Larry James' BLOG

Monday, March 19, 2012


Filed under: Communication,Listening — Larry James @ 8:00 am

Quiet please! In some relationships… it’s a noisy world.

Sometimes it is best to just listen. Don’t talk.

shhFew things are more frustrating in a relationship than having to repeat yourself because the person you are speaking to isn’t listening or both parties are so determined to get their own points across that they have little regard for what the other is saying. We all like to broadcast their thoughts and feelings, however not at the same time.

Listening and making constant adjustments is not just a short term quality solution. It creates a feedback loop between both partners and allows for both to be heard. Like I said before, sometimes it is best to just listen. Stop what you are doing; no texting, turn off the TV, and stop working on your computer. Make eye contact to show you are interested. Don’t interrupt. Especially if there is disagreement present.

No multi-tasking is allowed while listening. If only we’d listen and stop thinking about what we’re going to say next, we could pick up crucial hints about what our partner is communicating. Let your partner talk until they have said all they need to say, then acknowledge that you heard them and then shut up. Save your comments for another time.

justlistenEffective communication is the most vital component in having a healthy love relationship. Communication occurs when one person talks and the other listens. The “effective” part of communication is one that includes clarity in expression and the mutual exchange of thoughts and feelings.

When couples don’t listen to one another, the result is often frustration, anger, misunderstandings, and hurt. Listening means hearing what is said in terms of understanding, giving the information room in your head, and listening with an open mind to let the information be well-received.

shhhListening to your partner opens the door to trust and communication on a much higher level. Giving your partner their due respect when they are trying to communicate with you only increases the power of the relationship, increasing the chances for a life of happiness and joy.

Listening is a gift you give to your partner. Give it freely without conditions. Listen with affection to your partner; be in their shoes when they speak; listen with patience; listen without arguing, or changing the subject. Listening is an inspired solution to a happy and healthy relationship. Listening is an art.

Shh! Quiet please.

BONUS Articles: Do You Have Audioapathy?
No More “Mr. Fix-it!” – For Men Only

CLoveLOGOCopyright © 2012 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s books, “How to Really Love the One You’re With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship,” “LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing” and “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.” Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact:, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – and

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.


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1 Comment »

  1. […] Article: I’ve Got a Secret! – Wanna Know What it is? Shh! I HATE You, […]

    Pingback by Listening to Jazz… | Larry James' BLOG — Tuesday, June 18, 2013 @ 7:30 am | Reply

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