Larry James' BLOG

Friday, March 23, 2012

If You Are Going to Talk…

Filed under: Communication — Larry James @ 7:00 am

Say things worth listening to. Say them in a way that leaves your partner curious about what you might say next. Keep the conversation up! Dream up a few happy words that you can use to express your own feelings of joy.

Be challenged by engaging in meaningful conversation. Talk about things that are important to your relationship. Don’t leave anything out.

Develop a relationship that creates the freedom to talk about what needs to be said, without arguments… only conversations. It’s not easy.

sweetsomethingsIt takes giving your love partner the freedom to speak what is in his or her heart. It takes knowing that what they speak about is only their opinion, they have a right to it and are responsible for it. The challenge is to be okay with that.

Whisper sweet somethings in her ear: “Your presence is a unique gift to the world, I love you!”

No couple can have a healthy love relationship if they are not discussing things that matter. Open and intimate conversation is the only way you can avoid the mistake of only giving what you would like to receive instead of giving what your love partner really needs. Negotiate for what you both want and need and respect the differences.

happycoupleTalk to yourself. Speak words of kindness. Often we are harder on ourselves. Comfort yourself. Think about what you would say to comfort someone close to you. Talk to yourself as mercifully as you would your very best friend. Spend time finding the right words.

When two people really love each other and are committed to work together, challenges create the kind of conversation that empowers both love partners to continue to self-inquire. They then choose to investigate their curiosities about what they can do to stand together, to be challenged by this new way of being and know that everything is going to be okay.

Your relationship becomes whatever two love partners decide it to be. It is the result of two dancing hearts being in step with one another; dancing to the same rhythm; connected; communicating words of love in a dance of togetherness. Be committed to communicate. Conversation occurs when someone is speaking and someone is listening. Being an attentive listener often offers an opportunity for healing and suggests a deeper level of love than simply saying, “I love you!”

Affirmation ~ For me to experience the kind of relationship I want, I accept that to understand each other, my love partner and I must have clearly developed channels of communication.

happyheartSANDCLoveLOGOCopyright © 2012 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact:, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – and

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.


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1 Comment »

  1. Reblogged this on cornelilioi.

    Comment by cornelilioi — Saturday, March 24, 2012 @ 2:50 am | Reply

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