking about are going to determine what you will experience. Your relationship lives on the tip of your tongue.
Never say things to your partner that you know will trigger past bad experiences. To do so is antagonistic and just plain stupid. In this scenario, remember, a closed mouth gathers no foot.
Make an effort everyday to tell your partner how much you appreciate them. Talk tenderly. Use terms of endearment, like “Honey,” “Sweetie,” “Baby,” etc. Say “thank you.” On the way to the office? Say “Goodbye, sweetheart” instead of just “Goodbye.” Whisper sweet somethings! Act loving toward each other daily and you will feel more loving toward your partner.
I hate the term “Fake it till you make it,” however it’s true that when you begin to visibly act more enthusiastic about your relationship, the enthusiasm is contagious. Talking the talk is one thing. Speak only good of your partner to yourself, to your partner and to others. Only good. Walking the walk should also be a high priority.
Nurture your partner with words of love, understanding, acceptance and forgiveness.
Nurture: To nourish, educate, grow or develop; cultivate.
Copyright © 2012 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.
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