Larry James' BLOG

Sunday, August 26, 2012

Romance in a Jar…

Filed under: Have FUN Together,Having FUN,Relationships,Romantic Tips! — Larry James @ 7:00 am
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Here is an idea that will keep your relationship from becoming stale and boring. So many couples that call me for relationship coaching have gotten away from doing the things that brought them together in the first place. Many claim that the romance has faded; that there just isn’t the excitement there once was.

coupleasleepOften as a relationship matures, some couples tend to trade that intense feeling of first being together for contentment and security. The utter sameness of the day-in, day-out togetherness can sometimes make you want to run for the hills. You come home from work, eat dinner and watch TV (sometimes falling asleep on the couch), go to bed, wake up and start all over again. Somehow it becomes a habit. Nothing new happening, just the same old thing over and over. Is this the marital bliss you were seeking? How exciting is that?

Some couples become unhappy and start fantasizing about new relationships that might have more to offer. Bad idea! Scratch that thought!

If your relationship isn’t working quite like you would like it to it can be a tremendous drain. Relationships are an investment. The more you put in, the more you can get back. If your relationship is stuck in peaceful coexistence, but not much else going on and you’re not truly relating to each other and working together – it’s time to do something different.

Part of the fun of being together is about doing fun things together; being a little daring and being spontaneous like you were when you first met. Just because you’ve been together a long time doesn’t mean you can’t still have fun being in the relationship. How can you make sure your relationship continues to thrive?

FUNjarIf the sparkle has dimmed or if you are lacking in the romance department here is a great idea. First, find a jar. You and your partner sit down some evening and each come up with at least 15 romantic and fun things to do together. Write each one on a separate note and put them all in a jar. Make it a point to add fun things to the jar whenever you come up with a new idea.

One couple I know called it their “Relationship TIP Jar.” They described it as the “anticipation of the unexpected.” It helps add that element of “new” to your life together.

When you are looking for something to do together, open the jar and randomly select one of the notes and immediately make plans to do it. If you had a great time doing it, put the note back into the jar and shake the jar to keep your next selection new and exciting each time. It’s fun to discover new and exciting things to do together.

OR… begin each year with an empty jar and fill it with notes about good things that you did together in the past. It then becomes a visible time-capsule of fun things that you can do when you need something to do. You can add fun things to do together that didn’t originally come from the jar as you discover new stuff to do. That’s one way to keep the fun and excitement in your relationship.

couplemassageYou could even start a jar of your own that helps you remember to do special things for your partner, like popping into her office to take her out for lunch or just stop by to say hello. You can come up with some of your own ideas and occasionally drop them into the jar.

The novelty of this idea helps you and your partner create new memories and feel more like a team as you try something new. It will help you stay involved with each other. Trying new things with your partner can help prevent boredom, make you feel closer to your partner, happier with your relationship, and more satisfied with life in general. Happy and healthy relationships take a lot of work. You must continue to come up with new things to do that deepen the connection you have with each other.

These are just a few great ideas for making your relationship more special, more loving and more fun.

Now that you’ve found that special someone, always continue searching for something new to converse about and keep that initial feeling alive for the years ahead. This search will continue to revitalize your love and your life together will look a little brighter.

If you are truly committed to making your relationship strong and healthy, with a bit of creativity and effort on the part of both partners, romance can become second nature to both of you.

BONUS Articles: Several articles about having fun together! Several more articles about fun!

heartCLoveLOGOCopyright © 2012 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact:, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – and

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.


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  1. […] Article: Make Everyday a FUNday! Romance in a Jar… Ways to Relight the Flame of […]

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  2. […] BONUS Articles: Date Night – No Less Than Once Each Week – No Excuses! Kidding Around With Romance Need a Distraction From the Day-to-day? Romance in a Jar… […]

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  3. I think it is amazing how a relationship can evolve so much (for better or worse) without either of the partners really being aware of it. I have been in this situation like everyone else and found that one day everything was different. It can be a real shock to the system and I guess that some couples just never recover from it. I went for some relationships help and we managed to get it sorted out but you are right about how it can slide up on us without any warning.

    Comment by Relationships help — Tuesday, August 28, 2012 @ 9:55 am | Reply

  4. The jar would be a great way to keep surprise and romance in the relationship. Every couple needs a “date night”, sometime that is set-aside just for them. Just knowing they will have time away from everything, and everybody, to re-live their exciting dates of the past makes the jar very worthwhile. Feel free to put a link on my blog, you are a very talented writer.

    Comment by Dating, Relationships and Sexuality — Monday, August 27, 2012 @ 1:21 pm | Reply

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