Larry James' BLOG

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Intimacy… It Can Mean Many Things

Filed under: Intimacy,Sex — Larry James @ 7:00 am

Barbara Peters, Guest Author

I have an amazing job. Every day I meet so many interesting people willing to share their stories, and each introduces me to something new to broaden my view of the world.

intimatecoupleRecently intimacy was the focus of a couple’s counseling session. The wife had been concerned about the lack of intimacy in their marriage.

Her husband had a surprised, almost quizzical, look on his face as she made her comments. Clearly this couple wasn’t on the same page. Obviously, the husband thought the level of intimacy in their marriage was just fine.

To ensure both partners knew exactly what we were talking about, I asked each to describe their view of intimacy.

Jumping right in, the wife said there wasn’t enough hand holding, touching, and physical closeness between the two of them. She went on to say this made her feel unattractive, and she often imagined she was forcing her husband to perform sexually in the bedroom. Her husband’s lack of compliments caused her to feel he didn’t desire her sexually. This wife felt intimacy was connected with physical or sexual closeness, and she wanted more of it.

When I asked her husband how he defined marital intimacy, I got a different picture. He felt intimacy was being together as a family, interacting on a personal level, and being able to share troubles and joys in a life together. For him, the physical component was a secondary aspect of intimacy. While he didn’t deny he had sexual needs to be met, his idea of intimacy was more connected to emotional needs being fulfilled.

Both the husband and wife were right on. Intimacy does encompass many different things.

Wikipedia defines an intimate relationship as “a close interpersonal relationship that involves physical or emotional closeness. Sexual activity is a characteristic of the physical component. On an interactive level there is also emotional and personal support given to each other, which fulfills the need of belonging and caring for each other.”

The key is to blend the physical with the emotional in ways that are fulfilling to both partners. Once again, communication is the only way to find out what your partner wants and needs, and how those needs mesh with your own. Opening up a dialog is the first step to creating an intimate world which includes just the two of you.

sexual_intimacyWhat does your world of intimacy look like? Can you find ways to make it more fulfilling?

BONUS Articles: Sexual Intimacy In Marriage
Know What Turns You On
For Men Only – More Housework. . . More Intimacy!
Red Hot LoveNote…
15 Hot Ideas for Phenomenal Physical Intimacy!

To Order click book cover!

Copyright © 2012 – Barbara Peters. Barbara Peters is a gifted communicator with a laser beam ability to cut through the tangle of personal drama to get results and relationships that last a lifetime. As a Licensed Professional Counselor, her counseling style is interactive, respectful, non-judgmental, and supportive. In her first book, “The Gift of A Lifetime: Building a Marriage that Lasts,” Barbara lends insight from her years of experience as a couples’ counselor to give people those essential tools and guide them on successfully using them. Visit Barbara’s Blog. She is also a contributor to The Life Change Network.

CLoveLOGOLarry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact:, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – and

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.


Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page:
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at:
Follow Larry’s “Wedding BLOG” at:
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at:



  1. […] BONUS Article: 7 Ways To Enhance The Intimacy In Your Relationship 7 Ways You’re Being Unfaithful to Your Spouse and Don’t Even Know It Making Love vs. Having Sex! Intimacy Quiz Intimacy… It Can Mean Many Things […]

    Pingback by Are You Available for Intimacy? | Larry James' BLOG — Tuesday, June 16, 2015 @ 7:32 am | Reply

  2. […] Intimacy… It Can Mean Many Things […]

    Pingback by, ' Intimacy… It Can Mean Many Things ' — Tuesday, January 31, 2012 @ 7:17 am | Reply

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URI

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

Create a free website or blog at

%d bloggers like this: