When you want to add new flavor to your weekly “date night,” think two plus two – add another couple to the mix and have a double-date.
Double-dating may seem less hot than a night alone with your partner, but studies show it can be healthy for your relationship, says Lori Bizzoco, founder of the celebrity relationship site CupidsPulse.com.
Double-dating could be one of the secrets to a long and happy marriage, according to a recent study. Researchers at the University of Maryland School of Social Work have found that maintaining healthy friendships with other couples can help to solidify a couple’s sense of themselves as a unit and can even increase partners’ attraction to one another.
If you want to go on a double date, you need another couple that you respect and know you can have fun with. There is an old and respected rule that birds of a feather should flock together. Well, double dating is not exempt from that rule.
One of the best reasons to double date with another couple is to bring the romance and your social life together, and have more fun. When you involve another couple, the conversations can be refreshing and may even start to feel like a new date. When you’re with another couple, you get to repeat happy stories about each other and have a laugh even if you’ve said the same joke a million times. You feel like a couple and yet you have four different points of view and four different people’s stories to share.
Whether you’re meeting old friends that you have a great rapport with or going out for the first time with new friends, double-dating brings newness and novelty and stimulation into a relationship.
For many couples, the conversations start to dry out as the weeks turn to months and years. They may just not have anything interesting or exciting to discuss about when they go out on a romantic date, especially when they spend a lot of time together. With double-dating the conversation if fresh. Dinner-for-two chitchat gets same-ole-same-ole. But another couple at the table yields new discussions – the virtues of a spontaneous weekend getaway. Being open to new opinions on varying topics allows you to bond not only with your friends but with your partner as well.
You gain perspective. Watch how the other couple interacts. Do they bicker over minor mistakes, or do they snuggle like lovebirds? Observing other couples’ behavior can suggest new ways to communicate, and even strengthen your own relationship.
There’s a new intimacy. Though it may seem counter-intuitive, time with another couple can be very romantic. Spending time with another couple on a date can actually bring the excitement back into your own relationship. There’s some reasoning that couples who have been together a while need an excuse to get “dressed up – physically and emotionally” – in front of new people. There’s a certain performance that couples put on when they’re in front of new people that is reminiscent of the performance we put on to lure our partner to us in the first place. Anything that can bring back that lovin’ feeling is fine by me.
Healthy couple friendships make a marriage more fulfilling and exciting for several reasons: By increasing partners’ attraction to each other, providing a greater understanding of the opposite sex, and allowing partners to observe ways that other couples interact and negotiate differences. During rocky times or big transitions, going out with other happy couples can make you feel happier, more appreciative of each other, calmer and more understanding and can inspire you in unexpected ways. Clearly, the benefits of double dating are almost unending.
A light, laughter-filled evening with friends helps relieve stress. Then you can take advantage of the good mood that follows – what you do with it is now up to the two of you.
Copyright © 2012 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.
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